Seanachai

Well, no problems, then. We'll just have some sort of constitutional crisis during an incarnation that I started, and Mad Bald Guy will supposedly give Panzer Leader the right to start the next Thread, after which he admits to some of the most loathsome musical predilictions to ever be posted here. (and Panzer Leader, it won't do any good to claim your remark was in jest. If it was a joke, it was as appreciated as child molester humour at a PTA meeting.) Now I find...what, I ask myself? Slapdragon elevated to Knight, bypassing all normal conditions, on the word of Berli. What the hell? When I proposed jumping the bastard to Knight, there was a hideous uproar. I believe instant elevation to Knight is something that only a unanimous vote of the Olde Ones could bring to pass. Even then, we're on shaky ground. Well, I won't oppose his elevation, even though he left our game hanging for weeks while he sought to get all his ducks in a row regarding national defense, or his DUI defense, it's hard to tell from his emails what was going on. Well, enough on this issue. It is done with, especially as Peng is still busy playing at 'Rebecca of Microsoft Farm', and won't be available for a while longer until Berli and I wrestle him into some kind of therapy program. And Berli isn't being at all helpful, he just keeps chuckling and mumbling something about 'power'. Never share an administrative slot with someone who, at the Beginning of Time, sought to overthrow the Supreme Creator. They tend not to be 'team players', and their personal agenda is scary as hell. [ 01-12-2002: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Panzer Leader: Hooray, free at last! There will be debauchery in the streets! Liquor for all! Pass around the spleef and turn up the Kenny Loggins, for now we can DANCE!<hr></blockquote> Christ on a Crutch, you listen to Kenny Loggins?!! You're not fit to live. I can't believe I had you to Squire.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Shandorf: Damn you Slap and your Foo-Foo drinks. Be a man and just drink from the bottle. It's not like being a beligerant drunk would hurt your social life in any meaningful way. Jeff<hr></blockquote> Once in a blue moon, Geoffrey, you make me laugh, and I remember why I haven't driven up to your hell-hole northern suburb and set your place on fire.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by mike8g: Here's a pic of a very high fire: One time only, could not reproduce it.<hr></blockquote> That's not a fire, that's a teleport beam. That, or the rapture. As to two headed Germans, those are northern Germans. Southern Germans have stripes and horns.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: Sir Seanachai, I am sorely disappointed. I am standing in the place of Lorak. .<hr></blockquote> Who's standing in you place while you posture here, your cat? <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: Lorak was defending our homeland while you were reading poetry to your house plant. <hr></blockquote> No house plants. Tend to kill plants, I'm afraid. Often within hours. It's discouraged me from trying pets. <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: It was he who braved the risers and parachutes while you were sitting in your bathrobe watching the Arts and Entertainment channel.<hr></blockquote> Sorry, don't get cable. What's a bathrobe? <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: Do you know what it takes to do the required amount of push-ups, sit-ups, and the correct time for the two mile run? .<hr></blockquote> We're defended by the use of calisthenics? Then why isn't Richard Simmons a national hero? <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: We know why you live so close to Canada. Don't make me go into detail.<hr></blockquote> Er, because it's as unlike New Jersey as possible?Hiram, while it pains me to have to take the Lorak to task, it needed to be done. Jumping jacks alone will not win the war on Terrorism, nor complete the job of returning Afghnistan to an even earlier period of the stoneage. If called upon, Lorak should not only have been able to render Taliban defenders into the purina chow of your choice, he should have been able to taunt them into a display of quite unmilitant tears. Daisy cutters may rend their flesh, but only Taunting can rend their souls. As a follower of the Peng Challenge Way, Lorak has been schooled in the martial art of taunting. Military service, as fine as it may be, seems to have taken a little of the polish off his ability. Never fear, Glum and Despondent Knight, I'm sure he'll be back up to speed shortly.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Moon: ...have you noticed that there was almost the same amount of posts made in 2001 as in 2000 (a bit more than 130,000 posts in a year). Wow, talk about replayability <hr></blockquote> We of the Peng Challenge Thread have done our parts. Not one post was made without glorifying Combat Mission (and villifying most everything else, including most especially each other).

