Joe Shaw
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Posts posted by Joe Shaw
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>So, understanding that I do not come to observe and grok the native Peng culture, but to trample and exploit it, I would accept Knighthood. The question is, which group of you will accept a Grog?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> A KNIGHTHOOD! Like hell lad! YOU are being proposed (and right glad you should of it too) as a SERF ... at best as the SQUIRE of some downtrodden Knight who has nothing better to do (any NUMBER come to mind). Don't aspire beyond your station lad. As to grogs, the CessPool already has an Official CessPool Grog ... though we've seen damned little of Simon Fox.
The Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread will OPPOSE any attempt to automatically elevate SlapHappy to Knighthood. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED SEANACHAI ... none of your Minniesoda Mind Tricks (you know ... the ones that usually begin "Hey what's that over behind you there?")
Joe
{edited (TWICE for Gawd's sake) to remove errors induced by spittle flecked keys ... said spittle resulting from my outrage}
[ 09-24-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I'm beginning to think that MrSlappy should be a serf or something. SIT DOWN PSHAW! Let me finish, then you can start your foaming at the mouth about traditions &cet.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Why, oh WHY I ask myself ... luckily I rarely remember what the question was so I'm spared the answer.
BUT ... in this case I ask myself why I must continually explain, yea even to the Olde Ones, the simple basic rules of CessPool membership?
Now in the case of Seanachai it's because he's a rebel donchaknow and enjoys flaunting the rules. Luckily (amazing string of luck for me I think you'll agree ... save having to read Seanachai's "why I lost to Lawyer" post of course), the Justicariate is ON to him and no harm will come to the CessPool by HIM I can assure you. In the case of Peng I suspect that it's yet ANOTHER case of alcohol induced amnesia.
SO ... Any Knight of the CessPool may simply announce his (or her) intention to have an SSN made "Serf" and it shall be done. Making a squire requires that a noviate be first a Serf and the sponsoring Knight then requests the boon of Lorak. While it IS contrary to tradition to allow a Squire to choose his Knight (I mean where would we be if every Tom, Dick and (sit DOWN Bauhaus) Lars got the idea that their opinion was of value I ask you), I SUPPOSE that, given the special circumstances of Slapdash we might make an exception ... should Lorak the Lost approve of course.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>As an past defender of the poor and downtrodden it does my heart good to kick the
Justicarate in the patootee...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Why you presumptious swine! The Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread is more than just one man ... be he ever so grand. It is a stand for tradition, a reservior of truth and a refuge for all TRUE CessPudlians. Count yourself fortunate that a member of the Justicariate would NEVER use his position to take revenge over a trivial matter like a CM loss.
Say though, you sound awfully PROUD of that win ... hmmmm.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I think what he means is that he would like BTS to have Microsoft's financial resources and staff. Then we'd have some more bells and whistles with the game.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> No, I figured that part out. But it's wrong on so many levels that I don't want to take the time to detail them, besides I see that he's started another thread and I'm sure that chapter and verse will be posted there shortly.
Oh ... Hi Dad!
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I wish a large company like Microsoft would buy CM so it would be better.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Uhhhh, I ... I'm not sure what to say to that ... remarkable statement.
I think I'll just sit back and watch the flames on this one.
Joe
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It is this that you must understand ... attornies are NOT to be trusted. We would, I know, rather it not be so. We would rather be able to trust and rely upon the legal profession which we must, on occassion (in the case of Stuka FREQUENT occassion), deal with. It is not so.
jd LIED, CHEATED and through the use of DISINFORMATION and other VILE and HATEFUL tactics, did defeat the forces of good ... namely mine.
He forced me to divide MY forces while he kept HIS tightly grouped, he forced me to attempt an UNSUPPORTED flank attack while he used AN ENTIRE COMPANY to support his response. And then, with a victory IN HAND and ASSURED, he did with malice aforethough ASSAULT and OVERWHELM my remaining few defenders atop the last VL. He didn't HAVE to do that, he would have won anyway AND HE KNEW IT! But his bloodlust would not be quenched and he DESTROYED THEM.
He is, I fear, an evil man.
