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37mm

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Posts posted by 37mm

    It Don't Mean a Thing if it Ain't Got That Peng -- Challenge, that is . . .

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    BAH! As if any of that matters. Where's the bile? Where's the vitriol, the hatred, the abuse ... NOWHERE! It reads as if the gameplay MATTERED!

    I blame his liege, so I do. A PROPER liege would have instructed the lad that we play the game so we can TAUNT! That's the reason for the game. Who gives a flying (you should excuse the expression) fig about SKILLS and TACTICS and GAMEPLAY. We play to taunt ... period. The final score of the game matters not a whit when compared to the final score HERE!

    Well I'm sorry if my beautiful & moving description didn't please you but can I ask where exactly was the bile in your whining “I can’t fly my aeroplane will someone help me” posts?

    I accept your criticisms Boo … I will try harder to ‘understand’ Joe in the future

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    It Don't Mean a Thing if it Ain't Got That Peng -- Challenge, that is . . .

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Look you here 37mm, as a lowly Squire ... not as lowly, of course, as a Serf but still lowly, it's not YOUR place to question the discussions of your betters ... or, in your case, to even UNDERSTAND the discussions of your betters.
    Was I questioning?

    Perhaps I was...

    Still I can't be the only one who hates seeing the Peng challenge become a caring home for senile incontinents , fly-boy wannabee's & Australians...

    Where is the HE, the vodka, the morphine?

    The Nidan1 inspired ‘charge of the light brigade’ tactics?

    Where are the foul mouthed insults & proclamations of tactical excellence*?

    Where are stickypiss's boyish cheers as he celebrates destroying a few T-26’s?

    Where are the experienced veterans gently mocking the naive tactics of their young?

    Instead we get...

    “My A4-pegasus is lost in a tail induced radical spin what do I do?”

    or

    “I can’t hit a Messerschmitt Mk. IX with my 22 machine guns, what am I doing wrong?”

    I suppose I despair when I see the ‘ Peng challenge’ being dismantled by the very people who say that they are trying to preserve it in its natural state…

    * A great example would be “despite the incredible weight & depth of my enemies attack I realised it was unimaginative in its conception I therefore decided to launch a local spoiling attack. All awhile my forces defended bitterly first with machine guns & then with rifles, and when they were spent with pistols & grenades, then they hurled rocks & the still hot recovered shrapnel at the enemy, then they fought hand to hand with spades, knifes & rifle butts, then they fought with teeth & fists & broken limbs. Through this bravery they bought me time enough to launch my attack. The enemy automatons began to panic as they realized they’d been outwitted once again. The enemy broke & my staunch defenders cheered my name”.

    nowadays we get bland introductions to the stickers on dalems monitor…

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    It Don't Mean a Thing if it Ain't Got That Peng -- Challenge, that is . . .

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Well lookee what we have here?

    Have all the Cesspoolers gone ‘up in the air’?

    Had enough of the ‘hard grind’ have we?

    Is it not ‘interesting’ enough anymore for you & your buddies to march bravely through a hail of lead, pour like lava into your enemies defences & wallow in the warm entrails of your former opponents?

    No! Now we’ve got us a bunch of wannabee fly-boys, all golden hair, clean teeth, fine liquor, smart leather jackets, plump pillows & easy ladies…

    Perhaps this shouldn’t be called the ‘ Peng challenge’ any more?

    Perhaps it should be called ‘pie in the sky’?

    We could replace the challenges with the dialogue you’d expect to hear from people deprived of adequate oxygen...

    “Hey ‘Hard Goose’ I’m on your tail, my six is high & a 109 is burning down on me”

    “Okay ‘Maverick’ I’ll cover your four fingers but watch out for Jerry's ack-ack”

    Worse it is our own 'supposed' Justicar who started all of this aerial nonsense…

    At least you’re all not singing too much…

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    It Don't Mean a Thing if it Ain't Got That Peng -- Challenge, that is . . .

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    In yet another example of the continuing happiness & ‘substance’ that I bring to the Peng challenge I announce I’ve created a scenario for you all to enjoy*…

    http://the-proving-grounds.com/scenario_details.html?command=search&db=scenarios.db&eqskudatarq=595

    It’s totally unrealistic, it’s ridiculous, it’s probably insulting, it’s kind of like Nidan1 but as a scenario…

    *And if you don't enjoy it, I kind of win anyway.

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    It Don't Mean a Thing if it Ain't Got That Peng -- Challenge, that is . . .

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by stikkypixie:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Moraine Sedai:

    hmmm...I wonder why someone would find the need to count the LEGS on thousands of fruit flies.

