==) FAQ (== How to Take a Screenshot and Other Things

[russellmz]

<font color="AA0000"><big>Frequently Asked Questions (now with answers!)</big></font>

also check out the <big><font color="0000BB">Combat Mission 2 FAQ

</font></big>

First off, Probably the Number One Most Frequently Asked Question

How do I take a screenshot?

"On a Mac press Command + Shift + 3. A file will appear on your hard disk called Picture 1. Subsequent screenshots take subsequent numbers.

On a PC press Print Screen. This saves the screen to the clipboard. Then open Paint and use Ctrl + V to paste to a new document." -Big Ron

But for Voodoo 1 and 2 users, you need to download a screenshot utility such as Hypersnap, and use it's Special Capture function.

Now then,

Look at the FAQs! Also a very good search function is available above. It is sometimes quicker at answering your questions then waiting for a reply.

The search function has been on the fritz lately, but it should get you there most of the time, albeit slowly. You can search by member number to narrow and speed your search.

Your best bet is CAR_12's excellent FAQ at his webpage(look for a FAQ link there)

CAR_12's CM for Macs Webpage

wargamer.com's FAQ, based on posts by Steve and Charles

The Wargamer CM FAQ

Big Time Software's CM FAQ(way out of date):

Big Time Software's CM FAQ

Mina's Combat Mission Site

Combat-Mission.com FAQ's and also useful is the Terms page.

<font color="BB0000"><big>Board Culture, Usage, and Vocabulary</big></font>

How do I use the UBB Board?

How to:

o make smillies

o change your profile

o find out about setting preferences

o clear cookie

o and much more!

How do I:

o post urls and images

o quoting messages

o email

o bold and italicize

o bullets/lists

o preserve formatting

How do I look at the UBB with no frames?

How do I become a member?

You need to post 30 messages.

How many posts do I have?

Look at one of your messages. There is an icon of a face with a question mark. Hit that button to get your current number of posts.

What's with all the Peng threads?

After a certain while a Peng thread (aka the Cesspool) gets so big that the UBB crashes(bad). Hence, new Peng threads. Here is the Peng FAQ for reader confusion. (and another here) As to WHY the Peng threads, it is a place for mock insults at your opponents and match finding. Go in at your risk, and bring a thick skin.

Who moderates/represents the BTS BBS/company?

Big Time Software(Steve or Charles), Madmatt, and KwazyDog.

How do I get a link/image in my signature?

Images are not allowed in your signature.

Where can I test my signature?

Just add a post to the end of a topic. People will understand.

What's with all the "Hi Mom!" posts in certain threads?

The moderators lock down threads that threaten to spiral out of control into flamefests. Posters who think this is going to happen sardonically post "Hi Mom!" since you want to say hi to mom before the thread's locked.

What's with all the gerbil and hamster talk?

Most probably from the SS are overpriced hamsters! thread. Now it's part of the board vernacular.

What's an Uber Tank?

The biggest and baddest tanks in the game. Mostly German, they are the heaviest tanks in the game, and are almost impervious to smaller enemy tanks. A few examples are the Tiger, Panther, Jumbo, and Pershing. There are others as well.

What's a mod slut?

Someone who always searches for, downloads, and uses new mods for the game.

What's this abbreviation mean?

o AP: armor piercing

o HT: Half-track, an armored car with front wheels but tracks in the back.

o ME: Meeting Engagement, a type of quick battle between two sides with equal number of purchase points.

o MG: Machine gun. There is also HMG, MMG, LMG for heavy, medium, and light mg.

o PBEM: Play By E-Mail, playing another human by sending turns through email

o QB: Quick Battle, the random scenario generator

many others...

What's tungsten?

Tungsten is a very dense metal used even today in armor piercing shells. They are used very effectively against German tanks but are less available in the early months of the war.

<font color="BB0000"><big>TCP/IP and PBEM</big></font>

Where's the TCP/IP patch?

<a href="http://www.battlefront.com/downloads/index.html">Da' Patch<a/>. Scroll down till you see Combat Mission in Patches.