Lorak!
jd: A desipicable and unjust WIN
Joe Shaw: An unjustified and unfair LOSS
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Okay, off my butt and on my feet, well, in a manner of speaking. I don't do scenario design standing up ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> SLACKER! Oh well, despite that I'll look forward to the scenarios ... I should be done mopping up Mace by that time.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Does anyone ELSE think that Seanachai had some bad toadstools: Am I to understand that Roborat and that other poxy villain, Capt. Foobar, aren't yet made Knights?!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ummm, YES you ARE to understand that and NO they aren't yet Knights. Why? If you'll PAY ATTENTION to THE WAY THINGS ARE DONE, i.e. the Traditions of the CessPool, you'll find that a squire is required to complete 5 (FIVE) CessPool matches before they are elevated to the rank of Knight. A close perusal of Lorak's site reveals to the discerning eye that each has accumulated a grand total of 2 (Two) matches. Therefore, ipso facto and draino ex machina, they are NOT YET ELIGIBLE FOR KNIGHTHOOD.
MY squires, acknowledged by all to be the best trained squires in the 'pool, ALL had to go through the trial by fire of FIVE MATCHES and By Gawd so will these squires or I'm not the Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread and CessPool Drain Commissioner ... mind you the last isn't really relevant but it sounds so good I couldn't leave it out.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Obviously Seanachai is still suffering from the effects of last nights debauchery:THAT'S A DAMNABLE LIE, SHAW! You are the Keeper of the Cesspool laws, bylaws, ways, means, merits, and are obligated to keep the drains somewhat clear.
It is Lorak, you vulgar sodomite, that is the Keeper of the Cesspool traditions! He is the Herald of the Cesspool, after all.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah Seanachai, it does my heart good to see that others have failures of memory as well. I quote to you the initial post of Lorak in which he suggested the post of Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Justicar - A Person that holds the power to punish transgressions of the Traditions, and one of the ultimate authorities in the organization. There is only one Justicar for each Clan at any one time, And all within the clan are subject to their authority, with the only exceptions being members of the Inner Circle.
Only Justicars can call a Conclave, where their judgements are dispensed. These are often harsh, as there are no written guidelines for penalties for specific crimes. And in addition, a Justicar's decisions may only be challenged by another Justicar or head Judge/enforcer. {emphasis added}<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> SO Seanachai, as is CLEARLY obvious, I hold "the power to punish transgressions of the Traditions" of the CessPool! Now you might, I suppose, cry foul in that the powers of the Justicar were only suggested by Lorak and not agreed to by ... oh let's say ... YOU ... <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR> Seanachai
Member
Member # 1302
posted 09-06-2001 11:30 PM
I think, Lorak, that you may have achieved the solution. This sounds right to me. I wasn't at all happy with the whole 'deputy'
Inquisitor bit.
Oh, and Dalem, lad, no one's poncing around after titles. Occasionally, here in the Peng Challenge Thread, we feel the need to stir the brew, as it were. Just as the tree of liberty must be frequently watered with the blood of patriots (probably very frequently, should Shaw accept the title of Justicar), so here in the Peng Challenge Thread the Mythology must be renewed, the legend deepened and enriched, ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> So it would appear that YOU agreed to the duties and responsibilities of the position and even it's role vis-a-vis the TRADITIONS of the CessPool. In other words, Seanachai FEH! Mind you you're right about the drains. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I once offered you that role, and you spurned it.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Herald, HAH! One might as well aspire to the position of Town Crier. None of your circumlocutions here lad. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Which places you in the position of Labrador Retriever to Lorak. Lorak will pass judgement on what constitutes an 'affront' to Cesspool traditions ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh ... I think not. You might recall the line "one of the ultimate authorities in the organization" AND "a Justicar's decisions may only be
challenged by another Justicar or head Judge/enforcer". So you see that YET AGAIN you are wrong ... and yet again an important tradition of the CessPool is upheld. But you still choose to quibble: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>... But for all issues that come under question, it is to Lorak that appeal must be made, short of conjuring the Old Ones themselves.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Seanachai I thought better of you (well, not really but it sounds good). To twist words isn't your style Sir, to change their meanings is beneath you. Note the phrase " a Justicar's decisions may only be challenged by another Justicar or head Judge/enforcer" and take especial note of the words "DECISIONS" and CHALLENGED" . This is FAR different from YOUR word choices of "issues" and "question". Lastly though, you assert: <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Notice, Shaw, there is no appeal to this concept, as even yerself has made appeal to Lorak to make official your existence.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah but it is by no means clear that Lorak is the "head judge/Enforcer" , especially as YOU (along with the other Olde Ones) seem insistent upon taking THAT duty unto yourselves!
