Hakko Ichiu

The true language-grog uses his resources with an aesthetically pleasing economy. Don't be fooled by logorrheic poseurs.

All this high-minded philosophical discussion has put me in the mood for a sing-song. All together now (especially you lads, sheilas, and sheep from Down Under): Immanuel Kant was a real pissant Who was very rarely stable Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar Who could think you under the table David Hume could out consume Schopenhauer and Hegel And Wittgenstein was a beery swine Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya 'Bout the raising of the wrist Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed John Stuart Mill, of his own free will On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill Plato they say, could stick it away Half a crate of whiskey every day Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle Hobbes was fond of his dram And René Descartes was a drunken fart "I drink, therefore I am" Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed A lovely little thinker But a bugger when he's pissed

Can't someone hit this moron on the Dim Mak point of death and proper use of punctuation? Turns have gone out, not that any of you deserve them (except Andreas and MrSpkr who have bought me meat and drink in the past).

<big><big>Happy Birthday to Me, Happy Birthday to Me!</big></big> Another year passes and in its wake I am reminded just how superior I am to the sorry lot of you (Ladies of the Pool excepted, of course). And what a year it's been: Grog-Porn™, decapitated poolboys, the release of CMBB. Who could ask for more? Well, maybe timely turns from our very own Justicar, Jo Xia, but that's about as likely as world peace, an end to hunger, and the Red Sox winning the pennant. No presents please, since I hardly expect anything like courtesy, refinement, taste, discernment, or cerebral activity from what is, in the final analysis, a huge assemblage of spiritual toejam. Of course if someone wanted to send me a poolboy to decapitate it would be much appreciated. Turns will come out when I can get to them, but my in-laws are in town all week. Talk about birthday presents.

You seem angry, frustrated even. Excellent. If you ever bothered to search in the Lost Luggage Depot that is your brain you would remember that I sent you an e-mail not two months ago. But no, that would be too easy for anyone not suffering from premature senile dementia -- as to what your other premature problems might be, I'll leave those to MrsSpkr to detail. If you still can't figure it out, I'll give you a hint: ethanr@mindspring.com. Ring any bells, Quasimodo? [Edited just to piss off Andreas, now that he's back.] [ October 07, 2002, 11:07 AM: Message edited by: Hakko Ichiu ]

Chapel Hill. Hmm. So far, I'm the only Tarheel without NASCAR listed in his profile. Then again, I'm just an incomer.

Sounds like a bad song by America: Well I been through the desert on a Gnome with no name... What about all that "Get behind me" business? Just something from your carefree days of youthful experimentation?

Glad you liked it. Here's another one for you: As I was a-walking one morning in May I met a pretty fair maid, her gown it was gay. I step-ped up to her, and back she did fall She want to be played with the long peggin' awl. I said, "Pretty fair maid will you travel with me, Unto foreign countries, strange things for to see? And I will protect you, what e'er may befall And follow your love wuth his long peggin' awl" Then home to her parents she then went straightway And unto her mother these words she did say, "I'll follow my true love what e'er may befall I'll follow my love with his long peggin' awl." "O daughter, O daughter, how can yopu say so? For young men are false as you very well know. They'll tell you fine things and the devil and all And leave you big-bellied with the long peggin' awl." "O mother, O mother, now do not say so. Before you werte sixteen, you very well know There wqas father and mother and baby and all You followed my dad for his long peggin' awl." Thank you. I'm here all week.

Then this would be the place for a jolly sing-song! All together now, lads: When the good Lord made Father Adam, they say he laughed and sang, Sewed him up the belly with a little piece of wang. But when he'd got finished, I guess he measured wrong, For the piece he'd sewed him up with was very much too long. "It's but eight inches long," he said, "I guess I'll let it hang," And he left on Adam's belly that little piece of wang. But when he made mother Eve, I bet it made him start, For the piece he sewed her up with was very much too short. "It leaves an awful crack," said he, "but I don't give a dang, She can fight it out with Adam for that little piece of wang"; And ever since that ancient day when human life began, There's been a constant wage of strife between a woman and a man For the woman swears to have that piece that on his belly hang, To fill that awful crack that's left when the Lord ran out of wang. So let us not be selfish, boys, with what the women lack, But keep them busy on the wang to fill that crack, For the good Lord never intended that it should idle hang When he placed on Adam's belly that little piece of wang.

