==) FAQ (== How to take Screenshots and Stuff!

Phillies Phan · May 26, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

mensch, obviously wishing to emulate his idol, Pawbroon.

The other FAQer's smiled nervously and slunk away, intent on . . .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...finding something interesting to write about. Mace's antics between the sheeps was getting somewhat boring. The minutes and hours ticked by while Maximus waited to put something perverted on the monitor. "I'll get them this time" Max muttered to himself. His nightie was getting itchy and his eyes were blurry from too many hours of watching...

109 Gustav · May 26, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Phillies Phan:

...finding something interesting to write about. Mace's antics between the sheeps was getting somewhat boring. The minutes and hours ticked by while Maximus waited to put something perverted on the monitor. "I'll get them this time" Max muttered to himself. His nightie was getting itchy and his eyes were blurry from too many hours of watching...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

his pet hamster, who was living a happy life inside the pocket of Maximus's nightie. Suddenly, the entire FAQ was knocked over by the awful stench of long-dead salmon. 109 Gustav looked in the door. "Hi guys, I'm just checking in to make sure that somebody's saving the links to all the old FAQs. Wouldn't want to miss a minute's worth of taunting while I'm gone. Phillies, have you lost those coconut shells yet? Well, gotta go, my time on this darn library computer is up. Heading out for the fish site in three days. Bye." Once they had recovered from the smell, everyone...

PS- someone save those links!!!

Mace · May 26, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by 109 Gustav:

Once they had recovered from the smell, everyone...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...threw up, projectile vomit bombarding the unwary and bathing them in half-digested chunks of peas and carrot, gastric juices dribbling down their best clothes and leaving stains that no amount of cleaning will remove.

"Woot", yelled Mensch while on his way to disrupt the faq thread once more, "that's just plain"...

[ 05-26-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

Herr Oberst · May 27, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Mace:

...threw up, projectile vomit bombarding the unwary and bathing them in half-digested chunks of peas and carrot, gastric juices dribbling down their best clothes and leaving stains that no amount of cleaning will remove.

"Woot", yelled Mensch while on his way to disrupt the faq thread once more, "that's just plain"...

[ 05-26-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

cold. It was so cold... It was so cold..."

"C'mon guys. 'How cold was it?' you're supposed to say." See, it seems that Mensch had just finished a box of Cheerios cereal, and was currently delighted with the material as he flipped through his "Book of Jokes Even An Idiot Can Tell." that he found inside.

"C'mon guys, they're really funny. Like this one."

"It was so cold that you had to take your dog for a walk with a hammer to break him off the fire hydrant whe he was done."

"And then there's this one..."

[ 05-27-2001: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]

russellmz · May 27, 2001

'a termite walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "why the long face?"

bwahahhahahaa!

wait, i told it wrong...lemme check this list of old faq threads for the original joke in there:

here it is! a termite walks into a bar and asks, "is the bar tender here?" bhwhwhahahahah...sniff. ba-da-BUMP!'

the other faq'ers quickly reached a consensus. "that is the most..."

[ 05-27-2001: Message edited by: russellmz ]

Phillies Phan · May 28, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by russellmz:

'a termite walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "why the long face?"

bwahahhahahaa!

wait, i told it wrong...lemme check this list of old faq threads for the original joke in there:

<DT><H3 FOLDED ADD_DATE="985904657">FAQ</H3> <DL>

here it is! a termite walks into a bar and asks, "is the bar tender here?" bhwhwhahahahah...sniff. ba-da-BUMP!'

the other faq'ers quickly reached a consensus. "that is the most..."

[ 05-27-2001: Message edited by: russellmz ]<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...links in one space I've seen in a message. It was nice seeing my very first bump under my old username.

********************************************

I had my flamethrower strapped to my back and my asbestos underwear on. Nobody was going to take my binkie away. Only a small...

Herr Oberst · May 28, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Phillies Phan:

...links in one space I've seen in a message. It was nice seeing my very first bump under my old username.

********************************************

I had my flamethrower strapped to my back and my asbestos underwear on. Nobody was going to take my binkie away. Only a small...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

mind, a terribly, pitifully, insignificantly small mind would be attempting to defend his "binkie" in that manner.

Everyone knows that a three-year-old does not need a flamethrower to render aid and succor to his binkie. Because binkies excel at finding undefeatable hiding places even in the most constrained of environments. Take your car for instance. With the windows shut, hurling down the road at 60 miles per hour (or some insane kph for those with a metric flair), a binkie can simply disappear from sight, and defeat even a concentrated effort to find it at the next rest stop.

This phenomena is known as...

[ 05-28-2001: Message edited by: Herr Oberst ]

Maximus · May 29, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

This phenomena is known as...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...speeding. However this phenomena will also get you a nice visit from a county mounty or state bandit. Unless of course if you live in Montana where there are no Speed Limits, but then so what.

Anyway, while Gustav was desperately trying to maintain his sanity by wanting some links to something. However these links were not what everybody expected, they were actually....

Mace · May 29, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Maximus:

However these links were not what everybody expected, they were actually....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...chain links from a bondage kit owned by...

[ 05-28-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

MrSpkr · May 29, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Mace:

...chain links from a bondage kit owned by...

Kitty!

Of course, this excited all the FAQ'ers because Kitty is . . .

Mace · May 29, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Of course, this excited all the FAQ'ers because Kitty is . . .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...this top bonza shiela who, through a display of one photo of her in tight (very tight) leather, has caused more premature heart attacks in the 30-50 male demographic than *URK*.. than.. *ARRGHHH*

..tha... *AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE* ... *kaplonk*...*silence*...

MrSpkr · May 29, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Mace:

...this top bonza shiela who, through a display of one photo of her in tight (very tight) leather, has caused more premature heart attacks in the 30-50 male demographic than *URK*.. than.. *ARRGHHH*

..tha... *AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE* ... *kaplonk*...*silence*...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The FAQ'ers stood around Mace's still form in silence. MrSpkr then looked up and announced,"I know CPR!"

He glanced down at Mace, slowly expiring.

MrSpkr looked up again. "But I'll be darned if I'm gonna use it here."

Fortunately for Mace, along came a sheep that . . .

MrSpkr · May 29, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

The FAQ'ers stood around Mace's still form in silence. MrSpkr then looked up and announced,"I know CPR!"

He glanced down at Mace, slowly expiring.

MrSpkr looked up again. "But I'll be darned if I'm gonna use it here."

Fortunately for Mace, along came a sheep that . . .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

kicked him in the head and shouted, "HEY YOU KNOBS! YOU LET THIS THREAD FALL OFF THE FRONT PAGE AGAIN!"

With that, the sheep turned and left. Mace sat up, rubbing his bruised skull, and said . . .

Phillies Phan · May 29, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

kicked him in the head and shouted, "HEY YOU KNOBS! YOU LET THIS THREAD FALL OFF THE FRONT PAGE AGAIN!"

With that, the sheep turned and left. Mace sat up, rubbing his bruised skull, and said . . .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...tie me kangaroo down, sport?

Roight, where is me digeredoo? I can't go anywhere without it, mate! Let me find my top sheila and get on with my...

MrSpkr · May 29, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Phillies Phan:

...tie me kangaroo down, sport?

Roight, where is me digeredoo? I can't go anywhere without it, mate! Let me find my top sheila and get on with my...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Mace's reverie was rudely interrupted by the return fo the sheep, which kicked Mace in the head again, yelling "I TOLD YOU KNOBS TO STOP LETTING THIS THREAD SLIP TO THE SECOND PAGE!"

The sheep then stomped off.

Mace, looking groggy, slurred . . .

Mace · May 30, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Mace, looking groggy, slurred . . .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

"bugger!Ain't nothing as deadly as a sheep scorned"!

Picking himself of the ground and rubbing the bumps swelling on his head, he found himself amongst collapsed buildings, burnt out AFVs, and bodies clad in grey and brown.

Bending over, he picked up a discarded PPsH SMG (with drum magazine), cocked it, and charged towards the tractor factory to join...

Phillies Phan · May 30, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

Mace's reverie was rudely interrupted by the return fo the sheep, which kicked Mace in the head again, yelling "I TOLD YOU KNOBS TO STOP LETTING THIS THREAD SLIP TO THE SECOND PAGE!"

The sheep then stomped off.

Mace, looking groggy, slurred . . .

"bugger!Ain't nothing as deadly as a sheep scorned"!

Picking himself of the ground and rubbing the bumps swelling on his head, he found himself amongst collapsed buildings, burnt out AFVs, and bodies clad in grey and brown.

Bending over, he picked up a discarded PPsH SMG (with drum magazine), cocked it, and charged towards the tractor factory to join...

his buddy, mistersprikler who was busy shaking the dew off the lillies of his neighbors. His was a sad...

[ 05-29-2001: Message edited by: Phillies Phan ]

Mace · May 30, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Phillies Phan:

His was a sad...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...example of a sex-change operation gone wrong, and a lobotomy that went...

[ 05-30-2001: Message edited by: Mace ]

MrSpkr · May 30, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Mace:

...example of a sex-change operation gone wrong, and a lobotomy that went...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

right for his pet dog Weinerschnitzel. This dog was so dumb that she thought "fetching" consisted of walking around trying to look sexy in front of Mace.

