yunfat Posted January 6, 2003 Share Posted January 6, 2003 I have to post laxx's comments from the thread "Where was this game a hundred bucks ago?" Something this funny deserves its own space: Originally posted by laxx: Life Cycle of a CMBB player: Elation Phase - Like going on a first Date with a beautiful girl. After 1 to 2 weeks of teenage angst, the game arrives in the mailbox. Infatuation Phase - Like "huh" to the 8 levels of Morale. Usually sets in the first week after installation. Game play usually comprises of a platoon of Sturmtiger/King Tigers/Flammepanzers against a pithy russian squad or T-26, or a company of IS-2/KV-85 tanks against some Volkstrum squad, paunchy and Unfit and has only half the ammo in their mauser rifles. Also starts downloading Mods Frustration Phase - Like "Where the hell is the god mode ?" or "Why does the dang infantry auto-sneak when fired upon by HMGs." Game play is CD supplied scenarios. Gets into heated debates on CMBB authencity and accuracy. Insists that frontal assault at 200meters against HMG is realistic because he watched John Wayne in Sands of Iwo Jima and that's what they did in WWII. Learning Phase - Like "What's the best way to kill a KV-1 with 1941 German Tanks" . Game play is back to basics, self-created scenarios for testing and learning. Books and reference materials are researched. Learns the meaning of grog and peng threads. Starts to watch and critique old movies for equipment authencity, whether the German Tiger tank is acually a Tiger or some spare T-55/56 disguised as one. Pre-Grognard Phase - Like "Why are there no T-44 tanks ?" or "Why aren't horses/calvary moded, please fix or do somefink". Gets into debates with other grognard wannabees, usually centred around To&E. Gameplay is TCP/IP or PBEM. Post detailed AARs. Starts quoting book titles and Authors. Has a forum thread with his name on it. Self-actualisation Phase - You and the CMBB are one or is that you are one with the game. You actually memorised the whole CMBB To&E from 1941 to 1945, including the various blast value of the AFVs. You doan really participate in the forums anymore, except to smack down some smart ass faux-grognard-wannabee and show whose the boss. Is able to critique HMG tripods. Usually gets invited to test CM betas. Doesn't smile alot. What game play ? You design scenarios! I can't continue, I'm still stuck at the Learning Phase, maybe some of you guys can furnish the other phase. For the humor impaired, yes! I am making fun of you! Bwahahahaha. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MikeyD Posted January 7, 2003 Share Posted January 7, 2003 You missed a phase or two: - Tunnel metacarpal syndrome phase. - Wife/girlfriend/longtime companion leaving you because you're always on the pc phase. [ January 07, 2003, 12:26 PM: Message edited by: MikeyD ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hans Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 The weird part is that it is true 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aka_tom_w Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 Originally posted by MikeyD: You missed a phase or two: - Tunnel metacarpal syndrome phase. - Wife/girlfriend/longtime companion leaving you because you're always on the pc phase.oh yeah that's a big one. 7-8 hours of "work" time per day on a keyboard for some of us AND then another 6-7 hours of "spare " time in the game or on the forum, and you have RSI, CTS, or some other keyboarding/mouse/computer related trauma if you are not REALLY careful TOO TRUE! :eek: "Be careful out there" -tom w [ January 08, 2003, 12:50 AM: Message edited by: aka_tom_w ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aka_tom_w Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 Originally posted by yunfat: I have to post laxx's comments from the thread "Where was this game a hundred bucks ago?" Something this funny deserves its own space: </font><blockquote>quote:</font><hr />Originally posted by laxx: Life Cycle of a CMBB player: Elation Phase - Like going on a first Date with a beautiful girl. After 1 to 2 weeks of teenage angst, the game arrives in the mailbox. Infatuation Phase - Like "huh" to the 8 levels of Morale. Usually sets in the first week after installation. Game play usually comprises of a platoon of Sturmtiger/King Tigers/Flammepanzers against a pithy russian squad or T-26, or a company of IS-2/KV-85 tanks against some Volkstrum squad, paunchy and Unfit and has only half the ammo in their mauser rifles. Also starts downloading Mods Frustration Phase - Like "Where the hell is the god mode ?" or "Why does the dang infantry auto-sneak when fired upon by HMGs." Game play is CD supplied scenarios. Gets into heated debates on CMBB authencity and accuracy. Insists that frontal assault at 200meters against HMG is realistic because he watched John Wayne in Sands of Iwo Jima and that's what they did in WWII. Learning Phase - Like "What's the best way to kill a KV-1 with 1941 German Tanks" . Game play is back to basics, self-created scenarios for testing and learning. Books and reference materials are researched. Learns the meaning of grog and peng threads. Starts to watch and critique old movies for equipment authencity, whether the German Tiger tank is acually a Tiger or some spare T-55/56 disguised as one. Pre-Grognard Phase - Like "Why are there no T-44 tanks ?" or "Why aren't horses/calvary moded, please fix or do somefink". Gets into debates with other grognard wannabees, usually centred around To&E. Gameplay is TCP/IP or PBEM. Post detailed AARs. Starts quoting book titles and Authors. Has a forum thread with his name on it. Self-actualisation Phase - You and the CMBB are one or is that you are one with the game. You actually memorised the whole CMBB To&E from 1941 to 1945, including the various blast value of the AFVs. You doan really participate in the forums anymore, except to smack down some smart ass faux-grognard-wannabee and show whose the boss. Is able to critique HMG tripods. Usually gets invited to test CM betas. Doesn't smile alot. What game play ? You design scenarios! I can't continue, I'm still stuck at the Learning Phase, maybe some of you guys can furnish the other phase. For the humor impaired, yes! I am making fun of you! Bwahahahaha.</font> 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
