Von Brizee Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 Well I have posted some funny but bad stuff that has happened to me in CM games before, but I just laughed way too hard at this one Okay I am playing a quick battle, and am defending a town. I have 2 bazookas in 2 different light buildings right across from each other. In one of the buildings is a sniper, in the other 2 men of a platoon hq. Well a Tiger comes rumbling down the road between them and I say "Haha! Ambush you;re dead!" And my bazookas both fire-and miss. The rockets fly across the street into the buildings on the other side. My sniper dies, my HQ dies, and one bazooka dies. My surviving bazooka, fires once more at the Tiger and the building lights on fire, killing him. That was the funniest 1 minute of action I had seen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mirage2k Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 Well, I was walking down Winthrop Drive past the elementary school, drunk as Boris Yeltsin, when this police car pulls up and... Oh, not one of those stories! I think the funniest (and most rewarding!) thing that has happened to me in CM was when I lost all of my AFVs in the first ten turns of the battle (I was still learning at that point in my CM career) but still managed to fight my way to a minor victory. Ah, the glory. -Andrew ------------------ Throw me a frickin' smiley, people! Your one-stop-shop for gaming news is www.SiegersPost.com ! Hit it! [This message has been edited by Mirage2k (edited 08-04-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bullethead Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And my bazookas both fire-and miss. The rockets fly across the street into the buildings on the other side. My sniper dies, my HQ dies, and one bazooka dies. My surviving bazooka, fires once more at the Tiger and the building lights on fire, killing him.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Thanks for the laugh That beats anything I've seen. ------------------ -Bullethead It was a common custom at that time, in the more romantic females, to see their soldier husbands and sweethearts as Greek heroes, instead of the whoremongering, drunken clowns most of them were. However, the Greek heroes were probably no better, so it was not so far off the mark--Flashman Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darren J Pierson Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 My funniest experience was in a QB with my Canadians defending against the Germans. I let the computer pick the forces with random quality. So, it was conscript Germans against a Crack Canadian engineer platoon. I had placed my flamethrower unit in a house with it hidden. The only armor I had was a Stuart and a Ram Kangaroo. The Germans had a Hetzer and a Panther. So, I placed my Stuart on the right flank behind some woods with only a very narrow fire lane possible. I was hoping to attack infantry and avoid his armor. Well, it became funny because as the Stuart engaged the enemy infantry in its field of vision, the Panther came across the map and got into its field of fire. Needless to say, the Stuart became rapidly upset and reversed out of there and wound up behind the building that my flamethrower team was in. For the next few turns the Stuart would dart out from behind the building and take a couple of quick shots at the infantry and duck back behind the building as soon as the Panther spotted it. The Panther would wind its way left and right towards the building going after the Stuart and avoiding small obstacles like woods and a roadblock. Finally, the Panther drove right across the face of the building and after three bursts the flamethrower destroyed the Panther. (It was buttoned up after my sharpshooter tried to take the TC's head off.) It was just hilarious to watch this poor little Stuart dart back and forth like a kid with a pop gun to finally sucker that Panther into driving into the trap. The Stuart had no choice because certain death awaited it if it moved out too far, but it was still quite amusing. Darren Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Captitalistdoginchina Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 Playing the VoT demo as Germans against a PBEM opponent i watched as he stormed Plomville. I had a HMG squad on the top floor of a building and he sent 2 engineer squads running up the stairs to flush me out or to silence my machine gun. The fight was upclose and personal, my machinegun squad inflicted heavy casualties to the first engineers that ran up the stairs - The HMG is lethal at that range. Anyway the second Engineer squad ran up the stairs and also started to take casualties, then i saw the engineer squad hurl a satchel charge at my HMG - but i watched in glee as the satchel charge flew right over the head of my HMG right out the window, it fell onto another amercican rifle squad running below. It killed 3 of his own men while my HMG squad continued to slaughter his engineers. Watching that satchel charge fly out of the buiding and onto his own men below was great. Splendid Splendid Splendid. BTW my HMG squad survived the onslaught as my opponent surrendered soon after. CDIC ------------------ "Death solves all problems - no man no problem" J.V.Stalin, 1918 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olduvai Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 I too have had some fun moments with bazookas. In a recent pbem, as american attackers i was quickly advancing over relatively open terrain against dug in Heer troops. I managed to get to a treeline before the smoke cleared, but soon discovered that this treeline was an enormously obvious place to be. Mortar started dropping everywhere; my troops would soon be slaughtered. Reverse being the wrong direction, ahead was the only option; two buildings about 40-50 meters away. Probably both manned, but I am receiving fire from only one. I send half my troops including bazooka unit racing toward one building while the other lays down suppressing fire (I play so enormously badly that I need to sound impressive in my retellings). For reasons known only to the CM gods, my particular bazooka team leaps up a good 5-10 seconds and goes charging toward the building. Inspired by their comrades, the two squads also charged with taking the building leap to their feet and follow Speedy Gonzales by only a few feet. I am not sure who is more surprised, my bazooka team or the flamethrower who is hiding in the building; regardless the