    Just count the fruit flies and multiply by six.

    *shrugs*

    Some people are just soooo daft.

    By the way...I've got a dozen or so drowned ones you can add to your collection there if you'd like.

    I don't think this is wise, the lad is still overcome with excitement and the challenge of multiplying might be just too much. </font>
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    It Don't Mean a Thing if it Ain't Got That Peng -- Challenge, that is . . .

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

    Young 37mm ... PLEASE don't be rummaging around your liege lords closet. It's bad enough when HE dons that getup for his visits to those ... ahem ... Social Clubs he frequents, not that there's anything wrong ... no, no there IS something wrong with it, especially the clubs HE frequents. As to the riding crop, put it down lad, trust me, you don't know where that's been. Have you had your shots lately?

    Joe [/qb]

    37mm takes off his squires uniform, mumbles something about ‘ senile spoilsports', puts back on his lab coat & starts counting the legs of thousands of unconscious fruit flies…
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    Does anyone have stats for this vehicle :)

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

    No, actually the answer is quite simple. After the first half-dozen preproduction prototypes were manufactured, someone noticed that they were too big to pass through the railway tunnels of Europe.

    Michael [/QB]

    Ah yes I heard that was why the 'SdKfz 981 panzerkampffußgänger 1' wasn't built in larger numbers but what about the KwK/99 proton blasters?

    Surely they could have been used in a smaller PAK version or perhaps a Marder?

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    It Don't Mean a Thing if it Ain't Got That Peng -- Challenge, that is . . .

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    37mm enters the stage resplendent is his new ‘squire’ uniform… its all shiny & buttony, got nice golden lappets, accessorised with a chest full of metals* , it includes more leather than rleete has in his basement/dungeon and I also have a riding crop which I can use to hit inferior sorts like… well pretty much anyone.

    Everyone not only realises they should be nice & respectful to such an ascendant individual but they are actually awed by such obvious brilliance, many call out… “He is the messiah!”

    Despite his outward look of strength & confidence he realises (being a humble & wise man who knows his limitations, unlike Joe who really does believe all the nonsense he utters) he still has a few things to learn…

    In a bold & commanding voice 37mm demands to know…

    “Who here can make a Peng Challenge title & are they any restrictions on Australians starting them?”

    • including a couple of ‘I kick butt’ crosses- all first class, a ‘medal of incredible honour- much better than the bog standard ‘medal of honour’ which any cretin could get’, two purple hearts & three green hearts (only awarded to those who suffer incredible injuries, ignore them, gut out their opponents & then, so as not to strain the medical corps, heal themselves), the AT-gunner metal, sharpshooter medal, stone-age weapon usage medal, the ‘excellence in the art of chainsaw wielding’ medal, the pyro medal (awarded for extraordinarily original usage of ampulomets or/and flamethrowers), the ‘top bloke’ medal, the morale medal (awarded for improving the morale of lesser sorts with my hilarious wit), the hand to hand combat medal, the ‘art of combat cooking’ medal (awarded for feeding my men on the bodies of the fallen enemy), the ‘mighty liver medal’ (awarded for my sobriety even after many nights of heavy drinking most unlike stickypiss who starts embarrassingly flirting with Nidan whenever he’s had a shandy too many), a variety of medals from countries who respect my services (including strangely enough a ‘please don’t nuke us medal’ from Tasmania) and a whole bunch of miscellaneous medals that I don’t ever remember being awarded (when was I declared ‘master of the tree’s of Kentucky’ or ‘Lord of the seas around Ireland’?)...

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    Peng Challenges the Hedgehog

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by Slapdragon's Ghost:

    Have you ever read anything & afterwards just wished somebody would blow your brains out with a 0.5 HMG?

    You think back to yourself (as you cut up yet another frozen mouse nervous system) why? How did it get like this? Why didn’t I just emigrate to Australia & spend the rest of my days in an ethanol induced coma like the rest of that ‘countries’ occupants?

    You remember having to measure out exact quantities of carcinogenic toxins with minimal protection, you remember an alternative life, you remember being a famous tank commander of the Red Army, you remember nights sat staring into space…

    You remember a time when for awhile companionship looked like it may work where other things had failed but in the end it never work out, the inevitable “we need to talk...” came along …

    And then sheer desperation tinged with panic sets in & all is bad in the world & for the love of god you decide to do it… you join what you know you shouldn’t join, but you can’t help yourself; you join the Peng challenge .

    You try as with all the other things to make it work, you order fanatical but freezing Romanians to hold off against the bloodthirsty Ivan hordes of stickypiss .

