Mark IV

Marcel, a birthday? Damn, I thought I killed him twice before and he keeps coming back. Is it a coincidence that today's headline is France Overrun By Giant Frogs ? If all the French had his spirit, German trains would be running late now. [This message has been edited because HTML is stupid, not me. It's a good story so go find it your own damn selves, as if I need to wait on you lot hand and foot anyway] [This message has been edited by Mark IV (edited 04-03-2001).]

For some reason, I'll bet there are lots of shoes. I think he's got a shoe thing, ol' Dave does. Brown shoes, blue shoes, those shoes that looked so nice on Judy Garland but the straps hurt his feet but he can't bear to throw them out, all kinds of shoes. Probably stacked neatly somewhere. Yup, shoes.

The term manufacturers use to describe this attitude is: "distributor counter person". As in "know-nothing customer-shafter soon to be obsoleted by the Internet and good riddance want fries with that". When you start thinking that your extreme cases (customers) are "all of them" (LAMFs), you have reached your personal ceiling, which in such cases makes a roach motel look like a cathedral. Not that contempt for customers isn't a sound basis to build a business on, but the recent spate of layoffs in real industry might conceivably pose a threat to the deadwood masquerading as "help" in retail computing. But such thoughts are wasted on those who have advanced operating systems spliced into their genetic code. Most people are not qualified to be your customers, to be sure. Are you a stockholder? This is really a disgusting post to have to respond to, and belongs in some otherly-manifestoed bbs. I thought this kind of arrogance went out in the 70s. And it appears to be typical of... well, never mind. Some people are so shocked when the layoff notice comes, it's best to let justice take its course.

Vehicle data from the game shows the Sherman with size 100, the SdKfz 7/2 at 120, if I recall correctly from this AM.

I just ran through that scenario about 6 times (nice setup). However, on the last 3, I issued a group Move order to the Shermies. Just a steady Napoleonic-era advance to the enemy lines. The difference was pronounced. Sherms won every time (at great cost, to be sure). I think this was interesting and I'm not sure what it means (Shermans should shoot better while stationary, and AA guns are designed to hit moving targets... the range didn't close all that much by the end). The Sdkfz 7/2 should be easier to hit, since it has a higher profile than a Sherman. But it can certainly be taken out. If we accept that flat terrain tiles are abstractions and are not really billiard table flat, and hypothesize that AA crews are more adept and better equipped at making use of camo and fixed positions, we can rationalize some of this away, but then there is their ability to shoot on the move from a truck platform, where these advantages are negated. I guess I would agree that they are too hard to hit, but certainly not to the point of "cheating". Something to keep in mind for CM2, but not enough to stop the presses and fix. I would still use combined arms to defeat them in a real scenario. When I have time it would be interesting to compare them in the same scenario with other soft vehicles.

They are useful. However, I'm getting tired of killing them just to prove they're not death machines. I didn't use any great finesse, although I advanced behind trees. Put lots of metal on 'em and they die. They're supposed to be lethal.

Which is worse, tornadoes or hurricanes? O, gosh, they're both pretty bad, but how can we point fingers when an average of 60 million Americans operate a vacuum cleaner every week? Every time I wonder how banal and dull people can get, I find out. Sheesh.

Hiram, why would people who are score-keeping between Hitler and Stalins' death counts, and who equate same with refusal to sign the Kyoto agreement, and who are indeed indulging in circular back-patting in an exercise that frankly does not even belong in the General Forum despite weekly admonitions, but rather a late-night talk show for paint-huffing freshmen suddenly stricken by Blinding Flashes of the Obvious, even be interested in your opinion? Now you get back to your pool right now, young man. Sorry to butt in, all. Please carry on.

That sounded fun so I tried it. By turn 13: 6 dead Sd Kfz 7/2 (5 reg, 1 vet) 1 dead Sherman M4A1, 1 gun hit Sherm, 3 dead jeeps, 1 broken MG (all reg). Small map, village with light trees. Firing commenced at 570m. Only 1 AA blew up (tracked down at 60m). The rest were killed by tank MG fire or abandoned with continued near misses of HE. 3 of the Sd Kfz 7/2s maneuvered wildly, firing all the time. They were very difficult to hit with main gun rounds. The last one played hide-and-seek to the end. Might have gone a little better if my tanks and jeeps hadn't been so determined to wipe out the fleeing crews...