appropriate action for both seems to be ignore each other. Bazook runs past alarmed flamethrower, and takes up position against other wall. Two squads are about four seconds from entering the building; I figure the flamethrower is waiting for them. Bazooka discovers another suprise waiting for us on the other side of the building; a Pak of some sort, which he promptly decides to take out with the zook. I suppose you can guess where this is all leading. In a dramatic three seconds, bazooka fires and takes out the Pak. Of course, there is a flamethrower unit directly behind said bazooka, and yes, the back draft from zook does in fact ignite the flamethrower. Massive fireball ensues, which apparently triggers the detonation of the building, and flattens it (accompanied by the biggest damn shockwave i have ever seen in cm). One squad looses six in the flames; both decide that the mortar-ridden tree line is in fact much safer and makes a hasty retreat and wouldn't they in fact rather be in Peoria? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CEO Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 The funniest thing I experienced was during an operation (can't remember which one). My jeep is cruising down the road, just tooling around. Then he hits a mine field, and the jeep keeps going for a hundred meters or so down the road! THAT was funny. ------------------ No smilies were harmed in the making of this post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jgdpzr Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 I just experienced a classic little sight in a pbem I am playing. Here's the situation: My opponent is overrunning my positions with a plethora of T8's carrying infantry. He probably has 15 of the little buggers and has decided to send them on a dash right through my lines at maximum speed. I am pulling my armor back, trying to maintain separation between them and any zooks he may try to dismount. I have a Tiger going at it's rather paltry maximum speed and along from behind it comes a T8 happily ripping along at full speed. Well, my plodding old Tiger takes offense at being passed like this. Acting like someone in a fit of road rage, my commander slams down the hatch and simultaneously launches the best-aimed round from its Naverheitigungswaffe you have ever seen. The bomb arcs through the air and detonates directly above the hapless little T8. Boom, top penetration, no more T8. Funny thing, the team that was riding on the back of the T8 took no casualties. Man, I have replayed that 50 times and it still cracks me up! ------------------ "Sometimes you eat the bar and sometimes the bar eats you. Take it easy, Dude." -- The Stranger The Dude abides. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mannheim Tanker Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 I was playing the Nijmegen river crossing scenario as a PBEM (with me as the Amis). I had finally pushed most of my tanks up to the near river bank, so my opponent must have decided it was time for his remaining armor (a few halftracks and an AC) to make a beeline across the bridge to the safety of the far bank. It looked like the Indy 500 with those HT's racing across the bridge - I've never seen vehicles move so fast in CM, and neither had my tankers, apparently. They fired shot after shot at the high speed parade on the bridge, but couldn't get a hit! Finally, the last halftrack got nailed about midway across the bridge. It had so much momentum, however, that it continued to sail across the bridge, PAST several buildings, and finally planted itself in a building over one street into the town on the far bank. I seem to remember the crew bailing out in the town when it came to rest in the building...I watched that movie about a dozen times Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Shaw Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 I've told this before but it still cracks me up. I was in a PBEM game with Andreas and had a sniper hiding in a wheatfield. Andreas had his American troops moving toward me on one side of the wheatfield. After the majority of the infantry had passed he set up a MMG in one of the houses. I ordered my sniper to sneak forward and take a shot at the MMG. During the movie turn I watched as the sniper got up, moved forward, then stopped, turned and walked back to his foxhole. I was, of course, furious with this arrant coward and zoomed in for a closer look at this representative of the "Master Race." When I zoomed in, I saw this old white haired guy in a Volksturm uniform and the expression on his face said, so much clearer than words could have, "F**K This ..." Joe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcgivney Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by jgdpzr: I just experienced a classic little sight in a pbem I am playing. Here's the situation: My opponent is overrunning my positions with a plethora of T8's carrying infantry. He probably has 15 of the little buggers and has decided to send them on a dash right through my lines at maximum speed. I am pulling my armor back, trying to maintain separation between them and any zooks he may try to dismount. I have a Tiger going at it's rather paltry maximum speed and along from behind it comes a T8 happily ripping along at full speed. Well, my plodding old Tiger takes offense at being passed like this. Acting like someone in a fit of road rage, my commander slams down the hatch and simultaneously launches the best-aimed round from its Naverheitigungswaffe you have ever seen. The bomb arcs through the air and detonates directly above the hapless little T8. Boom, top penetration, no more T8. Funny thing, the team that was riding on the back of the T8 took no casualties. Man, I have replayed that 50 times and it still cracks me up! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> There must be a way to post this somewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jgdpzr Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 Originally posted by mcgivney: There must be a way to post this somewhere. I still have it so I'd be glad to share it. If anyone knows of a repository for this type of thing, let me know and I'll post it. I'm sure I can trust my opponent not to do too much peeking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Weaver Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 Divine retribution for gaminess... Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jgdpzr Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 Dan, Yeah, perhaps some may view his choice of weapons purchasing as a bit gamey, but I don't mind. Especially since all those little gnats seem to have kept much in the way of anti-tank capability off the field . If nothing else, it makes for an interesting battle. It's like shooting flies with a .44. Also, I have a very ahistorical collection of units myself: Tiger, Panther A, and a IVJ, combined with Fallschirmjaeger. So, I guess my unit selection of could be perceived as gamey, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freyland Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 No purchase is gamey in a QB unless both opponents are completely knowledgable purist and agree ahead of time. QB is time to play. Leave accuracy to scenarios. That said, I am not amused at the Stormkompanie, Jagdtiger, KT, 88mm Flak charging my position in our most recent game, Meeks! (Actually, the gun was destroyed by a scrambling Howitzer Carriage who apparently pushed the nearby Jackson into the Tiger's LOF so he could escape. I suppose the gun was supposed to be some form of apology) Jonathan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eridani Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 I must say the funniest thing I ever saw, I was playing an op... I ordered one of my jeeps to run down a road at high speed for recon. Well, unfortunately, sed road was mined. The poor little jeep plowed full speed into a mine field and exploded with a catastrophic explosion, then CONTINUED down the road, setting off 3-4 MORE minefields, including 2 more catastrophic explosions... needless to say I'm sure there wasn't much left of the jeep when it stopped rolling... nope, the poor fool never got out. But he gave me good recon, he found 4 of the enemy minefields all by himself lol -EridanMan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Von Brizee Posted August 4, 2000 Author Share Posted August 4, 2000 Okay I have found my most hated of my own units. I was playing a PBEM battle and I had a Kubelwagen speeding back towards my lines. He was dropping off a sniper really close to the Americans. Well on his way towards my lines at full speed, he starts taking fire, needless to say, he gets killed. But the funny thing is that he keeps on GOING! He speeds down the road and runs over an AT mine lights on fire, but keeps GOING! (It's down a hill!) When the road reaches a turn, he plows right off the road at a hidden Heavy Weapons platoon. Well they all stand up and run around to get outta the way, and my opponent now sees them and starts firing all these mortars at them, destroying my great ambush. Damn the Kubelwagen from hell!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olduvai Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Von Brizee: ...Damn the Kubelwagen from hell!!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Now that's a signature line if I ever saw one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Von Brizee Posted August 4, 2000 Author Share Posted August 4, 2000 It certainly looked hellish, driving around while ON FIRE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PzKpfw 1 Posted August 4, 2000 Share Posted August 4, 2000 Today playing an Ardennes scenerio, my Ge umits were tearing up US Inf trying to hold a road into a town. Well they ended up ontop of the US FO but then before the turn ended they routed my Plt of Fusilers. Next turn here comes an 155 barrage right down on top of the FO & every US unit in range & kiling the FO (I swear I heard the FO say 'oh ****e') and destroying or routing the entire US force in the area, their were US bodies everywhere & lil guys runnin all over yellin 'get outa here they'll kill us all' Next turn I waltzed into the town..... Regards, John Waters Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CEO Posted August 5, 2000 Share Posted August 5, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Eridani: I must say the funniest thing I ever saw, I was playing an op... I ordered one of my jeeps to run down a road at high speed for recon. Well, unfortunately, sed road was mined. The poor little jeep plowed full speed into a mine field and exploded with a catastrophic explosion, then CONTINUED down the road, setting off 3-4 MORE minefields, including 2 more catastrophic explosions... needless to say I'm sure there wasn't much left of the jeep when it stopped rolling... nope, the poor fool never got out. But he gave me good recon, he found 4 of the enemy minefields all by himself lol -EridanMan<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Okay. That beats mine. ------------------ No smilies were harmed in the making of this post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Commissar Posted August 5, 2000 Share Posted August 5, 2000 Well, since I only played the demo (short on money lately, working to get those precious $45 + shipping!) my account isn't nearly as funny as the ones some of you guys listed, but I think it's at least mentionable. It was the "Valley of Trouble" scenario, with me as the Germans. Over run with enemy M4's (for those who dont remember, 2 in the beginning {1 vet, 1 regular} and 4 more after about the 10th turn I think) I was relying on my only pillbox with anti tank capability. This was in the first few turns, and it was my 75mm Concrete Pillbox vs. 2 M4's. My pillbox was positioned on the southern hill with a good view of the enemy positions, and thus I was able to get a nice clear shot in at the first M4 which popped into view, the Veteran. With a lucky shot, the vet's gun was damaged and he quickly backed off. Then the Regular M4 moved up to face the challenge. We exchanged a few shots, it's the last 5 seconds of the turn, and by some miraculous timing reasons, my pillbox fires it's gun, and a milisecond before the shell actually hits the M4 (burning it up) the M4 managed to squeeze off one last, heroic round into the pillbox, also knocking it out. I watched that film several times, and if my pillbox would have fired 1/4th of a sec earlier the M4 would have been killed and my Pillbox safe to take on the American reinforcements. Oh well, it was great watching. I ended up winning the game (Minor victory) but that tank/pillbox duel to the death was pretty much it's highlight, IMHO. ------------------ ...Every position, every meter of Soviet soil must be defended to the last drop of blood..." - Segment from Order 227 "Not a step back" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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