Lars

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: I always heard that soldiers tried to shy away from standing too near the flame-thrower guy. Surely there was a reason for this? <hr></blockquote> If you are the only guy walking around the battlefield with a lit blowtorch, you tend to attract a lot of unfriendly attention. Especially at night.

Damn. I hate it when you're right. {edited to ask what's a dictionary doing on your desk instead of a bottle, Joe?} [ 12-03-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]</p>

Yes, stop shooting. That's your limo ride home from the airport.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: young Johnnie Walker...FOR SURE a twit. <hr></blockquote> Joe, young Johnny is no longer on OUR side, now is he? How does a kid named after such good booze go so wrong? Stuka’s characterization of Flossie was at least succinct if not compendious.

Hey, he's your countryman. Aren't you glad he's on your side?

People commonly make the mistake that their hardware is to blame. It’s not necessarily the case. As a draftsman for 20 years here is what works: 1. Check that your computer table is the right height. Very important. You should be able to rest your whole arm on the table. A CAD station is best. You can build one for 30 bucks. 2. A comfy chair. Height adjustable and reclinable. Buy a good one, it’s your butt. 3. Large clear monitor. Keeps you from leaning forward and squinting to see what’s going on. Dim the lights too, causes eyestrain. Now you can justifiy that 22” monitor, guys. After that just about any input device works fine. A bowling type brace from the doc will help until the pain goes away after about a month.

It been a long weekend chasing drunkin women. If I hadn’t been so plastered myself, I might have caught more than one. Remember lads, no matter what she says, drinking two bottles of red wine at 4 A.M. will make you pay a very dear price indeed the next day. Once the asperin kicked in, I was able to look at the tripe in my Inbox. So without further ado, Updates! Buzzsaw – After the longest game of ”Crodaburg” ever, Buzz finally made it inside the wire. Final score –Allied 51, Axis 46 – a stinkin DRAW! Truthfully, he had won it at the end, but the last couple of turns he lost too many of his own men. Shouldn’t be shelling your own side, Buzz. MrSpkr – We have just traded the first of many AFV’s. A Nashorn for a Super Pershing is a fair trade, isn’t it? CMplayer – Driving his two remaining Shermans around like they were Ferraris and complaining about ambushes. His few remaining squads decided they didn’t like my side of the river. Agua Perdido – The gamey rush for the city blocks is over. The gamey bitter fighting begins. If I missed anybody, you know what to do.

Juardis, you take that back.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by CombatGeneral: what ever happened to free speech and liberty and the right to sleep in the nude with popcorn and an old movie playing.<hr></blockquote> These would be enumerated in which Articles of the Constitution? Class? Anyone? Class?

The love child is your fiance? That’s just sick and wrong.

That’s priceless. Great job Patch.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Stalin's Organ: Looks like the resident orzytrayleannes are a bunch of pussies, so how about it Lardo - you stopped sulkin' 'cos of that last whipping I gave you yet?<hr></blockquote> Stalin, I agree with you about the latest crop of Antipods, however, the older ones are more like pansies, or daffodils, or maybe even daisies. Now for the whuppin. Are you refering to the QB that came down to a draw or “Jabo” or “Crodaburg”? Must be “Crodaburg”. You’ll be happy to know that Buzzsaw has finally managed to break the ring on turn 48 of 50. Of course, it might be going better for him if he would quit shelling his own troops. As there was no sign of an actual “Challenge” in your post, you may go to the Scenario Depot, write reviews on every one of Andreas’s scenarios, and then come back with a suitable setup.

How about “THE PENG CHALLENGE, ABANDON ALL HOPE, YOU WHO ENTER HERE”. I could see Peng in Virgil’s role (a good guide through Hell, he’s experiencedl). And Seanachai could only be Dante (who else could go on and on for thirty-four Cantos). Of course, Berli should do the honors, it’s over his door after all. And Seanachai, Gentlemen never tell. Fortunately, I’m no Gentleman.

Hanns, since you are playing AussieJeff in “Jabo” already, send Cmplayer “ArtyFest ‘45”. I really want to see how that one was going to turn out. Besides, he’s beating me like a rug and soon I will have to wear his Mask of Shame. He deserves a little death from above. Or below. Or even sideways, I’m not picky. And as I sit here and glance owlishly at the half empty bourbon bottle, I see that it’s only nine years old. Hell, I have dirty socks older than that. On the bright side, it tastes better. And it IS still half full.

