Hamsters

We didn't even do that. Has anyone noticed that there wasn't a post by Fuerte or the Commieczar or any other needle-nosed lookie-loo? Perhaps the forum has become used to the new growth Pools. As to that rat of a robot, roborat, we can no longer deign to keep him as a squire. He is lily-livered, ill-tempered and poorly washed. We renounce his squireship and pissboyage. At one point, he had potential (More than can be said of our other squire, Priest, who is just what the Indians call, 'Stupid in the Head') but his posting has been lackadaisical and his gameplay has been slow. Begone, foul Roborat and never trouble us again!!

Now say it with a little more passion than that. After returning from a grueling, 20 mile, cross-country ski out to Glacier Point (In god's own country, the beautiful Yosemite), we find that jd, the evil, evil jd, has finally thrown in the towel or, at least, what's left of it. 100 men surrendered, 200 dead, 4 vehicles kaput (One kaput due to surrender, so we don't count that one) and all this after a cowardly display by our forward outpost early in the game. The entire battle turned on the brilliant and heroic actions of a single platoon using jd's own smoke as its cover, charging straight into the thick of jd's attack. When the smoke cleared, well over a gross of jd's corn-fed Iowans lay stacked like so much cordwood. Total topplement. In other news: Goanna refuses to acknowledge the total whupping it is receiving at our hands. Remember, in the great Rochambeau of life, insane hamsters beats philosophical lizard. Roborat is a twit, we'll get to this later. Jefe has four tanks to our one!!! Obviously the cheating, gamey, stupid, incontinent, ugly, evil, evil, evil bastard has hacked into the CM code and fed the computer one of Mensch's brownies, thereby forcing it to give me ****e and him the entire 3rd armored division. We will never, ever, ever play against Jefe with computer assigned troops again. Stuka just killed an entire platoon of ours in 3 seconds. This would be sad except we just downloaded the Cesspool faces mod and it means that Stuka has committed suicide to the nth degree. This means he not only rots in hell but rots deep, down where Berli keeps his socks. PeterNZer continues to kill our men in some sadistic, 'Wheeee!!! I get five Tigers and you get lots and lots of ****ty British tanks!!' operation. The only highlight is lighting Wittman's tank on fire and then gunning down the Hun bastard. Hopefully reinforcements will include Fat Man. MarkIV got a lucky hit with a 37mm gun and now thinks he's Stonewall reborn. He has decided the entire left flank is poor terrain to attack and has concentrated his entire reinforced corps in three squares of woods on his right. Seanachai gunned down our men in typical gamey fashion. Our jabo has now ventilated his scout car's spare tire, if it scores one more 'wheel hit' than we will be posting on the main board with 'BTS, Fix Too Many Wheels on Scout Car or Somefink!' No I won't spell it 'tyre', just like we won't spell it 'whinging' or 'honour' because we are not British nor do we ever want to be. Aitken, you ass, at your leisure means NOW! We think we may be playing Abbot, though this would be stretching the definition of the word play.

Let me fill in the rest of the topic: My 1000th post! sucked as much as my last 999! Now send a turn, you git!

You're still not getting my Bud Light.

Michael, you alternate between condescending, conciliatory and nasty. To say that I give Jason any more leeway than anyone else is foolish and unjustified. To whit, this should help: Jason Cawley was idiotic for posting mathematical formula after formula as that only continued to keep the issue in some quasi-grog realm, even though it is obvious that his initial statement merely used numbers in the same way a person would use the term, 'a lot' or 'a little', which I defend and still consider perfectly acceptable. Jason insulted people who disagreed with him, which cannot be defended. Jason posted paragraphs and paragraphs when short, pithy posts would ahve been much more readable, understandable and topical. Yes, I agree that Jason has acted like an egomaniacal jerk at times. I also think that his detractors have acted like the Inquisition and have primarily latched on to his act of using numbers ambiguously and not his demeanor in response. Many posts about Jason's demeanor went along the lines of, 'This guy is acting like a jerk by not admitting he's wrong.' which is a fallacious argument. Finally, somehow I got branded a Jason Cawley worshipper, which is odd as Andreas himself will attest that my massive ego and foolhardy belief in my own greatness would never allow for me to be anyone's worshipper.

