Geier

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Hakko Ichiu: I like you. Make of that what you will. Hmm, is that in a culinary way? Or has my bombardment begun on your position in a way that satisfies your masochistic bent? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Gotcha. Next! ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

First off, let just say that you are all a useless bunch of bastards and I really hate you. Now then, then now, with all pleasantries out of the way I will address some of you gits in person: Boringhead: Considering the file was from me and considering the nasty things my computer tends to do when I'm not looking, it comes as no surprise that the file was corrupted. What did you expect? I might bother with sending you a new one tonight. Moriarty: Quit playing possum, I know you aren't really all that dead. Yet. In my own personal view of this overrated thing called reality you owe me a file. Dr CallmeAl: What are you doing? Send me the fragging file. Sheepshagger: Just keep doing whatever it is you are doing. I'm sure your plan is a good one. Dead sure. Hakko Ichiu: I like you. Make of that what you will. Gerbilbaby: Have we gotten the mother-beatiful mapofdeath and are you ready to die again? "Once more on to the brick wall, dear subordinates" ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy: I shall continue henceforth to renounce any speculation on dealings we may have had or continue to have in the public domain, seeing that it may damage my standing in the eyes of certain observers of a more soft-willed nature.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Whatever. Still, WE need to advertise and will continue to do so through our usual channels. We feel a certain... obligation to inform the populace that we do exist and that that sound from the closet in the middle of the night is exactly what you think it is. Sleep tight, The Old Firm

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy: Well at least it is not 'The Old Firm'. I was getting a bit scared there. Even the Witchking of Angmar would prefer not to have dealings with them...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hmmpf! As if he hasn't had dealings with us... There was that King of Arnor for example, and others too. Still, this is expected in our line of work, no recognition, no "haven't we met before" greetings. FYI, Confuse-A-Cat Ltd (and its subdivisions) are fully owned by the Old Firm and act mostly as our transport division. They do other things as well, but those are hard to explain. And not even remotely legal. The future killing and dismemberment of your troops will be fully operated by the Old Firm, seeing as we handle that part of all our Contracts. We aim to please. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Roborat: "With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal; In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Whoever these G&S fellows are they've gotten it all wrong. For a proper killing you just walk up to the murderee nice and casual-like and bite his head off. That's really all there is to it. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy: Geier: Arse! Feck! ****e! Nuns! Drink!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Zactly. So where is the mother-beautiful new and improved setup where I get the gerbils with all the lovely lovelies that go brrrapety-brrapp? Or do you want to recuperate and put your lungs back in first? You are soon to be worshipping at the altar of the great Jan Johansson as I've "dealt with" all the mailmen in the world. It's all in a days work for Confuse-A-Cat Ltd (The BeWilderbeast subdivision). ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hamsters: Speaking of people I don’t know, Geier is an enigma wrapped in a conundrum, covered in tinfoil, roasted in a smoldering pit of embers to be served later on a paper plate and eaten among friends on a rocky beach next to an airport junkyard on an island off the coast of Alaska while the thousand fires of the Aurora Borealis dance above. Send me a set-up, oh onion, so that I may peel the layers and discover who, exactly, you are. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You will have some trouble discerning "who" I am I fear. "What" I am is easier: I am the Maker of Dead Things, The Bogeyman, The thing that goes boom in the night, basically a multitude of hamsters worst fear. And that is all you need to know. Playing me will only result in the slaughter of all your men and will leave you as clueless as ever. So think again and then tell me if you really want a setup from me. P.S "If you gotta go, you might as well go wrapped in tinfoil." You got that part right. And the enigma/conundrum bit as well. Beautiful. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