Lorak! Note the following, and note it well: The armed IVces have inflicted a crushing draw on the unterstompingfuehrermenschen commanded by OFGS. Mark IV: 43 OGSF: 47 This was a very cool QB meant to precisely simulate the Ardennes offensive. There was snow, there were giant rickets, there was... a &%#@$*% Hummel. There were flaming clanking things. And there was a small, ragtag band of misfits, a veteran Airborne unit, spit from the bowels of hell, with only 2 TDs in support, who looked fate in the face and said, "we are adequate". And so they were. And thus we have a draw. Special recognition to the minefields without whom all this would not have been possible. In a series of brilliant maneuvers (modeled on Napoleon's Ulm campaign, with Jacksonian flair and timing), they were precisely where they were needed, i.e., under my Hated Enemy's feet. I still feel that the move commands for minefields are undermodeled, and will soon post a 5000-word opinion on "Running With Minefields". This sneak preview (yes, Sneak is a viable option) is exclusive to the Peng Thread. A bitter, well-fought battle that should have been televised.

Careful, we all got decoder rings while you were gone. Sounds like you enjoyed yourSELF. [This message has been edited by Mark IV (edited 03-31-2001).]

I've been trying the same, though 500 pts. on small maps. Unfortunately these results say more about the AI's ability to plan an attack than the supposed invincibility of AA trucks. So far, I'm not finding a big problem. I lost two Sd Kfz 7/2 to small arms fire and one to a 'zook (under 100m) in 2 QBs. I also mixed in 20mm and 37mm stationary flaks. The AI's Shermans fared badly, but it didn't move them very smartly. Same for the infantry, though they persevered into shooting range. The stationary flaks are hard to spot, but get zapped when the infantry closes in. The AI has made no attempt to mortar or smoke the AAs. So, I gave the AI the flaks, and I attacked (regular Ami inf.). Trucks killed, one set ablaze by infantry fire at just over 100m. Flaks blocked with 60mm smoke & suppressed by mortars and MGs, flanked by infantry. I had only 1 M4A1, which killed one flak (while the 20mm was engaged from 2 sides by infantry) with the MG, and another in the same boat, next turn, with the Main Gun. Never got the 'zooks close enough to try 'em out; didn't need 'em. The AI had a platoon of veteran infantry plus mines and barbed wire to keep me honest. I lost guys, but all the AA things folded under heavy fire once spotted. They are very vulnerable to 100m rifle fire. I do think the stationary flaks are awfully resilient against infantry at ranges under 20m... grenades and 10 or so rifles seem to have trouble with 3 guys and a small cannon with a thin steel shield. Other than that impression, no problem found.

Thanks, Griff (and of course, Franko), the link worked great. I haven't tried any ubermegatank scenarios and now I'll search out a victim. Should be a good workout for the new puter.

The Peng Threaders have been alerted. Please do not touch their votes without protective equipment. Vote, ye swine.

Geier: Idiot Savant Consider the conundrum of one of my most promising, yet deeply disturbed, pupils. Some will recall his early aversion to advanced figures of speech, yet advanced pronoun therapy has worked wonders. There are at least two crudely-crafted relative pronouns in his latest effort, even though he obviously had help, and moves his lips when he types. This is a major step in his development and should be applauded by all, to bolster his self-esteem in a non-competitive way. How paradoxical, that he should now be challenged by e-mail, which is regularly configured by six-year-olds in the United States. An educator's day is never done. For next week's session, I shall have him set up a Dell laptop with Windows 2000, Office 2000, and a Novell network connection, and then have him configure a dial-up connection. Yes, it is harsh; but these troubled young minds must be toughened to function in the real world, lest they become a drag on the public weal. Perhaps then we can resume his destruction, which had only commenced when this latest bout of developmental disabilities struck.

A brilliant header. While Peter14incherinhisdreams is busy admiring himself, please click on over to http://www.gamespot.com/promos/cgwtop40/index.html ...and do the right thing, for science. It's not often we can make a positive contribution, though I wouldn't want that to put anyone off. Where the hell are my turns? If it wasn't for Meeks and OLSUVCIAFBI hurling themselves on my bayonets, I might as well be at work. Bunch of shape-shifting Hirams, you are. HB, Emma. Post more pix.

Peng is just another word, for nothin' left to lose...

