David Aitken

Not posting OT threads in the first place would be simpler...

> You replied didn't you? Yes, because the "ignore them and they'll go away" tactic I have been exercising for a long time appears to be worthless. > Isn't that Mad Matt's job? Do you think he needs you to provide him with more work to do?

Excuse me? Did I say it was? The emphasis was on the excuse. You say satire, he says irony. It doesn't matter what your excuse is, you are posting OT threads in the full knowledge BTS will have to root them out and lock them.

Yes yes, and Panzer Leader posted his anti-Peng rant in the name of Irony. But BTS still has to waste their time rooting out all the OT threads from the forum, time which they could be spending on CM2. Get a clue, for heaven's sake.

God almighty!! MadMatt, my sincerest sympathies. There seem to be a hell of a lot of people who don't understand the reason for padlocking, or the concept of "forum clutter", and take the closure of one completely stupid thread as a prompt to start ten more. Will it ever end...

I am Panzer Leader! I shall start up the 1,124th thread complaining about the Peng Thread, and BTS won't mind, because I'm only being ironic! Behold my superior sense of reason and logic!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Panzer Leader wrote: I did not want to be sullied<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Well then you might have refrained from starting up a new, completely pointless and totally off-topic thread. There is one thread for banter on this forum, starting up a new thread to complain about the existing thread is stupid.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>jdmorse wrote: On other matters, my 1,000 and 1 post....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Nanny nanny naa naa, I'm more of a windbag that you are! Wait up, what happened to jd, your slick, new, 21st century moniker? Was there already a jd inc. solicitors and estate agents, and they were going to sue you?

PBEM Report Elvis has finally stopped losing tanks, and I have picked up where he left off. He is in the process of torching my little noctural enclave. I am scheming to move the goalposts. I am still chucking shells at Leeo. Historical accuracy, you understand. Nothing like a good preparatory 25lb'er barrage... Armornut appears to have an awful lot of German infantry. My Brits have elected to stand and fight. Take that, Jerry! Abbott appears not to have bought a plane this time. Thus far he has been lobbing lots of shells at where he imagines me to be, while advancing his infantry down the middle and one side of the map, and his armour down the other. He has taken to accusing me of gamey historical combined-arms tactics. Such tactics have just enabled me to cream most of his armour. The last turn was a beautiful sight to behold, as his second Hellcat chickened out of a short-range engagement with a PzKpfw IV, despite getting the first shot, popped smoke and sat there while a platoon of my men jogged over and lined up their panzerfausts. One of his HMC's came over the hill above my tank (I didn't think he could get up there), and met a fiery death. Initially I thought it was a panzerfaust from the platoon which I had sent to get him (and was right on top of him), but closer study revealed it to be a perfect first shot from one of my 234/3 armoured cars (I'm really getting to like those things). dalem is defrosting his men (with the help of bauhaus I understand) and making ready to storm my men's igloos. Don't wreck the snowmen, mind, it took all morning to build them.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Stuka wrote: BumBoy_Recon, you are the weakest link, goodbye.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Escape to the other side of the planet to get away from the Teletubbies and Anne Robinson, and what do you get? The Teletubbies and Anne Robinson. Resistance is futile...

Is it just me, or has this thread turned into the very thing that other people were starting new threads to whine about? Now we've got hordes of smartarse newbies striding in and acting like they own the place, because they now know that they're not the only person who can't seem to exist happily in the same universe as the Peng Thread. Either that or they're just stupid, and think that the thread really is about being obnoxious and hateful. If you want those kind of honest sentiments, go and find a thread about Enemy At The Gates or machinegun effectiveness or armour penetration (or "Look at my new car"...).

And so begins the latest Enemy At The Gates thread on the CM forum... It would give BTS more time to work on CM2 if this thread, and other off-topic threads like it, were left to disappear, or simply not started in the first place. Those interested in the film might consider doing a search for the earlier threads on the subject, or discussing it in the General forum if they must.

This is the classic AI thread. Go and read it: CRAP AI, Other BUGS ,Fix Or implement IPX/TCP!!

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>PawBroon wrote: Isn't it a bug in the way Blair is modelled or is that just one of those occasion where things are abstracted?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> In my experience the Blair VII medium tank puts on a good show, but on closer inspection, actually achieves very little. It is most often crewed by fanatics who are otherwise poorly trained. Its targetting priorities are biased, not towards making a difference, but rather appearing to be doing a lot, and looking good in the process. Historically it has tended to prey on high-profile units such as the PzKpfw 543/3 Pop Star and the SdKfz 121/2 Actor. It picks opponents such as the SPW 412 Student and SPW 779 Pensioner which reflect well on it and increase support for its employment. It has also been known to go berserk in the presence of the PzKpfw 666 Tory, and detractors such as Generalleutnant Wilhelm Hague have made a career out of lambasting it for its flaws, despite his own fanaticism provoking criticism. The Blair VII, in its most recent engagement at Frauleinschulerburg, predictably expended prodigious amounts of ordinance, achieving few hits and of those, multiple ricochets. I shan't go into the subject of penetrations, as there is already a thread devoted to that...

