Yeknodathon

Spring 1942, Heeresgruppe Nord, unknown location during the Leningrad seige. Melting snow posed no obstacle for a Speiseeiskampfwagen strangely "floating" across the battlefield landscape when other tracked vehicles got stuck or sucked under (see, none, where we expect to see a whole batallion!) in a mud bog tomb of SS Nazi scum-laden sludge that preserved their thrashing limbs as they gasped for air. The Ost front was hell if you didn't have a Speiseeiskampfwagen.

Off-topic, iced dessert vendor at holiday seaside destination. No SS Nazi scum here or their strange acquisition of arcane and advanced weaponry from non-worldly sources that might threaten the planet. Just a normal, seaside view with Joe Public enjoying some churned and chilled bovine udder secretion.

Training started early for Hitler Youth.

I have received information again from my contacts close to some very important documents. I know you can all be trusted. The accepted history is that Rommel was stopped at and then repulsed back from El Alamein thus denying those dirty Deutsches Afrikakorps Nazis (scum withheld because they are a bit more likeable) from taking Egypt, the Suez and vast tracts of real estate they should not have gotten their dirty Nazi hands on. Not so! Gripping and disturbing evidence showing a minty fresh factory standard in Gelbbraun RAL 8000 paint, a totally new model Speiseeiskampfwagen I from Afrika zbV (zur besonderen Verwendung, "special purpose") Division. Nasty. Note the factory catalogue pre-fitted sinister blacked gangster windows option pack. Parked up at the Giza Pyramids as if it owned the place. What devilish sorcery is being hatched here?! What special purpose?! No good, I surmise! We must address our assumptions quite radically.

VolksSpeiseeis thrust into the hands of the old and young; foolish and dangerous if it were not so scummy.

A SturmSpeiseeisgeschütz IV of SS Gebirgs Panzerjäger Battalion 6, 6th SS Mountain Division Nord. It is unknown whether traveling to or from the Arctic circle. They may have worn the Gebirgsjägers' Edelweiß insignia but that just makes them queer mountain-hugging hippie SS scum.

Some fled to S. America and changed their identities but the strange, eerie glow always gave their game away. Towed FlugzeugabwehrSpeiseeisKanone 8.8 (Flak) 37 with potent range and accuracy. What gave up in mobility it doubly regained as an artillery piece of doom.

Thomm's shocking revelation confirms the hellish nemesis of evil at root in that degenerate regime and reminds me to post previous evidence. It is at these moments one has to step back from rational and balanced observation and reasoning. We are all, after all human, and one must step forward from the frightened, cowering ranks who tremble at the truth and fail to acknowledge how small or large the terror is or the shadows it leaves. Personal survival does not matter if we seek eventual triumph. So let me raise an anthem, they are SS Nazi scum. Not any old coffee mug scum left over several weeks, but black, sticky scum, a treacle residue scum that one cannot help but dab with a pinkie to see how it sticks and rolls into scum balls. The sort of scum that stretches. A dross, half sun-dried, slippy, juiciest SS Nazi-type scum that forms a crust and floats as a film on its ocean of Nazi filthiness. And if one should goosestep by I would shout "HEIL, SCUM" and stare them in they eye and not flinch no matter what tricks or antics they may get up to.

Those must be very special engineered tie downs.

Wow! Enhanced imagery of the Martian landscape in the Lunae Palus quadrant as captured by Mars Global Surveyor. Something suspiciously like a Speiseeiskampfwagen and its crew taking a welcome break but not in the uniforms we expect. The erected apparatus is strange, its origin and function unknown. How do they survive the inclement Martian atmosphere without their heads exploding?! Unfair usage - classified

Modern day Hürtgen Forest, an abandoned but believed functional Speiseeiskampfwagen V Ausf. D is recovered. We see here great care taken by the scientists who record every moment. Protective ear wear in case of jingle jangle (but that won't save them), monitoring equipment to detect shifts in magnetic field and heavy Eis leaks and one plucky fellow on the roof watching for rips in the space-time continuum. Its a perilous situation; the hatch is open and the Speiseeiskampfwagen is barely hovering (as found) ready to unleash its Nazi SS scum contents. These brave hunters for the truth certainly have their hands full as they check reality! (fair use)

Mars. Today. Now.

