MrSpkr Posted April 1, 2001 Share Posted April 1, 2001 Originally posted by 109 Gustav: someone with a Holy Hand Grenade. "What great luck," said Mace. "I happen to have such a grenade. Here, catch. One... two... five... "Three sire!" "Three!" And he did hurleth the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch (one of the relics Brother Maynard carried) unto his enemies and blew them to tiny bits, in God's mercy. Meanwhile, back on the ranch . . . ------------------ But we're saying goodbye to them all We're Harry's police force on call! So put back your pack on The next stop is Saigon Don't bless the few bless 'em all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannheim Tanker Posted April 1, 2001 Share Posted April 1, 2001 Originally posted by MrSpkr: Gustav, Maximus, and Mannheim Golfcartdriver were finishing up on the back nine, when all of a sudden this vicious rabbit charged out of the woodline. Maximus swung at the beast with his nine iron and missed (much like he does on the course). Gustav in turn took a swing and... ------------------ Andreas himself will attest that my massive ego and foolhardy belief in my own greatness would never allow for me to be anyone's worshipper - Hamsters [This message has been edited by Mannheim Tanker (edited 04-01-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maximus Posted April 1, 2001 Share Posted April 1, 2001 Originally posted by Mannheim Tanker: Gustav, Maximus, and Mannheim Golfcartdriver were finishing up on the back nine, when all of a sudden this vicious rabbit charged out of the woodline. Maximus swung at the beast with his nine iron and missed (much like he does on the course). Gustav in turn took a swing and... ...struck Mannheim in his gnads. Bowing over in pain, Mannheim gasped, "You idiot, the rabbit, not my eggs! (read testicles)" From there, Gustav said "Oops, sorry 'bout that, I thought they looked a bit bare for a rabbit." Meanwhile Phillies was off in the background laughing his Phan off at Gustav's error and then... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannheim Tanker Posted April 2, 2001 Share Posted April 2, 2001 Originally posted by Maximus: ...struck Mannheim in his gnads. Bowing over in pain, Mannheim gasped, "You idiot, the rabbit, not my eggs! (read testicles)" From there, Gustav said "Oops, sorry 'bout that, I thought they looked a bit bare for a rabbit." Meanwhile Phillies was off in the background laughing his Phan off at Gustav's error and then... ...lined up with his wedge to take a shot at the rabbit himself. WHIFFF!!! A cloud of dirt and grass clippings erupted about him, but the rabbit scurried on taking a hunk of meat from Gustav's knee as he raced by. "It's merely a flesh wound!" cried Gustav. He reached into his bag... ------------------ Andreas himself will attest that my massive ego and foolhardy belief in my own greatness would never allow for me to be anyone's worshipper - Hamsters Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted April 2, 2001 Share Posted April 2, 2001 Originally posted by Mannheim Tanker: "It's merely a flesh wound!" cried Gustav. He reached into his bag... pulled out a herring, and began to chop down a tree with it. When Phillies asked him what he was doing, Gustav replied "Obviously I'm... ------------------ The Last Defense- Made any scenarios? Send them here! Well my skiff's a twenty dollar boat, And I hope to God she stays afloat. But if somehow my skiff goes down, I'll freeze to death before I drown. And pray my body will be found, Alaska salmon fishing, boys, Alaska salmon fishing. [This message has been edited by 109 Gustav (edited 04-02-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by 109 Gustav: Gustav replied "Obviously I'm... ...partaking of the famous fish slapping dance with you" Phan responded, "you silly git, that's a tree, not me!" "Oh damn", Gustav replied, "my vision must be shot from all this... [This message has been edited by Mace (edited 04-02-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by Mace: ...partaking of the famous fish slapping dance with you" Phan responded, "you silly git, that's a tree, not me!" "Oh damn", Gustav replied, "my vision must be shot from all this... [This message has been edited by Mace (edited 04-02-2001).] ...fishing and carousing with hirsute women. Their mustaches tickle and I enjoy the blubber so. I live in a shanty and have 14 raincoats. My favorite pickup line is "Arr, Matey" and am easily confused by knock knock jokes. But, enough about me. Let me tell you a story of the time when I was a wee lad with a fishing pole and nothing much to do. It was a sunny day and my Pa(107) took me and my twin (108) out for a day of fishing. We sat in our boat and listened to him tell us about how he almost caught "the big one" and how... ------------------ "Sturm, Swung, Wucht" - Lt. Gen. Erwin Rommel http://www.derkessel.