Seanachai ... there is no shame in admitting that posts were made "under the influence", and forgiveness is available to those who admit their transgressions ... I'd consult with the Father Confessor were I you. Sin must be expiated you know.
Joe
edited to remove the phrase "Seanachai' is a big poo-poo head", not because it isn't true, but because I'm a better man than to stoop to such vulgarity}
[ 09-22-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>What is wrong with you kkknnniiiggghhhiiitttsss anyway???, It is pretty bad when a lowly squire (albeit the senior squire) has to rescue the most holy
thread from the insult of relegation to page 2. I think some punnishments are in order.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Normally that might be true, but the ISSUE here is one of CessPudlian Traditions ... luckily for YOU I'm the keeper of the Traditions of the CessPool. Where, I ask you, would the CessPool be without drunks? Whether they are open and obvious drunks like Peng or the more sedate and covert drunks like ... uh ... hmmmm, actually there AREN'T any sedate and covert drunks. The point is, young Roborat, that without drunks the CessPool just isn't the CessPool, the ambiance would be different ... it might smell better but it would be different.
THEREFORE ... taking the inhabitants of the CessPool to task for being absent on a Friday night in the USA is to suggest that they ignore their DUTY. Yes it's a hard duty, but one they undertake proudly and diligently. Here's to ya CessPoolers, have another on the Justicariate!
What's that? ... the Australians? They're sleeping it off and won't be worth a damn for another twelve hours or so ... actually they won't be worth a damn even then but ...
Joe
{not edited to refer to other nationalities because upon reflection I decided that they matter even less than Australians}
[ 09-21-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Hmmm, overestimating the youth's loading, as it were? Perhaps wishfully? I think all would agree that the aforementioned SSN didn't display enough velocity in his wit here as to warrant a 22 Short, or even a
gallery load.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ummm, good point Agua, I was referring, of course, primarily to the CALIBER and not the loading but your point is well taken. It's been a while since I'd fired a .22 and I forgot the options available.
Grog.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I read the IV% that matter, and we did so have haunted Stuarts that skeet shot Messerschmidts while blowing up Panthers. I have the documentation.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> [sneer] Oh REALLY Mk IV [/sneer]? Golly, I don't think ANY of US have that documentation. YOU IDIOT! Everyone knows about "The Haunted Tank". Maybe if you would spend a LITTLE more time you might discover some of the more overlooked sources such as Marvel's Sgt. Fury and the Howling Commandos (which, btw, actually used the line "This baby was built on a Panzerkampfwagen IV chassis... if you want a body by Fisher buy a Cadillac.") which was FAR more informed and informative than that DC swill YOU promote. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>YOU are just jealous because we now have a REAL liar and libeller in our midst, thus cheapening the market for our domestic doctors of
jurisprudence. Until Mr. Fenno, if that is his real psuedonym, tires of his latest crusade, we can get bad information and poor advice for FREE. But fear not, he will soon be finnished.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I noted that young Rommell 22 Long Rifle posted a 3D model of a Mk IV (the short barreled version that OUR Mk IV most closely resembles) in which he stated that it wasn't "Finnished" ... I MANFULLY resisted the temptation, but OH ... the possibilities. Mind you it was a very nice model, I give him that.
I suspect, on a different note, that Seanachai hadn't brought his "A" game when he posted ... otherwise no one would have dared refer to him as JUST "pretentious".
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Mensch claimed that: even my wife knows the difference, heck over time my wife knows what a Gyrostablizer is or a Sturmgeschutz is. which blew me away!!! Heck she knows when a box of Fallschirmjäger from Dragon comes in and asks what that is, and I say WOOPIE!!! Fallschirmjägers!! WOoT! (yes she knows what woot is too!) She smiles and says "ugh, another box? I guess that will go with your StuH 42 huh?"<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Wow Greg, she sounds like a witty, intelligent, discerning and thoroughly charming young lady ... was she ill when she met you then?
