Yeknodathon

[various grunting and strained *honking* noises from behind the shrub as if something was being forcibly moved]

[practices birthing positions behind a shrub]

... he wanted to kiss, I resisted and then he captured me with his Canuck charms, oozing hatred and groggy mutterings. You will be careful...? [swings huge body to the side while peering backwards] ... I'm feeling frail and hormonal.

.... I wont say It was Dorosh

*makes the negligee billow with the turn of a hidden tail* Slinky and expectant.

*stands in the paddock sporting a comfortable negligee* I just wanted to say that I'm feeling rather... [rustles the hem] ... slinky.

HindenBoo

[ponders the preceding posts with grave solemnity] *snort* I suppose its not likely to get much better than this?

[deftly waves a sink plunger from the side of a tight-lipped snout while spying the Justicar] Particles, particles... *sniff*... particles

[deftly waves a sink plunger from the side of a tight-lipped snout while spying the Justicar] Particles, particles... *sniff*... particles

... artificial insemination, never really understood it...

... artificial insemination, never really understood it...

[... sloly plods down to the edge of paddock pond for some submerged duck recreational snorkeling] I see ya donkey shakin that ass Shakin that ass Shakin that ass

[... sloly plods down to the edge of paddock pond for some submerged duck recreational snorkeling] I see ya donkey shakin that ass Shakin that ass Shakin that ass

[thinks a bit while spotting a duck making slow progress across the paddock pond into a headwind] ... I just wanted to say that I'd often thought of throwing me undergarments at yer in fits of hysterical adoration... [thinks some more...] ... but I'm already naked. Which is just as well, I say. [thinking...] So that just leaves the hysteria. Ahem... *honk*

[thinks a bit while spotting a duck making slow progress across the paddock pond into a headwind] ... I just wanted to say that I'd often thought of throwing me undergarments at yer in fits of hysterical adoration... [thinks some more...] ... but I'm already naked. Which is just as well, I say. [thinking...] So that just leaves the hysteria. Ahem... *honk*

You goosestep with a limp?

You goosestep with a limp?

[... and as the swinging mallet of time smashes into the cold chisel handle of eternity to gouge the deep scratch of fate, something grey and heavy is casually leafing through the Scandinavian edition of Lawyers Monthly] dum-de-dum-de-daa... *sniff*... [stops, tapping the advert section with a knowing hoof] Luther Vandross...

[presses snout against the picture for a thorough examination] *hooooooooooooooooJJRumbothatfreakinLegendoooonnnnnnnnnnnnk?*

Radley Jam

[tail convulses in a sudden twitch] Boo Boggs

[rustling from behind a particularly thick paddock bush interspersed with intermittant jingle-jangle chain noises... suggesting activities appertaining to bizzare fetish activities involving rubber gnomes... or even more]

"Notice that Gnome?" "No, its too small" "Good"

[thinks with the immense power of a bored herbivore] I suppose this means he's a hippy scientologist? Pathetic.