I see that the whimsically pathetic Peng/Gates Slut production of the 'Prince and the Pauper' continues. At first apalled, I eventually warmed to the sight of Peng brought low, reduced to the role of SSN (SUP doesn't seem to have caught on). To see Berli heap derision (and, I believe, urine) on his head was enough to make any man a believer in the wisdom of Clemens. And Peng has, in a most gratifyingly shameful way, embraced his own abasement. I am sure we will see Peng returned to us as a sort of Cesspool Ghandi, bathing the feet of Untouchable SSNs, hugging and stroking the hair of such downtrodden victims as Iron Chef Sakai, Lord General MB, and 'That Other Utterly Useless Pillock Whose Name Escapes Me Right Now'. He will be a Peng transformed. The Enemies of the Mother Beautiful Thread will gather him up from his degradation, and send him in a sealed boxcar deep into the heart of the Peng Challenge Thread, there to rally all disaffection and rebellion, and finally cast down the Thread of threads. Chrisl, I lay what is to come at your door. One should not tamper with the fundament of the Universe. But some would gamble, even with their own hope of redemption (Sit Down, Berli!). One boisterous and arrogant fool pulls out a leg of the Triad, and lets loose mere anarchy on the world. Can you sleep, Chrisl, knowing that you shall be the worm that elevates Iron Chef Sakai into mastery over the 'Pool?

Well, well, well, here we all are, partially sober and embarked, will we, nil we, on 2002. I note the return of Lorak with the sort of joy I once reserved for meeting attractive women who were shorter than I am. With one qualifier, of course: I fear that with the return of Lorak the 'tough-talking with a heart of gold' C'est Bon will depart from these shores forever. I despair if our 'Lauren Bacall in To Have and Have Not' should leave us to allow her 'Elven Half' to return to his Cesspool ways. Although I note that Lorak's recent return to the military has degraded his Taunting. His approach to Goanna was, well, run-on, coarse, and short on wit. Long on venom and vilification, which is all to the good with Goanna (more on the moral and philosophical failings of the Eldest Australian later), but rather jejeune. Still, I'm sure his recent injury is fretting him, and we can't be completely surprised if his exposure on his return to 'twitch games' has coarsened him and lowered his intelligence. What next, Shaw? Will you be selling Playtendo™, GameX™, and Segastation™ to middle school students? Sitting in a large glass box in the middle of the Tabernacle with a vacant look on your face wearing nothing but dirty jockey shorts, watching planes buzz around you while you repetitively recite the word 'cool'? I find your lack of faith...disturbing.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by : [QB][/QB]<hr></blockquote> Being one of the Olde Ones of the Peng Challenge Thread has nothing to do with member numbers or time on the board. Nor are there more than three. You are a bit daft, and your post was wonderfully incoherent.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Herr Oberst: Ladies and assembled other vermin, I present the other face of our [sneer]esteemed[/sneer] Barf, er, Bard. Pray tell, from which side of your mouth did this latest post originate? hehehehehe<hr></blockquote> The remarks you quoted were taken out of context. Also, you have have played fast and loose with the realities of the various situations involved in order to villify me. Finally, I have incontrovertible proof that you are the illegitimate son of Slapdragon. Also, anyone who's ever told you they cared about you was simply unable to admit that they actually hoped that a chainsaw accident would rid them of your presence forever. Even sadder, they didn't much care whether the accident involved you or themself, so long as they were rid of you. I hope you take this in the straight forward, honest manner it was intended, rather than assuming it was meant to hurt you. I would prefer to use a 4' maple axe handle to hurt you.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elvis: Dear Patch, The picture is lovely. My wife has asked for a copy and I saved it for her. But she pointed out that my moniker is based from Elvis Costello. But your picture is a huge hit in the Costello household. Love, Elvis<hr></blockquote> So 'irony' is just another of those words that sends you scrabbling after the dictionary you normally use to keep your pornographic magazine collection upright on the bookcase, eh? If Persephone had actually melded your image with Elvis Costello, the whimpers of joy and wish-fulfillment run amock would have driven everyone out of the Thread until we could come back in here with a stun baton and get you under proper control.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Iron Chef Sakai: They do lots of other things as well, you can find them all over the idustrial world.<hr></blockquote> Bugger. It just occurred to me. Are we witnessing the 30th incarnation of Rob/1?