Talking of politics, I heard Tony Blair has kicked off his election campaign with a speech in a girls' school. He's obviously got his priorities right, eh Stuka?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Lorak wrote: Maybe they were trying to make up for not doing anything for the unarmed ones that the brit para's murdered?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Aha, a pseudo-Irishman. Keep in mind that there are two factions in Northern Ireland, those who are happy being part of the UK (the Loyalists) and those who want to be part of Ireland (the Republicans). Both groups seem to enjoy having guns and killing people, and have been somewhat reluctant to make compromises. The Army and the former Royal Ulster Constabulary have been tasked not with oppressing the Irish people, but with trying to protect the public and prevent the militant groups doing too much damage. I don't imagine the security forces are perfect, but I pity no terrorist who falls victim to their heavy-handed tactics.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Stuka wrote: I don't know how you do it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> So you've never encountered the association of the terms "lawyer", "money" and "leech"? You should come over here. The nice chaps in the European Court of Human Rights recently awarded £10,000 compensation to the families of the IRA terrorists who smashed into a police station in Loughall, Ireland in a bulldozer with a bomb in the scoop, opened up with machineguns, and were ambushed by the SAS while trying to escape. Apparently the terrorists' rights were violated. Makes you want to be a lawyer, eh?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Stuka wrote: Perhaps one of the 'poolers (who doesn't like young girls) would care to explain to me what I did wrong as I'm buggered if I can see a problem with it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Come on, it's not that difficult – you simply married someone ten years younger than your ex. Don't pull age on a woman.

Dear Mr. dalem Application for appointment I refer to your recent application for the post of PBEM Opponent. I am pleased to inform you that a vacancy has now arisen, and you are invited to send me a setup at your convenience. Please enclose your head, as we shall be constructing a trophy case in lieu of your imminent destruction. Enclose a postage-paid envelope if you wish your head to be returned (you would be well advised just to leave it with us, as it will belong to me before very long). I look forward to hearing from you. ---------- Abbott, you pathetic, vitriol-bereft, altogether disgustingly polite little man, I owe you a disembowelment. Send me a setup, and buy all the planes you like.

Oh well, now you've done it. We are sunk, expect an influx of rats imminently.

Maybe, but 'twas decreed by Sir Madmatt that no new Peng Thread shalt be instituted other than at the decree of Ye Software of the Big Time, no matter how big they get (the thread, not BTS). Still, "Welcome to Peng Challengeville" is a miserable name, and what more could we expect from one of our very own Legal Sparrows.

Did someone commission a new thread?

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Stuka wrote: I'll tell her that Paris is in the middle of the Hurtgen forest, and we really need to take metal detectors with us.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yes, but how would you get the machineguns and German helmets back through customs? I've been meaning to learn to dive, and go looking for Shermans at the bottom of the Channel, or maybe some of the Bren guns the army dumped in more recent years. No need to worry about customs – I'm sure no-one would care about a suspicious looking chap emerging from the sea with a large tank in tow, or clutching an armful of light machineguns! And there was the occasion when I was about 12, I visited an old airfield control tower dug into the ground in the extreme north of Scotland, which was being used as a mini-museum, although the 'curator' had disappeared off to Australia or something. The people living next to it let me in, and there was all sorts of stuff inside, including a Lee-Enfield rifle! The bolt may have been missing, but I had my hands on this thing, and I didn't understand!! Arrgh. Not to mention the old woman in Edinburgh who had a BAR in her attic, and turned it in to police during the gun amnesty a few years ago. How could she?? Is there no justice? The bastards probably destroyed it as well. Oh, but – be still my heart – we had .22 bolt-action rifles at school. They've still got them, which is somewhat bizarre, considering it's practically illegal in this country to even know what a gun is. They also had strange top-loading target rifles with a lever on the underside, which were rather naff. Hmmm... I think I'll need to have a nice chat with the IRA. They have all sorts of automatic weapons the government is desperate to get its hands on. A lot of them are Second World War vintage, I think.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Abbott wrote: Dave Aitken - they have been reduced to two unarmed men and a startled Hedgehog.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I had a slightly different kind of 'arms' in mind... <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>It comprises two men with no arms and a startled hedgehog.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Abbott wrote: A very enjoyable game with a very enjoyable opponent.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Steady on there, you'll get bauhaus all excited. The Peng Thread isn't what it used to be...

Despite my tanks taking out a few of his, my forces never recovered from the loss of essentially all 14 of my halftracks to Abbott's plane, which arrived at the outset and didn't leave for about 15 minutes. Of my two German motorized platoons, those that survived the strafing of their transport were either annihilated by artillery or overwhelmed by US infantry. One of my Jägdpanzer IV's was immobilised by a gun before knocking it out, only to be finished off by a bazooka (despite covering fire from my remaining halftrack which was conveniently immobilised right behind it). The other one was engaged by a Sherman at four o'clock while on a Hunt command, doomed to slooowwly traverse while the Sherman popped off a few shots before eventually hitting its target. My first Tiger had its turret at six o'clock to fire at some infantry (as I'd ordered) when it was taken out by a TD at three o'clock (I should have given it a rotation order as well... see, this is what happens when people complain about the TacAI – originally it worked half the time, then they changed it and now it works the other half of the time, but not the times it originally did...). I ordered my second Tiger to advance to outflank the TD, whereupon it targetted a Sherman which appeared at six o'clock, thus arriving near the TD with its turret backwards. The AI awarded my heroic against-the-odds effort with an 18-82 automatic surrender. Lorak, please record: Abbott: Free beers for his pilot, for life. Aitken: Expensive AA guns for my PBEMs, for life.