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DekeFentle Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 His "big one" was almost in turn caught. Onward and upward I cryed grabing my... ------------------ Winning is why we play! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by DekeFentle: Onward and upward I cryed grabing my... roll of electrical tape, knife, boots, gloves, sweatshirt, and raingear. Finally I was ready to go fishing. I got in the skiff and asked Phillies what a hirsute women is, and if he was one. Phillies replied, "A hirsute women is... (PS- I only have one raincoat, not 14. Smells real good at the end of the summer, too. And in the summer pickup lines are useless for me, because I get off work at 9 PM on a good day and have to wake up at 4:30.) ------------------ The Last Defense- Made any scenarios? Send them here! Well my skiff's a twenty dollar boat, And I hope to God she stays afloat. But if somehow my skiff goes down, I'll freeze to death before I drown. And pray my body will be found, Alaska salmon fishing, boys, Alaska salmon fishing. [This message has been edited by 109 Gustav (edited 04-03-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phillies Phan Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by 109 Gustav: roll of electrical tape, knife, boots, gloves, sweatshirt, and raingear. Finally I was ready to go fishing. I got in the skiff and asked Phillies what a hirsute women is, and if he was one. Phillies replied, "A hirsute women is... (PS- I only have one raincoat, not 14. Smells real good at the end of the summer, too. And in the summer pickup lines are useless for me, because I get off work at 9 PM on a good day and have to wake up at 4:30.) ...hirsute means "hairy". The Phillies Phan was ininuating that you date hairy women. Perhaps a dictionary is in order. There was something much more interesting than the sad social life of a fisherman with a small pee-pee. There was a cataclysmic weather pattern that threatened... (PS Nobody really cares what 113 Gustav says to women or why he fears them as competition.) ------------------ "Sturm, Swung, Wucht" - Lt. Gen. Erwin Rommel http://www.derkessel.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted April 3, 2001 Share Posted April 3, 2001 Originally posted by Phillies Phan: ...hirsute means "hairy". The Phillies Phan was ininuating that you date hairy women. Perhaps a dictionary is in order. There was something much more interesting than the sad social life of a fisherman with a small pee-pee. There was a cataclysmic weather pattern that threatened... a cancellation of today's baseball game between the Phillies and the Kodiak Bears, a 3rd rate high school team. Phillies was overjoyed, both because he wouldn't have to watch his team get their faces smashed in the dirt, and because... ------------------ The Last Defense- Made any scenarios? Send them here! Well my skiff's a twenty dollar boat, And I hope to God she stays afloat. But if somehow my skiff goes down, I'll freeze to death before I drown. And pray my body will be found, Alaska salmon fishing, boys, Alaska salmon fishing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted April 4, 2001 Share Posted April 4, 2001 Originally posted by 109 Gustav: Phillies was overjoyed, both because he wouldn't have to watch his team get their faces smashed in the dirt, and because... ...it's not a real sport anyhow. Now Aussie rules, that's a sport! And the Geelong football club "Carna' Cats" the greatest sporting club in the world. With that, Mace began a stirring rendition of the club song: "OOooooooOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo..... We are Geelong, the greatest team of all, We are Geelong we’re always on the ball, We play the game as it should be played, At home or far away. Our banners fly on high, from dawn to dark, Down at Kardinia Park. So! Stand up and fight, remember our tradition, Stand up and fight, it’s always our ambition, Throughout the game to fight with all our might, Because we're the mighty blue and white And when the ball is bounced, to the final bell, Stand up and fight like hell." Another fine Sport that we aussies excel at is cricket which is akin to... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrspkr2 Posted April 4, 2001 Share Posted April 4, 2001 Originally posted by Mace: ...it's not a real sport anyhow. Now Aussie rules, that's a sport! And the Geelong football club "Carna' Cats" the greatest sporting club in the world. With that, Mace began a stirring rendition of the club song: "OOooooooOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo..... We are Geelong, the greatest team of all, We are Geelong we’re always on the ball, We play the game as it should be played, At home or far away. Our banners fly on high, from dawn to dark, Down at Kardinia Park. So! Stand up and fight, remember our tradition, Stand up and fight, it’s always our ambition, Throughout the game to fight with all our might, Because we're the mighty blue and white And when the ball is bounced, to the final bell, Stand up and fight like hell." Another fine Sport that we aussies excel at is cricket which is akin to... playing baseball with tennis rackets. Of course, watching it is as excrutiating as having your eyes gouged out with . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted April 4, 2001 Share Posted April 4, 2001 Originally posted by mrspkr2: playing baseball with tennis rackets. Of course, watching it is as excrutiating as having your eyes gouged out with . . . shrubbery being wielded by not one, but two mrspkers, who apparently were reproducing faster than... ------------------ The Last Defense- Mods, scenarios, and more! Well my skiff's a twenty dollar boat, And I hope to God she stays afloat. But if somehow my skiff goes down, I'll freeze to death before I drown. And pray my body will be found, Alaska salmon fishing, boys, Alaska salmon fishing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannheim Tanker Posted April 4, 2001 Share Posted April 4, 2001 Originally posted by 109 Gustav: shrubbery being wielded by not one, but two mrspkers, who apparently were reproducing faster than... ...911 Gustav's relatives at a family reunion. Speaking of straight family trees... ------------------ Andreas himself will attest that my massive ego and foolhardy belief in my own greatness would never allow for me to be anyone's worshipper - Hamsters Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted April 4, 2001 Share Posted April 4, 2001 Originally posted by Mannheim Tanker: ...911 Gustav's relatives at a family reunion. Speaking of straight family trees... Mannheim Honeywagon's would have made an excellent telephone pole, were it not for all the extra fingers and toes present on most of his family members. Mannheim's favorite member of his distorted family was his uncle. Mannheim smiled as he remembered "playing" with old Uncle Zeke Honeywagon behind the barn. Besides "Find the hidden weasel," their favorite game was... ------------------ The Last Defense- Mods, scenarios, and more! Well my skiff's a twenty dollar boat, And I hope to God she stays afloat. But if somehow my skiff goes down, I'll freeze to death before I drown. And pray my body will be found, Alaska salmon fishing, boys, Alaska salmon fishing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted April 4, 2001 Share Posted April 4, 2001 Originally posted by 109 Gustav: Besides "Find the hidden weasel," their favorite game was... ... a form of leapfrog which first of all involved removing all their... [This message has been edited by Mace (edited 04-04-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrspkr2 Posted April 4, 2001 Share Posted April 4, 2001 Originally posted by Mace: ... a form of leapfrog which first of all involved removing all their... back hair, then . . . __________________ [warning - warning - rant alert . . .] Don't get me started about the name change. Apparently, Battlefront's server is not secure enough for Bigfoot.com, so they have blocked this address. Unfortunately, I did not know that when I switched e-mail addresses -- see [url=http://www.battlefront.com/discuss/Forum8/HTML/001424.html] -- and noone from tech support has returned emails or responded to my tech support post (even if to tell me tough luck!). Sigh. So I had to clone for the time being. [This message has been edited by mrspkr2 (edited 04-04-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannheim Tanker Posted April 4, 2001 Share Posted April 4, 2001 Originally posted by mrspkr2: back hair, then... ...using it as pillow filler for underpriveleged fishermen. We're told that the hairy fill reminds them of their