I have taken Anarchy unto myself, and started the next Thread of threads. The Mad Bald One will bless or repudiate me, at his will. All right minded followers of the Peng Challenge Way, will, of course, hustle on over there and support this most aimless of Gnomes.

Roight, I'm jumping the queue, being an anarchist, and generally mis-behaving. We're about at the limit, and the Mad Bald One (his name be honoured) is not about. So, treat it as the right one, until you're told otherwise. My general rules, posted yet again below: ALROIGHT, THEN! HEADS UP, MOUTHS CLOSED, AND LISTEN TO THE ORFICER, YOU LOT! The Rules of the Peng Challenge Thread are quite straightforward, really. Astonishingly simple, in fact, in a complex world. First off, no one here likes you, has any desire to know you, and, in fact, the entire sodding Universe doesn't give a stuff what you want or have to say. Go Away. Should you remain on despite the first rule, we next wish you to know that coming in, striking a pose, and challenging everyone in the Thread to a match will cause the wastelands to echo with laughter, and you will look like the stupid pillock you are. You will then be told to Go Away, more forcibly, and people will really begin to mean it. Pick someone out, preferably something as newly arrived and worthless as yourself, taunt and challenge it, and you might get a game. Next, you should sound off as though your wit, courage, and intelligence were not in question. In the vulgate, Sound Off As Though You've Got a Pair! I believe it is. Oh, and more than half a brain, please. If you sound off well, wittily, and with great force of person and humour, you may be accorded a measure of respect here, perhaps for the first time in your doubtless tawdry little life. It's something to look forward to. Finally, while sounding off, we'd like you to remember that this is the Peng Challenge Thread, not your local boozer where every vulgarity, expletive, and prejudicial slur are met by howls of laughter from halfwits who are only 15 minutes and 3 drinks away from spending the night in Detox. We have standards here, whether you can follow the concept or not, and if you ignore or trample them, you will not only be told to Go Away, you will Go Away, both from here, and hopefully the Forum in general. Now, that's our simple rules, told in an unsimple way and at great length. Shortly another of the inmates will probably be along to revile me, and repost them in a shorter and easier to understand version.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: My GAWD lads, he's at it again (no, no Bauhaus wasn't talking about you ... for once)! Seanachai Wants YOU! And he can't even claim this as part of his Australians are all Slime campaign .. which they are of course. Joe<hr></blockquote> Joe, that was not recruiting! I was merely detailing for the hapless the glory of the Mother Beautiful Thread, trumpeting it above all others. I also, I trust, did so in language coarse enough to discourage, rather than encourage, readers to come here. After my vicious tirade against Ladder players, I don't see any of them showing up here anytime soon looking for a game. The charge that Grog Dorosh curries my favour is a baseless lie. It is clear that, despite his grogish tendencies, he is relatively perceptive and acknowledges intelligence in others. He is also, I believe, embittered by the continuing use of his name to promote that other, rather silly challenge thread on the General Forum. Finally, the amusing brutalization of my person continues at the hands of Persephone. I would weep over this last one, were it not for the giggling. It should be mentioned that in the picture in question Moriarity and I were not, in fact, doing anything so vacuous and horrific as disco (apparently Bauhaus'sentertainment of choice). We were involved with a Folk dance club, and were just completing a reel.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Yeknodathon: Seanachai, For one such as myself bedazzled and confused by the mighty roar and clamour of the MBT yet marvelling at the representative range of humanity that it thrusts upon us, I was wondering who among the vast array of peoples and talents displayed here, who among the thronging gamut of splendour and insignificance, are the Olde Ones? NOT that I would even consider.... well, er, ahem (whisper) another "incident"... but that I might tread these halls, doffing me head here and there to me betters and (wince) maidens while beginning to sort the flotsam from the jetsum to facilitate a meaningful challenge. Yeknod<hr></blockquote> Well, you're an idjit, and there's no mistake about that, but it does you credit that you wish to understand the Peng Challenge Thread. There are three Olde Ones, and they are Seanachai, who began the Peng Challenge, and Mr. Peng, to whom the Challenge was addressed, and Berlichtingen, or Berli, the Adversary, or Enemy, who showed up within moments of the Challenge to belittle Peng, and challenge Seanachai. They/We maintain the balance and principles of the Universe. Seanachai maintains the Past, and Peng is the Present, and Berli is the Future. Seanachai is a short, aging, capering figure given over to fun and the odd jolly sing-song.