Stuka
-
Posts
4,997 -
Joined
-
Last visited
Posts posted by Stuka
-
-
The Kitchen Sink Mk4 with nebelwerfen smoke thingys and Schurzen.
-
Thats Mrs Herr Obers to you, Menschy-frankenfurter!
Now go back to designing more smilies, how about one in frilly underwear? (I know how you like that sort of thing).
You sicko Krauto-Canuckian.
------------------
Torture you? That...That's a good idea.
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Roborat:
Would this be my knnoiggitt qualification match??
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
No it is bloody not a kniggett qualification match!
Do you think those are just handed out like sick-bags at your family BBQ's? No Siree Mr RotaryRat, its not that easy, dark and mysterious powers must ponder and judicate over your pathetic mewling for the honour and priveledge of even being thought about being even considered for the outside chance of selection for a squire's joust.
As it stands, you are somewhere down the back of the que behind some fat kid who wears glasses and eats paste, and I dare say he'd be chosen for a knigget challenge ahead of you.
Now go bury your head in the sand so I've got somewhere to park my bike.
------------------
Torture you? That...That's a good idea.
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:
Let me understand this, your mother's maiden name was Panzerkampfwagen* V?
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Ugh! For the terminally brain-damaged amongst us...'The commander of the tank's name'
------------------
Torture you? That...That's a good idea.
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Moriarty:
Take a lesson here Squire Stuka and make your opponents scream,
Go forth in gore, young Squire.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Kniggett stoush update for the benefit of my knight.
"Begging to report Sir, that fog sucks"
'How so, gentle squire'
"Well Sir, I can't see bugger all at 28m visibility"
'Use the force Stuk..use the force'
"Righty-o then your Moryartness, I'll give that a whirl"
For the amusement of the Kniggethood, here's a little report on the last move..
In 28m vis, A Crodan SP gun has moved up a foggy street and bumped into a H/T and assault howitzer parked side by sidein the said street. The H/T was shoved backwards by the force of the impact before the driver crunched into reverse and pissed off quick. The howitzer and SP are now parked directly next to each other and the turn ends with the howitzer beginning to traverse its turret towards the SP....I expect mutual destruction within 2 sec of the next movie.
Elsewhere on the field of gloom, squads of both nationalities continue to bury their noses deeper into the wet earth, counting down their 3 minute response times before panicking all over again.
"Never in the field of human conflict has so little been done by so many to so many others"
Other games:
Peng; Bugs the ****e out of me with his torching of every building in town.
OGSF; I fear another thrashing coming on, as long as I score better than 9 this time, I'll have done well.
Mensch; Tit(oops, sorry ladies)for tat demolition of each other's armour leaves little room for brilliant strategy at this stage.
Von Scared; After picking myself up off the floor following that hilarious J-O 87 post, I decided it prudent to just hammer all his armour into flat discs for sparky the company dachshund to play frisbee with. One shot-one kill against his Pershing from the Panther bearing my mother's germanic maiden name,{Sniff, I'm so proud}, leaves me in a comfortable position. [sit down, all of you!]
Roborunt..I have called ahead and pre-booked a mass grave for your troops ahead of an impending challenge, en garde!
Mace..Same for you, only with knobs on.
------------------
Torture you? That...That's a good idea.
-
No way! 6!, poor,poor, kitty.
Come hither.
{stroke, stroke}
-
It was a clear day, dry conditions.
He was giving me a bit of a hammering when he decided to move the Tiger forwards, I had no defenses against it in the area and I thought, "well thats it then", suddenly the Tiger just stops and the opponent says it has a 'mechanical failure', I was'nt shooting at it and it shouldn't have got bogged so I can only take him at his word.
It would be nice to get an official word on this one.....
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:
That said, wouldn't it be funny if Stuka had loud sirens on his undercarriage...
David<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Well, as it happens, David you have hit the nail right on the head.
I am an avid nude skydiver and as such I have found that if I clench my left buttock tightly during the free-fall, while thinking a slightly naughty thought in order to place just the required amount of tension on the old scrot-sack, and by waving the mighty sword in a clockwise direction at appoximately 820 R.P.M, I am in fact able to produce a loud wwooowooowoWOOWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
In fact only recently I dived at 15,000 ft over an elderly polish person's picnic and when I landed, they had formed a people's militia, dug a system of trenches, cunningly created home made MP 40's out of plastic forks and paper plates, and proceeded to area fire me with potatoe salad....
Why do you think I chose the "Stuka" handle, people? Jeez!
------------------
Torture you? That...That's a good idea.
[This message has been edited by Stuka (edited 11-10-2000).]
-
Here menschy,!
Search Broomies cavity with this coconut shell, I've got a spare....
-
Just because I'm a caring, sharing kinda squire, I'll let you in on a personal secret..
The first record I ever bought was Pat Benatar's "Live from Earth" and my first single was UK Squeeze's "Cool for Cats"
What skeletons have you guys got in the closet? Or are ya too embarressed to admit to your first record purchase?
The first CD was Urge Overkill's "Saturation", now that still gets a run in the Cd stacker..
**Caring, sharing mode off**
I flare both nostrils and my butt-cheeks at you all. {Sit Down, etc, etc}
------------------
Torture you? That...That's a good idea.
-
Oh people, please...your'e all showing your age now. Lets try and keep a little more up to date shall we, hum?
Try some techno metal to revive your aging eardrums.
A dash of 'Rammstein' should do the trick..
------------------
Torture you? That...That's a good idea.
-
If I was an American voter, I would be happier seeing one guy get the lions share of the votes.
