Lars

After wiping the floor with AussieJeff's British Airborne 87 to 13, I sent him "The Bloody Causeway". Think he'll like it?

I have to disagree, I'm currently playing a 25 turns ME PBEM and on turn 15, i occupy all VLs and I still didn't see any ennemy force. Looks like my partners prefers to hear birds singing instead of war explosions ans shouting...</font>

Semi Hungover Game Updates: Berli: Does not like Panthers on his flank. Busy wishing that his halftracks had highway gears and smoke projectors. Iskander: I hates him. Should be transported to Oz land, but apparently I’ll have to settle for a slow boat to Shanghai. Agua Perdido: No files. Evidently he’s trying to find out whether or not a e-mail file can actually gather dust. OGSF: Sending out for another Stuart. Meanwhile, I’m demonstrating proper fire safety techniques by firing ‘shrecks indoors. MrSpkr: No files. Bound and gagged by law clerks as a pre-emptive measure? Hanns: Will be writing a little tome titled “The Lost Platoon”. Has rather ruined a nice M4 with a faust. I’ll do him for that. Noba: His Ubertots are bravely running away. Is about to find out if 105 VT really is better than sex. AussieJeff: Beaten like a red-headed stepchild caught stealing your beer money. Really, Seanachai, you lose to these people? For shame. They even tag “kaput” on to the end of the file to help you keep them straight. Will be sending him another setup because I enjoy kicking a man when he’s down.

AAaargh,

Up in the northland we take pride in the fact that gravity never freezes. [ January 31, 2002, 11:32 PM: Message edited by: Lars ]

After three hours with my tax accountant my loathing for life, the I.R.S., and all of you has reached a new level.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Lorak: The Cesspool page.... what to do, what to do. While away I had time to think on the posting of wins and loses. The more I think about it... the more I think it flys in the face of what we stand for. It has ceased to be fuel for taunting, and more a form of a cheep ladder. So I am thinking of just keeping a list of our names, ranks(haha) and the picture area. Comments or suggestings? <hr></blockquote> List just the losses. That'll show the Outerboards.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Wildman: Great your Morman Hippieness. Now that you've manage to outline this simple process, yet again! You could persuade that the sweedish chef in the black laytex, Lars, to stop self-flagilation and finish our setup.<hr></blockquote> The setup was made with great haste and at the last minute because I did not wish to waste my time on the likes of you. Forwarded to Marlow who was to purchase your forces, but I presume he didn’t wish to waste his time on you either. Have him check his trash. Now he may have sent it off to Shaw, in which case the mystery is solved. I know Joe. He certainly doesn’t have the time to waste on the likes of you. {not edited because this post has 100% of your recommended daily allowance of bile}

Helpful Hints from the Weekend: Hic) Never drink out of a bottle if you can’t read the label (although Berserkja should have been a clue). Ouch) Never attempt a plumbing job with a hangover. (hcuO Damn) Never try to serve legal papers on someone who is still in Detox.

Help, I'm drunk. What the heck does "Berserkja Brennivinin" mean? All I know is it's from Iceland and and it works. [ 01-25-2002: Message edited by: Lars ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hanns: To my most noble and kind Liege, Sir Lars, uhh... turns being sent right away your lordship. Is there anything else I can do? Kick a few SSNs in the teeth or somefink? Figure out a way to draw and quarter Donkeydumb using hamsters? Hanns<hr></blockquote> See, I told you abject groveling works. When you get a squire of your own, be sure to inflict it upon him at every opportunity. And never spare the Boot. Now if you really want to do me a favor, you can come over and b*tch-slap one of my tenants. Seems she decided last night was a good time to get drunk and beat up her children. For the rest of you lot (and Hanns, you’re welcome to hit them too), turns will go out after this situation has been resolved.

