Buzzsaw

Dance card is full?! I guess in Ohio that club foot and missing digits don't really hurt you that much in the dating pool. Speaking of clubs: *CLUB*, that is for being Ohioan sub-human, *CLUB* that is for having a cheating football team that managed to get the only meaningful post season defeat of an SEC team vacated, and *CLUB*, that's just for the heck of it. Go back from whence you came.

I agree. After so many years of reading unending kvetching about rules and procedure, it's pretty sad to see out Justicar reduced to making shi#t up. The summary disowning of a Squire is pretty low, even by Cesspool standards.

Boo stain, I think, given your ample handicaps, that it is safe to say that the universe hates you back.

Uggh, it roils the stomach to contemplate the “nose” on Shaw’s gas: Depression-era Easter eggs, castor oil, and a hint of talcum powder? Cheap scotch, rotten beets, and opossum stew?

Another victory for House Rune! Marlow and I haven't figured out how to successfully trade cease fire turns, but my infantry has been pounded to a pulp by ‘splodey things, and I must admit defeat. No doubt Marlow’s experience with hillbilly dynamite fishing informed his tactics in this battle, and I thank my elder in House Rune for his informative lesson.

The news is true! In my first battle wearing the mantle of Squire of House Rune, I have triumphed over Herr Oberst and the vile Shavian House. I think that Oberst was confused by the nighttime battle and was expecting some kind of evening soiree. That is the only way I can explain the large number of recreational vehicles he purchased, and the giant hookahs that many of his squads were carrying slung over their shoulders. Sadly, my daring, hedge-cutting Stuart did not survive the fray, but his display of horticultural finesse induced the expected shock and awe, and I have dedicated this victory to the memory of that brave crew, and to my liege, the magnificent and inspiring Lord Rune. Not to worry about the lack of content in Oberst's posts. As this was a Blood Hamster Match, I'll be taking care or that forthwith. Lastly, a few pics further documenting the rise to greatness of Buzzsaw, and, just as importantly, the total humiliation of the Shavian House. Oberst's party vagons didn't last long, even when they had some protection. The brave hedge cutter has laid down its life to open the way for his brothers. Somebody is just asking for a rear penetration. Total victory for House Rune.

After two months, a least there is a little excitement. How about you send me that latest turn so that I can view my gardening skills? Perhaps I will have that crew fashion a giant topiary to commemorate my brilliant (soon to be) victory.

Tell your pixerltruppen to clear out the earwax. There is a lot of clanking going on.

I am still reading this cr#p, but I am not sure why. What I am not doing is playing enough CMBN. Marlow, if you are pinned by a large boulder, it is time to break out the pocket knife and free yourself. Don't worry if it is your head that is pinned -- removal would be a great improvement.

Marlow seems happy to acknowledge receipt of my turns without bothering to attach anything to his outgoing email. Smacktard.

No news. One of my opponents is out of town, and the other is out to lunch.

Oberst, you have much more to fear than a few holes in your Kubelwagon. Somewhere in the dark, a horrible evil lurks.

In an emergency, noobs can be used to keep the MBT from falling to the second page, although this task is best left to recently promoted squires.

In other news, Oberst's joyriding kubelwagon has retreated into the night. From the replay, it looks like he might have a flat in the right rear tire which needs changing. Marlow, seeing that I am out of all HE, has decided the shell his own troops just to keep things interesting. His pancied troops are now retreating(?) toward the offending AFVs, and will probably want to have a word with their commander.

Also, blustery noobs with inflated egos may be lashed together into a makeshift raft.

I don't see any SSNs about right now, but I encourage everyone to remember that they do have some uses. It is quite easy to pierce their soft flesh with a sharp pole and push them around the place as a makeshift mop. (Fred knows the place could use a little spiffing up). Their spineless nature makes them uniquely suited to getting to hard-to-reach cracks and crevices. Speaking of cracks and crevices, perhaps Shaw needs to be rubbed-down by a couple of fresh noobs. Perhaps I'll see if I can stir some up.

Thank you, o gracious and noble liege. It is with great reverence that I accept the solemn duties of squire in House Rune, and I hope that my first deed will be to deliver a glorious victory over that Shavian dog Oberst. P.S. Can someone check Shaw's Depends -- he seems to be getting very fussy.

It is true, in the third game of the second coming of Buzzsaw, I have achieved victory for House Rune! Hiram was forced into surrender by a careful combination of my glacial pace of attack, badgering about sending turns, and a scenario which burdened him with too many conscripts. Sadly, his early surrender means that my daring raid on several empty buildings was not launched, so I can only present a few uninspiring screenshots (not even a single burning AFV for ambiance): I'm going to the chapel, and I'm gonna get - BLAM! Future pilgrims can follow the trail of bodies to the abbey Not really ready to call it a total victory, since Hiram's troops still had some fight in them and held the abbey, but I like those casualty ratios.

CMBN is easily the most fun I have ever had with a computer game. CMBB and CMAK take second place.

I think we got this all sorted out this morning, but just in case: No I have not patched CMBN. I am enjoying watching your cowardly HMG crew surrender surrounded by your own men. Perhaps it is the sight of their massacred Battalion HQ that has them so spineless? After this morning's exchange, you should have turn 50 waiting for you to play. I am starting to think that your excuse of poor email handling is just a cover for problems with remedial math. Let me help you: The turns numbers are ascending. This means that you should be sending me turn 51, not turn 49.

Why don't you have all you pixeltruppen run to the corner of the map anyway. At this point, it might be your best chance. BTW, waiting on turn 49 from you, (just in case my last went missing again).

Don't be jealous just because you, your original liege, and your extended family are such backwards smacktards that no one has ever paid you a compliment. House Rune has earned its adulation through years of grog-y service to CM and the MBT. And, though you may deny it, your grognard imitations on the outre-boards and occasional contributions here, are a clear homage to the greatness of Rune.

Herr Oberst, Hiram, and Marlow, you all owe me turns. I hope that the fear of having your defeats documented in full technicolor glory does not have you dragging your collective feet. Come on -- up and at 'em. Forward to your graves!

And so that future scholars researching the origins of Brave Sir Buzzsaw will have a complete picture, a few screens from Ng_Cavscouts original schooling of a young Buzzsaw. Buzzsaws Burning AFVs House Rune Rulz!

Announcing another glorious victory for House Rune!!!!! Ng_Cavscout has secured a Major Victory against me in a meeting engagement, his second win against me in as many games. I would like to thank Ng_Cavscout for the lesson in tactics and his impeccable manners throughout the match. It is matches such as these that enflame my ardent desire for knighthood in House Rune. Rest assured that I will be applying all lessons learned against the vile Herr Oberst in our Blood Hamster match and against Hiram of House Bard. Adding a few screens of House Rune's triumph Buzzsaw's brave Shreck team KOs a tank (didn't do so well against that second Sherman) View of the carnage Buzzsaw's beast, 40 casualties, 5 tanks, 3 halftracks House Rune wins!