Hakko Ichiu

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Reasons why I'm a victim of cephalorectalautoinsertion: 1. I like MY version better. 2. I stated in the preamble to my post that I probably missed something trivial ... trust EWNSLAS to ignore that and try to make a Federal case out of it. 3. I should waste MY valuable time doing a search? Nonsense, in the first place it would have deprived EWNSLAS of the joy of posting the allegedly correct version (he gets so little joy we must do what we can to brighten his life). In the second place, I ask you, how many of you would looked to a post by EWNSLAS for the correct version of ANYTHING?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> 1) Then you just prove, as if proof were needed, that your taste is lodged firmly in your nether regions. Your version doesn't scan. It doesn't make sense either. Why do these Afghani women have "pains"? Are they in labor? If they are, then how come they're walking out on the plains, apart from the rhyme (surely you could come up with another rhyme for plains? Mains, cranes, trains, refrains...). And by removing the reference to the Diety, you eliminate an entire layer of meaning from the poem. Of course, that makes it easier for one of meagre faculties to grasp, so no wonder you prefer it. 2) Such Clintonian periphrasis. You said you butchered it, which you, in fact, did. I go to a butcher for dry-aged ribeye; I go to Kipling for poetry; I go to Joe Shaw when I want to kick some super-annuated kiester around the field of battle. 3) *Sigh* There are none so blind as those who have eyes but do not see. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> 4. As to the status of our battle, it is true that there have been some minor setbacks on my right flank (his left flank), but he neglects to mention the OTHER flank in which my victorious Panzers are sweeping all before them and leaving the field littered with the burning hulks of his Shermans. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Your precious Tigers are burning hulks, your troops should really check the status of their term life policies and I've lost a few Shermans, the Bic disposable lighter of armored fighting vehicles. I'm happy to flick them at you. And you haven't even approached my fire sacks yet. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>5. Despite that ... {gag} it's nice to see Eathan posting to the 'pool again ... as much as I hate to admit it. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I know how much it must have hurt you to say that, so say it again, but this time let me watch, OK? ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

You can't get better until you've hit rock bottom. A few suggestions: 1) Quit your job. It takes up valuable neurons. Several studies, however, have shown that there is no overlap between those areas of the brain utilized by CM and those areas required for saying, "Do you want fries with that." 2) Children take care of themselves these days, and may be safely ignored. TV + Ritalin = an excellent baby-sitter. 3) Your wife is clearly a distraction. If you focus on what's important, she will vanish from your mind. If she's frisky on a regular basis, contact me via e-mail (send me a .jpeg for reference) and I will see if I can help. Now, back to your keyboard, soldier. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

I have rarely read so much error and incompetence in a mere two pages of cess, but two examples stand out from the most recent crop of mire: 1) Look, Shaw, if you can't quote the Poet correctly, don't quote him at all. The actual quote is: When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains And the women come out to cut up what remains Just roll to your rifle and blow out your brains An' go to your Gawd like a soldier. Of course, if you had done a search on "Kipling" you would have found it, posted by none other than yours truly. But oh, no. Mr. Shaw is too high and mighty to do a search. Mr. Shaw will just let whatever pus emerges from his limbic system ooze out his piehole and onto the key board. Mr. Shaw will just lose lots of armor in the snow. 2) David Aitken mentions every male cast member of TFOTRE, but he doesn't mention Sophia Loren! Sophia Loren in fur! Sophia Loren in a toga! I'm beginning to have doubts about Mr. Aitken, I am. I could go on about Germanboy's uncalled for dissing of Patton, but it's easier to remind him of who exactly won the damn war. Oh yeah, it was the Americans. We all know it, don't we guys. We did it, we licked 'em all: the Germans, the Eyetalians, the Belgians, the Albanians, the Venezuealans with their silly Tango dances. And don't even get me started on those sissy boy Brits. They couldn't stand up to the armed might of the USA now could they. And why not? Because we're the best, that's why. So put that in your pipe and smoke it. Oh yeah, watch out, Canada, 'cause your next. You think we're going to let a half-decent baseball team belong to a bunch of foreigners? Bend over, you puck-munching softies, 'CAUSE HERE COMES PAPA AND HE'S FIXIN' TO RIDE. HEY, YOU, MEXICO! WHAT YOU LOOKIN' AT? YOU WANT A PIECE OF THIS? AND YOU, CUBA, EAT MY FLORIDA! I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!! ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Lorak the Loathsome: Now this I found really funny! I believe what she was saying is with a name like "I/O error" you must be a geek. Hence you stand no chance with her. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Actually, what she meant was "I/O Error = An error with the old in/out" (as we say in Clockwork Orange land. If that is indeed where his error lies, than his chances are, as Kitty observes, "slim and none". Every good feline knows that it ain't the float in the boat, it's the motion of the ocean, or somefink. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: I've nothing to say at this time ... thank you for your attention. Joe<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Then why not send me a file? Or are you too busy with your Mormon Wives? ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Alexander: For the time being, I use them as symbols to confuse my opponents about troop strength.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> This doesn't work, since the FOW rules always identify crews to prevent just such a deception. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jeff Heidman: What I realy like about MIOLI was how, at the end, both sides have fought it out, and are lying, spent, on the field of battle. Then that flight of B-24s comes over and carpet bombs the whole area, killing everything and everyone. That was cool! Really illustrated the futility of war... Jeff Heidman<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Curse you, sir, for a bounder! And the Devil take Marky Marks remaining armor... ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