You're the lawyer, Steve, but isn't Hosebro rather protective of its copyright assets? Are the acronyms ASL/COI/SL/etc. copyrighted or trademarked?

After he gives you the horse tranqs, send a turn. It can only improve your chances.

All this and you can't mention the only Ohioican worth a damn? Hint, he has his house in a place called Muirfield Village, and his name is Jack. He likes to play golf. I think he went through a phase like that in college. Just a little experimentation. He'll grow out of it eventually.

And where is BFC located? Massachusetts! It all adds up. Once you have installed the CD, THEY KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!!! The last thing you will remember is opening the door to someone named "Big Bird".

Ah, ha! I knew it! *Victory Dance* Thanks for the info, oh Shiny Headed One.

As is the case with legalists, especially of the Red Chinese variety, Jo Xia shows no appreciation of nuance. They may have the rights of Kaniggets, but their rank is much higher -- as opposed to Jo, who is simply highly rank -- and therefore are more accurately referred to by the the informal title of Lady. Let us end this dispute in the only fit and proper way: let us ask the Ladies themselves. Are you Ladies or Dames? [ October 01, 2002, 01:11 PM: Message edited by: Hakko Ichiu ]

It is because you are a complete vulgarian that you make mistakes like the op. cit. above. Your bloviations would only be true if the Ladies of the 'Pool were of the same rank as the Kaniggets (Olde, Senior, and Other). Those of taste and discernment, a grouping which obviously excludes the likes of you (and probably Croda among others), know that the Ladies of the 'Pool rank far, far higher. But then, you never did know how to treat a lady, or so Panzer Leader says.

Then why are they referred to collectively in the Rules as The Ladies of the 'Pool and not The Dames of the 'Pool? Because they're Ladies and not Dames (not to mention Chicks, Tomatoes, Broads, Skirts or any of the other baser titles that no doubt rattle around your unfurnished brain-pan like so many ping-pong balls. So, once again, Jo, you are hoist by your own petard. Ha! And again I say, "Ha!"

Please do not refer to the Lady Emma(known as Hey, You! to her friends) as Dame Emma. Not only is it an incorrect appelation, but it conjures up images of over-the-hill transvestites in outrageous eyewear. Lady Emma, as we know full well, is all woman.

Can this be done? I really like these in scenarios, and it would be great to have in QBs -- reduces the effectiveness of gamey edge-hugging.

Battle has been joined. The forces of Limburger cheese and revolting dress sense as commanded by ME are awaiting the futile onslaught of the hordes of "female" shotputters and cabbage soup merchants as commanded by Andreas "The half-naked anarchist" Biermann. Condolences may be sent to Mr. Biermann's e-mail address. Donations in lieu of flowers to be sent to me. Lounge suit. 8:00 for 8:15.

Just a bump. Has anyone heard from The Bald One™ as whether the AA targeting algorithms check out?

I hate to interrupt when you're discussing the relative virtues of Boone's Farm Fruit Punch Wine-like Beverage and Chateau Cote du Rod Laver, but I just thought we should be aware that we may have an Anarchist in our midst. Exhibit A: That fellow on the right in the Kevlar clamdiggers. Could it be our very own Andreas with just a bit of added chin fuzz by way of a disguise???

Jo Xia, I am calling you out. A setup is winging its way through the ether at this very moment. As is fitting, given your position as shill, flack, flunky, water-carrier and Girl Friday for your Chinese Communist masters, you are the Red Hordes, while I am the guys with the leather fetish and bad (bad) game shows. I will not rest until I hold your beating heart in my blood-soaked hand and give it a little tickle before I throw it to the donkey. So there. And MrSpkr, when will there be room on your dance card? I feel like whupping some Tejas rump today. After that maybe we can play.

What sort of engagement ranges? In my experience, the M17s will fire, but very infrequently. It may be due to their short range. If that is the case, it would be nice to know so that one can employ them appropriately. There is still the unanswered question of what (if anything) blocks LOS for AA units in their assigned role.

Presumably the scenario size was listed as "tiny".