women while they're at away at sea. Speaking of seamen... Edit: removed the speaker-Borg's rant from my post. [This message has been edited by Mannheim Tanker (edited 04-04-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrspkr2 Posted April 4, 2001 Share Posted April 4, 2001 Originally posted by Mannheim Tanker: ...using it as pillow filler for underpriveleged fishermen. We're told that the hairy fill reminds them of their women while they're at away at sea. Speaking of seamen... . . . wait . . . on the other hand, lets not. Instead, we will tell a tale of peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life, and the obliteration of . . . Quiz - from what work is this phrase taken? [This message has been edited by mrspkr2 (edited 04-04-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
109 Gustav Posted April 4, 2001 Share Posted April 4, 2001 Originally posted by mrspkr2: . . . wait . . . on the other hand, lets not. Instead, we will tell a tale of peace, justice, morality, culture, sport, family life, and the obliteration of . . . baseball as a sport. Gustav chuckled as he saw Mannheim Wheelbarrow's mistake. "If he knew anything at all, he'd know that the boat I fish off of is way too small to have pillows. Besides, we go back into town every night, so there's no need for the fancy pillows like Wheelbarrow uses." Mannheim Wheelbarrow cut in just then. "Gustav, ya stupid nong, quit arguing with me. I'm obviously smarter than you, because I can count to eleven, while you can't count past ten." Gustav just looked at Mannheim for a long time. "Wheelbarrow, guess what? I don't need to use my fingers to count anymore. And why eleven? You've only got ten fingers...Oh. Well, I guess you don't." Mannheim Wheelbarrow was actually quite proud of the minor defects caused by inbreeding like his extra fingers, webbed feet, and total lack of a... ------------------ The Last Defense- Mods, scenarios, and more! Well my skiff's a twenty dollar boat, And I hope to God she stays afloat. But if somehow my skiff goes down, I'll freeze to death before I drown. And pray my body will be found, Alaska salmon fishing, boys, Alaska salmon fishing. [This message has been edited by 109 Gustav (edited 04-04-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted April 5, 2001 Share Posted April 5, 2001 Originally posted by 109 Gustav: Mannheim Wheelbarrow was actually quite proud of the minor defects caused by inbreeding like his extra fingers, webbed feet, and total lack of a... ...table manners. In fact, after a meal his dining table looked like... [This message has been edited by Mace (edited 04-04-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrspkr2 Posted April 5, 2001 Share Posted April 5, 2001 Originally posted by Mace: ...table manners. In fact, after a meal his dining table looked like... the bottom of a Kentucky Fried Chicken garbage bin. 109Gussie fondly remembered his prosperous years as a fisherman, when he would get in from a long day of fondling fish and search the local KFC garbage bin for a bone with some meat on it. In fact, 109Gussie met the "girl" of his dreams while dumpster diving. She was . . . [This message has been edited by mrspkr2 (edited 04-05-2001).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russellmz Posted April 8, 2001 Author Share Posted April 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mrspkr2: She was . . . [This message has been edited by mrspkr2 (edited 04-05-2001).]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> THAT GIRL. Mmmmmmmmm, she’s outspoken Gustav's heartbroken Just the kind of girl to keep his Love life rolling She’s outspoken Gustav's heartbroken Just the kind of girl to keep his ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannheim Tanker Posted April 8, 2001 Share Posted April 8, 2001 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by russellmz: THAT GIRL. Mmmmmmmmm, she’s outspoken Gustav's heartbroken Just the kind of girl to keep his Love life rolling She’s outspoken Gustav's heartbroken Just the kind of girl to keep his ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> ...head straight with all of the friggin new changes on the Forum. You go out of town for a few days, and the whole neighborhood goes to pot (Just kidding, BTS, great job! Just takes a while to get used to the new look). Speaking of new look, Gustav decided that it would be a great idea if he dressed up in... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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