Wenn ist das Nunstück git und Slottermeyer... ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jeremy Sadler: "What're ya legs?" "Steel springs!" "Where they gonna take ya?" "Down the track!" Pick the movie... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Gallipoli. Only movie that has ever made me cry. There, now you've done it. I'm feeling a little verklemmt...{sniff}...talk amongst yourselves.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy: Actually, I have a picture of my grandfather being harnessed into the predecessor to the 75mm IG (will post it in a couple of days). (snip) <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Andreas, I always knew you had a bit of horse's ass in you. Of course, if you were Mace, it would be the other way around... For the record, it is clear that any tank crew that was unhorsed would dismount it's HMG and run to the nearest abandoned mortar, which it would then fire at any M3A1s carrying a full squad. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

The Demo was like a big jam donut with cream on top: it's arrival gave us pleasure, and its completion left us hungering for more. The complete version is just pure crack. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by the infidel Great Satan Chupacabra, may his name be cursed and his entrails rot in the sun while swine nibble the remnants of his naughty bits: Machu Piccu. The remainder of your armored force rests in the shining bosom of Allah. Whereas my Stuart gunner will spend eternity receiving mind-blowing oral sex from the ghost of Betty Grable. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Please resend that file, as it was lost in the great Purgation of my e-mail system. I am in the process of expediting the passage of your heretic forces to the Seven Hells. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 12-28-2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by kunzler: Oh though (sic) great fonts of wisdom and knowledge, hear my pleas for illumination on the following subjects. What is the most cost effective type of artillery for Germans, British, and Americans? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The Supplicant asks with appropriate humility, therefore We will answer. Since no one has mentioned it, let me put in a quick word for the British 3" mortar on-board. I've had excellent results with it as both AP and light AT (HTs and opened tops) -- although I haven't used it since 1.05 came out and its anti-armor effectiveness may have been reduced. The 25 lber is also an excellent all-purpose artillery choice. As has been said, you can't beat the US 81mm for suppression, accuracy, and cost-effectiveness. I have less to say on German artillery, because I almost never have any. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Is it better and more cost effective to select regular or expert infantry? Tanks? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> This is really a matter of taste. Some people prefer fewer, better troops; others prefer sheer weight of numbers. Personally, I would rather have the points equivalent of regulars over veteran, but I'd take veterans over masses of greens or conscripts. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>When given the option, in most situations, would you spend more points than the average player on infantry, on tanks, on artillery, or on support units?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> There is no definitive answer to this question. This is truly, as they say in academe, a multi-factor system. More specifically, it depends on the side, the conditions, the mission, the opposition, the weather, the phase of the moon and how much bone creakin', trailer shakin', booty smackin', wake up the neighbors monkey love I'm gettin' at any given time. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Have you found a good (and cost effective) use for German half-tracks against American forces that likely have .50 caliber MGs?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Use their high-performance, precision-engineered, racing-tested power trains to drive your troops in leather-seated comfort to a safe drop off point. Then get their asses out of there until you've suppressed Ma Deuce. Alternatively, bring up something that can go boom from a fair distance off and suppress the hell out of GI Joe. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>How do you beat a strategy under the rule of 76s in a meeting engagement where your opponent pushes forward to the objectives with an infantry screen with Panthers behind them in an overwatch position and hidden guns or hull-down tanks guarding the flanks?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Two words, my friend: Ar-tillery. If you have the resources, cut off the vanguard from the overwatching armor with smoke and shell them to bits, or just open up on them with MG fire from cover. Smoke will also cover a move against his flank while you check his advance in the center. Do not attempt this without very good intelligence as to what your opponent has and where he has hidden it. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Berli has mentioned Fionn, Tomcat, and Sgt Morgue as great CM players. Do the rest of you agree, and what other players do the Cesspool denizens consider to be the toughest CM opponents?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> What a bunch of panty-waists and you may tell them I said so. For a real challenge, try Hiram: he is an Eagles fan and gets what he deserves. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Finally, does anyone know a really good Italian restaurant in Salt Lake City? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> There is no good food in Salt Lake City, unless you like pie. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 12-28-2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mark IV: Anyway, here I am on another road trip down in Foobar-land, and what do I spy on the shelf tonight but Glendronach 15? Never tried it, golden opportunity, so down the hatch. NOT recommended. Very alcoholic with a mediciny aftertaste. I was quite disappointed (the more so, since I passed up a perfectly good bottle of Laphroiag on the same shelf). I would be interested to know if our educated members have had similar experiences with the Glendronach, perhaps of different ages. Barring informed opinion to the contrary, it is off my list for good.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> This saddens me, for I have a virgin bottle of same sitting on my shelf. I picked it up my last time through Heathrow Duty-Free as an alternative to the Macallan, as it advertised itself as "Sherry Aged". Now I will have to husband my beloved bottle of Lagavulin to stave off the day when I must brave the prospect of two fingers of Glendronach down my throat. And I shall have to find a bottle of the Caol Ila, although NC being an ABC state, and the available scotch choices being reflective of that status, I don't hold out much hope. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

