I Started A New Peng Thread And All I got Was This Lousy Hunk Of Cess.....

[mensch]

OFFICIAL CESSPOOL CHALLANGE GOING OUT TO THE KITTY OF KATS.

may all your fur fall off and then be exibited in a Ripleys Belive it or Not show if you don't accept.

as it goes the feline in question has wooped my ass in varrious forms with varrious objects... this is not the point, the point is.. damn where was I.. oh yes..

Kitty I have your Catnip ball and your Litterbox, if you ever want to see them again take up my challange, the winner gets what ever from the other player as a request. (damn I better win)

Anyhow here it is... I woop your fuzzy butt in a Attack, you can take the Jerries or Allies I don't care cuz I'm going to win. I know you like Large things so lets make this one 2000pts. Large map, Large Hills and Modest Tree coverage, heck make it a Village while we are at it. it can be overcast or sunny I don't care.. and make it ohh sundown!

if you have the fur for it take my challange in your hands..(ooh careful now, eeeaasy,..ahhh there you go) now do anything accept and you will be held as the cat that took on mad Mensch, decline and I post your putty (scanned) on the board and I keep your catnip and litterbox for mommentos.. besides I need something to smoke and my ashtray is full.

official *slap* on the behind to commence the challange!

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www.derkessel.com Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[DekeFentle]

Originally posted by Agua Perdido:

Whatsisname has to challenge me properly, first. Even in the unlikely event he were able to come up with enough witty vituperatives for me to notice, I sure wouldn't pick a deranged abortion of a scenario like Crodaburg. (Unless you've fixed it so my side would be exclusively pillboxes, mines and jabos in true Hamsters fashion.)

Besides, if you want a proper Battle o' the Network Squires, it'll have to be on a night/fog map full of conscript volkssturm and green frenchies, starring Jaye P. Morgan. The old ways are best.

*sigh* Lost Waterboy you've sent Germanboy scurrying for his dictionary again and for that I applaud you. The length of your post also merits notice, you must have had an extra couple of hours on your hands. I will not dwell on your past efforts, as it is understood that typing in a straight jacket is generally considered difficult at best. As for your incoherent entreaty for a “proper” challenge, are your mental faculties so diminished by your self-proclaimed lack of cranial fluid that you do not comprehend the meaning of a gauntlet cast to the ground at your feet? Have the blithe prose in my unpardonable abasements of your position escaped the notice of your congealed intellect?

After even the insignificant amount of time and effort I have spent in this sacrosanct hovel of bellicose, hooting hillbillies, I know your position to be that of swine pen mucker at best. In all likelihood the true diminutive stature of your cast is unrecognized in any known social order.

I postulate that you are unable comprehend anything more obvious then the monosyllabic disparagements so commonly flung about by the niggling naysayers of this narcissistic Nissen hut that is the “Pool”. In that vein I now categorically declaim that you are…

A) Unable to hatch and original thought.

Unworthy of notice by higher life forms, indeed any life forms more advanced then amoebae.

C) Devoid of cognizant thought and action.

D) Hereby formally challenged to a match.

I am unable to be more lucid than that. Accept, or forever be known as the pessary of a peon who fled from the Whuppin’ boy.

When the Whuppin' boy speaks, gather round and hearken well. Pain is humanities most eloquent mentor.

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Winning is why we play!

[This message has been edited by DekeFentle (edited 03-09-2001).]

[Agua Perdido]

Originally posted by DekeFentle:

I spent all night with my thesaurus to get my "taunt" this purple. Notice me! Notice me!

Well, you did manage to say something that I presume you meant to be insulting while also demanding a game (saying "I fling da gauntlet" on its own isn't enough).

I'm tempted to further demand that you employ literary allusions, offbeat metaphors, or at least a menschian fit of inspired gibberish ("inspired" being the key word--all of your gibberish has been pretty pedestrian to this point). But I won't. In fact, Croda mailed me last night to pimp his pet scenario for a match between us (not unlike he--no, it's too easy).

I will grant you a game, specifically so I can not play Crodaburg with you. Expect a setup tomorrow or Sunday.

Agua Perdido

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Feel the pain of outlaw cinema!

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Naja:

It is true DekeFentle is the "chosen one" his wit and grasp of "Peng" has surpassed the once and mighty one who no longer graces the soiled pages that were once Peng. How do the old and feeble minded cling to the past? Must be Hamsters wit that drives them onward....... or maybe just plain old MkIV the butane torch of wit

Bugger, either these two are sleeping together or we've got another one on using two screen names.

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Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[Croda]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

Bugger, either I'm afraid to send Croda the next turn, or my cat won't let me near the computer.

Either way, deal with it.

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Woot! - Maximus2k

The New CessPool

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Agua Perdido:

I'm tempted to further demand that you employ literary allusions, offbeat metaphors, or at least a mensch-ian fit of inspired gibberish ("inspired" being the key word--all of your gibberish has been pretty pedestrian to this point). But I won't.

I will grant you a game, specifically so I can not play Crodaburg with you. Expect a setup tomorrow or Sunday.

Agua Perdido

Well bowled, especially the nice bit where you slam the execrable "Crodaburg". My last Squire was elevated to Knighthood, and then a whole passle of likely candidates were further elevated by Lorak (on what I feel was a perfectly justifiable basis, and applaud the action, although I so thoroughly despise Lorak that if I ever meet him in person, I will not buy him more than a dozen pints of Guinness). And although I agree that simple Squire bouts should not be the basis for receiving the buffet of Knighthood, I also believe that those who cannot find a sponsor from the Thread should not be raised to Knighthood either, short of a significant percentage of the Knights giving the supplicant the nod (let's face it, there are individuals so disturbing that no one might want to associate their name with them as their Squire, but the same individual might, at some point, be accepted as a Knight).