\ Peng is a stern figure, arms crossed, curmudgeonesque, judging and judged, and pretty much half in the bag, from moment to moment. Berli is a figure, wreathed in smoke, outlined by flame, judged, and judgemental, knowing that all who live will pass before him eventually, whether to escape, or be undone. They are the Olde Ones. They sit, patient, eternal, and knowledgeable, in the Wasteland, and wait for the People to reach them. When the folk arrive, the three Olde Ones go on walkabout, again, further into the Nothingness that exists outside the Peng Challenge Thread. Seanachai twists and measures out the thread, and Peng weaves it into it's pattern. Berli stands, forever ready, to slash it across, and end everything. The rest of you little pillocks amuse us, and by your loud, argumentative, and daft passage into eternity, create the Reality of the Peng Challenge Thread. When you reach the Olde Ones, like so many chattering monkeys, we note your progression, and we move on into the emptiness that awaits us all, and wait for the folk of the Peng Challenge Thread to reach us. While waiting, we drink a lot, play Combat Mission, cribbage, compose poetry and songs, and have a good chuckle about the rest of you.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by OGSF: Noo tha at matters meend, but tae clarify at ain Seanachai's tiny meend - Morairty as on a losing streak agin mae. Tha score o' "3" hae referred tae was hais score. Twit. An' fer ye uselaiss wanker's at large, Ah jess funished playin' Goanna's latest scenario effort, "Where Eagles Dare". Tha laddies done a grand job wi' at. At's prolly tae complex fer tha most o' ye, but at's a very good waste o' 90 minutes or sae. Recommended tae ye. Tha hero o' course were Cpl OGSF, drivin' tha getaway HT. Most o' ye buggers died a grisly death at tha hands o' tha SS. Mace, Ah laift ye tae bae shot doon oop ain tha castle. SirMacOberGruppenBloodyStompinSicFeuhrerBastardABCDJimmy<hr></blockquote> You daft Scot's Git. I've always hated you. The most significant moment of your current existence, I believe, is the contemplation of whether "OGSF: The Poor Man's McAuslan" causes a greater rift in screen wrap than "OberGruppenStompenFuehrer", and, if it does, how that burden can be reduced.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Michael Dorosh: "Half-witted" is the best you can come up with? Like I said...t'weren't my idea.<hr></blockquote> Lad, "Half-witted" is my attempt at humanity, given that they are forced to post on the General Forum, while we post here, in the Combat Mission Forum. <blockquote>quote:</font><hr>On a serious note, though - I have it on good authority that the best opponents are indeed found in the Peng Thread. Kind of funny - I mean, who would have thought it? I agree with you re: ladder-whores. Not all ladder-whores play on ladders, unfortunately. [ 01-06-2002: Message edited by: Michael Dorosh ]<hr></blockquote> Not so hard to believe. We have been tasked with vulgar behaviour, elitism, heirarchical nonsense, and intelligence with intent. What the Peng Challenge Thread amounts to is 'Sod That For a Lark, What Can You Bring To This Most Noble of Taunting Threads?' Yes, we exact conditions of participation. Yes, we look for a standard of existence. Yo, we test every participant. Far more, and more thoroughly, than any goddamn 'Ladder' participant (Do you want to win at any cost?!!! Do you Care Nothing About the Game Other Than Winning??!!!! Then go to: www.CMladder.com, and register your complete lack of honour now!) We have a seperate standard. We acknowledge literature. We acknowledge poetry. We acknowledge the jolly sing-song. Oh, and most of all, we acknowledge taunting, honour, history, the joys of gameyness, playing fair, and Each Other. Useless, sodding little arseholes don't come here. And those who do, don't last. No one gets a game without a serious contribution, of some sort.