How do I find an opponent?

There is an opponents forum at battlefront:

CM Opponent Finder. Also try the Tournament House Gaming League and Combat Mission HQ chat rooms.

How do I tell my IP address?

1) Use this URL: http://www.babygrrl.com/ip.shtml

2A) choose RUN from the Start menu and type "WINIPCFG". Then click one of the connection devices, and it will reveal your IP.

2B) If you are using Mac, look at the TCP/IP setting in the Control Panel.

3) Host a TCP/IP game, then your IP address is shown automatically.[last two from GriffinCheng+]

How do I switch from TCP/IP to PBEM?

How can I make PBEM easier?

You have two major choices: the PBEM utility by Fuerte or CM: One Click to Combat by Kman. Both have been recieved positively by the CMers on this forum.

What are Fionn's Short 75 / Panther-76 Rules?

Fionn's Rules can be found here. They were rules set up to prevent every engagement from being an uber tank battle(ex. all King Tigers vs. all Super Pershings).

How is scoring done?

redwolf has provided a detailed explanation on the exiting of units. SurlyBen provides a mathematical formula for general score computation.

What and where is the BaDco Endgame Randomizer?

"The BER's purpose is to randomize when the actual last turn of the game will occur, thus making games much more challenging." -BaDco Endgame Randomizer Website

<FONT color="BB0000"><big>Gameplay</big></font>

How do I order infantry mounted on a vehicle to a fixed spot and disgorge the troops?

Order the troops to move to the spot you want, and add some pauses so that it covers the time of the trip, plus command delay.

Why did my embarked unit not get off that tank?

Originally posted by kump:

When you dismount, always dismount right next to the vehicle, somewhere close.

If your dismount point is a good distance away from the mounted vehicle, the passengers will stay mounted, even with vehicles paused. They are waiting for the vehicle to approach close to the dismount point.

So try it out. Pause the vehicle, plot it to move, and at the same time, plot the passenger to dismount right next to the vehicle. Then plot the passenger to move away. Turn vehicles off if the "embark" keeps happening when you try to dismount close.

After following the above, I've ceased having dismount problems. See if it works for you.

How do I get my vehicle to move away after is drops off it's passengers?

Originally posted by L.Tankersley:

Additional notes to the above: you don't actually need to stop but you can't be moving at Fast speed. If you want to keep the vehicles moving (e.g.to get them out of harm's way quickly) you can shift them to Move speed briefly right at the point you want the troops to disembark. I find that having the vehicles turn around a bit at Move speed pretty much guarantees the infantry will have enough time to get out. It also helps if the disembark movement order for the infantry is to a point as close as possible to the vehicle's track. You can issue additional movement waypoints to get away from the vehicle if needed.

How do I un-bog my vehicle?

There is a chance that you will not un-bog at all and become immobilized. But the current feeling is to simply leave it alone or remove all movement orders of the vehicle and then have the vehicle back-up straight.

What do asterisks on a building indicate?

The building has suffered some damage if there is one star, and major damage if there are two. (You should evacuate any troops you have in a building with **)

<font color="BB0000"><big>Reality</big></font>

Is there a difference between the Porsche and Henschel (normal) turrets?

There are differences the most apparent is the shot trap the Porsche turret presents. That is on reason why the Henschel turret was used (it was also easier to manufacture). -Priest

My King Tiger/Super Pershing/Uber tank missed fifteen times and got killed by a Stuart/Lynx/wuss tank! How did that happen?

Sometimes bad luck happens, even in war. The little units may be computers but they act like men, so there will be screw-ups, chokes, and bad karma. On the technical side tanks have weak spots, poor armor quality, or even design flaws. Plus, the Allied tanks have and now use tungsten rounds in the new 1.1 patch, a major tank killer.

When and where am I most likely to bog my tank?

There was an unofficial test done to determine bogging probability.

Originally posted by: joeri

After thinking this over for a while I have made the following assumption on how it works:

Chance of bogging is dependent on:

- ground condition (unknown how but probably just how deeper the mud/snow the more chance)

- terrain type (open terrain gives highest chance, then wheat, then brush, then scattered trees and lowest chance on roads)

Movement order has no influence because when ground conditions are bad, the driver automatically takes the slowest possible speed. Exception is reverse which removes the chance of getting bogged (this is probably a bug).

Based on these assumption best tactics in bad conditions would be (if roads are not available):

- use reverse whenever no contact is expected (and you don't mind taking advantage of a possible bug).

- use rough terrain like scattered trees and avoid open terrain when advancing to contact.

Totally different from how I used to do it.

How do I un-bog my vehicle?

There is a chance that you will not un-bog at all and will be immobilized. But the current feeling is to remove all movement orders of the vehicle and then have the vehicle back-up straight.

Do vehicles provide cover for infantry?

Only if they are knocked out and burning because the smoke blocks line of sight(LOS). The calculations are too complex for CM to do it while the vehicles are on the move.

How come my tank fired at a nearby target and died when nothing hit it?

If the target was too close the main gun's blast knocked out the tank. You can check if this is so by clicking on the unit, pressing ENTER, and clicking "kills". The tank should list itself as a kill.

How did a machine gun take out my tank?

Depends on how close the machine gun was and it's ability to penetrate armor. Angle and armor quality also factors in. For example, a Hetzer's side armor cannot withstand a .50 caliber machinegun at medium to close range. (The .50 caliber was designed to take out light armor) Here is a example of the MG42 and .50 caliber's penetrating power:

Why is the M16 MGMC Quad .50 AA vehicle not included?

"BTS ran out of time. There is an official statement, and many discussions relating to this topic, and it brings forth a lot of passion amongst people." -Germanboy

Do machine guns on vehicles jam or get damaged?

No, but they may get knocked out if the main gun gets damaged.

Can my tank fire its machine gun if it fired off all its heavy gun ammunition?

Yes, if it has MG ammunition left. You can check this by clicking on the unit and hitting enter.

Do machine guns jam or get damaged at all?

Yes, a machine gun can indeed JAM. What's cool is that the gun crew can unJAM it given enough experience and time. Machine guns can also be immobilized.

Why can't my light/heavy machine gun run?

They have to carry the machine gun(heavy), spare gun barrels(a bit of weight), and ammo(really, really heavy). See the links so kindly provided by Lindan: spur of the moment complaining and David Aitken: Light MG 42's speed

A human wave overran my position even though I had machine guns. Are they modelled properly?

Basically, they are modelled fairly well, although they cannot be told to do some common techniques that stop human waves(grazing fire, fire arcs). Read especially the long BTS post by Steve on page 8 (yeah, page 8).

How did that human wave attack succeed?

The human wave succeeded for several reasons:

o if it suffered a 40-60 percent loss, than that's not a good thing for the attacker, and hardly something for the enemy to cheer about

o your machine guns were alone

o your machine guns were right in the front line instead of being far back. They work best if the enemy is at least 300m away.

o you told the machine gunner to target one unit in particular. Even if it breaks and runs away, it will ignore other squads running straight at it longer than if you left the machine gun to fire on it's own judgement.

Why do the firepower stats not add up for some German squads?

Most likely the squads have a light maching gun, the MG42, which requires two men to man. One soldier with a rifle will drop his rifle and help with the more deadly LMG.

Does anyone know where one can get good topological maps of European battlefields?

Of course, there is also Topozone.

Where can I find maps of Omaha Beach?

Why can't I have a roster of all my troops?

Why isn't there white phosphorus in CM?

"WP was, so far as our research shows, rare on the battlefield. Very few weapons could fire it, so right there we question if we should bother with it in the first place. And when used HE or Smoke could have done just a good of a job at CM's level." -Steve

Why can't my artillery spotter hide and fire at the same time?

It can. It will have reduced accuracy and longer response time.

Why does the artillery clock countdown at 2 sec for every second in real time?

That will happen if the oberver doesn't have a clear LOS. it will only move at 1 sec/1 sec if there is a clear LOS to the target. Unit experience also is a factor I believe.

How much does it take to destroy a bridge?

Generally wooden bridges blow up in a few turns. Stone bridges are tougher. The large heavy stone bridge needs 14 inch guns or 300mm rockets to destroy in any decent amount of time.

[ 09-29-2001: Message edited by: russellmz ]

[russellmz]

<font color="BB0000"><big>Graphics</big></font>

How do I take a screenshot?

Possibly the most asked question.

"On a Mac press Command + Shift + 3. A file will appear on your hard disk called Picture 1. Subsequent screenshots take subsequent numbers.

On a PC press Print Screen. This saves the screen to the clipboard. Then open Paint and use Ctrl + V to paste to a new document." -Big Ron

But for Voodoo 1 and 2 users, you need to download a screenshot utility such as Hypersnap, and use it's Special Capture function.

How do I change screen resolutions?

"Go to the CMBO directory and delete the "prefs" file. When you restart CM, you will be able to change resolutions." -Doug Williams

Why are there only three men max shown per squad?

It takes too much computing power to show all 8-12 men. A lot of polygons go into those little men so tripling the number will tax almost any CPU/videocard.

Why isn't a bloody corpse shown for every casualty?

Again, too much computing power is required. Not only that but BTS felt that too much gore will detract from the game.

Can we have sandbags in the foxhole graphics?

Sorry no, the big, dark crater is the same picture as the foxhole picture.

How can I make 3D rubble?

Sorry, in CMBO it is a flat .bmp, not a 3D object. However you could place several roadblocks on top to simulate a pile of rubble, since they use the same bmp file.

"...there is one little 'trick' you can use; just raise the rubble tile 1 elevation level, compared to the surrounding tiles." -Fred

<font color="BB0000"><big>Mods & Sounds

</big></font>

Where is Manx's Mod List?

Where can I get some cool mods?

There are numerous places. Try this post, for beginner tips. The major mod palace is CMHQ. This is where most mods start off or wind up. Another place I go to is CM Outpost. Be sure to read this great article on CM mods, written by one of this board's very own members! And also at Manx's awesome COMBAT MISSIONS there is CM Mods for Newbies. Manx has a Modlist you can look at.

Where can I get the CM Mod Option Selector(CMMOS)?

Where can I find the DFDR desert mod?

The Desert Fox Desert Rats mod is at http://www.dfdr.net/

Where can I find the Frontovik mod?

The Frontovik Russian theatre mod is at http://www.wargamer.com/cm/cmworld/frontovik.asp

Where can I find Magua's Normandy mod

The mod files are found at Manx's Combat Missions and at CM Outpost.

Where is Clubfoot's Utah Beach Terrain Mod?

Again, this is found at Combat Missions.

Can I mod items that are hard-coded?

No, sorry.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>...items that are hard coded:

• Unit bases
• Berrets
• Pistols
• On map mortars
• MG tripods
• Bazooka/Panzerschreck/PIATs

These are the items I remember straight off.

There may be more...

Cheers

Olle</font><hr></blockquote>

Muzzle concussion and the building collapse shockwave/debris cloud are hard-coded as well.

How do I change .bmp & .wav files to use on a Mac?

"The Mac Combat Mission Mod Manager (MCMMM - MCM3 for short) and the MacMod Manager are both at CMHQ under third party dl's iirc." -jd

Where can I find a PC Mod Manager?It is avaliable at CMHQ

How do I change that background grass that stretches to infinity?

"The culprit bmp is 1503. Just take the hi-res equivalent, 1553.bmp, and copy it to 1503.bmp. Problem solved." -kump

Where can I find a list of all the .bmp files?

Right here. Grass tiles are .bmp files 1550-1569.

Where can I find a sound map of the .wav files?

The above link goes to a thread where I posted a general sound map. Scroll down till you see a listing...

Why does the .wav file I added crackle and squeal in CM?The .wav file should be at Mono 16 bit 44100 samples. Use a sound utility to make sure it has these properties.

How do I change that really loud exit sound?

Change file 00000171.wav and either use a computer sound recorder program to reduce the noise level or copy in a different sound like the sniper sound 00000410.wav or the "Taps" end of battle sound 00000129.wav.

[ 10-30-2001: Message edited by: russellmz ]</p>

[russellmz]

<font color="BB0000"><big>Scenarios, Editing, and Work-arounds</font></big>

Where can I find some scenarios?

o Big Dog's Scenario Depot

o Der Kessel

o Military Gamer

How do I increase a scenario map to the South and West in the scenario editor?

On the width and height buttons, hold SHIFT and click the height and width buttons to increase/decrease map to the South and West.

Scenario Editing GuidelinesSuggestions with comments, located in the Scenario Editing Forum.

How do I:

o generate a random map? There's an "Auto Generate" random map button at the top of the editor.

o turn off the numbers indicating height in terrain mode? There's a "Don't Show Height" button at the top left of the editor.

o add bocages, walls, hedges, etc.? There're more tiles than can be show in one screen. Hit the button with the down arrow above the tiles.

o edit a unit? In the unit listing double-click the unit you wish to edit, or click the edit button at the bottom of the screen.

o select unit positions Hit the "Preview" button near the top of the editor and place the units wherever you want on the map.

o liiiive without yooooou?

I waaant to knooow...

Has anyone done any Saving Private Ryan scenarios?

Currently there are two.

How do I simulate a bridge/building demolition?

(the below is for a bridge demolition, however, the same idea is used for a building demolition)

On your scenario map put a grass or rough tile where you plan to put a WOODEN bridge tile. Dump ~12 enemy anti-personnel mines. It is important they be the enemy's and not anti-tank mines. Add a disposable squad or half squad to your scenario (at least 6 men) and name it something like "messengers". After going to Preview your map, put ALL the mines on that one grass tile where your bridge will be. Go to map editor again and put the wooden bridge tile in. Make sure you have engineers with plenty of demo charges, at least 6 charges in total.

Now in the game run your messenger over the bridge. That should set off a bunch of mines and reveal the position of the minefields (the squad should be dead by now because the mines are so densely packed). Rush your engineers there and they will start tossing demo packs after a minute or so. After 6 or 7 they will collapse the wooden bridge. Game over man, game over.

The bridge will still be crossable by vehicles, but of course with so many mines it will not be crossable by foot.

Also:

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Panzer Leader:

TRP on the edge of the bridge, 240mm arty observer with an ammo of '4' and rename him to "Demo Expert." Make him expert or crack, and the bridge will blow 30 seconds after you order it blown. The ammo of '4' will keep the arty from being abused and it will give a very small chance of not taking it out.

I've never (in my testing) seen a failed bridge blowing with the above parameters, but a few times its been the very last shell which took it down.

Also keep in mind that this is for small bridges. I once had 2 240 mm spotters drop shells for 2 min. on a large concrete bridge and it never dropped.<hr></blockquote>

How do I make reinforcements arrive in good order, rather than all jumbled up?

"break your reinforcements up into 5 groups and use all the reinforcement slots" -Berlichtingen

How do I set the initial view for each side when the scenario starts?

Before you exit the editor, move the camera to the view that you want the Allied player to see when the game starts. Then for the Axis player, press "\", no quotes (not the turn 180 degrees key, other slash), then set the camera view. Press GO! and then save it.

How can I make 3D rubble?

Sorry, in CMBO it is a flat .bmp, not a 3D object. However you could place several roadblocks on top to simulate a pile of rubble, since they use the same bmp file.

"...there is one little 'trick' you can use; just raise the rubble tile 1 elevation level, compared to the surrounding tiles." -Fred

How can I edit a vehicle so it is immobilized?

No actual editor commands for that but I found a work around (I hereby claim credit for the rubble immobilization technique now and forever!). First, take the vehicle and padlock it exactly where you want. Go to the terrain editor and place a rubble or rough tile on top. The vehicle can still rotate, but it can't move out.

