Hamsters

Peng is what you lesser people know as God or Allah or Brahma.

How can you have no idea what I'm going on about? These are legitimate targets, why wouldn't they be? It just takes time for orders to be given and carried out. I thought I stated that quite simply, didn't I? Just to be clear, I don't think it's unrealistic for a commander to order a tank to attack a unit that the tank doesn't initially spot. The same goes for other units as well as changing a unit's target to one that better suits the overall strategy. I do, however, think that these orders should be delayed by C&C just like movement orders. Units can still change targets as the TacAI deems necessary (Which I feel covers all situations where a section or squad leader would order a change in targets, et cetera) but a specific order from 'Up top' takes a while to get to the grunt, be it an order to move or shoot. [This message has been edited by Hamsters (edited 03-18-2001).]

I seriously doubt squads and sections switched fire to targets that they thought weren't important or targets that they didn't know anything about. Imagine your squad is taking fire from a squad up the hill in the trees and they start firing back. But you (The overall commander) know that that squad isn't going to cause you nearly as much trouble as the one farther back with a commanding view of an open expanse that you're moving troops through. How can you justify that your section or squad leader would switch targets to this other squad? Psychic? Empathy? And there's no way to explain that a tank that just happened to be ambushed right at the end of a turn would know to immediately button or unbutton and attack a zook that it doesn't see. This, however, happens all the time and is completely unrealistic. It would take some time to get those boys on the phone and tell them what a dire situation they're in, wouldn't it? [This message has been edited by Hamsters (edited 03-18-2001).]

That's not realistic, as you aren't standing next to Hans. You're telling your radioman to get Hans's platoon HQ on the line (Or Hans's tank) and telling him there's a damned zook right next to him in the trees, no to his left, and he's got to whack it. You're telling me that should be instantaneous while telling Hans to move forward 10m shouldn't be? If Hans sees those guys on his own, no problem, just the same as if Hans had decided to shoot at one guy and not another, you still have to get your radioman to tell his Platoon HQ or whatever to switch targets, which is tough considering he's 50m away from his Platoon HQ and there's an arty barrage going on.

We're sorry, BTS went out of business three weeks ago. There will be no CM2 or CMII or any other features. Though CM was an unheralded success, it seems they never had time to program a new game, as they were busy answering the same questions over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...

It doesn't make any sense. Movement orders suffer from 3-20+ second command delays, why don't the targeting orders? Wouldn't this solve a lot of the absolute spotting problems by accurately portraying the commander making an order for a tank or other unit to target a unit that they cannot see?

Crude idiot? That insult is just silly. What I pointed out was that if you want to prove his estimation of your countrymen's military skill to be wrong, prove it wrong. Otherwise, Italy has such a poor track record that the adjective '****ty' can be used quite accurately. This being a military oriented forum and this being a very specifically military oriented thread, it is safe to assume he was calling the Italian military ****ty and not the entire Italian race ****ty, which would also be silly.

When did everyone become so damn sensitive? Does everything have to be a reason to get offended. People have been calling the Italians military crap for years, get used to it, move on and when CM3 comes out, kick his lily white fanny with those ****ty Italians.

Updates, for all yous limeys! Stuka the Large-Eared has decided that the best way to take out his angst at having ears the size of small moons is to kill the, roughly, 8.2 million men I have fielded. He has so far succeeded in killing 1. This man's name was Richard Walter, he lived in Ebonshire by the Loo. You will pay, Stuka, you will pay. MarkIV the Cruel has killed the avatar of Halftrakikus, German god of halftracks and Bratwurst. This has so incensed the Krauts that they will no doubt tear him to pieces. This is only possible if our panzershreck can manage to hit the broad side of a zeppelin. Jd the Crafty has managed to sweet talk our men into buffoonery and cowardice. Those that don't surrender immediately seem to be unable to shoot. Those that are able to shoot seem unable to hit anything. It is sad. Seanachai the Cursed has managed to attract the attention of Baronet Willie Von Richtofen, little known bastard son of the Red Baron. Not only does this sob like to bomb and strafe but we're pretty sure we saw him making time with some of Seanachai's company whores. Let it be noted that a scout car in this battle made a valient but pathetically ineffective effort to sway of the Junior Baron. Croda the Crodariffic is insane and this map is huge. PeterNZer the Poorly Named seems to have sent me an operation that consists solely of his tanks blowing up our tanks. Not out of tactics, mind you, rather the initial turn consists of his tanks pointed at my tanks rears. And our tanks are all green. And they're Cromwells and Stuarts and Sherman IIs. And his are Tigers and they're veteran, crack and elite. This makes little sense to us. Aitken the Lucky deserves to not be mentioned. He and jd must have picked up the Hamsters Voodoo Doll and Curse Set from Costco, for our men are incompetant on this map, too. DekeFentle the Ugly is facing all of the crack shots and heroes that were culled from the ranks of the troops facing jd and Aitken. One AT gun killed a Jackson and then crippled another not 2 seconds before the gun itself was knocked out. Another AT gun is down to only one valiant soldier that refuses to abandon or take cover, facing off against the last piece of Allied armor on the field. Goanna the Lizard has become angry at our positioning of troops in buildings. It has demanded that our next battle take place on a flat field so that we may resolve our differences like men, even though it is a lizard and we are a multitude of hamsters. Priest accepted our cease-fire. Verbally. That's right, Priest didn't hit Alt-C and return the bloody file and has now fallen off the face of the earth. We've won this one, so it is only a matter of time. Armornut still doesn't get it. Elvis, Lorak, Hiram and Berli, send us a setup.

Wow, Diablo bought CM, talk about a great sales pitch.

