Chupacabra Posted August 15, 2000 Share Posted August 15, 2000 I'd like to propose that BTS introduce a new system for CM2, which I've dubbed IGO-UNOGO. In this system, my units would have free range over the battlefield, while opposing units would be unable to move or fire in any way. I'll give a brief example: Turn 1) Player A plots orders as normal. Player B does nothing. Turn 2) Player A plots orders. Player B does nothing. Turn 3) Player A plots orders. Player B does nothing. And so on. I feel that this would eliminate the gameyness inherent in the wego system, as anything which might cause me to take casualties is clearly gamey. Plus, imagine the thrill of watching your elite Gerbiljaegers in power armor and gatling laser-equipped mecha utterly destroy your opponent's dreaded immobile, unresisting, Napoleonic-era peasant levies. What could be better? In short, I strongly urge that Charles and Steve adopt my IGO-UNOGO system, which is clearly the future of wargaming. ------------------ Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 15, 2000 Share Posted August 15, 2000 Actually Chuppie, your suggestion makes a lot of sense ... or at least it shows more sense than we've come to expect of you. There is, however, an inherent flaw in your system (beyond the fact that you came up with it). In your IGO UNOGO system the definition of "I" and "U" is indeterminate and could be applied to either party. In that case, for example, you might well be relegated to the "U" side in which case you would lose. Mind you that wouldn't represent a massive departure from your current status but we're talking hypothetically here. I propose, in fact I shall insist upon (quick quiz, from which WW2 movie was the last phrase loosely taken and who uttered it), a system to be entitled JOEGO UNOGO. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kingfish Posted August 15, 2000 Share Posted August 15, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I propose, in fact I shall insist upon (quick quiz, from which WW2 movie was the last phrase loosely taken and who uttered it), a system to be entitled JOEGO UNOGO<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Joe, I have a question, What would happen if you were to play the guy that goes by the handle "Joe Blow"? Would it then be JOEGO JOEBLOWUNGO or JOEBLOWGO JOEUNGO? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 15, 2000 Share Posted August 15, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Would it then be JOEGO JOEBLOWUNGO or JOEBLOWGO JOEUNGO?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yes. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grognerd_Fogman Posted August 15, 2000 Share Posted August 15, 2000 To even it out a bit maybe you could allocate more points and experience to the "unogo" player... ------------------ Thanks for Athskin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tss Posted August 15, 2000 Share Posted August 15, 2000 Grognerd_Fogman wrote: To even it out a bit maybe you could allocate more points and experience to the "unogo" player... Hell no. They should have sharpened mangoes, at most. Remember, the prerequisite for a good campaign is that the enemy should under no circumstances have weapons. - Tommi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted August 15, 2000 Author Share Posted August 15, 2000 Thank you, Tommi, for understanding the basics of the IGO-UNOGO system. As for you, Joe, your blighted excuse for a post merely underlines the gameyness of any system which wasn't tailored for my exclusive needs. ------------------ Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hakko Ichiu Posted August 15, 2000 Share Posted August 15, 2000 The posts above merely highlight the pathos involved in allowing access to the internet for evolutionary throwbacks. It is clear to all who can think outside the confines of their Habitrail that CM2 will introduce a Revolutionary New World Order to be dominated by Me. This system will be known as DHSATHOMHA (Die Human Scum at the Hands of My Hamster Army). The takeover of BigTimeSoftware has already begun. Let's just say we have a little surprise in store for Charles the next time he steps into his Weasel. He will be one with us, oh yes, he will be one with us. Shiver in fear, you pathetic excuses for hominids. And no more of those Mormon wives. Some of us are eating. Yours respectfully, Professor Doktor Hamster X Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And no more of those Mormon wives. Some of us are eating.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Sooooo, we don't like the Mormon wives eh Professor Doktor? Hmmmmm, how about THIS ONE Well PROFESSOR DOKTOR? Feeling a little queasy are we? Can't have that can we, how about something to settle your stomach, like THIS ONE NO, STILL NOT FEELING WELL? Pity, poor Eathan probably doesn't feel too good either Hmmmm? Why I bet he feels about as bad as you will after THIS ONE I have more Professor Doktor, lots and lots and lots more and I'LL USE THEM TOO, unless you free Eathan immediately! On your head be it. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannheim Tanker Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 Joe, would your proposed system include the much-promised one-way FOW? You can see the enemy at all times, but they can never see you? Something similar to Gerbilvision ©. BTW: LOL at your wives! Look a lot like my inbred neighbors... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Joe, would your proposed system include the much-promised one-way FOW? You can see the enemy at all times, but they can never see you? Something similar to Gerbilvision ©.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Of course not, that would be cheating. I ALWAYS play with FULL Fog Of War. The JOEGO/UNOGO system will feature One Way Fog however. This feature will cause the enemy to have their LOS limited to 35 meters while mine is unlimited. I didn't want to play the "wives" card, if you think it's tough to look at them here, just imagine how tough it was for me to FIND them. But NO sacrifice is too great for Eathan ... I'm getting worried, the Hamsters are showing some nasty tactics in our game and I've GOT to get Eathan back in control of those troops if I'm to have any kind of chance. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