That way, you know most of the people approve of him, so it's a fair chance he is the best man for the job.
With almost a 50-50 result,its equally possible that each guy is only half up to the task.
Just my thoughts....
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mensch:
sqeek is much about all they can say but to a ferret squeek has many meanings.. like "hey thats my chew toy!" or "not tonight honey I got a headache". Other examples are "Jerry ahead 200m you can see his pointy head sticking out of the foxhole, you go around I'll sneek up on him and pee on his shoulder". The best advantage is the enemy does not know if the enemy ferret is not up for sex tonight or is wounded in the leg.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Well done, Menschy old bean!
Your most coherent post yet...Dangerously close to humour if I'm not mistaken.
A post such as this is proof positive of at least five neurons firing harmoniously together for a period of no less than than 0.5 nanoseconds, kudos to your therapist!
------------------
Torture you? That...That's a good idea.
-
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:
On the issue of what you should now consider gifting Stuka, I think you're confusing the terms "webpage" and "smack".
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Don't you go trying to smack me, kitty..I'm not into that kinky stuff.
Save it for the brylcream brigade, yes, they of the order of the wing-collar body shirt, crimpleen flares and brown suede shoes.
The very same ones who have crumbled so majestically into gooey piles of fawning lickspittles at the very mention of a hint of a possible sighting of a female in the thread.
I prefer my Martini's shaken, not stirred, and I flare a nostril at you all.......
------------------
Torture you? That...That's a good idea.
[This message has been edited by Stuka (edited 11-07-2000).]
-
Geez Grego,
Do a search! newbie, gumbo dweeb!
seriously though, I have no freekin idea what your'e talking about, a 6 pack of special brew will do that to you, plus some red wine but thats another story, hehe
Name the heretic that employs such tactics and I shall personally slay them for you! My word is my bond, my bond is my promise, my promise is not to be trusted, and anything I say is not to be taken in vain against me, so sayeth the lord...burrrp!.
-
tsk,tsk, why can't everybody just get along?
If the whole world just had a few cones, a packet of nice chocolate biscuits and some spinny videos to watch, there would be no war, just a whole bunch of folk heading on down to makkas to stock up on french fries and McNuggets.
(Ever tried dipping the fries in the chocolate sundae sauce? umm,umm, give it a go some time
)Stuka: Pioneering the way towards world peace.
-
Correction: So much time on their one hand, the other hand is busy fantasising about kitty....
------------------
Torture you? That...That's a good idea.
-
I gotta agree with kiwi joe on the no flags option.
I've often thought just a simple 'search and destroy' QB would be a refreshing alternative to the VL situation.
------------------
Torture you? That...That's a good idea.
-
Question: If you cross Red Russians with white Russians, do you get pink Russians?
------------------
Torture you? That...That's a good idea.
-
It hasn't happened to me but an opponent in a recent pbem reported that his tiger became immobilised with the report of 'mechanical failure'
Anyone else seen this?
-
What if the target has 'skirts'?
I would hope my 'hollow charge' would still achieve multiple penetration.....
Would the target still want a cuddle afterwards?
BTS, please fix or do somefink!
-
Weehoo! No set ups for me to do for a change!
Come on boys, get 'im in fast..Uncle stukies thirsty for some whoop ass...
Thats whoop your ass not mine, of course...
------------------
Torture you? That...That's a good idea.
-
{Stumbles in over the trench wall, helmet and rifle in hand, filthy with the black earth of the CC5 land}
"Begging to report to the 'pool, details of sneak raid to the CC5 land"
Go ahead, brave and honourable soldier.
"Its dark sir, all black and khaki. Strange voices echo through the gloom. I heard a gefreiter dirtbag and someone called feature, I think they were mating, sir"
Hmmm {furrowed brow, hand on chin}
"Do we attack sir? I've still got half the platoon taking up positions there, Seenoochy, Peng and meeks are reporting back with the enemy's movements..."
I'm taking this news higher, soldier. This is serious, very serious indeed. Your unit will be mentioned in despatchs for this action.
{Officer turns and splashes off in the direction of higher authority}
-
Who does the initial setup?
Was there a rule about that?
Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public
in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)
Posted
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by von shrad:
How will you ever tell her that the Panther in question is being overrun by my Sherm 105 and 2 Platoons of infantry as we speak.
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>
Dear Von Scrotum, poor dear Von Scrotum, you silly, silly boy!
Overrun! overrun you say..muhahahaha! Your 2 platoons (thats the 'overrunning' ones) are busy ratting through their kit for clean toilet paper and burn cream as we speak. The Flammpanzer parked out front of their slightly sindged building has them well under control, Mom's Panther is backing the F/thrower up nicely thanks to the smoke screen you so very thoughfully provided and my gerbiljaegers are quite comfortable thank you very much, in their nice heavy building.
I figure I should spoil the surprise for you now as I doubt you can figure it out for yourself. Ask your 105 commander to look behind him... you see that Hetzer? Yes, thats it, the same Hetzer that is even now loading a rather heavy, brass, shiny thing to belt up his clacker at high velocity.
That would be your last AFV I beleive.
Lets do a little Stooky inventory shall we?
Hmm, lets see:
2x Panthers, check
1x Flammpanzer, check
1x Assault H/T, check
1x Hetzer, check
1x Mk 4 panzer, check
plus assorted hamsters
Ohh, dear me, things aren't so rosy are they?
Please don't surrender just yet, I wish to enjoy squeezing you like an infected blackhead, just to hear you go "Pop!"
------------------
Torture you? That...That's a good idea.