That's cute. No really, it is. I saw four pages of groundless arguments and vitriol, where was the explaining?

And another thing, after much perusal of this freakish monstrosity of a thread, this issue wasn't about historical accuracy at all. The anger showed was on the basis of language, not accuracy. Jason was being obviously ambiguous about the effect of snipers on the battle, how else can you explain giving an open-ended range for the effect of snipers on a battle?!?! That is ambiguous, it's just ambiguous using numbers. It's the same thing as him saying, 'yada yada yada, snipers are less important than these four things and probably a lot less important than the least of these four.' except he said it with a pair of fractions. It's ok to use numbers ambiguously, this is not heresy, that's why they invented the '~' symbol. That's what pi is for. Just because someone uses numbers doesn't mean they're suddenly subjected to the standards of a scientific journal or made to reference any statements they've made. Had Jason said, 'Snipers contributed to 1.5% of the casualties in Stalingrad' than demanding his references would be understandable but the man made a statement giving a range between 20% and 2%, weighted toward the 2% and open-ended at the 2% and was referring to an all ready ambiguous 'Snipers in relation to the German defeat at Stalingrad', not casualties or supplies or any other specific facet of the battle. To iterate, it's perfectly acceptable to use numbers ambiguously and it has, in fact, been perfectly acceptable to use them that way throughout human history. Give me a dozen donut holes, make sure my tires are at 60psi, a pound of roast beef, 6 million Jews, 500,000 gypsies, 6 million Bolsheviks and others, 300,000 men trapped, 5 million rounds expended, 2 gigabyte hard drive, 30 minutes to get to work, 2000 years ago, one small step for man, et cetera ad infinitum. Next time, before you light someone on fire for not using the language how you want them to, why don't you take a little more time to read what they're saying rather than the symbols they're using to express it. [This message has been edited by Hamsters (edited 03-23-2001).]

Hey guys, what's the problem with this statement? According to Jason's thesis (Arty trumps room to room which trumps breakthroughs which trumps German high vommand incompetance which trumps snipers), snipers couldn't have contributed more than 1/5, so the 1/5 figure is an acceptable way of restating what Jason said with the Arty trumps room to room, et cetera. The 1/50 end of Jason's scale of sniper importance is a suitably vague number and is in itself qualified. Mefinks some people are jumping at shadows.

Look, it's Peng Jr! How are ya, boy? When, exactly, have you posted anything memorable, you twit of an earless dog?

Ding dong David Aitken is dead, David Aitken is dead, David Aitken is dead, Ding dong the wicked David Aitken is deeeeead! Hi ho, the merry-o, Which old ho? David Aitken the ho, Ding dong David Aitken is dead!!! He's gone where the Bauhaus don't stand up, Don't stand up, A doo dee doo dee, Ding dong a total topplement, Which old topplement? A total topplement, Ding dong the David Aitken is dead!!! Doo doo dee doo doo dee, Doo doo dee, Dee doo doo dee, Dee doo dee doo doo doo doo dee!

We must bring to the forefront Sir Shaw's beauty of a plan to give only losses to squires *kick* and their wins to their knights. Obviously, we have nothing to gain from this, having the two most worthless squires *kick* known to the pool *kick* but we feel things should also be amended *kick* to take away any reporting at all *kick* for serfs. Most Gracious and Humble Lord Lorak should not waste his time recording the goings-ons of some landless peasants. *kick* Notice my new sig, which indicates the abject cowards who have refused games with us. -------------- Lawyer *kick*

Was this before or after we beat your ass with the 'Le-Lo' section of the Encyclodedia Asstanica?

