Soddball

Hey, Silvio you old tart, that sounds like a familiar game.

Your advice was spot-on, thanks Schrullenhaft. I got a new version of the 4-in-1 drivers (mine were dated 1999!) and an updated modem driver and everything's tickety-boo. I will try newer Nvidia drivers to see if it fixes the CMBO message. At the moment CM is using Sofware Mode on the 3D DirectX test and can't get above 640x480 - every time it tries it puts out a "could not initialise Direct3D" - so I suspect my 1999 Nvidia drivers could also be the problem

Didn't work for me, Silvio - I still lost my damn tanks

Oh, the shame! The ignominnimomonny! I am forced to beg for assistance. My machine: Asus A7V, 512MB RAM, 850 Socket Athlon. 1 30GB HD with Windows ME, 1 25GB HD as data storage(soon to be replaced). Creative GEForce video card, Creative SB Audigy sound card, Realtek 100MB network card, Diamond PCI modem, Conexant USB modem. I'm installing Win2K on my machine on a new HD. 2 Probs occur. 1) I installed CM because I was concerned about graphics quality with my Nvidia graphics card (Creative GEForce Annihilator Pro DDR). No probs with the quality, just a major prob with the resolution. It'll only work in 640x480 and when it tries to set up for a resolution higher than that I get a DirectDraw(?) error. What do I need to install? 2) I can't get either of my modems to get a dial tone. I know they're ok, because they both run fine under WinME. I know the number's ok. It simply tells me there's no dialtone. Oh, and the USB modem hangs all the USB devices when it dials out. Heeeeeelp!

No.

My system runs hot so I leave the case sides off. However, some of the people I've built PC's for don't have that option, so my solution has been twofold. Firstly, I buy large tower cases. They have plenty of room to let air circulate and the thick ribbon cables don't restrict air flow as much. Secondly, I fit case fans (as many as the board and case will take, usually three) and a silver-coated copper heatsink. They're expensive (£25 ($40?)) but worth the investment.

:eek: 14 I'm clearly not trying. Expect comments about penetration for the next fortnight.

Mr Silvio Manuel! Aha! Get thee hence to the Antithicess thread and make thy presence known by taunting, for it is more of thy gamey kind we need. As for Wacky's high-res purple equipment, I shall say no more than to look out for a brilliant new mod at Gustav 109's website. They're not pert, but they're high-res.

Get out of here Wacky, you worthless chimp. You'll frighten the boy with your purple genitals.

In one of my current PBEM's my opponent has bought some 170mm (I think) artillery spotters. He dropped several rounds on one of my platoons who were hiding in woods, killing a large number. One important thing to remember is: keep your units within command radius of their headquarters, but spaced apart enough that a single big artillery hit doesn't wipe out 2/3 of a platoon. Infantry in trees (scattered trees, woods or tall pines) will also suffer from artillery treebursts which are much more devastating).

Nice theory, shame about the spelling. Well, I wish you luck but I think you'll find that playing people is rather different when compared to playing against the computer. Glad to see you can spot irony though - I think there may be a slot for you in our forum after all PS - A little tip: This isn't the place for pointless pomposity. If you want to bellow and beat your chest about how great you are whilst not having to prove it at all, head for the Peng threads. Oh, and I would love to play you, once I've finished a couple of games. My life bleats when it gets absorbed by CM.

Will you promise to tell us how the battle is going? I would really love to learn from an expert like you!

That's the funniest Peng title I've seen in AGES. Looks like competition is finally bringing you guys back to form.

I stand elbow by kneecap with Captain Wacky when I say: We don't need no steenkeeng Pengers. <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Pfffpht! Impudent child! *Slap!* The Peng Thread stands before you all, bathed in its light of purest white, a beacon to the unfed, unwashed masses who gather ravenously at the gate. Cloaked in majestic silken robes and garlanded by orbs of pearl, the elders of the Mother Beautiful Thread impart knowledge and wisdom upon the illiteracy. Shame be upon those who would mock the beings of perfection! More so shame upon those who would seek to imitate the 'thread of threads'. Know ye well, oh spoon-fed Cro-Magnon, that your supplication of life itself is wholly dependent upon the kindliness of the 'Knights of Peng'. You may have your 'APVS shatter theories' You may have your 'Tiger armour brinell tests' You may have your 'Bren gun tripods and their impact on the battle for Wilhelmshaven' But, and let me make this perfectly clear.... "Ich bin ein Penger" and you are not. <hr></blockquote> Damn right we're not Pengers, and what a relief that is. Next week, we'll start a thread based on comical stuff like penetration and hardness and see how long we can keep the immature sniggers from surfacing. No dozy bell-end from that witless puddle of poo called the Peng thread is going to diss the boyz. Or something. Right?

Can I suggest you invest in a replacement keyboard before worrying about playing CM?

See if you can get yourself a gel mouse pad. It's a normal mouse pad with a gel wrist support. Supposed to be very good, our Health & Safety officer at work buys them buy the boxload I've got a Microsoft Intellimouse Explorer and I don't end up with wrist pains since I bought it. Each to their own, though.

If you have a look in Winecape's "Tourney of Stars" you'll see an AAR from John Kettler, who got mashed by Fionn (as everyone seems to) and he goes into some detail. I'd provide the link, but I don't know where to start. Will have a look later.

Anyone care to take bets on how long this cretin lasts? One week or two?

1) Wise and witty commentary, in a meaningful manner. 2) The successful consignment of all the true mental perverts to the Anthithicess thread on the general forum, much to the relief of everyone. That's about it. As for my contribution to CM2. . . Nah.

A lovely idea - bit of a long way for us non-Aymerikan citizens to ship it though?

I second the Hellcat. 55mph and an incredibly fast turret make flanking attacks all too easy.

And Corporal Soddballsky. That has a great ring to it. Something between suicide conscript and mine dog, I think.

Have you thought about monitor, cordless kb/mouse, surround sound speakers, joystick? It's not JUST the box, you know.

I agree - my 'beef' was that if I'm playing as either side and I detect 'light armour' I'd like to know if it's a halftrack or a wheeled vehicle, because that can alter strategy significantly. I think it's not unreasonable to know, because they should sound different. I thought tracks sounded clanky (technical term, I know )

The problem tends not to be hardware, but software - specifically NTFS-based Microsoft products (windows 2000 and xp) and Nvidia video cards - there's other stuff, but these are the main bleaters. Since Microsoft and Nvidia are, shall we say, substantial market players, it's tough to avoid purchasing their stuff (unless you pick a Mac). I'm running an Asus motherboard, an Athlon processor, IBM hard disks and an earlier NVidia video card (GEForce Annihilator Pro) with a Creative Labs Soundblaster Live, all under Windows Millenium. I have no problems with CM or any other games. If you're based in the UK, send me an email because I build PC's and may be able to do you a very good deal. Your profile is frigging useless for telling me where you're from, and not very funny either, btw.