As you all know I defeated the Master of Uselessness Gerbils Toy in a game that we played for three quarters of an eternity. What you don't know (and given your limited grasp of anything outside of your trousers that is a lot. Really.) is that it was a mother-beautiful game with the ending reaching almost Shakespearian levels. In short, everybody died. And there is beauty in that. The setup: The map was taken from the film "The foggy hill that God and everyone else forgot" and featured hills and trees and more trees. Almost no open ground. Just trees and hills with fog on top. And it was beautiful. Herr Gerbils had Veteran Gebirgsgerbils, dug in snugly in little hamsterholes, a full company it was, supported by a Veteran Gebirgsgerbil Heavy company. If you've met gebirgsgerbils you know that they have tons of lovely lovelies that go brrrap brrrrap whenever they spot you. Despite this, Herr Gerbils found new and interesting ways to get them killed and basically had no clue of what was going on. At one point he performed a glorious little counter-assault, killed some US hamsters and shouted with joy and glee. When he looked around him he discovered that the VL's were behind him. And my hamsters were suddenly between him and the VL's. That was also beautiful. The Forces of Depravity (that is my troops) consisted of a coy of US Hamsters from a potato field in Idaho, supported by a heavy coy and a platoon of the friendly neighborhood Engineer Hamsters (who smoked crack). End result: 16 Gerbils surrendered and were promptly treated to some interesting medieval encouragment methods. Everyone else was dead, blown to bits, barbecued on sticks, wounded in nasty places or deader than doornails. The 90 remaining Hamsters from Idaho feasted on the remains and sung "It's a long way to Tippers reary end". And that was also beautiful. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bullethead: The rest of you dingleberries can die of dropsey.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> What can I say? You are "OK" in my book. OOoops, sorry. It said "KO". My bad. In other news: Why bother? You know I'm winning in despicable and nasty ways in all my games anyway. And I heard/smelled of an upcoming squire joust? I am available to supply the forces for a side, yes. That would be beautiful. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer: I lost to a real sucky player by playing even suckier, boy do I suck. Good game <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> What kind of sick, twisted sack of dung are you? No, wait, I don't want to know. Let's go through this one more time: Rules of engagement a la Cesspool: 1. Don't lose. Seems only me and Elvis has grasped that one. 1a. If you lose, make sure it's not to Peng or your wife. 1b. If you lose, make sure to tell the world that your opponent is a)cheating. b)lying and you never played him. c)using ALL the OBVIOUS faults in the FLAWED CM engine to his advantage. d)chose an UNBALANCED scenario. e) all of the above and lots more. 1c If you lose, never ever state that your opponent played a "good game". What kind of sicko are you? Really. Get a grip. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>The witless fool known as DrAlimantado wrote by banging his forehead on the keyboard: That is the lamest apology for incometence I have heard for a long time.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That would be your own lame ass apology which will follow in about ten turns of our lesson. And it rather looks to me like you need a sponsor, if you want to be a Kanigget of the Pool. I'm willing to write up a Contract for you. Let it be known that I am the sponsor of the loon Dr Alimantado and he will under my tutelage rip the head off any would-be squire, as per the Rules of the Cesspool. So what do you say, you misfitted creation of a jellyfish? Not to worry, I'll still gouge your eyes out and use them as lollipops in our current game. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by DrAlimantado: Your so called artillery barrage is not killing anything, that is for sure.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sigh. I guess I'll have to explain it again to you as I've already explained it to Andreas. While making Dead Things with artillery is a great pasttime, and pwetty too, it is not always the only way to use it. Just think about it for a while OK? It is already too late for you to do anything anyway. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> And regarding the aestethic implications of my imagined death ... nothingness can be beautiful, but an imagined non-event is just a good reason to see a therapist.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Another good reason to see a therapist is to gnaw his face off and then pull his scrotum over his head. In my experience anyway. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer: oo i'm so goooood <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'll remind you of this in around 10-12 turns. Die-A-Lot-Now ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai: Geier, rip him up. I guess I hate you both, but that's about par for this thread. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> We are looking forward to the gross overuse of force, the pwetty splosions, the screams of terror and the quaint smell of cordite, blood and Dead Things all mixed together. It will be a mahvellous experience for all who happen to survive, simply mahvellous. In other games: Gerbils Toys troops has started to surrender, which is sad really since he only has 13 men who are left alive from one gebirgs coy and one gebirgs hvy coy. I, the rightful victor, has almost a whole platoon and some assorted mortars and mg's left. Pics of the carnage will be made available for your enjoyment later. Moriarty: There is something decidedly untrustwhorthy and deceitful about this fellow, what can I say, I like him. My method of crawling forward and dismembering anything I can see is working so far. Dr Al: He's Swedish, he's commanding soon-to-be Dead Things and it will be beautiful. PeterZNeezes: This one will be really beautiful and righteous. Can't wait to chew his face off. Ta-ta, all you lovely lovelies ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I think if you can order a platoon to charge a machinegun or flamethrower hehe.. you should be able to tell them to risk exposing themselves.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> If it's nighttime... the rules are different. I've had Regular squads panic just moving over open ground without receiving any fire. 47 meters at night... if you have low clouds and no moon I doubt you could make out much more than a vague shape at that range. Plus if they had height, they wouldn't even get a silhouette which would make it an almost impossible shot. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

