Yeknodathon

Indeed I am. Please donate several of you Venusian local currency to my PayPal account to fund my site's monthly target and sign-up to my growing YouTube subscriber base. I will take great comfort in the knowledge that you will visit it very often. There you will find lots of Google adds specifically targeting past search criteria should you become a little bit wrapped up with the mind-boggling content you may see there and, as I find, it only takes a glance to come crashing back to reality. This is a free service I provide. I thank you for your consideration and look forward to being right all the time. I appreciate your assistance in this matter as it maintains a state of psychological equilibrium which is hard to balance. Besides, I get a lot of attention disseminating all kinds of.. stuff that is beyond common belief. Please visit the PADDOCK online store for various self-published books, mugs, t-shirts, plastic pen carrots. You will find something for every occasion. Yes, I am right - I wanted to remind myself in case I forgot. You are right a little bit, but not as much as me. If not, I can't really imagine what might happen.

Both the NKVD and SMERSH regarded any ice cream as a degenerative bourgeoisie frozen product. I have seen no 5-year plans for ice cream production! Go figure! I think JonS, eminent Grog that you are, that you are straying from your area of expertise and introducing error! Cite me any Affidavit or History Channel episode? No, none! The Soviets weren't into ice cream at all and if they were it would be proletarian bland ice cream and why have ice cream when there the gulags were in the middle of rather large expanses of permafrost? Ice cream really isn't in the mindset of Ivan when he's standing on readily available tundra gellato on trans-Continental scales. Think blinis and salt-cured fish-eggs of the Acipenseridae family; you're not going to get that served out the hatch of a military truck. Back to the Grog-box you go!

I don't think we should be too hasty here. Okay, we accept SS nuclear capabilities. Okay we accept Opal Blitz deployment with Nazi black psyops jingle jangle. These are well-known and detailed from several Internet sites detailing this devastating truth. We have Fegelein and his antics obviously crippling Nazi high command cadre abilities to co-ordinate the war effort; although they had massive technological advantage if the Nazi command and control bunkers were stimied dealing with the Fengelein threat and the internal rot this posed then lesser priorities such as the E. Front would ossify with devastating consequences. So the onion is peeled back further and we are forced to cry at the invisible onion vapour truths, revealed one by one. And each revealed layer is harder and more onioner that before. Indeed, "When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth" It is always good to cite Sherlock Holmes as his logic is not disputed and he solved so many documented mysteries when the combined Police infrastructure of the British Isles were left fumbling in the grip of master criminals. Sherlock Holmes ownz Socrates every time. A giant onion-peeler and didn't do hemlock. And the next layer is going to be more onion tear-jerking. Yes. Based on the evidence and deep intelligence sources only known to the Paddock, and at great personal, risk, we must conclude as the History Channel has indicated more than once in countless repeats, sometimes on the same day, the Soviets also had their secret black ops programs that countered the devious Nazi SS menace.

Its a tough choice but Lt Gen doesn't have the Giza power pyramids on his side...

Patch has supplied the answer: quite simply Fegelein and his antics.

That is a quite a compelling Affidavit

Too many of those might cause quite a different kind of detonation...

Yes, with Opal Blitzes like this I'm afraid the allied war on both fronts was doomed from the start. I will immediately send off written letters to all my previous reactionary history teachers and demand they fix or sumfink. WTF, this is disgraceful! Where is my Congressman or local regional SS point of escalation!

Oh, we we were so blind to the obvious! Not any old jingle jangle, but an SS jingle jangle. Die Glocke, a device "made out of a hard, heavy metal" approximately 9 feet wide and 12 to 15 feet high having a shape similar to that of a large bell. According to Cook, this device ostensibly contained two counter-rotating cylinders which would be "filled with a mercury-like substance, violet in color. This metallic liquid was code-named "Xerum 525" and was otherwise cautiously "stored in a tall thin thermos flask a meter high encased in lead" Well, this is another matter altogether. Would an Opal Blitz deploy both these terrible arsenals into the fray?

If its flippin' Fr Christmas I think there will be no shortage of excited, cloying infants who would happily scribble down first-hand accounts of queuing to see Santa at the local mall grotto AND his green elf AND have VBIED been delivered down their chimney by reindeer with obvious names from somewhere east of France. I don't think we can get more prima facie than that?

Well, that's alright then. Very plausible, good work, nicely presented. Carry on.

