Minnesota Joe Posted August 11, 2000 Author Share Posted August 11, 2000 I thought the first hour or so of Red Dawn was entertaining. After that, the characters get themselves all killed in stupid situations. Example (spoiler included): Close to the end, the group of kids is in a rocky area and are attacked by 3 or so Hip helicopters. One of the kids (who has a had a lot of experience fighting Russians for the past year) fires at a helicopter coming straight at him to strafe him. He has an RPG-7 on his back (which he could probably use to put an RPG straight through the canopy of the chopper) and there is a large boulder right behind him that could be used for cover. So what does he do? He fires his AK from the hip at the chopper and yells "AAAAAAHHHHH!" before he is of course killed by the helicopter. [This message has been edited by Minnesota Joe (edited 08-11-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spook Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 I think mch's earlier vote for "Red Dawn" is a good one. (Soviet paratroops landing in Colorado state at the very start of WW3? HILARIOUS.) "Battle of the Bulge" makes the first cut too at lousy war movies. "Anzio" is one that gets a nomination from me. It wasn't actually too bad on a historical note, but it was truly one of Robert Mitchum's worst performances to me. It got so that I wanted to see his character get shot in the film. Has anyone seen "Port Arthur"? I hear tell that NO wargamer or historian can watch that whole movie without bursting a seam laughing. What we should do is list our choices by war or period. I think virtually every significant war has got its Hollywood stinker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oberst Angsthase Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 There was an awful one about PT boats called "In Harm's Way". In the end they sent a handful of PT boats to intercept a japanese heavy cruiser. EEEEWWWWWW! Also, "Bombadier". A movie of cliches with some lines so awful it's a wonder they didn't become cliches themselves. One example: An airman is at his hearing to be transfered out of the air corps because he's deathly afraid of heights. After granting the transfer, the officer in charge commends the airman by saying "It takes a lot of courage to admit you're a coward." Dreadful! The other thing I hate about the cliches of that time period is the theme of redemption through death. Somebody does something bad, and they steal an airplane and locate the enemy fleet/base, then are shot down. If you did something a little bad you would end up wounded. And NEVER NEVER get married or engaged in a war movie Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Airborne Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 I too nominate: Big Red One Battle of the Bulge (all time worst) HeartBreak Ridge Anything with Stallone--First Blood was somewhat tolerable--forget the rest. I liked Midway except for the battle scenes of the wrong a/c flying. And yes, there is a korean war jet crash landing....I still love to hear C.H. say "You get paid to fly fighter planes not sit on your bunk and cry over your girlfriends picture. You better watch yourself, Tiger, or some hot-shot Jap pilot is gonna flame your ass" (edited in cable version). ------------------ Land Soft--Kill Quiet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sneaky Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 Hilarious laughter at the Midway Plane sequence. mch mentioned Red Dawn. Best line in that movie: "people been waking up with their throats cut". But, I'll have to stick with Dirty Dozen 2. Should be standard teaching material about how NOT to make a war movi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coe Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 Any movie where it shows the "bad guys" (especially the axis troops) lining up to get conveniently machine gunned - i.e. the German attack at Ramelle in Saving Private Ryan - hmm attacking in broad daylight? Boy were those mustangs late! Or where the good guy's expert team gets wiped out by the bad guys who in turn seem incapable of wiping out the main hero...etc. howabout that U- whatever number movie? Geez if the germans were that horrible with aim etc. The Allies should have won the war 3 days after the invasion of Poland! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>There was an awful one about PT boats called "In Harm's Way". In the end they sent a handful of PT boats to intercept a japanese heavy cruiser. EEEEWWWWWW!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Brace yourself ... at the Battle of Surago Straights (probably spelled wrong) they sent PT's up against Japanese Battlewagons. Mind you that wasn't all they had but the PT's launched and, IIRC, did get a hit. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BasilD Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 I would have to vote for Red Dawn. Aside from the idiot premise it has Patrick Swayze, thus giving it the edge. Some of the votees I haven't seen of course. ------------------ As the victors define history, so does the majority define sanity... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Airborne Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 I forgot Thin Red Line---Hated it.... ------------------ Land Soft--Kill Quiet Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 Since we aren't limited in time period here: The Conqueror -- The Duke as Genghis Khan; 'nuff said. Starship Troopers -- enough to make a bug queen roll over in her hive... ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Starship Troopers -- enough to make a bug queen roll over in her hive...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Glad to see you haven't lost your sense of humor in your captivity. Hang in there, we're assembling a SWAT team to get you out ... unless you'd rather "face the peril" by yourself that is? Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abrams Wannabe Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 I'd vote for Red Dawn as the worst ever and, as a close second, Full Metal Jacket. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aleader Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 I nominate every war movie as pure dogsh**, with the exception of SPR, Apocalypse Now, Platoon, A Bridge Too Far, and, marginally, The Thin Red Line. Some particularly rotten ones: The Longest Day (I don't care what anyone says, it sucked), Battle of the Bulge, and the all-time worst, Battle of the Last Panzer (where they actually used American tanks with Swastikas on the side as the Germans!). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andy A Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 Now who can forget that great French-Italian-yugoslavian-Lichtensteiner(I kid you not!)epic "The Battle of Austerlitz".(1960) Starring:Claudia Cardinale,Lesilie Caron and Jack Palance(Guest appearance by Orson Welles) Have your eyeballs bleed as you watch them crawl across the big screen!! ------------------ "They don't like it up em,Captain Mainwareing!" [This message has been edited by Andy A (edited 08-11-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dar Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 How can you include "Full Metal Jacket" in this thread? That's one of the best war movies of all time! The boot camp sequence is especially the best. I have to go with "Heartbreak Ridge" (let's all bunch up and forget all sound discipline, so one grenade can take us all out!) and "Starship Troopers" (we have spaceships, nuclear and chemical weapons, and laser/plasma guns, but no tanks, APCs, or artillery, so we'll have to fight on foot). Dar Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
penubly Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Dar: How can you include "Full Metal Jacket" in this thread? That's one of the best war movies of all time! The boot camp sequence is especially the best. Dar<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> My father was a Marine between Korea and Vietnam and always gets pissed off whenever "Full Metal Jacket" is mentioned. He hates the movie. He said the boot camp sequence is about 80% crap. At best it is an outsiders impression of the Corps. At worst ... well you can guess. Just look at "A ClockWork Orange" to see Kubrick go over the edge trying to make a point. Does anyone remember an old Mel Gibson movie set in the Pacific? They have to rescue someone from a plane crash on an island occupied by the Japanese. I seem to remember the letter Z in the title. Task Force Z? Definitely a stinker! Gallipoli was much better. Pretty much all the war movies with John Wayne made me laugh, even though I loved the guy. What about "Hell is for Heroes" , with Steve McQueen? I hated the MJ Fox movie about Vietnam with Sean Penn. ------------------ Always with the negative waves, Moriarty. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Pretty much all the war movies with John Wayne made me laugh, even though I loved the guy.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I would have to agree with one caveat and it's technically a western I guess, but "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon" was the best thing the Duke ever did and despite some of the schmaltzy stuff it's still a great movie. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Flipper Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 There was an old italian movie were they declare war on the u.s bomb new york an then invade the capitol the worst part is where they attack the capitol building disguised as G.I's an the american soldier's sensing trouble say's to them "where do the cub's play?"...he replies in a thick italian accent .."cub?..err..umm cub is a bear!" a few machine gun shot's later all the GI's defending the capitol building are dead they then go into the capitol building a shoot all the congressman who are running around in circles screaming I was pissed off for day's not because all our congressman were dead but we lost a war with italy! worst line in the movie "red dawn"...... "get outta here kid there's a world of hurt coming down!"...geez Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scortchus Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 Im suprised nobody mentioned PATTON....my favorite scene was the desert battle where Green M-60 tanks (USA) and tan M-60 tanks (Germans) fight it out on whats obviously a movie lot desert. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abrams Wannabe Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 Dar, If you want to see a good movie about boot camp see "Take the High Ground". Full Metal Jacket was a little too full of slap-you-up-side-the-head symbolism for me. It struck me as a ham handed attempt at making a Speilberg movie, "fell bad now, they shot a girl." Arg! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IntelWeenie Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 Green Berets with John Wayne. Worst scene of the movie is when they're massing (1-2ft away from each other!) to attack and he gives an order to 'pass it on'. You then see something like a wave as faces turn to tell the guy behind them then face back front. (Similar performance in The Longest Day, though I loved the scene with Priller on the phone!) ------------------ "Belly to belly and everything's better" - Russian proverb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rattus Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 The Thin Red line - that chap wouldn't shut up even after he was dead! I did NOT see that film! I did NOT see that film! I did NOT see that film!... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve Clark Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 Basing the worst war movies of all time on using the wrong tanks or planes??? Come on, the worse movies must have bad script, bad acting, bad directing, etc. not just wrong technical props. My worse? Any of the Vietnam movies (A. Now, Platoon, Deer Hunter, etc.), except for Full Metal Jacket. [This message has been edited by Steve Clark (edited 08-11-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gustang Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 Speaking of Patton, besides the bad rendition of tanks and some of the alltime worst faked deaths by both US and German infantry there's still one thing that bothered me more. The aircraft. Throughout the entire film, the same 2 (what look like HE111s- something clearly not suited for the role they were portraying) appeared time after time to strafe the US troops. I can hear the german co now.. "Achtung! Today, vi vill smash zi allied armor vis zi he111s modified for zi low-level ground attack".. sheesh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dell Wade Posted August 11, 2000 Share Posted August 11, 2000 I agree Thin Red Line What Island was it? All the major actors bit it 15 minutes into their roles. The major star was always in a daze about some island he was on. I almost fell asleep at that movie. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts