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Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:

... a roiling vat of hydrochloric acid. But even more shocking was what emerged from the steaming liquid, a ...

...clanking, hissing, Alkett Minenraumfahrzeug, wreathed in hydrochloric steam, intent on pulverizing the hapless but transfixed Mace and Hiram.

kubin8.jpg

In a moment it left only a trace of oozing protoplasm where they sat, then barged out on to the Promenade. The baffled throng stood agape as the 20-ton behemoth...

[This message has been edited by Mark IV (edited 01-30-2001).]

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Originally posted by Mark IV:

...clanking, hissing, Alkett Minenraumfahrzeug, wreathed in hydrochloric steam, intent on pulverizing the hapless but transfixed Mace and Hiram.

In a moment it left only a trace of oozing protoplasm where they sat, then barged out on to the Promenade. The baffled throng stood agape as the 20-ton behemoth...

B]

...pranced out of the room and into the nearby screening of the Jerry Springer show. Once there, under the approving hollers of the trailer trash audience, it proceeded to trounce a buck-toothed hillbilly for sleeping with its sister - the previously never-revealed Uber-tank which had the amazing ability to...

[This message has been edited by The Commissar (edited 01-30-2001).]

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Originally posted by The Commissar:

...pranced out of the room and into the nearby screening of the Jerry Springer show. Once there, under the approving hollers of the trailer trash audience, it proceeded to trounce a buck-toothed hillbilly for sleeping with its sister - the previously never-revealed Uber-tank which had the amazing ability to...

Play Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" while puffing smoke out of its hatch. It also had a secondary abilty that was.....

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Originally posted by Lorak:

Play Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire" while puffing smoke out of its hatch. It also had a secondary abilty that was.....

...evident only to Mace, Mensch, and their little sister, Croda. The Ubertank used to be their jungle gym when they were growing up. Those were the days when they delighted in playing "doctor" and "Kick Croda until she cries". Those were the best of times and the...

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

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...wurst of times, which the crew happily munched when doing maintenance on the guns. With Hiram, Mace, and the set of the Springer show to their credit, the crew was assured of a high decoration, and their thoughts turned to even greater contributions. Gunning the powerful Maybach engine, they turned the beast toward...

[This message has been edited by Mark IV (edited 01-31-2001).]

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Originally posted by Mark IV:

...wurst of times, which the crew happily munched when doing maintenance on the guns. With Hiram, Mace, and the set of the Springer show to their credit, the crew was assured of a high decoration, and their thoughts turned to even greater contributions. Gunning the powerful Maybach engine, they turned the beast toward...

[This message has been edited by Mark IV (edited 01-31-2001).]

...Disneyland! Although the little tykes were initially upset after they accidently ran over half of the Disney characters under one gargantuon track, with the cries of "Git offa' me foot, Eh?", the crushed puppets were revealed to be Canadians. So nobody gave a flying moose, with the sole exception of...

[This message has been edited by The Commissar (edited 01-31-2001).]

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...John Wayne, defender of the Free World and persecutor of all those who would stand in Freedom's path. Wayne fought an epic battle 'gainst the machine, eventually besting it with nothing but his bare knuckles. With the machine gone and order restored to the world, Wayne was named Time's Man of the Year and donated the money he won to the families of Mace and Hiram so that they could get men to replace the ones that were lost. Everybody was happy.

The End

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Guest Der Unbekannte Jäger

...*URP* followed in quick succession by...

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"'S muladach ma theid ar sgaoileadh..." -Duncan Ban Macintyre

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Originally posted by PeterNZer:

.. QUACK QUACK Ni! Ni! Ni! ...

...ecky, ecky, fatung!

Which was perhaps the most intelligent statement ever made in these hallowed halls, and candidate for the Nobel prize for literature!

Meanwhile, a long, long, ...long... time ago in a galaxy far, far, ...far... away, a sentient lifeform....

[This message has been edited by Mace (edited 01-31-2001).]

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Guest Der Unbekannte Jäger

...a (large) female opera singer who...

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"'S muladach ma theid ar sgaoileadh..." -Duncan Ban Macintyre

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...could be compared to a (large) male opera singer but since they were designed with different purposes in mind it would be like comparing apples to oranges. "Bah," the sniper thought, "I have to quit thinking about all this abstract stuff when I am on the job." With that thought finished he lined up the crosshairs of his suppressed Steyr-Aug on the fat lady. He slowly began to squeeze the trigger when...

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Originally posted by jshandorf:

...could be compared to a (large) male opera singer but since they were designed with different purposes in mind it would be like comparing apples to oranges. "Bah," the sniper thought, "I have to quit thinking about all this abstract stuff when I am on the job." With that thought finished he lined up the crosshairs of his suppressed Steyr-Aug on the fat lady. He slowly began to squeeze the trigger when...

...a school of love-making penguins suddenly appeared, trying to find a better venue after being interrupted by marauding poolers.

The sniper suddenly found himself surrounded by the lust driven penguins, wishing to use his Steyr for...

[This message has been edited by Mace (edited 01-31-2001).]

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...a prop in their latest black and white pornographical production called "Quak-quak-quak", which translated to English sounds somewhat like "Penguin Mission: Beyond Cold Fish and Whip Cream".

The video is being made for a niche audience who, besides spanking small simians, also enjoy...

[This message has been edited by The Commissar (edited 01-31-2001).]

[This message has been edited by The Commissar (edited 01-31-2001).]

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Originally posted by The Commissar:

The video is being made for a niche audience who, besides spanking small simians, also enjoy...

..discussing the ramifications on the space-time continuum of a unified force theory, and the fact that Stephen Hawkin goes down and gives really great...

[This message has been edited by Mace (edited 01-31-2001).]

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Originally posted by Mark IV:

commentary on the underwater treasures of Scapa Flow.

The sniper, meanwhile, knowing his cover was blown, snapped the select fire switch to Full, and turning toward the amorous but offending penguins,...

...and effectively made Penguin Puree with his rifle.

"Great green gobs of greasy grimey (penguin) guts, mutilated monkey meat, dirty little birdies feet. One half pint of all purpose purpose puss, and me without my spoon." He heard on the radio as they were having a flashback Dr. Demento weekend. Thats odd, he thought to himself, I wonder where I put my...

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Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. - Blaise Pascal

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Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:

"I only read it for the articles, like...

...my current favorite: how to run with a HMG, and satisfy your woman at the same time"

Putting his steyr aside, Bauhaus settled on his haunches to read, but became frustrated by too many stuck pages, the result of ....

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...spilling his ice-cream all over the magazine. No being one to waste ice-cream, Bauhaus began to lick the pages to get the rest of it off. That when Chupacabra walked in with an accordion.

"Hey everyone! Want to hear my new song? It's called...

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...spilling his ice-cream all over the magazine. No being one to waste ice-cream, Bauhaus began to lick the pages to get the rest of it off. That when Chupacabra walked in with an accordion.

"Hey everyone! Want to hear my new song? It's called...

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