DekeFentle

Did the knighted guano say something? ------------------ Winning is why we play!

Game Update: Berlichtingen: Ol’long of tooth occupies the primary VL and a small scrap may develop over the only other minor one right next door. (I doubt my halftrack will prevail) It would appear that our meeting engagement has turned into an axis attack. Shrug I will not whine (much) I will instead conquer or die well. I am waiting for his signature smoke barrage that I have seen referenced here in order to launch my assault. Agua Perdido: Squire to the “castrated conglomeration of guano who abased himself with kiasu towards The Whuppin' boy has drawn the short end of the stick I use to “scrape the poo-poo off my shoes” (see how ridiculous that looks Leeo?) and is advancing bravely across the “feckin pool table” remind me to tell you a story at the end of this one AP. Hamsters The schizophrenic rodent over-came his brief bout of hysterical neurosis and finally returned a turn. I am not so happily staring at a machine gun bunker, which leaves me to wonder about the mine fields it undoubtedly over-watches. Mmm wonder if I bought engineers for this one… Interesting map though, can’t remember ever having seen this many VL’s. Sharndorf Street, avenue, who gives a damn? Regular patrons know where it is and have a hell of a time reading the damn street signs as they leave anyway. I believe in some past meandering you alluded to the possibility of being open for a TCP/IP game? Please forward RL phone via e-mail and I’ll call at the time you suggest. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play!

Next week I will be winging my way to the frozen tundra of Trenton Canada with a scheduled return of early Friday morning. Hence my unavailability for the beginning of that week. I would consider tomorrow but your stated aversion to Fridays interferes with that. Our "Men Who Love Young Boys" club meeting is on the first Wed. of the month you dolt! Incidentally I have been informed, in my capacity as treasurer, that we can not accept your offer of lifetime dues payment. Although we like such enthusiastic adore from our new “Young Boys” I am afraid you will just have to pay once a year like everyone else. Kieran's Irish Pub is located on the intersection of 2nd Street South and 4th Avenue. Just ask the bus driver to let you know when the stop comes up. 17:00 is indeed 5:00 PM. I will forego stepping through that wide open door as it is too easy and obvious. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play!

Hamsters Seems to have forgotten he even has a game going with me. Check your e-mail you degenerate, decomposing rodent. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play!

I seem to have referenced a Hamsters made calendar. Based on Sharndorfs standing Friday night orders (washing your hair or playing with mother thumb and her four sisters?) how about Tuesday the 27th 17:00? When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play!

Seanitchy & Shandork Am I to understand that you two viscous spewing simpletons require a weekend date? As a daily visitor to this puss engorged sorry-arsed excuse for a city, I had put forth I am sure, terms for my purchase of beverage and edibles as any time after working hours, or during lunch Mon.-Fri. If either of you believe I would sacrifice a portion of my weekend to allow you to bath in my sanctified aura you are both seeing the wrong doctors. Seanachai your past allusions to my rural stature are cast back upon your person! Anyone can drive to the city on a weekend. Who is the outstate git now? I have offered more than either of you deserve, I set the time and date for our encounter as Friday the 22nd of this month at 17:00 hours. Please RSVP through e-mail. Include in said correspondences a method for contacting your persons via conventional, real-time means. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play!

ROTFLMAO Hamsters you carping rodent of reprehensible colloquiums. I didn't think you had it in your collective conscience to deliver such pithy prose. You owe me a turn BTW, that is assuming there was finally a file attached to my last sending. Scurry along now. Mace I believe a fortnight has come and gone. I remind you of your alcohol-induced acceptance to meet me on the battlefield. Would it be better for you if I through something together? When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. [This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 03-13-2001).]

Seanachai Regards B, are you so lacking in insight that you are unable to fathom a reference to the indispensable accessories of a fast food employees attire? Kierans works best for me. Time and date? Shandorf Are you listening? I find it hard to believe that a miscreant from the wrong side of the ’94 loop would pass up free drinks and grub. Then again it is undoubtedly difficult to decipher those bus schedules. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play!

In reflection I do find this particular offering somewhat lacking and say in my defense that I allowed the melodic ring to override good composition. Mr. Shaw, I dub you the “castrated conglomeration of guano who abased himself with kiasu towards The Whuppin' boy”. All who read, please take heed and address this unworthy as such until a time that he defends his total lack of honor by consenting to grind me into pixeled pulp on the electronic battlefield. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play!