How can I put a gun in a house?

Same as above, place unit where you want, then put a terrain tile over it.

How can I edit a vehicle unit so it is gun damaged?

Edit the unit so it has no ammo.

How can I have a pillbox with a turrent?

How can I have a pillbox in the entrance of a fort?

How can I edit a unit so it has wounded?

Use split squads and make some of them shaken. That's the best idea I heard as of yet.

How do I make the AI attack better/more aggressively?

Swap the map edges. So if Allied friendly edge is West, make it East in the scenario and vice versa for the Axis. Making an exit zone in the direction you want the enemy to advance also may help. You can also leave a path of flags for the AI to follow.

Also there is this tip:

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by James:

Here are some tips on senario design which give better AI performance from the infantry and more unpredicatble better fought meeting engagements. Here are the three steps.

First: In map preview split all squads. This may seem strange but what happens is the split squads behave with more caution, a more sensitive TacAI - they react more sensibily without needless sacrifice. Also the global moral of both sides drops to 55-70% making the overall AI more cautious and less prone to giving you a turkey shoot. The infantryman in CM is abstrated into squads, by splitting the squads that abstraction is also half as less.

Second: Remove all victory flags. What!? I hear you say! The trouble with VLs is that you know where the enemy will head for, even with dynamic ones, and all you have to do is get there first into cover to let the AI force his men relentlessly into your incoming until their all casulties or broken.

Third: Place exit zones for each side opposite each other. ie Allies start in the west advance to exit zone in the east and the opposite for Axis. What it actually does is give the Strat AI a fine balence between attack and defence. It will utilse both strategies with flexibility according to the situation and use any part of the map. It even withdraws in a hot spot to a better position. Actual exiting by the AI hardly ever happens, and there is no need for you to exit if you are concentrating on defeating the enemy. The exit zones are there not there as an objective but as a modification to the behavior of the AI.

These 3 steps may seem a bit strange but try designing a senario useing them all. Even an experienced CM player can actully be given a real challenge and be beaten by the AI without it having superior weight of numbers! I use forces of approximatly equal point strength all the time and the AI really gives as good as it gets. I have had some excellent battles and lost a number of times, drawn most times, won sometime. Not only does it feel more realistic it is a better game for useing these 3 steps.<hr></blockquote>

How is scoring done?

Also, additional explanation of exit points and killing units.

<font color="BB0000"><big>Misc</big></font>

Little Known CM features

• [ and ] will zoom the camera in and out
• ctrl-A and ctrl-Z will move the camera angle up and down
• alt-G provides warning labels for any events like a unit with low ammo or a vehicle elimination
• If a half squad has an "!" in it's status box, you can get rid of it by rejoining the whole squad and splitting again.
  

When will my copy get here?

"Answer is that normally it takes about 3-5 days for an order to arrive in the US, about 10-15 elsewhere." -Steve

Also says it takes 2-4 times longer during the holiday season. Not to mention that BTS sometimes runs out of stock due to demand. Overseas can be even longer: for example, three weeks for Finland. If you have problems, then email matt@battlefront.com .

<a href="http://www.battlefront.com/cgi-bin/bbs/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=018563" target="_blank">Where can I find a list of units with statistics?

</a>"go to the Dogs of War website...halfway down the page on the left are links for different catagories of units, just about anything you could want." -Silvio Manuel

Chris' CM Scenarios and Unit Database Charts also has CM statistics (go to bottom of page).

What's the latest patch?That would be v1.12. Be sure to get it here. There will be no other patches as CM2 is now being worked on.

How can I watch all the movies together?You probably can't. Unless you do PBEM(which saves movie files) you can't save movie files since a saved turn has a different outcome each time. If you do have PBEM files, KMan made a PC utility that works on some computers to play all the files.

What books do you recommend for WWII weapons and armor?

Also go to Combat Missions' WWII Books - Recommended Reading, and you can support Manx too!

Thanks to all who post answers to questions so I can just post a link to it, the CM webmasters, and of course, the FAQ bumpers, who have fancy plans, and pants to match.

<small>Feel free to copy, post, and modify it elsewhere (so long as it still has the correct answers). Please email any comments, suggestions, and especially corrections to russellmz@yahoo.com </small>

Originally posted by Germanboy:

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT BEFORE READING ON!!!!!

The only post truly worth reading is the first one. All the other posts are a public service mostly provided by people from the Peng Thread to keep the first post afloat. If you have any moral/legal/tastal/mammal or any other issues with the Peng Thread and its occupants, please refrain from reading on, since even JD Morse will not be able to get damages for you in that case. We will write a harmless story and promise to try very hard to behave and self-police this. Honest.

If you read on, you have been warned, don't come a-crying later.

from last FAQ

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

"common sense or intellect whatsoever. In fact, I am so dim that when I come home from work, my wife . . ."<hr></blockquote>

[ 10-30-2001: Message edited by: russellmz ]</p>

[MrSpkr]

Originally posted by MrSpkr:

"common sense or intellect whatsoever. In fact, I am so dim that when I come home from work, my wife . . ."

". . . wondered what the heck just happened. I mean, we were just standing here in the FAQ thread one minute, and the next thing you know . . ."

[russellmz]

"...one of those damned rips in the space time continuom happens. and only in the FAQ threads. how very odd. but there are many who call such a manimonious intrusion a justification, nay a call for the very magnification of the obtruficating complaint letters taht are abounding to the very core of the subject called..."

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by russellmz:

"...one of those damned rips in the space time continuom happens. and only in the FAQ threads. how very odd. but there are many who call such a manimonious intrusion a justification, nay a call for the very magnification of the obtruficating complaint letters taht are abounding to the very core of the subject called..."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

"Mod Managers. Specifically, PC Mod managers. One wonders where it can be downloaded, and why there isn't a link in the FAQ?

These matters wieghed heavy on . . ."

[russellmz]

"...the faq bumpers, who preceded to stone the faq author. since russellmz was the author and a bumper, he was unable to escape the hail of..."

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by russellmz:

"...the faq bumpers, who preceded to stone the faq author. since russellmz was the author and a bumper, he was unable to escape the hail of..."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

"golf balls.

'FORE!' MrSpkr shouted as he swung through.

Crud! Sliced again! I really need to work on my game. Or at least I should . . ."

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

"golf balls.

'FORE!' MrSpkr shouted as he swung through.

Crud! Sliced again! I really need to work on my game. Or at least I should . . ."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...'stop teeing off from the middle of a daisy-chained mine field'

'It's murder on my'....

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

...'stop teeing off from the middle of a daisy-chained mine field'

'It's murder on my'....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ping. Of course, this is not to be confused with Peng, who is, of course, . . ."

[Maximus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Ping. Of course, this is not to be confused with Peng, who is, of course, . . ."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

some bastitch who doesn't like smilies. But then again that never stopped Mace from his liking of sheep. Speaking of which, shouldn't 109 Gustav be returning from his fishing trauler soon? Where did we see him last? Ah yeah, somewhere in the Indian Ocean when the rest of the FAQ'ers were stranded on a big boat when...

[russellmz]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Maximus:

Ah yeah, somewhere in the Indian Ocean when the rest of the FAQ'ers were stranded on a big boat when...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...this sheep came swamming up (not swimming, as sheep only swam). it started to...

[MrSpkr]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by russellmz:

...this sheep came swamming up (not swimming, as sheep only swam). it started to...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

fall to the third page, when it was expertly rescued by . . .

[Maximus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

fall to the third page, when it was expertly rescued by . . .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

..MrSpkr who never likes to use vowels in his on-line names, but once learning what those vowels would be, one cannot blame him for keeping those secret.

But as Mannheim Golfcartdriver was coming out of his hybernation, the boat suddenly jerked about when the FAQ'ers noticed that....

