Patchy

Everything makes me look fat!

I would like some butter pecan frozen custard.

I'm here. Do I count?

There is nothing wrong with swirling clotted cream and jam on a hot scone. Yum!

Oooga Boooga!

Hey! I ate some of that stew!

I don't remember the fava beans. I do remember the silverware dump. It was a Joe classic. His apartment wasn't a hell hole, but he did have odd things around the apartment. And a container on his desk that he said held a tooth. I didn't open it to see for myself. He also had a jackalope. And a bowl with bones. and a chain saw carved eagle. Also a huge piggy bank.

THROUGH THE ROOF 'N' UNDERGROUND When there is trap set up for you In every corner of this town And so you learn the only way to go is underground When there's a trap set up for you In every corner of your room And so you learn the only way to go is through the roof Ooh, through the roof... Underground And as we're crossing border after border We realize that difference is none It's underdogzoo, and if you want it You always have to make your own fun And as the upper dog leisurely sighing The local cultures are dying and dying The programmed robots are buying and buying And our secluded freaks, they are still trying, trying Ooh, through the roof... Underground Ooh, through the roof... And underground And as the boy scouts learn to read between the lines The silver rabbits hop between their fathers' lies And boy scouts ask, "Pa? Where do they go?" They go to the country that they only know Just like their meanings they lay between the lines Between the borders their real countries hide The strategies saw their advertise Their strategy of being is one of in-your-face disguise Ooh, through the roof... Underground And when their own walls they will a-crumble And all the systems will be discombobbled Around the stump of bigotry Serebrjanniye zaitzy tam vodjay chorovod! Ooh, through the roof... Underground Serebrjanniye zaitzy tam vodjay chorovod! Ooh, through the roof... Underground! Gogol Bordello

Gnomey, Leonard Cohen will be in Chicago on May 5. I'll have to go see that concert. Thanks for the concert tip. I don't want to have a Gnome wake. It's almost spring and the plants will start growing and everyone garden needs a Gnome. And I don't want to cry.

We call it "pop" too. When I was a kid I was taught the song as: 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, if one of those bottles should happen to fall, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. So it was still beer, but nobody drank it.

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, Take one down, pass it around 98 bottles of beer on the wall...

Muahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

*Gives the Donkey a thistle and a jar of Marmite.*

Happy New Year!

Besides wanting more Small Emma and Smaller Nora stories...I also want more stories of how a small Gnome survives the brutal winters of Minnesota. The Latin song translation was funny too. I'm not on Facebook. If I was on it, I would probably be ignored too.

I had a Hitchcockian experience early this morning. I went to work when it was still dark outside. I was walking from the parking garage and I heard this loud sound of lots of flapping wings. I turned around and looked at the park across the street. There was a swarm of crows flying in the sky above the park and they all landed in a tree. That gave me the heebee jeebees. And the crows were still in the tree when I walked back to the garage after work. No vultures though.

I agree. That Iraqi reporter is my hero.

I think vultures are cute in an ugly sort of way.

This has to be Lars... Man sprays 'toilet-papering' teens with fox urine WILLMAR, Minn. — A 50-year-old man told authorities he was fed up with teens toilet-papering his house during homecoming week. This year, he decided to defend his property — with a squirt gun filled with fox urine. Now, Scott Wagar is in trouble with the law. He pleaded not guilty on Wednesday in Kandiyohi County District Court to misdemeanor assault and other charges. He was released on personal recognizance. According to police, on Sept. 16, Wagar used night vision goggles and saw 15-20 people running toward his place. He told them to leave and sprayed them with the fox urine. He also struggled with one teen who he says grabbed him from behind. In an interview with The Associated Press on Thursday, Wagar says he's innocent, and has a right to defend his property. He says groups of teens have been toilet-papering and egging his house during homecoming for about eight years, and each year it gets more destructive. He says he sprayed the kids with a mixture of one-third fox urine and two-thirds water because "it stinks, but it doesn't hurt anything." ___ Information from: West Central Tribune, http://www.wctrib.com

Übergnome, that was a funny Dalem story. It tops Joe and the silverware drawer. I hope you are feeling better.

Jingle bells Jingle bells Jingle all the way...

No, I watched it on TV.

Yep! And he is going to make his acceptance speech soon in Chicago.