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BTS please start a new forum for all the hamster lovers!


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It appears that our forum has been siezed by a bunch of hamsterphobes and hamsterphiles. It seems that every subject for discussion lately has degenerated into people wanting to shake various parts of hamsters and gerbils at each other. Disgusting perverts.

Now all this talk about gerbils and hamsters is making me hungry. Time to fire up the grill and have me a Machamster or Macgerbil on a Kaiser roll.

Tony(member of PETA - People Eating Tasty Animals)

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Ran Hell!

I post this as proof.

...battle had been heated and the ss-hamstertruppen were getting ready to withdrawl and re-group. When Out of the smoke of the Canuck artillery SS-Oberscharfuhrer Schutz Rolled into battle with his 1st Chinchillian Panzer platoon.

He proceded to light the whole sector on fire, and routed the Canuck army back into the cold frozen hell they sprang from. All that could be seen were buring kangaroos as far as the eye could see. For this great victory he was awarded the Iron cross.

TC Schutz in his turret observing the damage.

tcchinchilla.jpg

Lorak

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Schutz- what a giant! I have a rare photo of him being awarded the Oak Leaves to his Hamsterkreuz at the Gerbilsschanze.

Who could forget that last fateful stalk into the night, alone with his Katzenfaust, the firm set of his incisors, yellowed with battle... ein reales Nagetier.

Has Ethan been released yet?

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Ah yes, Shutz. I particularly liked that fine biography "The Devil's Rodent" by Ima Fuzziecritter. I thought it was a balanced and fair appraisal of a chinchilla that was at once brilliant and flawed. Let's not forget, in our adoration of Shutz, that he was tried and convicted of complicity in the Marmalade Massacre. I know, I know, "So little marmalade, so many rodents," but that doesn't excuse the way he herded those poor minks into those traps. A ploy, I hasten to add, for which Hamsters would never have tumbled.

Joe

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Professor Doktor Hamster X has allowed me to use my computer once again, but I think I am being watched, so I must be very careful what I say.

I am surprised and amazed that no one has commented on the controversy surrounding Schutz's death. While he was tried and convicted after the war, the conviction was in absentia. Some theorize that he was killed by a British Special Weasel Assassination squad which then skinned him and made him into a lovely half-length stole for Mrs. Churchill. This has never been proven, and all records pertaining to SWASs remain protected under the Official Secrets Act. The sharp-eyed will, however, have noted the suspiciously field-gray appearance of Mrs. Major's evening wrap during the 50th Anniversary of VE-Day celebrations.

The notion that he choked on a loose femur while eating his own young has been thoroughly de-bunked by Pelzhändler, although Andreas, in his unmitigable ignorance, no doubt still subscribes to this discredited bit of propaganda.

Although the absence of Schutz's body has provoked any number of crazy stories, the purported sightings in the woods of northern Canada of an ancient, German-muttering chinchilla with a mean streak remain unfounded rumours.

Yes, Professor Doktor Hamster X, I'll get back in my cage now. Just don't put me on the treadmill again...

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Ethan

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Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

[This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 08-12-2000).]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I am surprised and amazed that no one has commented on the controversy surrounding Schutz's death.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> That could be due to the fact that there is ... HELLO ... no controversy! Frankly Eathan (or Eathan Frankly if you prefer), I'm shocked that someone as erudite as you claim to be would fall victim to this most ridiculous of conspiracy theories. Shutz died in the village of his villa from vanilla. He once again showed his true colors (Grey IIRC) and overindulged in vanilla ice cream. Certainly it would be more colorful and all of his admirers (and I count myself as one) would prefer that he died in combat, but it JUST DIDN'T HAPPEN THAT WAY. See Heinrich Schurbohm's definitive work "Die Feldgrau Chinchilla" in which he provides photos of the poor rodent with his muzzle stuck in the remains of a bowl of ice cream. Not pretty, but TRUE.

