Seanachai Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 Yes. I'm sure there are many, many good ideas presented here. No, I'm not. Almost everything was ****e. I propose that BFC commission me to write a series of 'you've lost' afterword screens with an audio element, which cannot be dismissed short of pulling the plug on the computer. I will then, at great length, explain to the recently defeated that they are a very small puddle of poodle urine. The dismissals of their CM playing abilities will be graded by 'level of loss', and within each level there will be a number of randomly chosen screens possible. There should be a 'General Audience' set that comes on the CD, and a downloadable advanced 'Adult Suppurating Loser' version to let people know in rather colourful terms just how badly they reek. The Audio track for the 'Loser Screen' will be recorded by myself and an Australian (the Planet's 'hated losers'); quite possibly Mace, in order to guarantee that the Audio portion is...Crap! Consider the almost voluptuous quality of it all. Seanachai and an Australian, telling a losing player at almost obscene length that they've lost, while indulging in meaningless banter with each other, with annoyingly poor, purposely poor, voice recordings, backed up by all the power of dismissal amassed by something like 15,000 posts to the Peng Challenge Thread. Humiliations Galore. I will charge nothing for the right to do this. I will ask for no free copy of CMX2. I will sign any release necessary to be allowed to humiliate each and every bugger who loses a game of CM. My God. I want to live again! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michael Emrys Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 Quick, Hans! The wooden stake! Before it is too late! It is stirring! The world must be saved from this evil! Michael 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightwatch Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 Dear god no. Not another thread spawning in the image if Waffle and Peng! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer Posted December 22, 2003 Author Share Posted December 22, 2003 Well, well, well... It took a couple of days, but I see the really top-notch Losing Experts are finally starting to appear. No JasonC posts here, that's for sure. The "Format C:" suggestion was good in the sense that it would be automatic and merciless in consigning one to Windows Hell forever, even against the AI. I like it. But I worry that it would also erase the losing game file that is the very evidence of defeat. No evidence = no crime. As a Fine Legal Mind, I appreciate that a person should be convicted and sentenced to death based upon circumstantial evidence, but only a creep like Saddam metes out death with zero evidence. And I don't think he makes games for BTS, although it's very possible he works for Microsoft. The Sticky Thread idea has some merit. But as Dr. Strangelove would surely point out, no Doomsday Machine is going to be credible if it depends upon human whim to trigger it. Especially if the human in question is the target of public humiliation and derision. BTS would need to program an automatic trigger that immediately links to the CM forum and posts the Loser's identity and final statistics. Kinda like the final 18th hole in Putt-Putt golf where the ball goes straight to Zit-Boy in the little shack once it is sunk. No second tries... Originally posted by Seanachai: Seanachai and an Australian, telling a losing player at almost obscene length that they've lost, while indulging in meaningless banter with each other, with annoyingly poor, purposely poor, voice recordings, backed up by all the power of dismissal amassed by something like 15,000 posts to the Peng Challenge Thread. Humiliations Galore. But as always, our resident expert Seanachai has come up with the best idea for punishing losers. When it comes to losing big-time, he truly walks the walk while he endlessly talks the talk. And as always, he has overstated the premise, and made it much too long and complicated. Here's the simple and most effective way to implement his idea: Immediately upon losing a game, a full-screen smiling picture of Seanachai pops up with the simple proclamation: "I want to be your friend"... Shudder! Very Grim. Very Scary. No Redemption. The Perfect Humiliation. And for those who like nation-specific mods, a loser playing the Commonwealth side could have a full-screen picture of Mace appear saying in his best Rolf Harris voice: "I'm tired of playing with myself; will you play with me?" ARRRRGGGGHHHHH...... And of course, we have quite a large collection of losers from those no-name islands floating around Australia that seek some glimmer of recognition from its reflected glow. Maybe they've tired of insisting that Mel Gibson is really one of theirs, so they'll have time to contribute a loser mod. I'm currently out of touch with the collection of British gits playing CM, but I'm sure there are some who are fit candidates to induce shame of Churchillian proportions in a similar manner. And if they can't, then Andreas will be happy, as usual, to out-English the English and do it for them. Do we have any suitable German or Italian losers playing CM?? It seems they all cleaned up their act and became polite and friendly after the war. It must come from winning the peace. Or perhaps they're mellow from taking their gub'ment-mandated six weeks of vacation, eh? [ December 22, 2003, 10:04 AM: Message edited by: Lawyer ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hiram Sedai Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 Hi Mom! Just writing to wish you a Merry Christmas and to apogogize once more for being a failure in everything I do. I know you wanted me to be a lawyer but I've met a couple of lawyers in person and they smell like bad cheese. I do hope the Arthur-itis is not hurting too badly. Have you rented out my room yet? You can throw away the Suzie-Squeeze-Me doll if you want. I'll come over some time to collect up the models and the box of special experiments. (no, they aren't naughty magazines!) Your hirsute and potential wasting son, Hiram 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitty Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 Originally posted by Pvt. Ryan: Boohbah is dead. Don't say that. Don't EVER say that! Boohbah will live forever. =( Kitty 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pvt. Ryan Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 Boohbah has risen! Lazarus be praised! 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nightwatch Posted December 22, 2003 Share Posted December 22, 2003 Originally posted by Pvt. Ryan: Boohbah has risen! Lazarus be praised! (Slides up igor style) Uuuummm.. massssster, Lazzzzzerus wassssss the guy that rose from the dead. Jessssus was the guy who told him to get off hissss arssssse and walk out of the tomb. Lazzzzserus issss not the guy to be praisssed. (Slides out again dodging the rotten vegtebles) [ December 22, 2003, 05:31 PM: Message edited by: Nightwatch ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leather Suitcase Posted December 23, 2003 Share Posted December 23, 2003 The threat of "six of the best" for the loser would certainly sharpen the competitive spirit. Obviously for the English players we'd have to think of something else. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pvt. Ryan Posted December 23, 2003 Share Posted December 23, 2003 Originally posted by Nightwatch: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by Pvt. Ryan: Boohbah has risen! Lazarus be praised! (Slides up igor style) Uuuummm.. massssster, Lazzzzzerus wassssss the guy that rose from the dead. Jessssus was the guy who told him to get off hissss arssssse and walk out of the tomb. Lazzzzserus issss not the guy to be praisssed. (Slides out again dodging the rotten vegtebles) </font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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