THumpre Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 I still want to know what is going to done about the Voles? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaakko Harlas Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Sooooo, we don't like the Mormon wives eh Professor Doktor<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Ouch, were did you find these god-awful ladies? From the Mormon Wives Thumbnail Gallery Post? Please, save us from any more of these. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: [The JOEGO/UNOGO system will feature One Way Fog however. This feature will cause the enemy to have their LOS limited to 35 meters while mine is unlimited.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> You would still lose. I am beginning to wonder, does rear-area defense to you mean to leave the VLs undefended and line up for chow at the opposite map-end? ------------------ Andreas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 Enough of the hot babes, Joe, this isn't a porno forum! I'm getting all excited. Where I come from, the law dictates women have to wear full-length bin liners and ski masks. Not often I get to see any 'nudie' pics. Can't wait until my 40th birthday, when I'll get to actually talk to them (for not longer than a minute per day, mind). Wooo! David ------------------ There's a splinter in your eye, and it reads REACT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
howardb Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 OH GOD MAKE IT STOP PLEASE !!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noba Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 It's too late to stop it. SUPER BUNNY from a re-run of the 'Goodies' is out for revenge. Hamsters, Gerbils beware !!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeterNZer Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 you guys. are weird HURAH CM WORKS ON MY PC! BOW BEFORE MY THROBBING LENGHT OF GE-FORCE 2 CARD PULSATING IN HARDWARE T&L MANNER oops, time for the Lithium PeterNZ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 I'm sorry guys, I just can't stand what's happening to poor Eathan. And actually, now that I think about it, how would I know if the evil hamsters had really released him? They lie you know. About the only way to be SURE that it was Eathan I was playing was if ... he were to lose to me. Then I could be sure it was REALLY Eathan and the wives could stop. But unless that happens ... I'm afraid I have to stand up for the right, even if no one else has the moxie to stand with me. It's lonely out here, alone on the firing line, the ONLY one to take a stand for JUSTICE {sob}. Andreas, your attack reminds me of a little old lady backing out of parking lot. Stop, look ... look some more ... look again ... back up an inch ... stop ... look ... sheesh. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David Aitken Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 Joe Shaw wrote: > It's lonely out here, alone on the firing line, the ONLY one to take a stand for JUSTICE Standing on firing lines is generally accepted to be bad for one's health. No-one told that to the platoon of extras at the beginning of Saving Private Ryan, and look what happened to them. Special effects? Aye right. Those men are dead, and I've got the skulls to prove it. David ------------------ There's a splinter in your eye, and it reads REACT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Andreas, your attack reminds me of a little old lady backing out of parking lot. Stop, look ... look some more ... look again ... back up an inch ... stop ... look ... sheesh.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Joe, FYI, it is called tactics and it is what real commanders do. But I am not surprised you fail to recognise it. Graduate of the 'Midvale ROTC for the Gifted' that you are. ------------------ Andreas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Graduate of the 'Midvale ROTC for the Gifted' that you are.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Are you aware of the fact that one of the suburbs of Salt Lake City is called ... Midvale? Or did that come from another source? There are tactics and then there are ... tactics my friend. Although, to be perfectly honest, I'm afraid I made some rather significant errors early on. We'll see. Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted August 16, 2000 Author Share Posted August 16, 2000 Well, I'm just sickened and disgusted. I write a serious post about what I think could be the next big thing in wargaming, and a bunch of mongoloid, stone tool-using, cave-painting Land of the Lost rejects goes and sullies it up with their good-for-nothing doo-doo taunts and Mormon pornography (Mormography?). Professor Doktor Hamster X - Your rinky-dink hamster army scares me about as much as my own offal. That is, I don't care to look at it or smell it, but I don't stay up nights thinking about it. Worry not, one day my valorousVolesgrenadiers will slaughter your pathetic flock of namby-pamby sissyboys. Jaw Shoe - While your lewd Mormon agitprop may distract the weak-minded and those of low morals, it does nothing more than stoke the righteous fires burning within me. Soon the flames shall engulf you and your dissipated Mormon housewives. Squirminjoy - It always amazes me that, somehow, some brief flash of insight manages to penetrate into the reptillian recesses of that lump of steaming frijoles you call a brain, allowing you to tap out something which vaguely approximates the English language on what, in normal circumstances, must be your pwetty pwastic bang toy. However, might I suggest you take up a new hobby? Communication doesn't suit you. I recommend either sunning yourself on a rock or fingerpainting. That is all. ------------------ Soy super bien, soy super super bien, soy bien bien super bien bien bien super super. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 Chupacapbrachcupabchupa ... Oh Yeah? Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Germanboy Posted August 16, 2000 Share Posted August 16, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw: Are you aware of the fact that one of the suburbs of Salt Lake City is called ... Midvale? Or did that come from another source?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> One of my favourite Gary Larson cartoons. Chumbawambachickenandsquaw, you what? ------------------ Andreas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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