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Stuka

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Posts posted by Stuka

    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    I wish to put forward a proposal of a 2 minute silence for the heroic survivors of Kampfgruppe Stuka, who even as we speak are holed up Stalingrad style in a wooded hillock far on the left flank of my front. Completely cut off and surrounded by the black hordes of the AoP, their armour knocked out and facing 2 A/C's, an unidentified tank and a mass of infantry they bravely battle on without hope of a releif column. I have promoted Leutnant Gerbil to Field Marshall and issued orders to fight to the last bullet......

    [2 minutes later..]

    By the bearded bum of beezlebub, Peng I hate you now! If you thought I hated you before that is nothing compared to now, bub!

    You are lower than the black goo that collects under the toenails of a bacteria that inhabits the lower colon of a flea which spends it life wedged firmly in the buttcrack of a dung beetle!

    As of this moment my champion aryan-hamsters have removed the powder from their ammo and will now place the bullets against the bodies of your men and hammer them in!

    You will not know peace until the last waft of flatulence escapes the decomposing ring pieces of your troops.

    No more Mr Nice Stuka!

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    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    Dear Pengy-doolittle and FOSG

    Is it OK with you pair of old whingers if I can get home from work before sending your returns?

    Its dodgy enough posting this crap from the office, let alone attempting to satisfy your insepid blood-lust for files by risking my hugely overpaid job...

    Go play with yourselves for another hour and a half and all will be well my dears.

    ------------------

    Torture you? That...That's a good idea.

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    The WORST war movie.

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    Worst film of all time?

    Kelly's Heroes!

    [Ducks brickbats]

    I mean, really. If its a comedy/war spoof then fine, but damn.

    Flower power hippy love children in a 1944 combat zone?.. yeah right.

    Supposedly veteran SS Tiger company with no sentries or patrols ? Sure.

    One US bullet knocks down 2 germans while a whole german clip will only kick up dust around the heroic, wisecracking US soldiers feet. Seen it before.

    I for one would be ******* bricks if I were far behind enemy lines, rather than laying out in the sun catching "some rays,baby"

    Just my 2 cents worth so please ignore.

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    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    Nice update to the Cesspool page, Lorak. Especially my photo above the squire listing, aren't I handsome?

    Hang on! Compliments in the cesspool? Wait a sec..........

    [back in cesspool mode..] What a totally lame site Lorak! You couldn't design a website if a gun was held to your favourite chinchilla's head.

    There, thats better.

    Peng update; In the only pbem move worthy of mention I wish it known that Peng lies. While bleating yesterday about the gang bashing of an Infantry squad by several of my SS Hamstertruppen, the lowly one negated to mention that behind this squad was 3 or 4 more units of heavily armed Brits plus an A/C. So no more expressions of condolence or vows of solidarity with the downtrodden freedom fighters of the AoP if you please.

    Send them instead to the survivors of Kampfgruppe Stuka....

    ------------------

    Torture you? That...That's a good idea.

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    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    You hear that funny noise, Croda old pal, Old Squire me lad, matey, pal, buddy type compatriot?

    Yes its the psuedo Knigget Mensch, strutting around the pool like a viagra engorged rooster. Big talk often requires big results to back it up, lets check shall we?

    [crossing live to the Lorak site]

    Hmmm, Mensch...ahh here we are...0/0/0/?!?!!

    Whats this? a preened, powdered, nattily outfitted rooster, crowing about his future conquests like a half drunk 14 year old {Sit DOWN, Peng!}

    Well the proof is in the pudding ladies and gentlehamsters, and the moment my brave texan boys have clogged up Mensch's Tigers' air intake with their entrails I'll be sure to let ya'll know about how this fine feathered germanadian has been brought down a peg or two.

    ------------------

    Torture you? That...That's a good idea.

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    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    LORAK,you are insane aren't you?

    You must be mad as a march hare thats been staked out in the sun, beaten senseless, forced to listen to Bryan Adams records until its ears bleed while watching a continous loop of Oprah Winfrey's anti-cellulite exercise video.

    How, and I'll repeat this in case your ears are still ringing, HOW have you managed to credit that heathen Mensch with Kniggetthood?

    He couldn't manage a double figure score against his own wife for ****'s sake.

    I smell a rat and thats pretty amazing considering the company we keep in here.

    Two of the bravest squires ever to bang coconut shells together (myself and Croda)are about to meet in bloody and merciless combat for the mere pleasure of the knighthood and here is a pansy_assed ex patriot Canuck enjoying the priveledges of membership of the 'hood. And with a game record of 0/0/0 to boot!

    You two have to be related.

    Explain yourself young man, or send me a set up, whichever is the least taxing upon your grey matter.

    ------------------

    Torture you? That...That's a good idea.

    0

    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OGSF:

    Stuka: He comes on in the same old way, I will disembowel his deadthingsinacan the same old way.

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Hehe, just keep believing that Herr Over Grubby Telly Tubby, I have a plan so cunning I could pin a tail on it and call it a fox.

    It will of course involve lots of dead grey pixels clogging the tracks of my heroic khaki coloured tin thingys..

    Die horribly

    ------------------

    Torture you? That...That's a good idea.

    0

    Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

    in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

    Posted

    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrPeng:

    Alright, you nasty little bowl of pus. You sashay in here...you filthy, buggering nit...pop your PBEM cherry...worm...inanely and unselfconciously half-witted...sissy...make me sick...rip your head off and puke down your neck.

    Peng

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Ahhh, the gentle lilting tones of a vicious penging, music to my ears.

    Made particularly more appealing by consideration of the fact that it wasn't me on the receiving end for a change.

    PBEM Update

    Peng: Turn 3 I beleive and first blood has been drawn, on a flank far away from the town of VL's, on a hillock commanding a potentially important crossroad, Kampgruppe Stuka prepared for either an ambush of pengian armour or (if the coast was clear) a thrust around, behind and deftly into Peng's rear.(and we all love thrusting things into peng's rear don't we kids?)

    Amid the darkness and rain steely-eyed SS troopers and their supporting H/T move up into position....without warning a Brit A/C in top gear screams through the trees in a four wheel drift, this thing is flying! The flames painted down its sides and the fox tail on the aerial denoted it as an illegally hotrodded model (very gamey) and while dooing over 90mph it pops off 1 shot only and blows buggery out of said H/T...

    Ugh, things can only get better.

    OGSF: 2nd turn and contact made already. My US armour attack against Infantry defense will require some head-scratching as I know OGSF to be cunning as a ****e-house rat. His initial barrage of piffling 5 or perhaps even 6mm arty has succeeded only in rearranging the dust and causing one of my doughboys to spill his coffee.

    Croda: Turn 6 (yawn) still no contact, theres something irritating about french voices echoing through the fog.

    Mensch: After losing a squad and a half of Vet SS for only 2 reg US in the space of 15 seconds, he's decided that he doesn't have the ability to fight it out like a man and will rely on his trusty Tiger, the same tiger that has spent 15 turns perched on a hill in autofire mode, he's killed trees, bushes, empty buildings, dirt and a dachshund called phillip but bugger all else. Said Tiger is now creeping forward......

    Stay tuned for updates, same Stuka-time, same Stuka-channel.

    ------------------

    Torture you? That...That's a good idea.

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