Dave H

Add the points for flags held plus the points for enemy casualties on the Axis AAR. I can't explain why the Allied AAR has different numbers of men killed and slightly different point totals. I wonder how often that happens. :confused:

Ooooh, are you starting a list of things MasterGoodale (the maggot) doesn't have? I have some to add. Here's my list so far: 1. patience 2. a clue 3. the use of "G" in his Goodale mating call or whatever it is 4. a victory against me 5. a draw against me 6. a chance against me HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

In my best W. C. Fields voice, "Go away kid, you bother me."

Hey maggots, I'm BACK!!!! So I took a week away from this asylum and what happened? As I expected, things fell apart even more. The last thread filled up with unreadable chattering that reminded me of a group of 12 year old white Catholic suburban gangstas at recess. Somebody besides the usual glut of uber-Finns showed up who knows that Axe (that maggot) lives in the deep south. Soddball (that English maggot) has found some other chumps to try his scenarios, while he's busy in his dungeon laboratory creating a freaking 22,000 point obscenity. But you know what really proves that the world has turned upside down? MasterGoodale (the fury maggot), the epitome of the TNT chucking, German hating, non-turn sending, tactics-challenged CMBB player, has WON several games!!! :eek: :eek: Surely the end of times is here. So let's play some CMBB! Here's an update on my current games: J Boggs (the bog maggot) has a flock of black crosses cowering in a patch of woods where my machine gunners can just spray a plethora of lead for the rest of the game. _UXcva (the skipper maggot) is spending most of his time fighting the fearsome seas just off the coast of Milwaukee. In our battle his German armor is denting my heavy Russian armor, but having no serious effects. My guns, which would crush his armor with ease, seem to be having a contest to determine how far off the map they can shoot. His sneaky panzershreck team, however, is being a real thorn in the side of my T-34s, and I mean that literally. GRRR!!! :mad: Paddington (the rainy Finn maggot) is doing something dark and no doubt evil which has nothing to do with CMBB. Meanwhile in our battle my T-34s keep getting bogged by mistakenly driving on the road! Not to mention my other vehicle which has taken 10 minutes to get all the way across a single wheatfield. GRRR!!! :mad: Prinz Eugen (the university student Finn maggot) has shrugged off repeated AT gun hits to his panzer, which then took out my T-34s one-two-three. The real aggravation here is that all three were Abandoned! Green and Conscript crews are really obsessed with self-preservation. The maggots! The Prinz (any relation to Freddie?) is finding my Russian infantry, fighting from the comfort of their luxuriously appointed foxholes, to be a tougher nut to crack. Incidentally, the map we are using is Biltong's beauty with a train station, and is very nice. Last, and certainly least, MasterGoodale (the supreme fury maggot) has begun our 45+ turn, 3,000 point (for me, the defender) assault, with a massive artillery barrage. I don't know where he gets all this artillery - I guess with 4,500 points he can afford to buy a lot. My masterful defensive plans will need some rearranging, but with the Russians several kilometers away I'm sure I have plenty of time. I've actually seen one or two of his Russians, but a little 20 mm fire turned them around in record time! Once I complete a couple of these games, I'll be looking for some untried opponents. Soddball, Snarker, Nevermind, Keke - you are on my list. Not to mention the unmentionable mike_the_wino and Axe, both of whom are up on me one victory to none. The maggots. GRRR!!!

Okay, time to walk away from this degenerating mess. I'll check back in a week or two. I'll get my turns out.

I think it's very obvious that mike_the_wino/mike the wino2 has some serious identity issues. Something like Norman Bates, I expect. [ May 09, 2003, 11:34 AM: Message edited by: Dave H ]

Gentlemen, HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! I can't stand it!! I can't breathe! Let me start over. Maggots, Okay, you want the AI's decision whether there is a winner or loser to be final. That's okay with me. Normally I wouldn't care what any or all of you thought (and I use the word loosely), but I guess I'm just in a good mood because it's Friday. Sorry all of you couldn't be here last night. If you've never had the pleasure of hearing civil defense sirens going off because of a tornado warning, you've really missed out on one of life's little pleasures. Last night would have been a perfect time to get all of you maggots out on the golf course. GRRRR!!! :mad: :mad:

Thank you for that kind introduction. I'd like a clarification on exactly what constitutes a win in these sig line situations. If I score a single point more than my esteemed opponent (the maggot), shouldn't that be considered a Win? It's not a loss. It's certainly not a tie. What else can you call it? Just because the AI has a variety of results it will call a Draw, don't we always get a score in the AAR? If an NBA game ends after two overtimes with the score 143 to 142, is it a Draw? Unless that score is a tie, isn't it pretty obvious that one player earned more points (me), or gamily rigged the battle to squeeze out the deciding couple of points (Axe, mike the wino2, and other nameless foul maggots). :mad: So do we ignore the points completely? Oh, here's another storm. Gotta go. :mad:

By all means try it. Just don't expect to find any kind of historical accuracy. The tactics that might work in a "normal" battle will get you roasted in this one. :mad: Good lord, a junior Gaylord Focker (the maggot)! GRRRR!!! :mad: Death is too good for him. Banish him to the most isolated, out of the way, forsaken piece of ground on Earth. No, not Finland; most reasonable people don't consider Finland to be part of Earth. Send him to CANADA!! Oh, he's already there. Never mind.

