Jim Boggs

My dear Boocephous : Your sense of honor is....(okay forget that)... Your sense of pride......(nope)....... Your sense....(Damn!)....... Never mind!

"Rampart Base this is Squad 51, we've got a gunshot wound to the head, severe bleeding, but incredibly, all vital signs are reading normal" "51, this is Rampart, start an IV, D5W, Ringers Lactate, and transport immediately. Do you have an identity of the patient?" "According to his ID his name is Soddball." "51, this is Rampart, discontinue IV's and return to base." "What!, But what about the patient?" "That's Soddball, if he has a gunshot wound to the head, no vital organs have been affected. Leave a six-pack of cheap beer and he'll be fine, when he wakes up." "Roger Rampart, Squad 51 returning to base, out."

I think we ought to have stickies for important threads........... [Edit]-Wow! That was quick! [ March 31, 2003, 11:36 PM: Message edited by: Jim Boggs ]

As an apparent newbie to the great Art of the Duel , I will discuss briefly the proper etiquette and procedures. 1. You are the Carpetbagging Yankee Dog therefore you are allowed to select any set-up and side that you desire. You may QB, you may Rune , you may create your own disaster: It Does Not Matter 2. Send your (horrible piece of Tripe) set-up to my e-mail address which is proudly displayed in le profile du moi 3.Now this is the easy part. After a few turns of moving to contact, the battle will start. Every turn you will have fewer and fewer units that you have to give orders to. Soon you won't have to give any orders and won't even have to send a turn. Well it don't get no easier than that.

Now Wait One Minute!!! Whose decision was it to make Soddball's thread: Important I can read an icon legend, and sure Soddball is an icon legend. But let's think about what we're doing here people. This means that we will no longer be able to bask in the brilliant and creative postings that were made to keep the good ship afloat as it were. This is indeed a sad day for this Forum. Human ingenuity and resourcefulness have been replaced by the steady efficiency of technology.

While Joe's away digging thru the archives, let us continue playing: Who's the Idiot? No names please, this entry comes to us from a Spats salesman from Akron, Ohio. The audience erupts with "BOOOOOOO!" Okay settle down. And now in his own words: "Have you ever had all your troops lined up, just out of sight, all ready to make that push across open ground and you're waiting for your arty to lay down a nice thick smoke screen? Then you discover that you hit "T" instead of "K" and start shelling your own men?" Okay, no more hints: Who's the Idiot? [ March 31, 2003, 02:49 PM: Message edited by: Jim Boggs ]

***Huge Applause**** The crowd is shouting "Author!, Author!" The applause begins to die down and then from the back begins a new chant: "Encore!, Encore!"

My dear Gaylord, Such an unexpected riposte. Now then can you spell: S-u-p-e-r B-o-w-l C-h-a-m-p-i-o-n Serf Jim Boggs (Spelt, not Bolded) Serf Wuss (Heard, not Seen) [ March 30, 2003, 04:00 PM: Message edited by: Jim Boggs ]

I would refer you to the musical musings of a great artist of my day: John Lennon: Imagine Now in order to keep things all legal and above board I will fulfill my AAR responsibility: Boggs Vs Lars -Engaged in a sweet little nugget designed by the ever devious Rune called, not surprisingly, "Cossack Carnage" The Melancholy Dane serving in the role of "Cossack" (see above). I sent him a turn a mere Two Days Ago. Apparently it has completely unnerved him. Boggs vs Noba -Interesting little bit of larceny foisted upon me. The ever vigilant (as in still looking for a win) Noba has agreed to command an SS Panzer Battalion and has allowed me the honor of commanding a Troupe from the Bolshoi Ballet Company . At present, he is still trying to get his Tigers lined up in a straight line. The size of the map may preclude this from happening. Serf Jim Boggs (Spelt, not Bolded) Serf Wuss (Heard, not Seen)

1.Serf Jim Boggs (Spelt, but not Bolded). 2.Serf Wuss (Heard, but not Seen). Many thanks to the Dear Lady for the honorific title that you have bestown on this unworthy one. I will wear it with head held high. You may feel free to imagine what that would look like.