I was with you up to that point but you stepped over the line into delusional nonsense here - are you saying Fr. Christmas is not at this very moment, with his elven Happy Helpers not planing his Christmas run from his top secret Arctic base and airborne strike reindeer? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus%27s_reindeer

I've just been awarded a Patristic Doctorate in Early Christian Tie Down Giza Pyramids from the highly respected College Shed, University of Paddock. It cost two sprouts and a carrot but I think its worth it because students will flock and heed my words without question. I shall write a paper in two Mars days on Kursk and Things That Go Pop Badly with an interesting book cover picture.

Did this information come from the deepest Intelligence community?

..and not any old ice cream van, oh no, I'd wager, but the latest LSSAH Ausf. H ice cream van. And it won't be dispensing Mr Whippy either! No! Should Ivan Komradski queue at the hatch and request a double-choc chip with hot fudge topping he's going to get a frozen choc-covered cyanide pills and something that wont free easily from the roof of the mouth. What a foul and despicable asymmetric means of waging war!

Psyops JonS those SS Nazis had everything, that little jingle would wipe whole divisions from the battlefield. With that as a spear point... *shudder*

Well JonS, ain't we cookin'? You make a fab point that gets us nearer the truth and I'm just getting so excited because together, in our little alternative history huddle - we shall shine forth and restore.. er.. something. Now, not for me to steal anyone's thunder, or ahem.. VBIED boom, I should think that our Nazi LSSAH Opal truck isn't what it seems? How else can we explain how it trundles along at optimum Opal speeds to the massed ranks of Soviet lines of prepared defence in strength un-molested? May be it was camo-ed? May be it was real stealthy and invisible? May be it was cunningly disguised as an ice cream van and had a little jingle to allow it to pass undetected? As we will be reminded, if we examine and the discount everything then we must really have to accept what is left even if it is the most unlikely and surprising things. I need not have to remind you, JonS, eminent Grog that you are, that you should need to prepare to adjust your historical assumptions quite radically? Just a friendly re-direction to get with the program... we appreciate your continuing assistance in this matter.

UNMASK YOURSELF - REPTILOID!

I'm quite ready to concede that LSSAH get the better, more improved tie downs rather the normal Heer tie downs. If we are suggesting they used some secret super tie downs perhaps, I suggest tentatively, taken from alien Reptiloid technology as I should think they are quite advanced in tie down things which we can only but imagine - I think we would require all the data needed for a calm and reasoned analysis of LSSAH tie down capabilities cross-referenced with their starting positions at dawn on that fateful day?

PS I really think we need more info on the LSSAH tie downs used on an Opel Blitz. I contend quite strongly that a tactical nuke bouncing around in the back of a truck would prematurely detonate and cause a quite significant military traffic jam when things were getting interesting in the Kursk area?

Might have evaporated quite a large chunk of LSSAH. Might have left a big hole and created interesting squirrels that glow in the dark, might make particle detectors that measures ionizing radiation spaz out with lots of "click-click-clickcliclickikikikikikikikikikikkkikiikik" noises and, I should think this is the real proof, a whole plethora of Soviet-inspired video FPS games based on the strange evolving life forms from the Kursk area INCLUDING Nazis. And I don't see 'em John. Nope, none. I check Steam every day.

Bet he doesn't have Scunthorpe on his site, but I want to check anyway. Erm, small point - erm, if a Nazi A-bomb VBIED, and I guess these are the nastiest, lowest qwitter kind with nasty smells and wotnot, were to be transported on a truck or halftrack I should think it would bounce around quite a lot and move from side to side when the truck or halftrack goes round corners. I wouldnt want to be the driver, that's for sure. And erm, on delivery, are we quite certain that the truck or halftrack would dash away in time. Yes, I know, small points perhaps but one has to take these things into account with a credible Nazi A-bomb VBIED option?

Hmmm interesting. Was that before or after the full-moon amphibious assault on Scunthorpe by the LSSAH tactical Finnish reinforced special psy-ops recon force?

Quite. I should think that as Tibbles the cat traverses the cat flap for its daily chunks of wet food and saucer of carefully temperature-controlled saucer of bovine udder secretion suddenly becomes aware that various tender fur regions are being ruffled and re-arranged in interesting ways. I should think Tibbles priorities become resorted in fairly short measure.

One can't help but imagine which side of the cat flap the molestation takes place. I suspect both.