37mm Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 Originally posted by Boo Radley: Since Seanachai isn't around, I think it's about time I lead us all in a bit of a sing song!Oh there once was a man named Boo He’s just sent me a set-up And if you ask real nice Then he might send you one too But I have a problem with Boo And that’s no real surprise For everyone loathes him Even the oddstralians too It’s about this bleedin set-up It’s all random you see So I’ve got a huge force On a Pengdamn ugly map Which is quite a shame you see For I told Boo about The Ike That he’s made all these lovely maps All set-up for QB Bloody Boo… is there anything he isn’t inept at? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoat Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 Originally posted by Sir 37mm: Bloody Boo… is there anything he isn’t inept at? Being inept? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 9, 2006 Share Posted July 9, 2006 Originally posted by Sir 37mm: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley: Since Seanachai isn't around, I think it's about time I lead us all in a bit of a sing song!Oh there once was a man named Boo He’s just sent me a set-up And if you ask real nice Then he might send you one too But I have a problem with Boo And that’s no real surprise For everyone loathes him Even the oddstralians too It’s about this bleedin set-up It’s all random you see So I’ve got a huge force On a Pengdamn ugly map Which is quite a shame you see For I told Boo about The Ike That he’s made all these lovely maps All set-up for QB Bloody Boo… is there anything he isn’t inept at? </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Boo Radley: What do you expect? I was thinking of you as I posted it. That's your idea of a riposte? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Sir 37mm: Oh there once was a man named Boo He’s just sent me a set-up And if you ask real nice Then he might send you one too But I have a problem with Boo And that’s no real surprise For everyone loathes him Even the oddstralians too It’s about this bleedin set-up It’s all random you see So I’ve got a huge force On a Pengdamn ugly map Which is quite a shame you see For I told Boo about The Ike That he’s made all these lovely maps All set-up for QB Student of the Dalem School of Versification Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 10, 2006 Author Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Sir 37mm: Oh there once was a man named Boo He’s just sent me a set-up And if you ask real nice Then he might send you one too But I have a problem with Boo And that’s no real surprise For everyone loathes him Even the oddstralians too It’s about this bleedin set-up It’s all random you see So I’ve got a huge force On a Pengdamn ugly map Which is quite a shame you see For I told Boo about The Ike That he’s made all these lovely maps All set-up for QB Student of the Dalem School of Versification </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 10, 2006 Author Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: ...the Dalem School of Versification Speaking of which, last night I left Dalem in a puddle of rum, mumbling incoherently about George Takei and a 'wrap around, chest-baring Federation uniform top'. At one point I attempted to lead him in a jolly singsong, but he sounded painfully like a raccoon being neutered by a hunting dog. So I sang several songs me own self, instead, and then drove home. Young people today. They can't hold their rum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
37mm Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 It works if you sing it the way I sing it… I’ve just woken up because something was trying to drag me from my bed… I’m telling myself that it was most likely some kind of lucid nightmare (especially as what I was dreaming at the time was ****ing bizarre)… but I’m half convinced that it’s one of you lot… either way there’s not a chance in Peng that I’m going back to sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 10, 2006 Author Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Sir 37mm: … but I’m half convinced that it’s one of you lot… either way there’s not a chance in Peng that I’m going back to sleep. What dragged you from sleep was the sense of remorse kicking in for that vile bad versification you inflicted on your betters. Go shatter one hand with a ball-peen hammer, and get back to bed. The shrieking pain in your newly crippled hand should drown out the sense of loathing you rightly feel for your attempt at poetry, and allow you to finally sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
37mm Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Seanachai: What dragged you from sleep was the sense of remorse kicking in for that vile bad versification you inflicted on your betters. Go shatter one hand with a ball-peen hammer, and get back to bed. The shrieking pain in your newly crippled hand should drown out the sense of loathing you rightly feel for your attempt at poetry, and allow you to finally sleep. Perhaps you’re right & I agree a spot of hand crushing should be tried… but not my blessed hand! Are you fracking insane? No, the hand of my dear serf will just have to do… in some ways it’ll hurt me more that way… and in many ways it won’t <font size=5>Sturmsebber!</font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 10, 2006 Author Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Sir 37mm: No, the hand of my dear serf will just have to do… in some ways it’ll hurt me more that way… and in many ways it won’t <font size=5>Sturmsebber!</font> Amazing. That showed a sense of maturity and Knightly wisdom I'd thought you all but incapable of achieving. Here's the hammer. Sorry, Sturmy... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
37mm Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Seanachai: Here's the hammer. Sorry, Sturmy... Bolding the Serfs names again? I bet you bold Emrys name when we’re not looking too. Sigh… I actually am quite tired… perhaps I was being abducted by BFC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 10, 2006 Author Share Posted July 10, 2006 On Friday, at the place I'm working, I told them the story about how Lars left Lord Fletcher's at closing on one of our first lake get-togethers, ended up falling off his own pontoon boat while taking a piss off the front end, drunk, and, after avoiding the motor props and grabbing a trailing line, was dragged across the lake for half a mile at 2 AM before he was able to struggle back aboard and take control. As I stood there, wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes at the memory, I realized that not only were the other two guys in the office not laughing, they were staring at me with disbelief and horror. Matt: So, he was like alone on the lake, in the dark, being dragged behind the boat? Seanachai: Yeah. Isn't that priceless? Chris: Holy ****, he could have drowned, man! Seanachai: Uh, yeah, I guess he could