'Tis true, the wretch elvis has, through an accounting error, logged a tactical victory over our Hero (me) at the low, low tally of 68-32. And the AI did indeed autosurrender my bravely-fighting a$$ while I was in the midst of exacting terrible revenge on the elventruppen. Actually it wasn't all that exact, or terrible, there being one operational AFV still cranking out the elv-wurst at the gamey end. It was about the last turn anyway. The AI is a gamey bastard, someone once said. And so it is. The major cause of this upset was my failure to comprehend that this scenario was conceived as a Meeting Engagement; I approached it as an Attack across a huge open expanse (thus a rather rare use of smoke). And I had CENSORED troops, the lamest barstids in the game. Also the sun was in our eyes and my leg hurt. No matter, my mistake, I pay the consequences cheerfully. There is a song in my heart, knowing that any tactically competent opponent could have pulled a Major out of this, left-handed, while piloting a dirt bike naked through a cactus nursery full of angry bees with the other. A word of advice to those who would play elvis: hope he takes plenty of armor. In fact, give him yours. If all his %&^$#^&%* infantry had been tanks I would have won this thing. Btw, this was by the runething and I would have to endorse it as a good medium PBEM with lots of death. Don't read the spoilers above. References available upon request.

In the beta demo, infantry were almost unable to fire the 'fausts, and had to have an HQ in command and no other visible targets at all to engage a tank. I guess this was fixed in the gold demo? Speculating: the larger aperture for closer ranges is consistent with military peep sights, which often have smaller apertures for longer ranges (lower margin of error for a smaller-appearing object in the sight picture). What is somewhat baffling is the reduction of the aperture again under 60m, unless this was thought to allow the shooter to focus on a specific portion of the target. In other words, the 60 and 80m settings are center of mass type sights. At closer ranges, the shooter might be encouraged to focus on the turret ring, engine compartment, or other weak point, which would be indistinguishable at the greater ranges. I imagine under 20m the force of the explosion and resulting particles would be of some concern to the shooter.

Don't panic... perhaps it's only foot and mouth. Geier has indeed taken the proverbial powder and blamed it on Microsoft. Perhaps he could find employment with our Justice Department. Goanna apparently had a good go against Moriarty, because he sent me the turn as well, hoping I wouldn't notice. Perhaps he was addled from pulling the night shift on Moron Patrol on the Outer Board. Or more likely, God hates him. Goanna does not believe in Germanboy (I can't explain it with facts, but I feel in my bowels that he exists). In a surprise development, OSFG has returned an amazing amount of turns in a single day, in which absolutely nothing happened. Until the last one. He arranged for the remains of Mir to be de-orbitted into my campsite, in lieu of actually showing up. GAMEY! Peng got his licks in and now he knows what's gonna happen. I am going to take him by the ear to the principal's office, I am (not because of violent behavior or anything he drew or brought to class, nothing like that, nosirree bob). Pawbroon surfaced again and has accused me of trying to kill his assets. How does one respond to this? elvis: cheating gamey anti-sequentialist bastard. meeksters? Any news? Sightings? Doing a Geier, or someone softer and more supple? Hurry back and lose, so I can make room for Berli's setup. I almost forgot von Schrad because I forgot I was playing him. Last seen, he was cooking my volksturm on the left, dancing merrily around the pot. I was doing the same to him on the right and he was running away or pulling some maneuverist crap. We take a dim view of that here, lad. I really didn't wish to post a stupid update but you newbie offal have almost let this off the first page again. Stop posting to the Outer Board, it's all been discussed before, and you have exactly zipzerozilch to contribute. Do a Search. [This message has been edited by Mark IV (edited 03-25-2001).]

And that, squire-lings, piss-boys and girls, wannabes, and passers-by, is why it's called the Peng Thread. Not the deckefeckehedron, nor the abbotoir, nor the leeeooodrome, but the Peng Thread. Doff your beanies (mind the propellers) and bow your brain stems in the presence of Peng. And take a good look, because I'm about to smash him into jelly.

Too late. He will now have to drag his gamey speech-impaired ass into the Ardennes and root me out like the mushroom-sniffing piggie he is. I am, by definition, the Good Guys. At least I let him buy his own Sturmjumbos.

My .02, one at a time: 1. A good many of the historical German attacks (for CMBO's frame) were associated with the Bulge, and other Winter '44 ops like Nordwind. Cool... Axis attacker, with snow. A great equalizer for QBs, quite historical, and humbling. 2. Some of you must be playing for money. (I happen to think this is a very interesting idea, played for stakes just high enough to be slightly painful. They would have to be anything goes, buy-your-own, map-unseen scenarios. I wonder what force mixes would look like then. For $100 USD, how would YOU do YOUR recon? Would you risk a Jagdpanzer Bogged in Damp and trees?) I do not have these problems with Peng threaders. The odd jeep recon rush, or sudden Ubertank, is just another of the many anomalies of battlefield life to be dealt with; never been a real problem. I'm glad I'm not in any of these ladders. PS: Germanboy and God are separate and distinct entities. The lack of divine tolerance for ignorance, and clumsiness with AFVs, are dead giveaways.