I have returned. Two days of driving through a typical Minnesota Blizzard. 29 inches of Snow, 50 mph Winds, and Thunder and Lightning to truly let you know you’re in the deep ****e now. To top it off, the State Patrol closed the highway BEHIND me. Thanks for letting me know guys, you’re the best. I kinda wondered why I didn’t see anyone those last two hours on Monday night. Damn civil servants. Nothing but feckin’ Tourists and Truck Drivers on the highway. These idjits drove like AussieJeff posts. There must be over three hundred trucks in the ditch between here and Fargo. Except for the two numbnuts who managed to jacknife their rigs across the road. If you see a Semi in Minnesota in the winter with a Rebel flag on the grill, just get the hell out of the way. You can laugh later. About ten miles down the road, to be exact. I lost count of the cars, probably because you couldn’t really see them anymore. Should slow down the newbie scum for awhile. They will be digging out for days. Then again, maybe they froze to death. Turns will go out tonight, right after I reacquaint myself with my dearly missed bottle of Bourbon. {edited cuz I'm damn tired} [ 11-28-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Originally posted by Shaw: Sir Lars can advise me and I'll determine if the battle is acceptable.<hr></blockquote> Sorry for the delay on this one, Bauhaus and Shaw. I have two more days of driving though blizzard conditions before I am safely back behind my home machine. Should put me in a good mood, don’t ya think? [ 11-26-2001: Message edited by: Lars ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by AussieJeff: snip<hr></blockquote> Aaugh! Aussie Grog Porn. Now, I have just sent Hanns a little scenario called ArtyFest '45. Supremely play balanced by Shaw and MrSpkr. You should have a chance right up until you pull your finger out of your nose and hit the "GO" button, AssyJefe. Hanns, we expect frequent action reports on this one. And be careful around the GrandLiege (that whole "bad touch" thing, ya know).

Shaw, Hanns lives close enough for me to go down and personally put the *BOOT* in (never forget the*BOOT* (see, I did learn something)), he works in a bar (a deviant bar, but a bar nevertheless (really learning things now!)), and he writes better than most of the SSN scum that troll through here (most SSN’s are nuggets that should be passed on (or just passed)). Plus, he doesn’t seem to like Australians. An easy choice for Squirehood. Seanachai apparently needs another foot soldier in his war on the Antipodes. To bad AussieJeff is such a wanker as to not post his email. Really says something about the average intellect down under. But then again, now we can just ignore the lad till he gets lost for the last time in the Outback.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Originally posted by Hanns: I hereby demand that Sally Struthers be airlifted (err.... towed behind a bunch of boats) immediately to Ozztraulia where she can film touching commercials exposing the plight of these unfortunates. <hr></blockquote> For this Hanns, I shall take you for Squire. Three great ideas here. We get rid of that fat cow Sally, the Aussies get caught on film, and the Kiwis will be so horrified they will start donating prettier sheep to help their pitiful neighbors out. Hanns, for your first task as Squire, beat AussieJeff about the ears until he quits refering to his dangly bits. <blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Originally posted by some idjit from a lost continent (and it’s lost for a reason, dangit): Instead, try a healthy dose of unadulterated Aussie red beef - it is undoubtedly much better for you. <hr></blockquote> With you around I doubt it’s unadulterated. What is it with Aussies and livestock anyway? They’re starting to make the Greeks look normal.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai: When (or, perhaps, if) I am banned, the people should probably know why. Go Army! <hr></blockquote> Of course you should be banned, you're supposed to root for Navy!

One of my favorites: Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict, Sir, that you will die either by hanging or of some vile disease". Disraeli replied, "That all depends, sir, upon whether I embrace your principles or your mistress."

Runyan, it's my old video card, a Viper V550. It doesn't support directx8. If I turn down the performance under control panel, then CM runs without locking. Time for a new video card!

I feel your pain, mensch. I wouldn't have touched the damn thing but the damn program I was running went and installed it. According to Microsoft's website the 8.0a is for win95/98. The 8.1 is for 2000 and XP. What do you think my chances are for a bug fix from these clowns?

Berli, pairing up Bill Gates and Microsoft was your best match since the mosquito and malaria, take a bow. Shandorf, ya idjit, of course it’s the effing video drivers. The fix is to download the latest. What they didn’t take into account is that it is an older video card (Diamond Viper V550). So I already have the latest because they don’t write newer drivers. What, they expect me to go buy a effing new video card AND sound card just to run the lastest bug filled piece o’ crap DirectX8.0a? Note the a. Who in their right mind writes software for the first build of anything and expects it to work. Especially when an older version of DirectX would have worked just fine. I’m so pissed I’m going hunting. I hope good old Bill deer hunts. Or maybe I’ll just post his picture 200 yards downrange. Something is going to die this weekend. Watch out western Minnesota, a Cesspooler is coming with a full load of ammo, a bottle, and a bad attitude…

Whatever you pack of mewling idjits do, do not install DirectX 8.0a. It will mess your damn CM games up. Thank you f@*king Microsoft. On second thought, you should all install it.