Game Updates: The following festering piles of fish guts need to send a turn! Iskander: No files, finish the bottle and hit “GO” will you, the ice in my drink is melting. Agua: No files. Has the time to waste himself on one of Panzer Leader’s scenarios, however. Knowing the pain that must have caused almost makes up for the wait. MrSpkr: No files. Hopefully he’s been put under a gag order, incarcerated in Gitmo, flown from a flag pole, and has Brian for legal counsel. Noba: No files. Must still be upset about the loss of his AT gun. Has decided to pester animals instead. Now for the piles of dog vomit who actually play. Berli: We have traded halftracks for Stuarts. If he would lash his Legions of the Damned forward faster, the fun could really begin. OGSF: Edge hugger. Need I say more? Hanns: Threatens the use of “rickets”. You would think that a bouncer in a S & M bar knows about hugging the belt. AussieJeff: Has a strange prediliction for blowing up buildings. I suspect he was abused as a child and as a adult. Rightly so, I might add. His gamey buy of “Brits trying to be French by wearing Red Berets” are either fleeing in terror at the sight of my Ubertruppen or in horror at the incompetent way they are led, I haven’t decided which yet.

Justicar, “Real Life” unfortunately impinges upon my abilities to act as your second. Sir Marlow has graciously sent a few scenarios for perusal. If the setup I sent does not meet with your approval, please advise and I shall select one of Marlow’s. However, due to the constraints upon my time, it may not make it’s way to you until after the weekend. Your loyal Court Bailiff, Lars

Hanns, In the future you shall stay away from all such grog porn threads. ***BOOT*** Now send a turn, dangit.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hanns: Well, I probably stepped in it this time. I'd say nice knowing you sacks of regurgitated incestuous flaming arse bandits but truth be told I'd rather have a case of weeping Croda sores on my bum than say somefink like that. The Mad Bald One will be crushing me like the acne oilwells you gits call faces for remarks on another thread. Goodbye drool world! To sleep, perchance to dream of CM:BB........... Hanns<hr></blockquote> Jeez, a Knigget steps out for a drink and look what happens. What the heck did you do Hanns? Post a link or somefink. Squires these days, why in my day...{grumble, grumble} And remember, abject groveling will get you everywhere. ***BOOT***

Same as any other battle. Depends on the number of forces involved. On a Huge battle the biggest I've seen is 2 Meg (lottsa shooting going on!). Generally 150 K to 600 K. Zip the files for easy e-mailing.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: This is not to be tolerated and I demand satisfaction upon the field of honor. I shall ask my former Squire, the noble Sir Lars to act for me in this matter. Name your second, Sir, that the affair may commence and HONOR shall be restored.<hr></blockquote> The setup as been sent to Sir Marlow, my erstwhile Liege. Good Luck. {not that you'll need any} [ 01-23-2002: Message edited by: Lars ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna: What the hell is a Persephone by the way?<hr></blockquote> Always nice to see a lizard with a classical education.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: You know the dignity of the Justicariate really isn't in keeping with a job title of Large, Vicious, Amoral Thug, I've no objection to that as a job DESCRIPTION mind, but the title should be something more fitting. Sergeant at Arms perhaps ... hmmm, that would mean that I'd actually have to learn how to spell Sergeant or look it up each time I sent Hanns out to brea ... uh inform a miscreant of his misdeeds. Suggestions lads?<hr></blockquote> Hanns –savage, brute, ruffian, barbarian, caitiff, desperado, bully, rough, hooligan, hoodlum, tough, plugugly, hellion, murderer, killer, cutthroat, butcher, villain, rascal, knave, scalawag, rogue, badman, rowdy, Apache, white slaver, felon, delinquent, troublemaker, black sheep, blackguard, ne’er-do-well, triggerman, gorilla, hood. Need any more Shaw? {I kinda like white slaver}

Wittman would be so disappointed in you. He has a reputation to keep up you know.

It's not a campaign, but a series of battles. Keeps you from blowing the whole wad on the first battle as your force will have to last you till the end.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Boob: Not a clue.<hr></blockquote> The first post, read the first friggin post! I realize it was written by Panzer Leader but do try again. Or not.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iron Chef Sakai: Is it possible to do player vs player campaigns?<hr></blockquote> Yes, I have about five PBEM operations going right now.

Boo, try an Operation for real fun. "A Day in the Calvery" as Allies would probably be just right for you at this stage.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: Its all amateurish and original. Opinions?<hr></blockquote> Hiram pays a visit to his doctor. Hiram - “Doc, my unit is orange.” The doctor runs many test but comes up totally perplexed. Finally he asks Hiram a few questions. Doc - “Do you work in a chemical plant?” Hiram - “No.” Doc - “Do you work at a nuclear reactor?” Hiram - “No.” Doc - “Well, what do you do?” Hiram - “I’m unemployed. I just sit around the house all day in the nude, watching porn and eating Cheetos.”