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>...Now to attend to matters here *ahem*: You sir (if you are even worth of that title), Mr. Seanachai, have inflicted a grevious and wanton blow against my gentlemanly manner. You may therefore consider yourself challenged to a duel. ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now, now, don't jostle boys, there's still plenty of good seats available. Don't forget to visit our snack bar and get your refreshments early ... wouldn't want to miss Seanachai's response to this SSN now would you?
I blame David Aitken for his hideously incomplete rules.
Look Capstain Whacker, SSNs (Scum Sucking Newbies ... YOU if it's necessary to explain further) should not embarrass themselves by challenging Knights of the CessPool, you'll be lucky to get the notice of the back of their hand. You, in your ignorance, managed to not only choose Seniour Knights BUT TWO of the Olde Ones! Rookie mistake lad, rookie mistake.
It's NOT to late to just SOD OFF you know ... save yourself the time and trouble, beat the rush, get out of the parking lot early.
Joe
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ooOOGahhh, ooOOGahhh, ooOOGahhh
Lars: All be upstanding for the Semi-Regular and almost previously scheduled GAME UPDATE of Sir Joe Shaw, Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread and CessPool Drain ... uh ...
Joe Shaw: Commissioner you FOOL ***BOOT***.
Lars: ouch CessPool Drain Commissioner You Fool ... sorry Sire.
{grumble} Squires these days ...
I have WAY too many games going so if I miss one or two or seem to give some short shrift ... tough.
Berli: After his "triumph" in the Peng-Conceived (which is analogous to "ill-Conceived" only worse) abortion he is now fitfully attacking in a blitz battle by Mensch ... so far he's managed to find JUST the right avenues of approach that allow my artillery to hit him ... way to go Berli.
jd: He's winning, hooray for him. The GOOD news is that it's about over and I may not have to play him for a while. Not because he's any GOOD mind you, just because he's ... well ... jd.
Agua Perdido: My former loyal and trustworthy squire is sneaking around the bocage and setting up ambushes and hitting and running and ... you get the idea. He's also sending turns at a GLACIAL pace, maybe he knows something, hmmmm? Delaying the ineveitable are we?
Mace: I HATE Goanna ... now one might wonder why, in a report on a game with Mace, I take the time to complain about Goanna. First, it's NEVER a bad time to complain about Goanna, but second, HE created this snow-bound ... THING ... that we're fighting. Mace is taking FOREVER to move anywhere but the good news is that I finally got some reinforcments so I might actually have a chance ... hey ... it COULD happen.
Mark IV: This is a really strange game , again by Mensch, you'd think I'd learn. So far it's not looking good for the good guys (ME) and Mensch is a sneaky swine for creating it in the first place ... I mean, come on ... POLISH? And frankly he'd have been more honest just to label half the setup zones as "suicide zones". Thanks for the fighting chance there pal!
Mensch: Speaking of gamey swine, how's about coming out in the open and FIGHTING like a MAN! Sheesh, he sneaks around in the forest, setting up ambushes and, GET THIS, my Panthers can't support my infantry that deep into the woods ... IS THAT FAIR?
Moriarty: Why, oh why do I get stuck with all the winter scenarios? Is it because I spent so much time in northern Montana? Is it because I said so MANY bad words about the winters there? I THINK this was a MrSpkr masterpiece, you know, fourteen gazillion square miles of front and 500 points to attack with. So far it's been INCREDIBLY boring ... like I said ... MrSpkr created it.
MrSpkr: And for something COMPLETELY different we have THIS little gem created by Berli in which MrSpkr is attacking with his French, I'm defending with my Germans and we're both REQUIRED to pound the snot out of the same town we're attacking/defending with massive artillery. Needless to say, there are more than a FEW rounds that are going astray.
Peng: The highlight of the game SO FAR came about when Peng drove his HT AND towed gun right past my flamethrower ... it was lovely. His first attempt at an attack was aborted VERY quickly and he promptly changed his plan ... at least ... I'm ASSUMING he has a plan.
Bauhaus: He has begged more time due to real life issues.
Seanachai: He stands off with his bloody tanks and shells the snot out of my town ... AND ... he doesn't even have the nerve to drive into the LOS of my ATGs ... talk about gamey.