You have the right to an attorney. Should you not be able to afford an attorney (and who can), one will be appointed to you by The Peng Challenge Thread. We have our Own. They'll tell you that you're a fecking idjit (inarguable conclusion, given that you play opponents both outside the Peng Challenge Thread, and that other rather half-witted opposition thread). Ladders. The last refuge of lame whores for whom status and winning are more important than Honour, and Reputation, and Ability. In the Peng Challenge Thread, we value our Opponents, even while we belittle their ancestors and mental abilities. Why would you play some arsehole who's only concern is whether he can claim a victory over you, whatever the cost to honour? Bah! I would offer a 'start over' to an opponent who found himself at this (honestly) given level of disadvantage. In fact, I have. This is the uselessness of 'ladder' playing, and tournaments. They are, to a disturbing degree, populated by ahistorical cherry-pickers, bent on 'winning' over playing a fair game, and willing to indulge in any sort of mendacity to gain an advantage. I can't even imagine assigning computer purchase of units to my opponent while freely picking my own. To me, if this is what your opponent chose, it sounds like the ultimate pissant ****e. But that's just me. Heck, I know there are all sorts of good reasons why useless, lame whores would have to cheat in order to prove their 'superiourity' at Combat Mission. Still, we don't know all ends. He could be cast in the role of villain without cause. He could, conceivably, be just the happy recipient of the greatest blessing in modern warfare. But, it all sounds a bit suspicious. And I won't play ladder whores. So do me the very great favour of sending me his screen name by private email. Not that someone so bereft of honour would ever be accepted on to the Peng Challenge Thread, but just in case.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by chrisl: Peng is not a pod, or the login of some pennsyltuckian freak, or even the name of some strange monkey hanging from a tree in Minneapolis. Peng is a concept.<hr></blockquote> And not a concept that bears tampering with, no matter how much we may individually despise and belittle the actual being. Should Berli arrive here and consent to an alteration of the Peng title, I will acknowledge the will of the Gambling Idjit, and the Evil Olde One. But, Chrisl, me lad, a victory of this level, from a true son of the Peng Challenge Thread should not result in a corruption of that most alcoholic of our proud symbols.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Moriarty: Seanachai I had assumed your dance card was filled as there was no word after our last go-round. But, you were very busy at the time, as I recall. Aye, the Kanigget Defender of Hopeless Causes (my own) would nae turn down a chance to smacketh, smite and smote you and your Chinchill ..., er, Churchillian consorts.<hr></blockquote> What?! Did I not acknowledge your rather dramatic drubbing of my worthy self after our last combat?! Did I not beg a breather in which to recoup my lost pride and loss of perspective? Mind, Moriarity, I shall never again use Cromwells against you. You rate Churchills from now on, lad. Pillock. Send me a setup. The usual: nothing more than 1500 points, you abjure the worship of Berli, and all his little wizards, denying that Bauhaus should ever stand, and that you shall have no thread before the Peng Challenge Thread. Everything else is your choice, most worthy and useless of opponents.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by chrisl: In more exciting news, the Gates-slut formerly known as Peng has surrendered to me in our match in which our very own handles were at stake. As you all have pea-sized brains, and probably are incapable of remembering the match, his penalty for losing is to change his handle to The Gates-slut formerly known as Peng. Had I lost, I would have been stuck with all caps for mine. <hr></blockquote> Chrisl, it is...I guess, good to see you back. At least one of the Thread members have asked me if you were still alive, and if we should do something about it. But I cannot permit the execution of the bet that you have made. Mr. Peng's moniker is not something that can be put upon the block. This is, after all, the Peng Challenge Thread. It is not enough that