Hey Abboooooooooootttt! We'll play ya. In fact, a setup is winging it's way to you right now. Hey Armornut, be quiet over there.

Actually, sir, the Jagdtiger is armed with a 128mm gun, not an 88.

Well, duh! *kick*

A few notes before the business at hand: Joe Shaw had an excellent idea. Squires should never receive wins until they become knights, therefor winning the Knigget's Challenge would be their first win. This would make them take becoming knights a leetle more seriously. It's knave, not naive, Mace. Lawyer doesn't respond to creative insults, we don't think he gets them. It was Marlow's fault for calling him Herr Oberst Speedy. Come on Marlow, get with the game. Gamey Bastards: MarkIV Jefe Possibly Aitken Dying Bastards: Seanachai (Gamey, too, he chose TWO Churchills) jd Goanna Deke Bastards: PeterNZer Stuka Armornut Croda Dead Bastard: Priest, to whit, after being annihilated (Even though he rigged it so he'd get four Mark4s and a Tiger to our two (TWO!) Shermans, one of which was a 75), we still wiped the floor with him. Funny thing is, even if he won, we'd still be victorious, as he is our squire and all his victories are belong to us. Hamsters: W Priest: L

We believe that handsome paragon of wit, weilder of the witty riposte and handler of the breasts of many a fine woman, Elijah Meeks, is Roborat's sponser. Updates: Jefe: Killing us. jd: Dying. Lorak: Better the hell be sending US the setup, dammit! Goanna: Up in the air. PeterNZer: Down in the toilet. Croda: We can't even bear to open the file, not that we're losing, it's just that Crodaburg is such a goddamn mess. MarkIV: Lucky. Seanachai: Unlucky. Aitken: Lazy. Probably a coward, too. Most likely of questionable lineage. Deke: Dead. Priest (Our own little squire): Stupid. Stuka: Mad as a Mensch in a Mace factory. I mean, crazy as two whores in Bauhaus's hovel. Sick as a Sasquatch with gamey manuevering.

The German tanks had variable speed turrets based on how much the engine was revved. BTS has modeled the average speed. [This message has been edited by Hamsters (edited 03-20-2001).]

Woot woot woot!

I'm sure this sounds more impressive in Dutch but in English it makes you sound like one of those armless wretches that bothers us for change on the subway. Hopefully your pathetic country will be conquered by a real nation or at least Mexico, so that you can become somewhat interesting. Until then, take pleasure in the fact that all those places, which 99.9% of the intelligent population of Earth know nothing about, are running for their miserable lives. Woot woot and all that.

I ran the following test: 6 Buttoned Conscript Hummels (Buttoned to reduce spotting Conscript for the longest command delay, Hummels because they only have a main gun) 6 Elite Sharpshooters with no ammo (Elite so that they have the best spotting ability) 6 Regular Bazooka teams with no ammo, hidden (Bazooka because they should be priority targets for AFVs) On the field there are six patches of woods, each has a sharpshooter and a bazooka team with a Hummel next to it. Thus, at the beginning of the battle, the Axis player can see all the bazookas but the Hummels themselves cannot. Running a round through with no actions causes the hummels to do nothing. Unhiding each Hummel's respective bazooka teams and running them, thus making them more visable, causes the following results: 3 Bazooka teams destroyed, three untouched as some of the Hummels catch sight or sound of the bazooka teams but some have no idea. Ordering the Hummels to area attack next to the Bazooka teams causes the following results: Every Hummel immediately begins rotating to attack, even though their individual C&C delays for movement are 33 seconds.

I'm sure Rob/1 can do a search button for BTS that would be just what you're looking for.

...and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over...

When I said it was your only choice, by the way, this is what I meant. It was not meant that the Russians would only use human waves in any battle rather they would be forced to in some situations because it was the only way they could achieve their goals given their resources and the situation.

Hmmm, could 'Who is Peng?' be the real life incarnation of 'Who is John Galt?'