argie Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 Originally posted by laxx: Life Cycle of a CMBB player: Pre-Grognard Phase - Like "Why are there no T-44 tanks ?" or "Why aren't horses/calvary moded, please fix or do somefink". Gets into debates with other grognard wannabees, usually centred around To&E. Gameplay is TCP/IP or PBEM. Post detailed AARs. Starts quoting book titles and Authors. Has a forum thread with his name on it. Self-actualisation Phase - You and the CMBB are one or is that you are one with the game. You actually memorised the whole CMBB To&E from 1941 to 1945, including the various blast value of the AFVs. You doan really participate in the forums anymore, except to smack down some smart ass faux-grognard-wannabee and show whose the boss. Is able to critique HMG tripods. Usually gets invited to test CM betas. Doesn't smile alot. What game play ? You design scenarios! [/QB]There is something that can be called the General Forum Phase... I think it's blurried with both above, and is for those beyond all hope. 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ichadwick Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 Hmmm. Obviously posted by children new to the genre, because you missed one for us long-timers: The Where was this game 25 years ago phase. </font>That's when you root through your basement for musty old boardgames and magazines for data on the horsepower-weight rations of tanks on the Eastern Front, and try to find some battle you can model from a well-worn and almost-forgotten paperback hidden on the bookshelf (and hope all were spared from the yard sale last spring). </font>It's when you send email to all your old wargaming friends from the 1970s, now scattered around the country and grown up with kids and careers, telling them to check this game out. And having most of them write back "Thanks, but I really don't have times for games any more..." leaving you to wonder why you're still up at midnight trying to take the hill - and what is wrong with them. </font>It's when you troll Amazon and B&N sites for books on WW2 instead of self-realization guides, gardening guides and books on retiring in Mexico. </font>It's when you try to tell your wife how this game brings back so many memories and you launch into a frenzied description of your first Panzerblitz game 30 years ago and only stop when you hear her snoring... </font>It's when you are talking with contemporary friends and they're all jabbering about the joys of night skiing or the new gym that just opened and you're trying to tell them how you spent the entire evening hunting T-34s near Orel... </font>It's that sense of deja vu when you try to tell people about this new enthusiasm of yours and find most people can't quite grasp the idea of serious wargaming - and remember that you got the same blank stares when you tried to tell people about Panzerblitz and Highway to the Reich way back when... </font>It's when the time is getting close to midnight, you have to get up at 6, and you realize that staying up past 10 is getting harder and harder every year, but you can't quit quite yet because your troops are still a turn or two away from taking the crossroads... </font>It's when you have to look at the hotkey list every game because you can't always remember how to make roofs visible or ground coverage disappear...</font>It's when you hear younger people talking about a popular FPS or RTS at the local computer store and you wade in with a lecture on the superiority of the We-go system and the strategic planning in CMBB and realize they're staring at you wondering what the old geezer is on about...</font>It's when you find that PBEM is much better because it gives you enough time to think and you can get up and pee in the middle of your turn and your opponent never notices. </font>Ian 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laxx Posted January 8, 2003 Share Posted January 8, 2003 hahaha....very funny and very true. I remember two daze ago, i was chatting with my colleagues and one of them tells me that he was a tanky during national service about 13 yrs ago (we all do 2 years min here in singapore), and i get all excited and start quizzing him on what tanks we have ( amx-13 modified with 75mnm, and centurions modded), and i start quizzing him how would he do do a hull down tactic and i asked him about reverse slope defense (i am currently obsessed with RSD) and blah blah blah and he got embarrassed coz he was just a gunner. And after the conversation, I spent lunch hour finding out more about british centurion tanks, and wondering if the centurion would bog like the Panzer VI in Tiger Tiger! and why on earth would we have Centurion in a Jungle terrain, or if the tracks are modded wider so it won't get immobile. [ January 08, 2003, 10:56 AM: Message edited by: laxx ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laxx Posted January 9, 2003 Share Posted January 9, 2003 ** bump ** 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Salkin Posted January 9, 2003 Share Posted January 9, 2003 I sometimes dream about the game after long sessions (the dreams are to incoherent to recap, trust me). //Salkin Swede [ January 09, 2003, 07:02 AM: Message edited by: Salkin ] 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffin 'Enry Posted January 10, 2003 Share Posted January 10, 2003 ichadwick, So, so true.... Cheers 0 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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