Buzzsaw

Great Fred! Unable to notch any victories in battle, and too senile to post any new material, Joe is now bragging about past posts? I suppose we should be impressed that he can remember that far back.

Listen, Wildman, I’m well aware of the expectation of specific and well-formed taunts. It’s just that, given the synapse firing speed of the cesspool denizens, the demands of real-time play are just too much for most them, and I opted for a gentlemanly invitation to any interested party. I also wanted to get the offer out as quickly as possible, as once noon ET has passed, most of these guys resort to various chemical means to further slowdown their synapses. Besides, are you really one to be giving lessons? Best I can see you only recently waltzed back into the MBT and lamely struck up a game with Joe. Next time why don’t you send a direct email and spare the rest of us your pathetic mewling.

Ugh, forced to post here again to keep MBT on page one, and forced to post on outerboards to look for an opponent. At this rate, I might as well do some real work today.

Armor, small .... Post here or send a message via forum.

Ready to play a small armor battle today. Msg or post here if you are interested.

My bloodlust has no time for proper spelling, you tallywhacker. My don't you save your lessons for later and submit to a beating? I can promise to make it quick.

Okay, my PBEM with Marlow is not going to satisfy me quickly enough. I need someone's skull as my first CMBN trophy, and I need it now! Anyone up for a small armor battle internet (which means real time)? Will be tooling around for a few hours, post here or message me if you are interested.

Page 2 again.... Important update on the Epic Buzzsaw v. Marlow battle: I have set my password.

And Buzzsaw v. Marlow is on! No surprise that the only one man enough to face me in battle is from House Rune. May he die gloriously in battle.

"Chortle", really? Remember what they taught you in therapy Joe -- when you feel the saliva pooling in the back of your mouth, it is time to swallow or you will make those funny sounds. No need to trust Rune's memory. You only need recognize his right to take me on as squire and look forward to the day when I shall post as full-fledged Knight of the Pool.

Couldn't imagine anything more painful than sifting through old Peng threads. I can only point to Rune's responses to my return return. Rune, my Liege, bless me with confirmation of the title of Squire in House Rune and one of your wicked scenarios and I will inflict its evilness on the true newbies who pretend to have business in the MBT.

Well, never a full-fledged Knight of House Rune, to be sure, but at least a piss-boy or some such.

Ohhh, little Stuka boy. I haven't the time to trace your house lineage and lob a proper insult. I do, however, have the time to teach you a lesson for insulting House Rune. Ready to test yourself or has your witless commentary on others’ posts left you mentally spent?

Alright, in order to give my opponent a fair chance, I haven't read the manual, and have only played half a game. I see a few SSNs posting here. Since I am of such low standing, I'd be happy to give one of the a smack down in the name of House Rune. Here newbie, here newbie....

For your viewing pleasure. From a trip several years ago.

Okay, now that is just sad. Shouldn't there be some standards for house names? Even if jdmorse's choice of handle makes it clear that he has no flair, can't someone help with a more appropriate appellation for his sorry collection of followers?

House of Croda, House of Boo -- both are mere shacks compared to the magnificence that is House of Rune. If you are trying to claim some misguided allegiance to Boo, why don't you step up and take his beating for him. My pie-hole will not be silent until it has tasted blood.

CM1 + TCP/IP WeGo was some of the best fun I have ever had on a computer. I guess I'll need to give PBEM and/or RT a serious try this time around.

Uggh. I am gone for three days and my punishment is having to read five pages of drivel. I see that Boo is trying to duck another challenge, and this one from an Olde One, no less. I didn't realize exactly how far House Boo had fallen -- not even one squire willing to defend his honor against the fearsome Buzzsaw?

Might take you up on your kind offer at some point. Have recently succeeded in killing the world slowest moving truck, so there is some progress.

Boo, I think you misunderstood the challenge. I do not want to spend time dissecting posts. I want to spend time dissecting YOU. Still, there is a certain painful linearity about your method that helps me understand why you are the laughing stock of all CM players. Tend to lose all of your armor in the same spot do you? After that first tank gets popped, it might be best to avoid driving the rest of the platoon into the same trap... Nice demonstration of your first grade level reading comprehension, however. I can only image how hard it was for you: “Okay Boo, can you tell me what happened in the storybook?” “Boo, please take the modeling clay out of your nose, and leave the hamster alone.” “Boo, leave the hamster alone, we are trying to finish story time.” “NO, Boo. BAD Boo. We do NOT do that to the hamster!”

And while we are at it, let’s address the Others Recognized status of my Liege. When Boo applies this title to Rune, I think we can all agree that any of the following would more completely express the thought: Others recognized as not being anal-retentive rule-followers Others recognized as having vastly superior intellect Others recognized for contributions to CM and the MBT that I could not hope to match in 10,000 years

Time and your congenital handicaps have colored your memories of your servitude in House Dalem. Pissboys do as they are ordered. Your only “standard” was the urine-soaked rag that Dalem had you hoist over your head. This may well account for the sepia-tinted nostalgia with which you view your apprenticeship, but it is not something of which you should brag.

My challenge stands, you suppurating canker. If you must have a foolish second fight in your stead, so be it, but you and all of House Boo will share in the humiliation. And I must now amend my previous position. Unwarranted attacks on my Liege have earned you my very personal enmity. If I must wait, I will wait. But, do not fool yourself, you will, eventually, suffer a terrible fate at my hands. Until that day, I will gladly crush any squire, SSN, or pissboy dumb enough to take orders from you.

Boo Radley, you vile pustule, I challenge you! You have vexed those greater than yourself for too long, and your reckoning is at hand! The great Rune has ordained that you be humbled. Behold now his terrible instrument for this holy mission– Buzzsaw reincarnate! Though base in station, I am not so low that I cannot raise a leg to apply the appropriate disinfectant before I proceed to squash you. And once squashed, may you forever remember YOUR station. Washed from the perch where you deign to host the MBT, you will ever after live in the gutter where you belong. I could deride your hometown of Akron, or dig through your previous posts in an attempt to make this more personal, but, truth be told, this isn’t personal. You are just too common. You are just a common poseur that must be put in his place, and if I make this personal than I’ll have to take a personal interest in all of your Reality TV brethren that plague the airwaves. Don’t get me wrong – I hate you. I really, really hate you. But this is not the personal hate that I reserve, for say, the “guru” in marketing who has destroyed a profitable business by making **** up, or the pig who can’t keep the company bathroom clean. Actually, the original metaphor is very apropos. I hate you in exactly the same way that I hate a boil on my backside.