Stuka: Have I mentioned that he has played this scenario from MY side and so this ISN'T a double blind game? Amazingly he seems to know EXACTLY what I have and EXACTLY what avenues of approach would work best, but then the really GOOD commanders always did have that sixth sense didn't they.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I wanted to get some turns out this evening, but after attempting to play out my game with Shaw, and spending several minutes cursing and growing increasingly frantic about my inability to target one of my own infantry squads with one of my own tanks, ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Never let it be said, Seanachai, (say, now THAT'S a good idea, never let Seanachai be said, by George {you know George, that outerboarder who prattles on and on about whether it's an 81mm mortar or just an 80.8mm mortar and why can't it run anyway} I think I'm on to something ... or perhaps I'm just ON something) ... where was I? Oh yeah, Seanachai, do what I do when faced with that conundrum ... I throw a towel over my head so that since I can't see IT, IT, being of about the same intelligence as Stuka (though NOT as gamey, I can't see {get it, TWO "see" references in one} a Conundrum playing a non-double blind game) thinks IT can't see ME and wanders away ... hah, hah, just kidding, that's the bugblatter beast ... I think. Anyway I just target a piece of ground as close to my own unit as possible and fire area fire. Go ahead, I'll wait for you, you might want to try several times so you're sure you have it right.
Oh ...
hope you're felling better ... opps, my bad, I CLEARY meant FEELING better, can't imagine what I was thinking.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>You have my word, which is better than "proof" that could be misinterpreted. If you were a gentleman, instead of Just-a-Car, you would need nothing more.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Let's see if I've got this right, we have:
A CessPudlian ... who is ...
A LAWYER ... who ...
Works for the Government ... and ...
Alleges that we should TAKE HIS WORD!
Right.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Many of you have lamented that I don't post enough, so I'll do a quick one this morning to boost the MBT up top again.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Come now Counselor (may I call you Coun?), let's see some evidence on that assertion. We of the Justicariate beg leave to express our doubt since (a) "Many" implies ... indeed DEMANDS, more than one, (
Even ONE would be stretching it ... we personally don't know ANYONE who wants to see even one more post from you and finally © no one in the CessPool "laments" ... we certainly bitch, piss and moan, wail and gnash teeth but we DON'T lament.Enough of these vague allegations Lawyer, provide PROOF or shut up ... or just take the short cut and shut up.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Thats enough for me. See ya in hell suckers!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Does ... does this mean you're leaving then? ... Cool! Hmmm, you know guys maybe we should consider the "P.C.D." (Peng Constipation Defense) against future SSN incursions!
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Plus, it annoys Berli, since we're supposed to be play-testing the scenario.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ah, Agua, it does my heart good to see that my former squire, now a Knight in his own right, has taken my lessons to heart. Obviously it would have been difficult for you to prioritize in this situation but clearly delaying playing me (as difficult as that MUST have been for you) must take second place to the all important task of annoying Berli. Clear thinking lad ... you {sniff}, you do me proud.
Joe
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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Besides, I also need an excuse to avoid sending stevetherat turns. Not that our game is going badly, he's just a bastard and I hate him. I think I'll start sending him files from my game with Croda.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Do you think he'd notice then? Speaking of NOT SENDING TURNS ...
Joe
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So ... numbering turn files is for idiots eh? <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>So obey me and take your best shot at
the person with the most wins in the 'pool.
But remember my rule about numbering. Send me a turn that is numbered and you will never see a reply.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Not only is this the clown who is certain that we care about his shaving habits, but now he challenges the Vice Justicar of the Peng Challenge Thread AND BOASTS ABOUT HIS WINS! Now that's just ... really bright.
Lars oh Lars, is the Iron Maiden ready? Fresh lipstick too, good job lad, good job.
And he thinks that numbering files is for idiots ... I don't think he's clever enough to figure out how to do it!
Joe
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The Scene: A torchlit, dim and dank stone chamber with but one door set deep in the side of the chamber. Upon the floor of the chamber are numerous instruments of ... uh ... truth ... yeah, that's it, truth and investigation. One of the instruments resembles a wooden table with ropes and windlasses, it is stained, though in the dim torchlight the source of the stain cannot be determined ... this is likely for the best.