All I want for Feckmas is to have my bloody mailserver working again. Some of you useless eejits have been trying to send me files (MarkIV, Chuppy, Shaw, is it you?) and my stupid server keeps choking on them like last years fruitcake. At least I know it's not Geier because he's still comatose from the lutefisk enema he's received at the hands of my Gerbiljägers. I wish you all famine, pestilence, war and death and may you all find anatomically correct Real Dolls™ in your significant others' stockings (why they might be wearing your significant others' stockings is a question I'll leave to your imaginations). So, ho, ho, feck! Where's my flamethrower anyway? Prof. Doktor Hamster X Generalissimo and President-for-Life Hamster Liberation Front 1-800-HAMSTER Bah, Humbug™

I would have given it 8 out of 10, but because there was no mention of hamsters, it only rates a 2. Thank you for playing. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

etchings. This one is a Schwervolksgemüsespüler Ausf. G/44a1+ with the optional Insta-hot. I remember the time that I was ...

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Croda: I also feel it important to voice my opinion for the new thread's name. While G.I. Peng with Kung Fu grip and Hiram and Audrey's warm and fuzzy challenge thread are both fantastic options, I have a few more to offer: {Crap} Croda <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Once again Croda demonstrates the high levels of literacy and eloquence achievable in inner city child detention centers. Someone tell Crapulous to avail himself of www.dictionary.com and look up the word "grippe". It's right there next to "gripple", which, for his information, is not an afternoon beverage designed to fit in his favorite paper bag. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