have. Matt: He could have had the boat go right over him, and been cut to ribbons by the prop, you know? Seanachai: Well, I suppose. But, you gotta picture it: Here's Lars up in the bow of this chugging along pontoon boat, taking a piss over the rail, and he leans over to check his running lights, and he does a header right into the lake! Right into the lake! Chris: Man, it's just amazing he wasn't seriously hurt. Matt: So he was just being dragged along, holding onto a rope? Seanachai: Yes. He said it took him forever, slowly thrashing along at the end of the line, to claw his way back onto the boat! Hi-larious, eh?! Matt: What would he have done if he'd gotten tangled up in something while the boat was dragging him? I'm amazed he was able to get back aboard. Chris: Yeah. He was extremely lucky. You know, that's not funny, man. Seanachai: Oh for the love of all the gods, you fecks! It was Lars! A man who's destined to be hung is never going to die by drowning, fer chrissake... Later, when I thought about it, I guess I realized that Lars could have died. But since the drunken bastard didn't, it just made it all the freaking funnier! I dunno. What do you guys think? Is there something wrong with me? Has exposure to people like Lars and Dalem desensitized me to cosmological doses of chlorine in the Gene Pool? Am I...a horrible little man? Say it with me now, loud enough for every lackwit to hear: YES YOU ARE! Man. Half a mile. I wish I coulda filmed it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
37mm Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Seanachai: Am I...a horrible little man? I, for one, don't think that the story is funny... I mean are you saying that we just missed out on the Cesspools first Darwin award? I find it kinda tragic… so close & yet so far Just think about what the marketing possibilities could’ve been like if Lars had been gruesomely hacked to shreds? I’m talking like TV interviews & stuff! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seanachai Posted July 10, 2006 Author Share Posted July 10, 2006 Okay, I'm off to bed. It was a slow weekend; I was only out on the water for about 4 hours all told. Of course, I did get to watch Dalem stagger around his neighbourhood with a cigar in one hand and a glass in the other, declaiming about Beethoven, at Midnight. A departing singsong: Oi am 'Enry the eighth I am Henry the eighth I am, I am Oi got married to the widow next door She's been married seven times before And every one was an 'Enry She wouldn't have a Willy or a Sam (no way!) I'm her eighth old man name 'Enry 'Enry the eighth I am. Second verse, same as the first! Repeat until Sir 37mm either falls asleep, or begins to trickle blood from the ears.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mace Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Seanachai: Am I...a horrible little man? Say it with me now, loud enough for every lackwit to hear: YES YOU ARE! Man. Half a mile. I wish I coulda filmed it... Actually, Seanachai baby, that sounds very Aussie of you because that's the kind of thing that makes us piss ourselves laughing. I usually save these for someone else, but you deserved this one.... *kiss* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Seanachai: Go shatter one hand with a ball-peen hammer, and get back to bed. The shrieking pain in your newly crippled hand should drown out the sense of loathing you rightly feel for your attempt at poetry, and allow you to finally sleep. And if not...who cares anyway? Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley: What do you expect? I was thinking of you as I posted it. That's your idea of a riposte? </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Seanachai: Chris: Yeah. He was extremely lucky. You know, that's not funny, man.I see that your officemates lack a finely tuned sense of the humorous possibilities inherent in the ironic cruelties that make up life. Or perhaps they haven't drowned the last vestige of humane feelings in a sea of cynical sadism as is necessary to become a member in good standing of the Pool. Seanachai: Oh for the love of all the gods, you fecks! It was Lars! A man who's destined to be hung is never going to die by drowning, fer chrissake...That seems to be a sound point. If they had never encountered Lars though they probably wouldn't appreciate it. I dunno. What do you guys think? Is there something wrong with me?Of course. Am I...a horrible little man?Isn't that what we've been telling you for years? Man. Half a mile. I wish I coulda filmed it... Me too. Then you could have put it up on the web and we all could have seen it and joined you in your mirth. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Sir 37mm: Just think about what the marketing possibilities could’ve been like if Lars had been gruesomely hacked to shreds?Well, I for one think that would be going entirely too far. I mean the very idea of poor Lars being quietly laid to rest so young. Tsk, tsk. Much better would have been if his pecker had gotten caught in the propeller. Not cut off, mind you. Nothing so coarse and vulgar as that. Just deeply lacerated with lots of subsequent scar tissue, so that every time he uses it—for whatever purpose—he is doubled over in excruciating pain, reminding him of what an absolutely idiotic ass he is. There. Wouldn't that be so much nicer? Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lars Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Seanachai: Man. Half a mile. I wish I coulda filmed it... So did I. 'Course, you'd have seen nothing but bubbles, but still. Hey, why on earth were you over drinking dalem's rum when I had two kegs of Leinenkugel's? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boo Radley Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Michael Emrys: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Berlichtingen: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Boo Radley: What do you expect? I was thinking of you as I posted it. That's your idea of a riposte? </font> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 That's a little better. Might be worth while for you to keep trying after all. But you should practice in private first. (No, not practice that, Sticky Fingers.) Try looking in the mirror and thinking up some good insults. With that kind of inspiration it should be easy. Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Sir 37mm: are you saying that we just missed out on the Cesspools first Darwin award?Freakin' Gomer, that's not Darwin Award material. To be Darwin Award materiel, he'd have had to be, at least, maimed by his stupidity. Alas, he was not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berlichtingen Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Originally posted by Mace: Seanachai baby, that sounds very Aussie of you I knew there was something odd about the short, old, fat man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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