    You spend your spare time breaking apart Boo ’s supposedly ‘impenetrable’ defenses with (like manna from heaven) intense artillery bombardments.

    You also casually rip to pieces the armored car force of Nidan1 safe in the knowledge that the only thing that he’ll surprise you with is ever more ingenious methods to look stupid.

    And all the while you put up with the ridiculous senile dribble of ‘ the world greatest Texan' , the vile & terrifying verses of dalem , the absolutely shocking insight into the legal system provided by MrSpkr , the pointlessness of lars ….

    But you know what?

    Its still okay… sort of.

    Like the production of sewage it’s predictable, there is a sort of warmth provided by knowing exactly what is going to happen all the time .

    But then you came along 'Slapdragon' & ruined the mirage.

    You say you want to integrate me into this filth, the fact that I retch most days thinking about it seems not to cross your mind.

    The laughable idea that I would need your ‘help’ to integrate here when, let’s face it, discarded vegetable peelings would probably get along really well here (heck looking around the place they’d probably make a fair decent knight) leaves me shocked.

    The painful attempt at humor, the childish use of the ‘word’ skell, the hideous realization that I’m communicating with someone so delusional they’ve called themselves a ‘professor’, its all getting to be too much.

    I don’t know how much more of this I can take…

    [ November 04, 2004, 08:52 AM: Message edited by: 37mm ]

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    Peng Challenges the Hedgehog

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by Slapdragon's Ghost:

    By the way, this 37mm poltroon seems like a turkey to me. If someone defeats this porkbelly in two CM matches of Noba's design (for example all jeeps with 50 cals, or ATRs and landmines, or something else historically accurate) then I will place, in my sigline, their name and their choice of embaressing comments for the next sixty days. However, if this worthy looses to this skell, then I insist they place my name and a suitably cranky comment in their sigline.

    Anyone up for the challenge?

    I don’t even now what this is?

    Is it a challenge to me?

    A challenge to those who are brave enough to take me on?

    Are you setting up a ‘best of three’ tournament between me & someone else?

    Why do you care if I win or lose?

    Who are you?

    What are you?

    Why are you?

    How about this for a challenge?

    If anybody here can find two sentences* written by this jerk that doesn’t make him sound like a total stool sandwich then I will personally change my sig line for two whole days to something of my pleasing!

    *check out his recent posts they are hilarious

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    Peng Challenges the Hedgehog

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by Seanachai:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by 37mm:

    I want to be a Baron at the very least… the promotion system here is ridiculously frustrating.

    This place just isn’t meritocratic enough.

    In any 'Meritocracy', any rank of merit is soon up for sale.

    There is only one 'rank' here: Knight. Any title of standing is an illusion. The 'Olde Ones' aren't a standing, they're a state of being. The Seniour Knights are simply 'the forefathers' of contemporary idiocy. There are offices held, whose duties are often vague, bizarre, or completely insane. They are held by Knights.

    SSNs are simply tourists. Serfs are tourists who decide they like life on the shores of the Cesspool. Squires are Serfs willing to go swimming. Knights are Squires who've learned how to maneuver a boat. </font>

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    Peng Challenges the Hedgehog

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by Tim The Enchanter:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Seanachai:

    I, as an Olde One of the Peng Challenge Thread, do herein declare that Tim the Enchanter is not Gaylord Focker!

    Correct. He wants to be Gaylord Focker. Now that, is truly pathetic </font>
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    Peng Challenges the Hedgehog

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Originally posted by Boo Radley:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

    </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley:

    Hey, Shaw. I put 37mm in for Serf. You got any comment on that?

    Serf, Smurf ... hmmmm, Smurf ... big deal, I still make the determination of when OR IF he'll be raised to Squire.

    It's a sad day when a member of the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread would use his office to thumb his nose at his Justicar rather than safeguard the sanctity of the Peng Challenge Thread.

    I blame it on ... well YOU I suppose.

    Joe </font>

    0

    What do we want in the new CM game, Part Deux!

    in Combat Mission: Afrika Korps

    Posted

    Varying degrees of sound contact & more information from them… (I here 6-12 rifles in that wood so I presumably face a squad).

    Forests & woods that actually hide infantry, I don’t want to be able to see troops wandering around hundreds of metres inside a dense forest.

    Perhaps flash contacts or advanced sound contacts will tell you where in a wood incoming fire is coming from without revealing the exact location of the enemy & his current actions (Oh look those troops in foxholes, three hundred metres away in that forest are sneaking away now).

    [ October 30, 2004, 10:24 AM: Message edited by: 37mm ]

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