A true supplicates beginning. Your ineffectual attempt at insinuating I require the crutches of the illiterate masses to delineate your short-comings, leave the gentle reader to wonder at the lack of dust upon the tomes to which you refer, sitting less than arms length from your own keyboard. The verbose nature of my rambling is wit onto itself. If you ever extract your cerebral edifice, ensconced as it is between the two largest muscles of the human anatomy, you may be able to see the light of my poetic postulations. The remaining drivel and platitudes are beneath notice. Except to ask if you consider the incessant references to the worn saw of instructing Bauhaus to find a resting place a key ingredient to a "witty post"? Despite your apparent roll as the provider of literary pabulum for this mutated mass of mastoids. I will lower myself to engage you upon the field of conflict. Prove your worth you insufferable simpleton, or be forever known as the castrated conglomeration of guano who abased himself with kiasu towards The Whuppin' boy of PENG! When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play! [This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 03-12-2001).]

Having some forced idle time (waiting for a plane) thrust upon me, I would like to put forth a suggestion for the scrutiny of this horrific hive of hairy humanity. While the presentation of title serves to identifying the relative position of a member in this cast of caustic cretins, perhaps the addition of an award structure might bring about an even more muddied, obtuse complexity to the whimsical waters of this forum. These badges of dishonor would be temporal in nature and be placed upon the sig files of the appropriate pretender on any given day. The caveat to this process is the assumption that any singular tenant of the asylum could be trusted with bestowing these ambiguous honors upon the apathetic personages that inhabit this Byzantine morass of baboons. Berlichtingen comes to mind but as you all have undoubtedly ascertained by now, my mind is not without its inherent gaps of knowledge regarding the protocols present in this petulant swine pen of pompous pinheads. Popular acclaim for transference would of course be grounds for overriding the afore mentioned worthies proclamations. So without further adieu I entreat you to consider the following… First Kinniget of Combat The wielder of this decoration would be determined by The Loathsome One as the pooler with the highest winning percentage. A minimum of 10 completed games must be scribed and only an active participant, defined as having completed at least one game in the last 30 days, is eligible. Buffoon of the Bottom Feeders Opposite of the previous commendation, using the same guidelines for presentation. Champion of Choke This award would require combatants to post scores instead of just win, loss and as such may place too heavy a burden upon the scribing abilities of Lorak. However its potential popularity may cause the august scribe to be willing to devote more effort to his duties. The holder would be the inept entity who has lost a battle by the widest margin recorded to date. This presents the opportunity for the above mentioned Buffoon to easily hold multiple ribbons. I propose that no minimums be set for presentation as the holder should be long remembered. Pope of Pundits Bestowed upon the poster of the best taunt to date. Forgoing consideration of my own ostentatious offerings (although I am sure all of you concur that a reference to an Aussie consuming American malt was truly prophetic) I believe our Head-bobbing Doorman (don’t forget to tip) should be the first holder of this award. Groveling Grognard of Gameyness This speaks for itself. Imagine if you can, the whining of the recipient of this malevolent moniker. Barbra wa wa steps to the forefront for the first presentation. (ok Lawyer, send me the ten bucks you promised) Without doubt I have neglected to include someone’s pet ideas within the confines of the subject matter and anticipate expressions of disdain for having dared to suggest any change in the status quo. Still I find the pool rather stale of late (ignoring very few exceptions) and hope to stimulate the flow and quality of disseminated drivel that occasionally pervades this posturing penthouse of provincial apostles. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play!

Germanboy I would be remise in my fabrication of diatribe if I did not acknowledge the possibility that I may have over-stepped the unwritten rules of this irreverent assemblage of amoral epigrams. The reference in my last address to your familial heritage was outside the precincts of PENGism and as such should be looked upon as error in judgment on my part. I have found many of your offerings to the community at large insightful and well illustrated. It is my desire that any future dialog between our persons shall not suffer from my trite attempt at humor. Having publicly abased myself I now revert to my better-known persona and encroach upon your person with insult and innuendo. What kind of groveling gaijin (I really like that one Seanachia) are you? An ankle biting newbie like myself accosts this fine thread and kicks sand into your maligned mug and you fail to reply? Are you PENG material, or the shavings that line the core of Hamsters tree? As Whuppin’ boy I DEMAND you allow me to suffer the pain of humiliating defeat at your hands. Do you dread a summit on the field of battle with me to the extent that you will continue to cower in abject fear? Perhaps you are no longer the original holder of the Germanboy moniker and are instead a pretender as I have intimated in the gentler sections of my previous posts. Name your conditions and publicly castigate my foul assertions or be forever remembered as the weeping herpes canker that cowered from the Whuppin' boy! When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play!