The strange eerie glow from within that foretells diabolical intent. The submarine (awaiting photographic proof) did reach Nippon, the Land of the Rising Sun to disembark its SS scum cargo as the Third Reich began to crumble under the onslaught of the Red Army that swatted tactical nukes away like they were pesky flies from the rump of a Steppe bison. IJA cherry blossom camouflage with the crew's translated slogan jibing "Jungle Refreshment, Surprising Sundae". Something is flashing past at tremendous speed that is literally not of this world.

Nice find! "Have a Nice Day" *shudder*.. their black uniforms matched their black hearts.

The perverted and obsessive scum-like fantasies of the SS went beyond the pale in many ways. Not least in their archaeological predilictions to justify their authority and supremacy through a recorded chronology. One such dig reveals a Medieval Speiseeiskampfwagen. Simple, yet functional with strange, primitive motifs of the era. Proof positive that we are not just dealing with one war, one epoch but something far more larger than we can easily discern that spans across the accepted comfort of our assumptions to something far more troubling...

Wewelsburg, North Rhine-Westphalia (not Guernsey or Jersey) within shouting distance of Nazi scum SS HQ Schloss Wewelsburg, we see one of the Speiseeiskampfwagenn "funnies" in the middle of "Germanic applied research" ("germanische Zweckforschung") next to a bell-shaped tower of extraordinary proportions. The photo captures the moment when, to the left, the very fabric of the universe as we know it has gone a bit bonkers.

High Spring tide. You're looking at the top of mountains.

Himmler's beasts of depravity knew no bounds. Should we ever question the Schutzstaffel's presence at the Arctic we must remind ourselves they reached the Antarctic with devastating impact on the carefully balanced eco-system. Mr Penguin, sniff that KubelSpeiseeiskampfwagen at your peril.

Never seen before and shocking detail of the dark inside workings of a Speiseeiskampfwagen IV Ausf. H. What evil was conducted in such a place? Not hard to imagine the cramped fighting compartment, sweat and grime, the smell of terror, the searing light of radiated enriched heavy Eis shooting forth, the tell-tale battle cry of jingle jangles let loose in rapid bursts, the bins opened and closed; slammed ferocity as the Nazi scum did their work with deadly efficiency, emotionless, focused and totally loyal to their cause. One can just make out the ghastly launch handle and trigger mechanism in the left shadows.

HERASY!! What do you know of these matters!

As promised, from deep intelligence sources, the world's finest scientists on advanced physics, the paranormal and ultra black Nazi SS scum occultism gather to unravel the mysteries of how 311st Leibstandarte SS Adolph Hitler Speiseeiskampfwagen I.Kp.Stbs.Zug Kampfgruppe mysteriously disappeared from the Hürtgen Forest Nov 20 1944 in broad daylight without a trace to reappear on a desolate and withheld location (for global security reasons) Caribbean island in neatly formed ranks. Note how polished and trim they appear with no sign of wear and tear from wartime battlefield conditions. Chillingly spooky, how did they get there?

A truly magnificent find! If the weaponry was deployed at infantry squad level it won't be too long before we see evidence for devices issued to Fallschirmjäger units!

An accidently over-exposed photo of a Speiseeiskampfwagen II in factory standard Dunkelgrau Nr. 46 (dark gray) during night-time operations showing strange orbs being fired from the fighting compartment. This is the first time a jingle jangle has been caught on film; you may hear it, but its damn hard to see it coming. This very rare night scene reveals in all its clarity the strange, eerie occult phenomena as the SS-trained scum open and close the fighting compartment's receptacles that house the enriched Eis.

Proof if it was needed that Waffen SS scum were infiltrating the Kriegsmarine in this stunning aerial recon shot of a capital ship laying in a Norwegian fjord. Built at Kriegsmarinewerft Wilhelmshaven and fitted with dual jingle jangle we normally see it is interesting to spot for the first time Krupp's 38 cm SK C/34 naval jingle jangle.

Behemoth Speiseeiskampfwagen VII "Maus" - a truly spectacular leap in innovation on a terrifying scale of potential colossal carnage.