Seanachai

It's not pink, it's 'salmon'. Hmm (also looking around) it's not much, is it? Still, this bits just for the SSNs and such. Emma, you could join the rest of the lot heading up to Schloss Peng. Unless, of course, you'd prefer to pull up a log around the fire with the Olde Ones in the Wasteland. The jug never empties, and whenever it gets chilly, Berli tosses another SSN on the fire.

You get poked with the sharp stick. The Bricks to good for you, lad.

Presto! Journey on into the Wasteland, to the land being created out of nothingness... Here

This is, of course, the Peng Challenge Thread, defamed in song and story. All are welcome, but none are desired. In other words, trip fleetingly back out through the portal by which you ill-advisedly entered. Or, put shortly: Sod off. You might imagine you have a purpose in being here. But like your life itself, there is absolutely no reason for you to be here. If you continue to imagine that there is, then understand this about the place: We do not like you. We don't like any of you. We don't like each other, but we've been at it so long we've become resigned to dealing with each other. So, if you're here, it's because you've come to share with us your wit, your cleverness, by taunting someone here to a game. Try to show some imagination. Impress us with your badinage. Seriously, if the best you can do is bathroom humour and talking about thingies, we've heard it all before in all its spectacular lack of variation. If you're going to give us more, Sod off. Also, while we taunt, defame, and even severely tease each other, we're not here for you to flaunt or indulge in your Real World hatreds and prejudices. If you ignore this, we will assist you in Sodding Off! Finally, to be taken seriously here, you should have an email address and a general location in your profile. So pick out an individual, and challenge them, cleverly, to a game. If they think your challenge has any merit, they will give you a game. Otherwise, they will probably tell you to, yes, you guessed it, Sod Off! Finally, show nothing but tender respect for the Ladies of the 'Pool, or you will have no other option but to Sod Off. Also, do not poke the Justicarwith a stick. For the rest, there are any number of nonsensical, and even other-worldly rules, heirarchies, and traditions floating around here. By the time you've learned them all, you'll be dead. Or you'll have Sodded Off. We're just as happy with either result.

Sit quietly, then. I will begin the new thread. Nothing up my sleeze...

That's the problem with young people today. You want the game to do everything for you. Don't sit there slack-jawed in your chair, waiting for affirmation from a piece of software. When you win, get up and do the 'Underpants Dance of Victory' (pull your undewear over your head like a hat and dance around the room; for a really big win, use someone else's underwear). When I defeat a human opponent in a PBEM, I make them recite a poem in my honour. Most of them aren't very good poems (a surprising number of young men seem to come from Nantucket), but they are the paeans of victory I richly deserve. You are too passive and emotionally needy if you want some software program to give you hugs and certificates! Howl your victory out to the stars! Curse your defeats to the depths of the Abyss! Troops! Presennnnnnnnnnt Underpants!

Or you could call it 'Panzer Leadermade a really daft assumption and didn't get around to checking up on it until the next day'.

You people eat rotting fish that smells like an opened grave. One would think you'd be inured to pain and disappointment by now.

There are innummerable children reading this. Some of them are quite old.

I think it would be much more interesting if, after a big win, CM brought up a special after action area where you were allowed to machine-gun characters from the Tony Hawk games.

Mace...That looks disgusting! Persephone</font>

Just out of curiosity, what level of FOW were you playing at?

Lies and calumnies! Her Hamstertruppen are fleeing my freedom loving Brits! One flag is mine, and the other will be mine soon!

Yes, my understanding is it's 'Length by calibers' (xx being the number you can divide the length of the barrel by to achieve the caliber). After that, the important thing is what the shameless self-promoter said

Where's my setup, you confused, drooling, mumbling witless Illinois associate of Evil? I taunted you days ago. I taunted you well. I've received nothing. It simply won't do.

Sod that for a game of tin soldiers. If you haven't got the game, this will put and ugly crimp in my Quest to Crush All Australians. We've all been contributing and saving up to buy Mace a ticket off-planet on the Mother Ship. Shouldn't there be some sort of Stuka CMBB Defense Fund or somefink? Stuka, the last time I checked you had a very attractive blonde wife. You can't tell me she isn't employed and bringing in a paycheck. The day that attractive blondes don't have well-paid jobs is the day I will know that patriarchy has been crushed, merit-based systems have been enacted all over the globe, and four strange looking figures on horse-back have been spotted descending on the New Jersey malls...

Lovely thought, I just love doggies, but it's not enough, you see. I'm simply not receiving enough hate from Outerboarders. This means, I guess that I will have to spend a whole lot more time on the Outer Boards, posting, getting to know Grogs and such, interacting with all you fine individuals in order to induce you to send me the letters, cards, and postcards that I so richly deserve. So, it seems that the only solution to my Quest to Amass a Huge Pile of Hate Mail is to leave my beloved Peng Challenge Thread, and post freely, often, and at great length amongst the general populace of the CMBB Forum. Of course, if I was busy reading all my new letters, cards, and postcards filled with venom, then I imagine I wouldn't have time to make a career of posting constantly in every thread on the CMBB Forum.

I'm blessing every god, goddess, demi-god, and tipsy nature spirit that I can think of that I'm not Stacy... [ October 01, 2002, 10:37 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

No roster for you! No roster for you ever! Demanding interface trollop!

I should think 'Goddess' would serve the purpose, and end all discussion.

Hey, Berli, that's that Latvian I was telling you about.

I've seen how the Pope is failing rapidly. Off for your interview with the College of Cardinals, eh Andreas? Decided whether or not to accept the position?

I haven't had any problems issuing Covered Arc orders without LOS to the designated points.</font>

Sorry, you lot of useless rubbish (albeit I hold you all in the very highest esteem), but the flood of letters, cards, and postcards is beginning to fall off again. Those received so far are much appreciated, and some are even quite imaginitive. Others, of course, take the more normal form of 'Seanachai, if I could reach up your arse and pull your heart out and show it to you before going off to wash my arm, I could die a happy man'. All good, of course, all brilliant, but there's still not enough. You see, we're now (friends here in town have gotten involved; quite enthusiastic they are, in fact!) intent on making an Hatred Quilt! Yes, send on your letters, cards, and postcards filled with how much you hate Seanachai, and see your hatred entered into the Minnesota State Fair next year! As always, should you need info on how to post your hatred, go to the very first post of this thread for MY ACTUAL HOME ADDRESS! That's right, it's not being sent to some drop-box or business site! That's where I live! Assassins should note that it's a multi-family dwelling, so care should be observed in the expression of aggressive hatred, so no innocents are harmed. On the plus side, Minnesota does not have the death penalty! If successfully carried through, your non-postal hatred should result in simple incarceration, with early release if you show the parole board some of my posts. [ September 30, 2002, 02:36 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

You can't bloody well adjust, I imagine, because you issued your orders during the first turn, to an LOS zone, when the targeting line tells you something on the order of 'No LOS, Cannot Be Adjusted Later'. As far as I know, this inability to adjust only occurs if you order fire on the first turn. This represents, I believe, a 'submitted before the battle' fireplan. You've told the Divisional/Regimental/Whatever battery where you want the stuff to go, and that is where it will go. The lads up the line have given you what you asked for, and now you must live with it. I believe the trade-offs are that you will see less of a delay on the fire mission. Next time, don't assign fire missions on the very first turn. I could perhaps be wrong, but I have only encountered this 'no adjustment allowed' phenomenon when the order is issued on the first turn. And I love reading manuals, especially for games like this. This manual is actually a joy to read. Mind, it could have used a bit more Peng Challenge Thread insouciance (regarding people who don't read the manual, for example), but it was a treat.