Joe

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

That could be due to the fact that there is ... HELLO ... no controversy! Frankly Eathan (or Eathan Frankly if you prefer), I'm shocked that someone as erudite as you claim to be would fall victim to this most ridiculous of conspiracy theories. Shutz died in the village of his villa from vanilla. He once again showed his true colors (Grey IIRC) and overindulged in vanilla ice cream. Certainly it would be more colorful and all of his admirers (and I count myself as one) would prefer that he died in combat, but it JUST DIDN'T HAPPEN THAT WAY. See Heinrich Schurbohm's definitive work "Die Feldgrau Chinchilla" in which he provides photos of the poor rodent with his muzzle stuck in the remains of a bowl of ice cream. Not pretty, but TRUE.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yet more propaganda. The actual title of Schurbohm's screed is "Die! Feldgrau Chinchilla, Die, Die, Die!" and was a notorious forgery. Only someone who has slid well down the evolutionary ladder, such as you, "Joe" Shaw, would ever be taken in by such blatant codswallop.

And I want revenge for my Firefly, dangit!

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Ethan

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Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

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Where to begin, I suppose ... at the beginning:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Yet more propaganda. The actual title of Schurbohm's screed is "Die! Feldgrau Chinchilla, Die, Die, Die!" and was a notorious forgery.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Yet another "conspiracy" legend my deluded friend and based upon the slim evidence that the German word "Die" is the same as the English word "Die". However, only a complete cretin (admittedly you qualify) would think that they mean the same thing. In point of fact the German word "Die" means "to expire", while the English word means "to end existence." <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Only someone who has slid well down the evolutionary ladder, such as you, "Joe" Shaw, would ever be taken in by such blatant codswallop.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> First I don't believe in evolution, since I see no evidence of intellectual improvement between Homo Erectus and you. Second, while others may indulge in abuse to animals, I have consistently refused to hit fish.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>And I want revenge for my Firefly, dangit!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Indeed? Then perhaps you might consider the radical course of sending a turn? And that's some kind of nice talk there POTTYMOUTH! There are children reading this board you know ... Andreas for one.

Joe

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Guest Germanboy

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

Where to begin, I suppose ... at the beginning:

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Or not at all, thereby saving you some embarassment, maybe? Both of you have just extolled your base replacement of what would be called knowledge, by a bunch of Kangaroos, maybe.

Obviously the title refers to Prof. Whatshisnames famous exclamation when on a track through Argentina he came across a Chinchilla settlement of field-grey Chinchillas with strange mustaches and Vatican passports, who answered to names like Hans, among them the famous Ace Adolf Galchilla, the commando Otto Skorchilla and the politiciam Martin Borchilla. They were guarded by a bunch of die-hard, dyed in the wool young Chinchilla fanatics. In fact, 'Die Chinchillas (sic) die die die die...' where the last words of the venomous Prof. before he was sent to meet his maker in Hamsterland.

I despise you two for the shallowness of knowledge and absence of insight that you still try to purvey to the unwashed, err, uneducated masses here.

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Andreas

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Obviously the title refers to Prof. Whatshisnames famous exclamation when on a track through Argentina ...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Oh PLEASE, not that old chestnut again? OH! We must be careful, they ALL escaped you know and are just waiting to reform the vaunted 1000 year nest. Bah, in the first place he was on a TREK through Argentina and in the second place this is nothing more than an old wives tale. You simply MUST start talking to younger and unmarried women. Certainly, in your case, it will call for the expenditure of cash but it will be worth it.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>I despise you two for the shallowness of knowledge and absence of insight that you still try to purvey to the unwashed, err, uneducated masses here.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> And that's ALL you despise us for? Eathan, apparently we're making progress. With luck and hard work on our part we may yet progress to the point of simple detestation.

Cup-A-Bra, this is the Chinchilla thread (well at least it is now ... not sure what it was originally), don't try to muscle in with your pathetic, underground dwelling little voles, no one cares. And the 78th was a support unit anyway.

Joe

[This message has been edited by Joe Shaw (edited 08-12-2000).]

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<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Joe Shaw:

[ Bah, in the first place he was on a TREK through Argentina and in the second place this is nothing more than an old wives tale. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Being a seasoned citizen from Utah, no doubt you know a thing or two about old wives...

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Ethan

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Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

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