Re the panzerschreck. Was the team in command and supported? Otherwise firing a schreck at night is a great way to say: "Here we are!" The willingness to fire if exposed is minimal in this situation. What if you miss? And night + fog is no ideal condition to hit anything in. Re the faust boys. I never count on any unit firing a faust, especially if they are inside a building. I personally would never ever fire a RCL weapon indoors. I like my hair and skin the way it is. My two cents anyway. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Fruityhead: So, it is to be war between us.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sure. If you want to call a one-sided slaughter ending with the total annhilation of your troops along with the crucufixion of what remains of their souls "war", then war it is. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> As expected. I knew the buttmunching hairballs of the Cesspool would never peacefully submit to cleaning their ungodly mess from the moat of my fortress.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The "moat" is placed inside of the "walls" you syphilitic crossdresser (sit down Goanna) and would by any sentient creature be named a "lavatory". The "fortress" is 1. Not bloody yours, it's the domain of Mayhesorta Blow, and 2. a "fortress" that couldn't (and wouldn't) stop a Canadian pissant. And there is no power this side of the one we don't speak to who could clean up this mess anyway. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Fortunately, Bullethead's Brigands are already mobilized on the interplanar boundary, fully equipped with hazmat suits and Chloroxthrowers. Prepare to meet your well-deserved and unmourned end. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Better carbon-based (I am giving you the benefit of the doubt) lifeforms than you have tried. ALL have failed. The interplanar causeways are heavily mined and I've got TRP's all over. Chloroxthrowers huh? Using weapons banned by every authority in all the planes are we? I like that. Let's dance, Johan [This message has been edited by Geier (edited 10-16-2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bullethead: ...I am a very nasty person...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh joy! We have company and it smells bad too! If anyone dares to order him to have to play for membership/kaniggittihood I'll sponsor him any day of the week. Heck, I'll even play him myself. BH. Since knowing e-fighting won't save your happy butt in CM I will gladly dismember, annul, exhume and cancel you. And then I'll send you a turn. Any particular uniform you like dying in? Better yet, send me a setup with whatever as long as its not more than 1500 points. 155mm at twenty paces. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sheepthingie from made-up country: And bloody sorry you should be! Couldn't take 5 minutes out of your busy moose-fondling comitments to open a file and send it back? Goodness me!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> And his next "post" (now to Andy-I-wish-Sealion-had-worked) contained the following wisdom: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>blabla bla some of us have work to do, (yes, real work, not that playing with the environment mumbo-jumbo) and that work entails having to stay here till bloody late and being tired and going to bed early. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It is now Saturday night and I still haven't seen any files from Mr SheepishNZ. If I didn't know better I would call him a scared little chicken. But we all know him as our terrified little sheep. Bääää! Bääääh! Btw, has anyone seen what two 9cm RCL AT guns can do to a moose from 500 meters? I have. Pwetty. Even with just concrete shells. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PeterNZer: Geier: Sent a file, no reply. Damn swedes. PeterNZ<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh my. So sorry for working and having a life. I'll quit this instant and send you my reply later tonight. Now sod off and enjoy your last moments. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy: Glad I could oblige Johan, I have made it my mission in life to assist the brain-damaged and incapable.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Good. Even if it's a bit of the blind leading the blind, I'm glad you´ve found something to fill your hours with. Your proposal for a rematch is scoffed at but accepted. I will post my AAR when I have finished playing flesh-carpenter with the remains of your men. Good day and hugs all around, ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy: Geier, you charismatic, brilliant Swedish mastermind! Your bloody email was delivered to me last night only and I responded immediately. Now after not sending a turn for what seems like ages to accuse me of stalling is rich. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I have not accused you of stalling. I have accused you of conveniently forgetting to convey your lack of progress in our game on this thread. That you are unable to handle an email account and have to run to grandmommy ever so often has not been mentioned. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> The only surrender you'll see from me is the autosurrender. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Which suits me fine. I have never had the opportunity to kill every enemy soldier in a game before. Thanks for the opportunity. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> But I know you will weep at the damage your copious amounts of arty did (none). <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Not so. It did what I intended it to do. Make you stay cowering where you were. And kiddo, newsflash! A victory is a victory and a DEFEAT is a DEFEAT. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Kanonier Reichmann: Ermmm, this is called censorship. I would have thought most Americans who pride themselves in their constitution for the right to freedom of speech would object to such a suggestion.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Thank ye gods for the Americans (and your constitution) then. Us other oppressed and censored people would have nowhere to go if it wasn't for you. Seriously, this is a private board and the owners can run it however they want. I agree with you that deleting posts is no good, mostly because the evidence for banning someone will disappear, enabling individuals to come back and claim they were "mistreated". It is fine the way it is imo. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

Get your butt down to Göteborg so we can talk. And drink. I'll remember to pester you if they ever let me go to The City. Maybe we can catch an AIK game as well then? Sweden: We may be small, insignificant and a bit pointless but we have a CM beta tester and that is enough. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett

So this means that the fight for the right to thread (where angels well, just don't go) will be decided by a fight between two Krusty the clown wannabees who has both LOST TO PENG???? What a great matchup... And I don't care anyway. This one has Peng in the title and was started by that incompetent canuck-hugging bard and already has two more pages than the other one. Andreas, good to see that you conveniently "forgot" our game. Is there possibly a file with the word "surrender" in it in my inbox? Have you called 1-800-ISUCKROCKSEVENIFYOUGIVEMEGEBIRGSJÄGERS yet? The rest of you lot, sod off. ------------------ Johan "The succesful execution of a well devised plan often looks like luck to saps." Dashiell Hammett