Um, because it'll be your only choice. You think the Russians wanted to use this style of warfare? 'Gee, Sergei, let's go back to Revolutionary style warfare, that'll teach those Germans.' If you've got a bunch of Germans held up across an open expanse and you don't have the arty or armor but you have three times the troops, what else would you do?

The reason he couldn't answer you, oh largest eared of the pixie folk, is because he was busy being eviscerated by us. Peng: Eviscerated, and how. Hamsters: VIC-TOR-Y! [This message has been edited by Hamsters (edited 03-18-2001).]

Iterate: To say again. Reiterate: Not a word, you moron.

Psha, it didn't even compare to Breach II. Now there was a game and a half. Laser Squad couldn't carry Breach II's jock.

Really?!? Who's making it, when's it coming out?

Kickass. That's why you're our favorite squire.

Perch, have you played Combat Mission? This argument could be put forth for the Pershing, the Jagdtiger, the King Tiger, The PzIV/70, the Jumbo and god knows what other vehicles. The short 1.5cm on the Brummbar isn't nearly accurate enough to risk fighting enemy armor with, that's why the Germans didn't use it in this role. If it was any good at it, don't you think they would have? And the Sturmtiger has a ROF of 1 shot per 12 minutes, so yes it could blow anything up with one shot but then it's FRICKIN DEFENSELESS after that for 12 minutes. I doubt Sudden Strike models that and that's probably why it rocks in that stupid game. To iterate, if the Brummbar was an ubertank, you would have seen the Germans using it as such. In reality, it was just an effective assault gun.

Ah, Squire kicking. Roborat was our squire but now we have Priest (We prefer to call him pissboy). We thought that Roborat was knighted in Lorak's cult-style mass knighting some time back. If he wasn't, oh well, now he's sponsorless, perhaps Croda will take him. Pissboy, go get Berli a new boot, he seems to have worn his out. And now, to assure everyone that we are lovers of fine things, selected passages from The Sword of Damocles, by: He who reads that ancient fable, Wondering at the plot, Seeing in it no resemblance, To life's common lot, Reads it as an unknown language, Comprehending not, Over every human being Hangs a sword in air, From myst'rious heights suspended, By a single hair; Though perceived not, though unheeded, Yet forever there. Keener than the sword Assyrian Flashing through the fight; Deadlier than the sword of Gideon Battling for the right; Than Excalibur more subtle In its cunning might... Fall it may with swift-winged vengeance Bidding evil cease; Fall it may with blest redemption Bringing sweet release; Fall it may with angel's summons Like a song of Peace.

Blasphemer!!!!!!!!! Or, you could get on a boat for a couple months, that helps. You know, fishing season's starting up in Alaska, if you're in Ketchikan I can give you a reference. I know a great dock foreman who loves to play Axis and Allies.

Crodaburg... is... terrible... None must ever play Crodaburg. Its first turn was 1400k. There were bunkers and more bunkers and barbed wire and, oh the humanity! Turn two may be a little better. David, your setup is a coming but there better be another panel in the All Your Cesspool Are Belong To Us strip (By the way, as a sage Babs pointed out to me, it's "Somebody set up us the bomb" not "Somebody set us up the bomb". Everyone else, eat hot death. Except for jd and shandorf, who are making us eat more than our fair share of hot death. A pox on both your houses.

Lorak, not so fast! Meeks: Win Mensch: Utter Defeat and Meeks: Win Mensch: Utter Defeat In what could be considered fate paying Mensch back for the wins given him, in the face of all reason, while fighting us some time back, was given the worst bend over and take it, painful CMing of his life. Twice. Not only did the computer figure that his Jagdpanther (Which bounced a Tungsten shell from my Sherman/76) should abandon after taking track and gun damage in the first battle, it later determined that Mensch deserved to pay penance for stealing candy from lepers or some other heinous crime by awarding him the following units for an attack: 1 Platoon of limeys 2 MMG Carriers 2 Extra Mortars 3 Cromwells. Arrayed against him, the computer gave us 4(!) Hetzers, a Pak40 and a platoon of VGs. Mensch was dead in less time than it takes Stuka to whip out his pitifully sized thingie.

Stuka, you imbecile, this is the new thread, keep your Hi Momming to yourself!

Oops, the rules: Make it interesting but no vulgarities, you pissants! Make sure to post stupid, stupid, 'Look at me, I'm posting in the Peng thread!' posts (This only applies to gits like The Commisar) Respect Berli, for he is evil. A little song, a little dance, Batman's head on a lance. [This message has been edited by Hamsters (edited 03-14-2001).]

Yes, we managed to find them right next to our nipples. All of which had been thrown into a pit. Dug in search of what seems to be pig****. Thank you, Mr. Berli, sir, we've now reattached these and have managed, via counselling and other less savory methods, to forget all about how badly you whomped us. We are now prepared to fight again and again and again but no more than that.

Oh Priest are you in for a big surprise, no not in CM but here. HERE! We're going to take you as our squire. Yes, you've been so sweets to us and givens us a cutesie nickname and even played a semi-decent battle. Of coruse your troops are gamey and your tactics are Croda-Magnon but still, it's cute. Yes, you can washes our cars and rubs our corns and fetches our newspapers. Oh happy day. And one day, when the Pool gets itself in a tizzy, we'll throw you in a pit with another squire and yous two can battle it out for the honor of being no longer a pissboy. What say instead of squires we call them pissboys? Does that work? We don't need to change knights, that's still cute but squire is too, we don't know, honorable. These days with the comings and the goings and the lookee-loos whens the threads start up, we should call them pissboy. And Priest is our pissboy. Welcome aboard the Hamster train of loooooooooove, pissboy!