But enough about family pets. No, now it is time to attack the factory and . . .

Phillies Phan · May 31, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

right for his pet dog Weinerschnitzel. This dog was so dumb that she thought "fetching" consisted of walking around trying to look sexy in front of Mace.

But enough about family pets. No, now it is time to attack the factory and . . .<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...find a place to set up shop. Mace never really had a dog. He had a huge pet rat named Norman who was as big as a dog. Norman would roam the countryside and small kids would ride on his back. "Good on ya" they would say as Norman would gnaw on the mums who would be too slow to get out of the way.

His glistening flanks would writhe as he frolicked to and fro accross the backyard of Mace.

Mace used to be in "Blue movies". Repeat after me, kids. Blue Movies

He was known for his...

Gyrene · May 31, 2001

Quote:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>originally posted by Phillies Phan:

Mace used to be in "Blue movies". Repeat after me, kids. Blue Movies

He was known for his... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...Ability to make large objects disappear and reappear from anatomically improbable places.

"I once took in the entire Encyclopeadia Brittanica and sent it back out translated to Chinese, such is my skill!", said Mace, "I have also been able to provide shelter for the homeless and helped the war effort by smuggling weapons to partisans by the use of my powers."

"But now I look for greater challenges, I hope to be able to..."

Phillies Phan · May 31, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Gyrene:

Quote:

...Ability to make large objects disappear and reappear from anatomically improbable places.

"I once took in the entire Encyclopeadia Brittanica and sent it back out translated to Chinese, such is my skill!", said Mace, "I have also been able to provide shelter for the homeless and helped the war effort by smuggling weapons to partisans by the use of my powers."

"But now I look for greater challenges, I hope to be able to..."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...find a way to keep the FAQ thread on Page one. Who here has the Ko Jones to help me out? Perhaps some Air Supply songs will rally the troops. "Here I am, the one that you...

MrSpkr · May 31, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Phillies Phan:

...find a way to keep the FAQ thread on Page one. Who here has the Ko Jones to help me out? Perhaps some Air Supply songs will rally the troops. "Here I am, the one that you...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

"YEAAARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

Suddenly, in a desperate attempt to save civilization, Phillies' lower intestine leaped out of his abdomen and proceeded to strangle him.

"Whew, that was close," said Mace. "I almost had to . . ."

Mace · June 1, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by MrSpkr:

"Whew, that was close," said Mace. "I almost had to . . ."<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

..."put the gun to my head and blow my brains out, I so abhor YES ABHOR!!! Air Supply for turning out tunes that are mind numbing and lacking in any OOMPH".

"Best thing we ever did was pack them up in a crate and have them shipped over to the States, where there obviously was a market for purile musical crud".

"Now AC/DC, there's a band...oh, and the Divinyls, Hoodoo Gurus...top Aussie bands that Rock, also The Angels, and the Screaming Jets...they all Rock."

"There was Rose Tattoo, and lots of pub bands that never made it overseas but kept me entertained".

"Phan, you mongrel, you could have mentioned any one of those! But no, you had to mention Air Supply"!!!!

"I'm warning you, MATE!!! If you mention them again, or the Bee Gees, or Peter Allan....I'll do you!!!! I'll do you slowly!!!!!!!!"

As Mace ranted, the others....

Maximus · June 1, 2001

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:<HR>Originally posted by Mace:

"I'm warning you, MATE!!! If you mention them again, or the Bee Gees, or Peter Allan....I'll do you!!!! I'll do you slowly!!!!!!!!"

As Mace ranted, the others....<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

...started singing along to "Mr. Roboto" by the STYX because they knew it would piss off Mace. As he knew AIR SUPPLY and STYX did a tribute album containing duets by both bands. However Mace started singing songs by NAZERATH like "Hair of the Dog". This really got the FAQ'ers going. Before long the FAQ'er were slinging musical insults at one another when all of a sudden...

"Whoah, that was a terrible dream!" Mace declared. "All the FAQ'ers singing 70's rock songs at one another, GEEZ what the hell was I drinking last night?"

With that Mace got out of bed and went to his kitchen to fix him some breakfast. He then went into his living room, turned on his TV and low and behold, there was all the FAQ'ers singing "We are the World" with the USA for Africa group. "AAAHHHH!" "What the Hell is going on???"

At that moment, all the FAQ'ers on the TV said, "Smile Mace, you're on Candid Camera!"

With that, Mace said, "....

==) FAQ (== How to take Screenshots and Stuff!

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