Well, this is really nice. A title courtesy of GrandMasterGoodale (the maggot), a whole new thread to fill up with sarcasm and complaining about how slow some people are getting turns back. Not to mention trying to run off some of the uber-Finns who seem to crawl out of the woodwork. Already the first careless passerby has stumbled in and been challenged by Goodale (the maggot). As if there's a chance Goodale would ever send a turn. GRRRR!!!! :mad: :mad: :mad: Okay Goodale (you moldy, ant-infested maggot), if by some accident of fate you win our rematch you get your "G" back. If (when) I win, I'm keeping your "G" and taking your "R" as well. Just think how much faster you'll be able to type.

This sounds like Goodale's definitely getting better. It must be due to the quality of his opponents. Or maybe his ants are helping him.

MasterGoodale, if there's anything that makes you even more obnoxious than losing miserably, it has to be winning. :eek: Not that we've had much experience with this side of you. My problem with our "battle" is figuring out where to defend. I'm not used to having ELEVEN flags to cover! What did you do, add one flag for every toe? With all the points you gave me, I've bought all kinds of exotic stuff that I've never used before, or even seen. Wait until you run into the 1200 points worth of Fortifications you allowed me. You're going to discover this entire end of the map is one giant minefield. It's too bad you have us fighting in the middle of a gigantic woods. I'll probably miss seeing some of the mines going off. But you won't! Looks like most of the TNT my Germans will be chucking will come at you from below ground.

Okay, maggot, so now I get the credit for how you played? I tried to get my German infantry to move under your artillery barrages, but they refused. I left all of my, count 'em, TWO AFVs to sit in front of your T-34s, but my crews KO'd all of your tanks. I fired my 75mm infantry guns in full view of your tanks until I ran out of ammunition. I attacked you across wide-open terrain with one whole battalion of mountain infantry, a platoon of pioneers, a Stug III, and a Pz IV, and the only unit you eliminated was a single two-man flamethrower team. :eek: Sorry, MasterGoodale (maggot), but I must confess that your performance in our battle was beyond my capabilities. I'm hoping to play much better in our rematch. I suppose that means you will, too. Hey, Axe (maggot), what kind of Canadian are you, anyway? I thought everyone in Canada sat around all day, drinking Molson, being pleasantly mellow, and saying, "Have a nice day, eh!" I suspect you're an imposter. You're probably one of those middle eastern terrorists who are all hanging out in Canada waiting to cross the border and max out their credit cards at strip clubs. I've got my eye on you, mister maggot. If you see a black helicopter, just ignore it.

I use a surge protector, maggot! It's great if the storm is 10 miles away and lightning hits a power line. Do you think a surge protector will save my computer from a lightning strike that blows the (melted) metal cover off an outlet? I don't. :mad: :mad: Oh, I forgot, you're from England, where the weather is always perfect and the sun is always shining. Maggot.

Ha, ha. I laughed 'til I stopped. Last time I looked at weather.com, we are supposed to have thunderstorms every day for two weeks. My computer stays off during storms. I've been in a house struck by lightning once, and it fried every appliance plugged in. You don't want me to lose my CMBB CD and all of my CMBB turns, do you? Maggot! GRRRR!!! :mad: :mad:

Jim Boggs (maggot), I didn't have a chance to reply to your e-mail last night. Thunderstorms again, you know. Are you serious about that map we're using? I'm not familiar enough with the Gettysburg battlefield to recognize terrain. I do know that Devil's Den was a very jumbled, overgrown, rocky area with no long sight lines. If my Russians start hearing Rebel Yells, we're going to get nervous. On the other hand, if the Union Army had the kind of firepower we have, the Battle of Gettysburg would have been over in minutes, instead of days. So I recommend that your Germans do a human wave charge at my Russians, and we'll be finished in a couple of turns.

Rob, congratulations to your mother for overcoming this. She's a fighter. I've lost both parents within the last year, and I can only imagine how happy you are feeling. As if her improved health wasn't enough good news for any one individual, to then receive an apology from some little old gnome who haunts the streets of Minneapolis is just icing on the cake.