Game updates and other drivel: Berlichtingen The battle has yet to be joined. Kamfgrouppe Fentle is proceeding undaunted to their initial phase lines despite the assertion that their fate is already sealed. Intelligence reports with regards to the impotent ineptitude of the allied commander have inadvertently leaked to the troops. As a result of the uproarious laughter and glee this information has brought about, a general order warning against over-confidence has been issued to squelch violations of noise discipline and good order. Agua Perdido This battle of bottom feeders is still in the setup phase. Hamsters The tree dwelling horde’s proposal arrived with little pomp or circumstance and has been turned around with due haste. Would anyone care to comment on what I might expect from the these germanic rodents? Mace In anticipation of our battle, I have graciously purchased a case of Pabst to present to you with the intent of slowly acclimating your palette towards a better class of swill. I will proceed with caution so as not to overwhelm your delicate senses. Perhaps Coors would be appropriate for the next stepping stone? I would invite you to include Stuka in this gradual clime toward the culinary delights drawn from upgrading to a better class of beverage. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play! [This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 03-12-2001).]

higher headquaters was about to para-drop sardines and squid to der blubbergroupe. Upon spotting the approaching aircraft the tuxedoed troop of beak groping combatants raised such a hue and cry that... ------------------ Winning is why we play!

I suppose I should be taken to task for leaving out the “h” but the phonic (why the hell isn’t that word spelled with an “f” and a “k”?) pronunciation is still readily apparent to even the most base neophyte who pursues this den of iniquity. Carl Pohlad is the owner of the Twinkies you disparaged dolt. Your public admission of ignorance in this matter places in doubt your claims to residency in any portion of this great northern stronghold of democracy other than the most far reaching satellites of weed hoeing peasants. Take heed you optically challenged cane clutching cretin I have already pronounced my residency. Once again I find it necessary to quote my previous verbose idiocies, I do so only because you dare to associate yourself with the two worthy pontiffs of this great thread.… Mr. Shaw please add two ubertanks and three gamey tactics to your latest endeavor with this illiterate malcontent. Punishment for breaches of thread reading etiquette should be established and recorded posthaste. Were it not for the forbearance of the more enlightened members I would put forth a plea for this suctorial invertebrate to be banished to the Crodaburg scenario for life in chastisement for his transgressions. Giving credit where it is due, I must despite the inadequacies delineated above, note that Seanachia’s post did make for a decent read and even precipitated my glancing over Germanboy’s shoulder at the ever open dictionary he holds. In that vein and in order to kill two hollow boned flyers with one piece of basalt (are you listening Chris1?) I put forth a most gracious and magnanimous offer. Seanachia name a tavern within the downtown Murderapolis area (closer to the river is better from me), set the time (minimum of one weeks notice, Mon-Fri, lunch or after work consumption) and I will stand you to hors ovaries and beverages of your choice. The Brooklyn Center boy is also invited as I respect any member of the township that spawned the awe inspiring political career of Jesse. I ask only the following conditions… A) Bath the morning of said meeting. Arrive sans drive-through headset and paper hat. C) Do not regurgitate at the table. After having met me you can return here and posture in your normal apologetic manner with regards to my person. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play! (Would one of you please suggest an HTML for Dummys guide for me?) [This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 03-10-2001).] [This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 03-10-2001).]

I await your term eagerly oh master of rodentia. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play!

I reiterate, that is NOT Mace. It’s a photo of Sonny Bono at the 74’ oscars! ------------------ Winning is why we play! Damn, I can not get the hang of these HTML text commands. [This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 03-09-2001).]

Seanachai: You city dwelling twit. Reference the previous admonishment telling you to read the thread. I have a title, I am Whuppin’ boy. I wear it proudly and will not shed it until I am pronounced Emperor or some other suitably auspicious vestment. Your inference that my postings in some way emulate Mensch have also been covered but I will do you the favor of quoting myself since you are seemingly incapable of following along. Your vague illusions to my residence being located in the backwaters of our fair state are beneath my notice. Of late as I walk through the streets of murderapolis I often wonder which one of the unwashed, change-begging supplicants you might be. Your bluster and claim of job a deadline is undoubtedly a cover for the time you spend incarcerated by the local constabulary. That or the deadline you referred to was for emptying the grease from the fryer at Micky D’s I have my suspicions that you may be a Carl Polad lover. Now if that last is not enough to bring you out of you closet then the learning curve before you is even steeper than Hamsters. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play!

I await your sending good squire. Please be aware that I am out of town until late CST Sunday and will probably be unable to return a file until Monday. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play!