My dear Lady Persephone : In my long journey through life, I have been manipulated by women more times than I can count(22). If the avoidance of contributing to my own doom is considered being a wuss, then it is a small price to pay for the "peace of mind" that I have attained in forever keeping any picture, likeness, or reasonable facsimile of myself from getting into your feminine grasp. You have demonstrated that you will stoop to any viable bit of female chicanery in order to accomplish your goals. You have tried the inevitable feminine classic defense with the poor, frustrated Justicar , crying crocodile tears of sorrow and compassion. Then before the mascara can even begin to run, you turn upon the one true innocent (Jim Boggs) and unload a vehement tirade of insults and name-calling, without so much as catching your breath in between. The thought of my head ending up atop whatever strikes your fancy sends cold chills down my back.

Boggs looks to the heavens and says a silent prayer of thanks. He had come that close to sending a picture to Persephone. Whipping out his trusty Zippo , he quickly ignites all the known pictures of Boggs that exist. [Edit]-Note to Gaylord: A Zippo is a lighter. I wouldn't want your fertile brain misconstruing my words. Anyone who would celebrate Christmas in June bears watching. [ March 30, 2003, 12:35 PM: Message edited by: Jim Boggs ]

Oh, I'm sorry, that sounded like one of your turns arriving. But then that would require you to actually send a turn wouldn't it?

Spike: Do you have a relative named john_j_rambo who posts on the Strategic Command Board? Deja Vu! [ March 29, 2003, 08:54 PM: Message edited by: Jim Boggs ]

Very well then, it must have been the Aussie accent that caused the confusion. Along those lines I was able to turn up the transcript of the recent Australian Rules-Debating Finals Moderator: Welcome to the All-Aussie Debating Finals. Our two contestants are AJ and Noba , both have advanced this far due to their incredible vocabulary and presentation skills (ie, lack of competition). Our topic for this debate will be: Einstein's Theory of Relativity and its Application to Modern Nuclear Research Noba you have won the draw and may make your opening statement. Noba: Right then...uh....okay...Can I get a bit of ale to wet me whistle?...Thanks lad..... Now I think....OUCH!...Why does it always hurt so bad to think. Moderator: Very nice and now AJ it is your turn to rebut. AJ: Hold on, that wasn't very nice! I think my butt is just fine thank you, no need to replace it. Moderator: Gentlemen(?), please can we discuss the topic? Noba , back to you. Noba: Crikey, me head's killin me....I feel all dizzy....Must concentrate....Uh..What was the question? Moderator:..*shakes head*..Well then AJ have you any reply? AJ: Actually, if you have seen my picture, you would realize that I have a fine butt, although I will admit that the kilt did not accentuate it's fine lines. Moderator: PLEASE, can we get back on Topic! Very well then, let us skip directly to your closing arguments. Noba? Noba: I've got a lovely bunch of cocoanuts. AJ: Bring me a mirror, I must get to the bottom of your accusation. In Australia, we take the expression "Down Under" very seriously. Moderator: Well there you have it, and now the judges' decision. Judge Mace: I thought there was supposed to be sheep involved. Who are these blokes and what ARE they babbling on about? Moderator: Can you please "just pick a winner"! Judge Mace: Very well then...*digs forefinger deep into sinus cavity, produces 5.5 lbs (2.5kg) of secretious material*....There ya go, a winner if I ever saw one.

Oh this is quite lovely! I suppose this is "Australian Rules Debauchery"? At least you had the decency to omit the details of your "encounter" with AJ in the back seat of your Subaru. Sometimes I think that Sir konrad is the only one around who has any sense of honor and decency. While awaiting your next turn, I believe I shall investigate other items that have been corrupted and brutalized by the "Australian Rules" version. [ March 29, 2003, 08:47 AM: Message edited by: Jim Boggs ]

Where's Lars with another case of his finest....hello!..could it be Noba's dastardly set-up has completed downloading? Let's just see what he's cooked up .....hmmm...okay he's the attacker with an SS Panzer Battalion, no problem, open terrain, couple of trees... okay, let's see what I've got to work with.. A Russian Mobile Bordelo Company? What is UP with THAT? Order of Battle: 12 X Harlots 15 X Wenches 10 X Floozies 3 X Madams (HQ) 3 X Sheep Carts (Australian Lend Lease) 15 X Mattresses WHOA!!! Nice Mods!! Who did this....wait a minute... Noba.. all that Porn on your computer is starting to spill over into your CMBB files. Good God man, clean this mess up and send a REAL set-up. I'll keep this one, just to teach you a lesson. Who did these Mods by the way?