[Maximus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Maximus:

..MrSpkr who never likes to use vowels in his on-line names, but once learning what those vowels would be, one cannot blame him for keeping those secret.

But as Mannheim Golfcartdriver was coming out of his hybernation, the boat suddenly jerked about when the FAQ'ers noticed that....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...the FAQ had fallen down to the 2nd page again but not before the boat was hit by a tremendous wave of selfishness from MrSpkr when Gustav showed up in his trauler.

[Mannheim Tanker]

The FAQers couldn't help but notice that Maxipus didn't even leave a storyline for the next poster to latch onto. The shame, the horror, the sheep...

[Mace]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mannheim Tanker:

The FAQers couldn't help but notice that Maxipus didn't even leave a storyline for the next poster to latch onto. The shame, the horror, the sheep...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...which in this context could be perceived as a bad thing, when everyone knows that sheep are fluffy and cute.

Oh, so...very...cute! *drools*

Thier firm bodies surrounded by a glorious coverage that is a delight to run one's fingers through.

The feeling is much like....

[russellmz]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mace:

...which in this context could be perceived as a bad thing, when everyone knows that sheep are fluffy and cute.

Oh, so...very...cute! *drools*

Thier firm bodies surrounded by a glorious coverage that is a delight to run one's fingers through.

The feeling is much like....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...that of getting whacked in the...

[Mannheim Tanker]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by russellmz:

...that of getting whacked in the...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...FAQ...

[Maximus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mannheim Tanker:

...FAQ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...by a storyless post, but then again so was the...

[109 Gustav]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Maximus:

...by a storyless post, but then again so was the...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

past of this thread, but not the future! Gustav had returned from the setnet site, smelling like 20,000 pounds of salmon. He kicked off his Xtratuffs and raingear, hopped on a plane to college, checked into the dorm, and promptly got on a computer to ask why the hell everyone in the FAQ thinks he was on a trawler. Almostany idiot knows that you can't catch salmon by trawling, you have to use a seine or a gillnet. Somewhat depressed from a summer of very few fish, prices lower than Maximus's code of ethics, and a total lack of girls, Gustav...

[ 08-26-2001: Message edited by: 109 Gustav ]

[Maximus]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by 109 Gustav:

Somewhat depressed from a summer of very few fish, prices lower than Maximus's code of ethics, and a total lack of girls, Gustav...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...masturbated to the slimey touch of the salmon upon which he got very accustomed doing so everynight in his cabin. However so did his trauler mates, but that didn't stop the crew from...

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Maximus:

...masturbated to the slimey touch of the salmon upon which he got very accustomed doing so everynight in his cabin. However so did his trauler mates, but that didn't stop the crew from...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

celebrating the departure of "that young college snot" who comes out here and plays at being a fisherman. "Even the greenest rookie knows that you got to go with the grain of the scales, not agin' it. Now that he's gone, we can let the Playboy bunnies out of the Captain's cabin, and start the real welcome home party! I think we'll start with Miss..."

[Mannheim Tanker]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

celebrating the departure of "that young college snot" who comes out here and plays at being a fisherman. "Even the greenest rookie knows that you got to go with the grain of the scales, not agin' it. Now that he's gone, we can let the Playboy bunnies out of the Captain's cabin, and start the real welcome home party! I think we'll start with Miss..."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...Salmon Queen herself, the favorite poster girl of 109 Gutshot's trawler crew. Her seductive poses lured many a seaman to his fate, what with those beautiful gills and curvy fins. I'm sure that 109 Gutshot would just...

(PS. Welcome back to the world of the living, Gustav!)

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Mannheim Tanker:

...Salmon Queen herself, the favorite poster girl of 109 Gutshot's trawler crew. Her seductive poses lured many a seaman to his fate, what with those beautiful gills and curvy fins. I'm sure that 109 Gutshot would just...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

languish in an endorphin-filled haze while surrounded by slippery, slimy fish guts and let the FAQ fall to the second page, even after making such a brew-ha-ha with his return to the college town.

Why at this moment, rather than watching the FAQ like he should, he's probably off...