Hamsters During a brief scrutiny of your postings, which any functional intestine would reject as unfit for processing, I concluded it was high time I address your pathetic, abortive attempts to have me abandon this haven for mentally deficient bipolar asylum escapees. Where to begin? *sigh* A target this large deserves at least several forums of verbose slander expounding on the absurdity of a semi-sentient entity that believes he is a compilation of rodents! Your paltry offerings of subservient drivel are in the best light droll, and most often bring on a severe case of narcolepsy to the gentle readers of this insipid insanity that attempts to pawn itself off as a thread devoted to the art of the taunt. I am convinced that if the hamster phylum became aware of your claim they would commit species suicide in revulsion of the possibility that they might in someway be associated to your affections. Your claim looses even more credibility when one realizes that a hamster has the synaptic capacity to understand the workings of a water bottle. You on the other hand still haven’t figured out that the wheel doesn’t go anywhere no matter how fast you run and have further failed to ascertain with anything approaching 100% certainty, which pellets are for consumption. Allow me to suggest a solution to the pain you purport my posts bring to you. A battle of 1500 – 2000 points. I leave the other parameters for you to configure. I choose the side after you define the afore mentioned. If by some miracle or your widely known gamey tactics, you manage to pull off even a draw I will vacate this vipers nest of virally stricken victorian vagabonds for two weeks. Now douse yourself with flea spray and gather your hairy horde in conference. Listen to the squeaking calliope that are your thought processes and reply posthaste. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play!

*Deke glances over his shoulder to ensure that the area is void of any bile stained, incestuous, perversions who claim sentience in this pod of blubber engorged cranial cavities, then bows deeply to Naja* While your observations and commentary are obviously the wise products of a pontific pundit, I must take some small issue with your declaration of my mastery over the true art form that is PENG. While I may have, in some infinitesimal measure, propagated the intent of the original author I can not in good conscience allow my moniker to be compared in the same paragraph with his. A mere mortal toiling to adhere to divine teachings, may from time to time deserve recognition but should never be thought of in comparison to the exalted being. I do heartily offer you my sincere salutations and pray that if you find some small pleasure in pursuing this bog of buffoonery, you will continue to grace us with your patronage. Well met good sir and give no credence to the inane and ineffectual meandering of the destitute defilers who post here in hopes of declaiming to the community at large their derisory skill at taunting or insulting anything or anyone much less the Whuppin’ boy of PENG! When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play!

*sigh* Lost Waterboy you've sent Germanboy scurrying for his dictionary again and for that I applaud you. The length of your post also merits notice, you must have had an extra couple of hours on your hands. I will not dwell on your past efforts, as it is understood that typing in a straight jacket is generally considered difficult at best. As for your incoherent entreaty for a “proper” challenge, are your mental faculties so diminished by your self-proclaimed lack of cranial fluid that you do not comprehend the meaning of a gauntlet cast to the ground at your feet? Have the blithe prose in my unpardonable abasements of your position escaped the notice of your congealed intellect? After even the insignificant amount of time and effort I have spent in this sacrosanct hovel of bellicose, hooting hillbillies, I know your position to be that of swine pen mucker at best. In all likelihood the true diminutive stature of your cast is unrecognized in any known social order. I postulate that you are unable comprehend anything more obvious then the monosyllabic disparagements so commonly flung about by the niggling naysayers of this narcissistic Nissen hut that is the “Pool”. In that vein I now categorically declaim that you are… A) Unable to hatch and original thought. Unworthy of notice by higher life forms, indeed any life forms more advanced then amoebae. C) Devoid of cognizant thought and action. D) Hereby formally challenged to a match. I am unable to be more lucid than that. Accept, or forever be known as the pessary of a peon who fled from the Whuppin’ boy. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play! [This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 03-09-2001).]

In a flurry of browsing and down loading demo's I stumbled across BTS. I can only say that I am pissed at all of you for not telling me about this sooner! Who's job is it anyway to notify the village idiots? We do represent a significant portion of the minority population you know. ------------------ Winning is why we play!

I eagerly await your proposal sir. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play!

Less intelligent than fecal matter I may be, groping for wit, rational thought or even a shred of self respect you certainly are. Searching or reading through the Archives that are PENG is like trying to find a particular drop of Hamsters drool, that ocean is just to large. I fully expect to be the target of this pools foul incoherent sense of humor, pathetic though it may be and stick by my acceptance of the challenge. Send me the setup but have the intestinal fortitude to bring upon my demise with your own flippers. Failing to do so will only expound upon the widely known ineptitude you demonstrate on such a consistent and unwavering basis. I am truly amazed at the fetid smell of fear which rolls from every reply to my posts. Seanachai and Germanboy have taken the tact of ignoring me which clearly demonstrates their gross inefficacy to deal with even the lowest newbie. I have graced these reviled, sallow hued halls festooned with the ramblings of myopic malcontents who’s miserable attempts at taunting deprive any guest or denizen of even a modicum of eyebrow raising with at least passable prose and have found only drivel in reply. If it’s a joke for a battle that you must force upon me please do. The joke my petulant pundit may be on you. When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor. ------------------ Winning is why we play!