I see, sir, that you are in need of a lesson in manners. While awaiting my turbocharged 56k to sort through this garbled mess you have most "graciously" provided, I will attempt to educate you on the gentlemanly rules of Dueling . We have a great tradition of duels here in the South and especially Florida . (By the way Denise Richards is an example of duals not duels. ). First -You have made the challenge, therefore any work that is required to "put things together" is yours to accomplish. Second -My responsibility is twofold: 1. Kick your Aussie Heinie back to Berlin (to wit: Barbarossa to Berlin) 2. Do it with style and panache to cast further humiliation upon you. Now, hopefully that matter is settled and I can return to this download of yours. Hmmmm........only 47 minutes remaining, think I'll have a nice Danish Ale

Sir konrad I have that same problem with Nachos

Uh...I bought AH Squad Leader from the used bin for $5 and on this one I WAS THE NUMBSKULL!!!!!

Come and listen to my story bout a man named Steve Poor lawyer type, had nothin up his sleeve The one day he was shootin at some food when up from the ground came a bubblin crude Oil that is, Black Gold, Okie Tea Well the first thing ya know ole Steve's a millionaire Kin folk said, Steve, move away from here said the Big City is the place you oughta be So he loaded up the truck and moved to Muskogee Oklahoma that is, indoor plumbing, runnin water Episode One-Steve is introduced to the complex world of "flush toilets".

Scum Baggs finally reined in his exhausted steed. His escape had been miraculous and now he was free again to ply his evil trade. He dismounted and walked up to a large sign: Welcome to Oklahoma Then he remembered, the law was GONE! There was no one left to defend the honor of this "Land Where the Wind Never Sets". An evil laugh resounded thru the countryside and small animals and birds stirred up quite a ruckus in their frantic attempts to get away. "Oklahoma...my NEW homa...HAHAHAHAHAH!!!"

Ah, my dear Paddock Groupie. Arise and feel no more guilt. Your crime was but a Love of the Thread and for that there can be no punishment greater than to actually have to remain here and post. You are quite forgiven. In honor of your gifts, I have sent this One Sentence to my friend at the Submarine School and he says it will be a great way to test the lung capacity of his students. All they have to do is say it in one breath. Kindest Regards, Jim Boggs

"Off with his head!!" "Killing's too good for the lowlife!" "Spare the ax, spoil the child!" Gym Baggs was naturally very concerned. It's not very often one finds one's head on the "Chopping Block". He racked his brain, which did not take long, but could come up with no reason for this reaction. Sure the lady was married, but tar and feathers was his usual fare. This was, to say the least, a bit extreme. At last the executioner approached, hefting the long two-handed battle-axe (Speed-2, Pierce +5, Impact +6) and began sizing up his task. Suddenly from the crowd, an angry voice, "Here, get out of the way, you idiots. Fools all of you. Stop the execution! You have the wrong man!" Stepping forward, the Earl of Coventry himself. Cowering in front was a pitiful creature, who groveled at the feet of the Earl. "You fools, release Gym Baggs, here is the real culprit". It was none other than the famous bandit: Scum Baggs [ March 27, 2003, 12:22 AM: Message edited by: Jim Boggs ]

You can call me a Floridiot, no problem. You can question my mental capacity, no problem You can ridicule, besmirch, and insult, no problem BUT: If I'm told that I am "disruptive to the thread". That I am "the reason the old timers no longer post here". That "the thread has deteriorated due to (my & others) presence". That is my achilles heel. This Thread and the People who have made it. Bless you all for your kind words, I realize this will be the LAST time that will happen. So now let us move on and make me regret the first three lines of this post.