Take it easy, MasterGoodale (maggot). I think you scared everyone away. Here it is almost 10 hours later and nobody has posted since. By the way, I think your idea for the next thread title shows real promise. Well, my Friday deadlines produced a turn from Paddington and a setup from the maggot Goodale. Given his difficulty with getting turns out at more than a weekly pace, and given that he is challenging everyone who shows his face in this thread, you may think Goodale (maggot) would set up a small battle. Right? WRONG!!! He sends me a setup for not one thousand, not two thousand, but THREE THOUSAND POINTS!! This is with me defending, so he's got about four or five thousand points. :eek: As you can imagine, we'll be playing this battle for the next several years. I'm thinking about one turn per month will be about right. I'm hoping to finish by the time I hit retirement age in 2007. We'll see what happens when the irresistable flood of Russian tanks runs into the immovable wall of German pillboxes with 75 mm AT guns. At least he'll have almost unlimited TNT to chuck (the maggot). Edited because one of the mike the wino clones sneaked in ahead of me. The maggot! [ May 06, 2003, 09:46 PM: Message edited by: Dave H ]

MasterGoodale (maggot), I'm having a tough time this morning deciding which is more annoying: A. When you disappear for weeks at a time, or B. When you refuse to disappear. Glad to see you battled your way through the ants and made it to your computer. I'll be looking for your setup this evening. I expect it to be something like your elite Russian Guards Tank Army assaulting my unfit platoon of conscript Italian cavalry. Probably on a map that makes a tennis court look bumpy. On the bright side, no matter what happens in our battle, I'll look for a loophole to avoid having to do anything! Maggot!

Promises, promises. This thread has become quite upsetting - mold, maggots, mold, ants, mold and now a wannabe bunch of lawyers. Could things sink any lower? Teddy </font>

Okay, Axe (you maggot), here's what you do: Start off by ranting and raving that the basement of your dream home is full of some mysterious mold. Everyone knows that mold causes your body to move more and more slowly, and you forget everything going on in your life. After a couple of months, begin complaining that your dream home is swarming with insects; say, for example, ants. By this time the realtor and the seller will be anxious to see the last of you, and will do anything to be rid of you. It would take someone with an inordinate amount of chutzpa to pull a stunt like that, though.

Oh come on, Axe (maggot), let it out! You'll hurt yourself trying to hold in a belly full of mockery. I'd join in the mocking, but I'm still basking in the glow of coming up with a defense for my sig line that Johnny Cochran (maggot) could only dream of. I feel like Joe Pesci (maggot) in "My Cousin Vinnie". Thanks to all the thread regulars (maggots) who were dazzled by my erudition, my razor sharp logic, and my fancy footwork Goodale (maggot), I'll give you until Friday to get our rematch started, or you'll be without your G's for a long time. Maybe the mold and the ants could do your turns for you. They'd probably be faster, and they'd probably make just as many good moves as you make. Paddington (maggot), our game is about to be cut short for lack of participation. I thought uber-Finns were rough, tough he-men who ate their meat raw and carried German tanks on their backs for the exercise. So how do you explain the lack of turns? You're making MasterGoodale (maggot) look like a speed demon. Friday is the deadline. Prinz Eugen (maggot), can't you take a drive up the coast and slap Paddington (maggot) silly for me? GRRRRR!!! :mad: "LOOK AT ME, MA!! KING OF THE WORLD!!"

Oh yeah, who's the man now, mike_the_wino, you imposter? :cool: :eek:

Okay, Snarker and Soddball (the maggots) have given their opinions on the sig line controversy. These I can easily ignore. Snarker (the maggot), I'd be perfectly content to score 54 points every battle. I may not get big wins, but I'd never lose. With unfortunately few exceptions, the players I have run across for PBEM have been far too strong tactically to give up a lopsided victory. They just haven't made mistakes to hurt themselves. Anyone know where I can find players who consistently do everything wrong, so I can run up some big scores? Back to the subject at hand. Given the current level of compassion exhibited on this thread, I have decided against trying to get you maggots to decide in my favor. Instead, in the proud tradition of American jurisprudence, I've found a technicality to exploit. It is true that I did participate in a game of CMBB, using Soddball's (the maggot) scenario "Inferno". However, the player I played against and lost to was Member #8484, a guy who goes by the name of mike the wino2 (the maggot). This person has not been seen or heard from since February. Now this other player, Member #4873, who goes by mike_the_wino (the maggot), is complaining about my sig line. This is clearly an imposter who had nothing to do with mike the wino2's victory in "Inferno", and has no say in the sig line. GRRRR!!! :mad: Due to the disappearance of mike the wino2 (the maggot; we can only hope foul play was involved), I am under no compunction to change my sig line back.

To clarify mike's vague posting of the scores, that's 46 for mike, and 54 for me! I told the sniveling wuss that since it was a draw, I would not force him to do something that would cause him great mental anguish, like stay sober for a day. However, since the score is clearly in my favor, I felt that I should at least get to relieve myself of the burden of feigning concern for the lack of watering holes in Elk Grove, California. Yet even this minor gesture of good sportsmanship is clearly beyond his reach. It's so sad, so petty, so anal, so - dare I say it - so mike!