Upon the table is a figure, a most sad and disreputable figure indeed as he is clad in a rough brown robe. The robe is stained and smells foul, again it's best not to speculate. His arms and legs are bound by the ropes which are stretched taut by the windlasses. A dirty gag is bound tightly over his mouth and face but does little to mute the occassional gasps and groans. Standing by the side of the rack, for thus it indeed is, is another figure, this a grim and stalwart lad in an identical, though far less smelly robe.
Suddenly the door creaks open to reveal two figures ... both are garbed in the lime green and dayglo orange robes of Knights of the CessPool. Together they step to the rack. The elder Knight addresses the standing lad:
Joe Shaw: Lars, what is this then? Have you found a miscreant? Has someone violated the traditions of the CessPool?
Lars: Sir Joe and Sir MrSpkr, I am honored by your presence ...(s). Yes sire, I took it opon myself to lure this foul creature here with promises of a game with your eminence.
Sir Joe glances at Lars with a stern expression ... his right foot begins to show signs of lifting from the ground ... Lars cringes and hurries to explain.
Lars: Your pardon Sir Joe but it seemed best and he did come and I was able to overpower him and place him upon the Table of Truth.
Joe and MrSpkr confer in whispers for a moment, both nod and then Joe speaks:
Joe Shaw: Well done Lars, your diligence in this matter has been noted and a position within the ranks of the Justicariate may be available upon your elevation to Knighthood ... now ... let us see what we can determine from this creature.
Joe leans closer to the bound and gagged figure and examines the tethers carefully.
Joe Shaw: So my good man, what have YOU done to fall afoul of the Justicariate of the Peng Challenge Thread? A little treason perhaps ... a bit of outerboardism maybe ... groggly tendencies I dare say?
Bound Figure: UuuMmmMppphhh Ummphhhfff ... UMMMPHHH!
Joe Shaw: Sorry I didn't get that, did you get that MrSpkr?
MrSpkr: No, no I didn't, might be another SSN you know ... they make so little sense.
Joe Shaw: True, true, but being SSNs they really aren't subject to the Justicariate ... perhaps a bit of ... encouragement?
With this Joe nods to Lars who bends to a bar affixed to the windlass and enthusiastically clicks off another pawl on the rachet. Various ... unpleasant ... sounds emerge from the Bound Figure.
Joe Shaw: Blast, didn't understand that either.
MrSpkr: Hmmm, no. Me either, I wonder what can be done to improve the sound?
Lars: Perhaps Sire, perhaps if I remove the mask and gag?
Joe and MrSpkr look uncomfortable for a moment, glance at the floor and slowly nod their heads in unison.
Joe Shaw: Uh ... yes, I was just going to suggest that, go ahead Lars.
Lars reaches forward and unties the mask and gag, revealing the purple and rather uncomely face of ... Moriarty!
Moriarty: BLAST YOU JOE SHAW, what's the meaning of this outrage, I'm a Knight of the CessPool!
Joe and MrSpkr look at Moriarty with utter shock and dismay writ upon their faces, they CLEARLY had NO IDEA that he was the victim of this travesty ... CLEARLY ... NO IDEA WHATSOEVER ... OBVIOUSLY ... no, really.
Joe Shaw: Lars, I am shocked and dismayed ... I had NO IDEA, CLEARLY, that Moriarty was the victim of this travesty.
MrSpkr: Nor I Sir Moriarty, NO IDEA, NONE, CLEARLY ... oh yeah uh ... Shocked and Dismayed at this travesty. Lars ... unhand him immediately.
With this Lars bounds to the windlass and, unfortunately, forgets that it's set on "tighten" and pushes the bar.
Moriarty: aaarrrRRRGGHHHH!
Joe Shaw: Lars ... Lars I am ... overcome with shame at your ineptitude ... I must ... I must ...
Joe, CLEARLY overcome with emotion, staggers and UNFORTUNATELY leans upon the bar to the windlass AGAIN.
Moriarty: ARRRRRGGGHHHHHHH!
MrSpkr: Oh Sir Joe you must remove yourself from the bar before MORE damage is done ...
MrSpkr lunges for Joe but slips upon the stone flags and HIMSELF lands upon the bar to the windlass ...