the name Peng merely be retained, in a disparaging manner, in the title. He is, was, and always shall be, (say it with me now)"They call me Mr. Peng". Peng can no more gamble with his name, than others can claim that the Thread does not belong to him. He is our's, and we are his. You have won your bet, and the victory is yours. But the worst that We of the Peng Challenge Thread can allow, is that you can have quite a go around with either Peng's signature, or do a right nasty job on Mr. Happy. Peng remains Peng. Short of Berli contesting this, it shall stand. [ 01-06-2002: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Moriarty: My streak against OGJimmySF continues. The loss was more like 19,500 to 3 ... and then he has the temerity to pick up some piece of dental ****e from Rune called Root Canal. Open up and say, ahhhh, Jim-boy<hr></blockquote> Bah! Moriarity, my lad, you never address me any more. Have I done ought to offend you? Once we were as close as Meeks and the Brick. But now; now your victories have made you proud, Moriarity. You have turned your back on those you have defeated; defeated to the ruination of their own CM careers, hopes, and self-esteem. Not one little word for Seanachai, no, not one, in all your puffery after his horrible defeat? You are no man, sirrah, to have such a hard and cold demeanour. Have I forgotten the bottle of aged, joyous, luxurious scotch which you gifted the Olde Ones with at our first ever meeting? I have not. Have I forgotten, on any morning when I awoke, anticipating a dreadful hangover, only to find that it had dissipated into dew and nothingness and a fine, large breakfast, in which many pigs had died, to praise the name of Moriarity? I have not. Have I, on any occassion in which I remember our last game, failed to weep, and gnash my teeth, and call you all sorts of perfectly foul and applicable names? I most certainly have not! I think, then, that as your busy round of pride makes you available, that another little set to might be in order.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Hiram Sedai: Ah, but here is the good news: She had an MRI two weeks ago and they couldn’t find a single speck of cancer in her head!! That is a huge weight lifted off of our hearts!! <hr></blockquote> Hiram, I can't remember the last time I read anything that made me as happy as this does. I continue to send all good thoughts and hopes to you and your family, and whatever may be done by honouring the Goddess is directed to the care and comfort of your sister and her child. My own sister was diagnosed with Hodgkins when she was 14. She was treated, and beat it, and, after five years of remission, was pronounced 'cured'. In her late 20s, she developed breast cancer as a result of the treatments that helped her defeat the Hodgkins. She beat that too, and is now 37. She is as tough, funny, and as loving as any person I've ever known. She's fiercely and protectively watched over her 'older brother' for most of our adult lives. She suffers from migraines, constant bouts with pneumonia (her immune system is badly compromised by the radiation treatments that overcame the Hodgkins), and other illness, but she takes a great deal of delight in life and all those around her. She cannot have children, another side-effect of the treatments that drove out her cancer, but she takes great joy in the lives of our nieces and nephews, the children of our other sisters. I wish your sister a smooth and joyous road, and your family the enjoyment of happiness that only great trials can make precious and true. You are a fine young man, as I've told you before, even though you associate with Peng and Elvis. Now, all that said, you nasty little pillock. Are you ever going to finish that game we started donkey's years ago? I still have it.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai: (edited because I fecking began the obsessive editing of posts, and all you lot, including Andreas, could benefit from my example. Not to mention that it's damn near impossible to write anything coherent and completely correct in this little 5cm x 8cm window that we're given for composing our remarks...is there some sort of legitimate concept behind this 'less than screen width peep show composition space'?)<hr></blockquote> [ 01-05-2002: Message edited by: Seanachai ] [ 01-05-2002: Message edited by: Seanachai ]</p>