My, my, gentle proto-hominids, to quote the poet, what a long, strange trip it's been. All that time in sunny Florida, away from the board, instantiating World Domination™, and some of you are no doubt thinking (if the feeble sputtering of neurons that occurs in what passes for your brain-pans can be dignified by the term), "Well, did he succeed or didn't he?" Only time will tell, gentles. Only time will tell. Not that the struggle was without challenges. One thing I will say is damn Sandra Day O'Connor and her extra-strength support hose. Now, however, the Hamster Liberation Front returns to its quotidian operations: subverting global institutions, intimidating world leaders, maximizing the contradictions inherent in the system, creating new and delicious repasts from Purina Hamsterchow. And, of course, ripping the guts out of various and sundry 'Pooligans. So much has happened in the last month or so: a trip to the land of gumtrees and back, and, er, well, that's it, I suppose. The actual doings in the 'Pool were totally banal, of course, since my participation was extremely limited. Well, that's about to change, for I Have Returned™. Now, I suppose, it's time for an update: Joe Shaw -- Yoohoo, anybody home? I'm waiting. And now you have a pretender to the title of Keeper of Mormon Wives. Geier -- I know it's dark and cold and your feeling suicidal as you crawl deeper and deeper into a hogshead of Akvavit. Do send us a turn before you drown and we'll put you out of your misery. Chupacabra -- You are surrounded. Put the BAR down and step away from the weapon. Put your hands above your head. Bend over and kiss your ass goodbye. Mark IV -- Hmm. It's like a snake swallowing its tail. Or an ambitious, lonely contortionist. Germanboy -- We have an assignation in the New Year. You shall be my first scalp of the New Millenium. I will put you in a place of honor, or perhaps I shall just knit you into a toilet seat cushion. More challenges will be forthcoming in the New Century. Now it's time for holiday cheer. Break out the toilet roll tubes and lighters, folks! BTW, in the light of recent events, the thread should be renamed "GI Peng with Kung Fu Grippe". Thank you for your prompt attention in this matter. Prof. Doktor Hamster X Generalissimo and President-for-Life Hamster Liberation Front 1-800-HAMSTER Now Is The Time For Bipartisanship™ [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 12-19-2000).]

Klemperer was not only a good musician, but extremely knowledgeable about classical music. I believe he was a regular on an NPR classical music quiz show along the lines of "Name That Tune." I loved Hogan's Heroes, no matter how politically incorrect it might have been. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 12-08-2000).]

No, not what you think. Just in time for Pearl Harbor Day, my university alumni magazine has published the reminisinces of several members of the Princeton Class of '42. Some of it is pretty good reading too, like the guy who took Goering's pistol. You can read it here: http://www.princeton.edu/~paw/archive_new/PAW00-01/06-1206/features.html To think that my alma mater was once an institution of which one could be proud... ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

Just another vote for vBulletin. The Private Messaging feature is useful, and could take a lot of otherwise OT clutter out of the main system. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Slapdragon: The author of Ogre and Car Wars is a genius.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Shame about that moniker his parents saddled him with though... I loved all those metagame portables. Hours of fun during junior high recess. ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

G'day Bruce, Just a quick update for Bruce Lorak before I stick my hand into the placental chamber of this pregnant croc: Germanbruce -- toppled, dead, defeated, smashed into dust and given a damn good thrashing. Even despite his tank thingies. Up the Ox and Bucks! Brucegeier -- the end is near and he can sense it. He sends his armor in a pathetic, yet strangely complimentary, attempt to penetrate my rear area. A warning: others have tried and failed, and you are not big enough or hard enough to succeed where they foundered. BruceIV -- ain't no way you're crossing that bridge and that's fair dinkum. Bruce Shaw -- if you spend much more time out in the snow, you'll catch cold. Maybe I'll throw another Panther on the barbie for you so you can warm up, cobber. Bruceacabra -- You're mine now and I'm going to use you the way a Kiwi uses his favorite sweater factory. Open wide and say 'Baa'. 'Struth, that's it mates. Now, be very quiet as I slip on this latex gauntlet, grease it up with KY jelly and sneak up on that naughty little tart of a croc... - Bruce This is the wattle, the symbol of our land. You can stick in a bottle, you can hold it in your hand. Amen. Crack tubes. [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 12-01-2000).]

The old order changeth and a new thingie takes its place or somefink. All these cyclical rotations of the Wheel of Time that isn't a wheel nor is it timely have made me wax all philosophical. Of course now I've used up all my philosophical wax, so I think it's time for a little sing-song. Given our new venue, and all the new Bruces who have come along to confuse things, there is only one song that fits the bill, Bruce. Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable. Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table. David Hume could out-consume Schopenhauer and Hegel. And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel. There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach 'ya 'bout the raising of the wrist. Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed. John Stuart Mill, of his own free will, after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill. Plato, they say, could stick it away, 'alf a crate of whiskey every day! Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, And Hobbes was fond of his Dram. And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am." Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed; A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he's pissed. 'Struth, I could do with a tinny right about now. But first let me just tickle the underbelly of this deadly funnel spider... ------------------ Ethan ----------- "We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University (Edited for dreadful mis-spellings of the names of various philosophers named Bruce) [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 11-28-2000).]