That said, I would fling the mantle of 'Squire' around Agua Perdido. Although his attempts at prose were vile and ill-conceived, at least he made the effort. Who knows, with my mentorship he might even improve. Certainly I've noticed in him a commendable tendency towards longer posts.

Now, Deke, while also showing a tendency towards long posts, keeps swinging back and forth between idiocy and posts that scan well. Also, he's refused to admit that he lives in Mankato or other primitive place, or some poxy suburb of the Twin Cities.

So, if the certifiable swine known here as 'Agua Perdido' should agree, I wish him acknowledged by all as the Squire of Seanachai.

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Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 03-09-2001).]

[Berlichtingen]

Originally posted by Seanachai:

So, if the certifiable swine known here as 'Agua Perdido' should agree, I wish him acknowledged by all as the Squire of Seanachai.

Wow! I bet he's excited about that. I mean, being a Squire of Seanachai has got to be right up there with being s**t on by a pigeon

[Joe Shaw]

So, if the certifiable swine known here as 'Agua Perdido' should agree, I wish him acknowledged by all as the Squire of

Seanachai.

Seanachai you stupid swine, if you'd kept up with the thread even a bit, even a smidgen, even a tad, you'd have noticed long ago that Agua Perdido is MY squire! I discovered his talent and took him under my wing and look how the lad has flourished! You are, as usual, a day late and a dollar short.

Should you have any doubt of this, may I suggest you consult the following link:

http://www.geocities.com/lrmcgarvey/squires.html

Joe

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I heartily admit you are a swine, Joe. But you are OUR swine. (Goanna)

[This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 03-09-2001).]

[Seanachai]

Unintelligent fake quote from Croda purporting to be mine:

Bugger, either I'm afraid to send Croda the next turn, or my cat won't let me near the computer

Originally posted by Croda:

Either way, deal with it.

Croda, as the only way that cats enter my apartment is as foodstuffs, they do not prevent me from approaching my computer. As for the charge of fearing you, my only fear is that my victory over you will unhinge you completely, and lead to a Menschian style personal deterioration on your part. As I fear you are not a very stable soul to begin with, I'm equally afraid that a victory on your part will have exactly the same results. I'm left, therefore with a dilemma.

All that aside, I was unable to process turns for the last two nights because of previous committments (that is, we were once again attempting to have Mensch committed on Wednesday night), and last night I spent working on a project for my boss that I thought wasn't due until next week. However, tonight I have already turned down far more attractive offers than continuing the humiliation of playing you so that I might do just that. I was amazed at myself. Look for turns this evening, you root cause of social dysfunction.

Oh, and I will also get turns out to all the other lowlifes tonight (the lowest of whom is still perched on a ledge looking down at Croda).

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Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

Wow! I bet he's excited about that. I mean, being a Squire of Seanachai has got to be right up there with being s**t on by a pigeon

True, although the latter in no way sullies the pigeon, while in the Peng Challenge Thread the process is a two way street.

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Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[Seanachai]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Seanachai you stupid swine, if you'd kept up with the thread even a bit, even a smidgen, even a tad, you'd have noticed long ago that Agua Perdidois MY squire! I discovered his talent and took him under my wing and look how the lad has flourished! You are, as usual, a day late and a dollar short.

Joe

DAMN YOU, SHAW! YOU'VE THWARTED ME FOR THE LAST TIME! I DEMAND A SETUP FROM YOU INSTANTER, SIR!

Shaw, I use a large, heavy, and rough gauntlet to slap all four cheeks. When you've finished rubbing the various affected areas to take the sting out, I suggest, Old Foul Joe, that you send me a setup not larger than 1500 points, all other conditions to be set by you, Mr 'Put the Squire down and step away'. This has been a long time coming, Shaw. Many have claimed that we are equally long-winded and tedious, but this is the final straw. That I should have to go to Lorak's site and find you to be a common poacher, snatching up Squires from better men! Despite his obvious instability and apparent appeal to even more disturbed individuals, I wished I'd cast the mantle on DekeFentle just so a Squire of mine could stomp the guts out of your Squire! Fast up with it, Shaw! This incidence of lèse majesté cannot pass unanswered!

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Tremble, tyrants and you perfidious opprobrium of all the parties,

Tremblez! your parricidal projects finally will receive their prices!

But these sanguinary despots, But these accomplices of Berli,

All these tigers which, without pity, Bauhaus the centre of their mother!

We will enter the career When our elder is not there any more,

We will find there their dust And the trace of their virtues

[Agua Perdido]

Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Seanachai, you stupid swine..

Originally posted by Seanachai:

DAMN YOU, SHAW!..

[sniff]

That I should precipitate such ill feeling between two Cesspool members...

[wipes tear of joy from cheek]

I'm a bit overcome... Here, I've baked a bundt cake for you both (of course, Joe Shaw, my generous, benevolent, etc sponsor, shall have the first piece). Never mind the bitter almond smell. That's just the... er... unsweetened marzipan... really, it's quite alright. Eat up, you'll need your strength.

Agua Perdido

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Feel the pain of outlaw cinema!

[Guest Madmatt]

I know that this thread isn't very big yet but I would appreciate it if you guys would start a new one. We are seeing a great many issues with our server performance lately and we think some of these multi-hundred threads may be the culprit.

As such I am locking this up and would ask that just ONE person start a new Peng thread.

Thanks!

Madmatt