Moriarty: AAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Lars jumps to the windlass control and releases the pawl. Unfortunately the ropes, now freed of their tension, lash from the windlasses like snakes gone mad and whip the straining form on the rack again and again.
Moriarty: OUCH, damit, Ouch, OWWWW, Damn, OUCH. What's the meaning of this outrage Sir Joe? I've done nothing wrong!
Joe Shaw: Quite right ... Lars, what's the meaning of this outrage that I CLEARLY had NO KNOWLEDGE of WHATSOEVER?
Lars: Sire, I read the remarks of Sir Moriarty and felt that criticism of Sir MrSpkr would certainly fall within the purview of the Justicariate. If I did wrong Sire, please ... please put in the boot.
With this Lars turns and presents the rear of his robe, curiously enlarged from previous views as if ... stuffed with something.
Joe Shaw: Indeed I shall Lars, for you know that I had ABSOLUTELY NO KNOWLEDGE of this and the Justicariate would NEVER, NEVER use it's position for personal revenge over remarks ... HOWEVER FOUL AND DESPICABLE ... not to mention clearly untrue ... made by others. Take your punishment lad.
-boot-
Moriarty: THAT'S IT? I GET STRETCHED ON THE BLOODY RACK AND THAT'S THE PUNISHMENT?
Joe and MrSpkr throw their arms, albeit carefully, around Moriarty and lead him from the chamber.
Joe Shaw: Oh NO, Sir Moriarty, No the REAL PUNISHMENT will come later, doesn't do to administer punishment in public you know, fragile young minds and the sort. Of course you know that neither MrSprk nor myself had ANY ADVANCE KNOWLEDGE of this travesty ... right MrSpkr?
MrSpkr: Oh NO, NONE AT ALL, a travesty, wish we had known, might have been able to stop it in it's tracks ... pity ... of course I would NEVER aspire to take Sir Joe's rightful position ... NEVER.
Joe Shaw: No ... Never ... hmmmm
Joe looks oddly at MrSpkr ... as if measuring his length against lengths of ... rope?
Joe
[ 09-17-2001: Message edited by: Joe Shaw ]
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Damn it Mensch your HOME firewall is worse than the one at work ... at least at work ICQ will EVENTUALLY get through. Either fix, do somefink, or stop sending me ICQ messages from home 'cause I CAN'T RESPOND!
Joe
Even ONE would be stretching it ... we personally don't know ANYONE who wants to see even one more post from you and finally © no one in the CessPool "laments" ... we certainly bitch, piss and moan, wail and gnash teeth but we DON'T lament.
A Peng Challenge Too Far
in Combat Mission Archive #3 (2001)
Posted
<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Oh WELL done Seanachai, now the fool is posting regularly here ... there'll be an accounting Seanachai, never fear: Shaw and Perdido, you forget that like all social workers looking in on a
troubled family, I remain above the fray.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Socially diseased perhaps ... and in truth I can't blame you (except for your delusions of grandeur) ... I CAN AND DO blame that fool Seanachai for his ANTI-CESSPUDLIAN tactics. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I think Elijah Meeks already made me a knight a long time ago,<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> As if Meeks could make his mark ("X" IIRC), let along a Knight. There are procedures and rules here laddy me lad, wheels within wheels so to speak of which you know NOTHING. In other words ... shut the hell up and let your betters (which at this point in time includes creatures such as Panzer Leader ... hey I never said it was fair) sort it out. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>So, I will continue to defend Pengdom outside its boundaries like a good quasi liberal do gooder should (perhaps starting a save the wild cess organization and pocketing 98% of the proceeds as overhead) while you
functionaries bicker over my laurals and awards.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> All right thinking people defend and support Pengdom, but you are on the right track. Were you to post here on a regular basis I TOO would support your elevation to Serfdom ... you see, though I am called the Hammer of the CessPool I TOO have a forgiving side. Why just the other day I forgave a poor Serf who was ... under investigation ... for bleeding on my hip waders, I'm a caring kind of guy and appreciate your efforts.
I particularly liked the 98% racke ... uhhhh ... fee and think we might be able to work out an accomodation. BUT ... you must be judged worthy of the CessPool and the accepted procedure for that is an apprenticeship as Serf then as Squire. Don't be looking for any awards beyond the BOOT at this point.
Joe