Peng, I Am Still Taking Our Bloody Challenge Public

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by BlownHouse:

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And NO Bauhaus I didn't say SELF EXPLORATORY.

I bow before you.

The honor of actually being a sig. I'd like to thank the academy...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No need to bow, I'm not in the mood to fondle with you right now...

The Croda in me won't allow that without first knowing what's your pet Totem animal.

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And NO Bauhaus I didn't say SELF EXPLORATORY.

[jshandorf]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

I do believe a final score of 6 is a new Cesspool record.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hey! Doesn't anyone remember?! I beat Mr. Leaks 99 to 1! Geezus... You spank someone good any then brag about it and NO ONE remembers. I see I am going to have to administer many spankings [yes...yes...have a seat, Mr. Bauhaus] before people start remembering my glorious achievements. I think Herr-Obutt knows what I am talking about, don't ya old man?? I am gonna kick that walker out from under you yet. And Chup-pa-dup knows what my fury feels like. I bet he has some favorite stuffed animal he clings to for security when he opens the turns I send him. Probably talks to the little bugger when he plans his moves to.

But I digress...

Hey, Fondle-Me

What's up with the "Sit down, Shandorf" reference? You trying to take away some of Bauhaus' thunder?

[Hakko Ichiu]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by OGSF:

(snip a mickle lot o' greeting wi' the basic Humeian conclusion: if it's nae Scottish it's crap. Oh, and a bonny sing song)

Ah, pox on the lot o ye!

MacOberGrupenBloodyStompinFeuhrerBastard

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

For all of you who wonder why Scotland has sunk so low:

Fareweel to a' our Scottish fame.

Fareweel our ancient glory

Fareweel ev'n to the Scottish name

Sae fam'd in martial story

Now Sark rins o'er the Solway sands

And Tweed rins to the ocean

To mark where England's province stands:

Such a parcel of rogues in a nation.

What force or guile could not subdue

Through many warlike ages

Is wrought now by a coward few

For hireling traitor's wages

The English steel we could disdain

Secure in valour's station

But English gold has been our bane:

Such a parcel of rogues in a nation.

I would, or had I seen the day

That treason thus could sell us

My auld grey head had lain in clay

Wi' Bruce and loyal Wallace!

But pith and power, till my last hour

I'll make this declaration

We're bought and sold for English gold:

Such a parcel of rogues in a nation.

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Ethan

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"We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

[David Aitken]

Whissat?

[Guest Germanboy]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Hakko Ichiu:

For all of you who wonder why Scotland has sunk so low:

The English steel we could disdain

Secure in valour's station<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

One word: Culloden

Great song though.

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Andreas

<a href="http://www.geocities.com/greg_mudry/sturm.html">Der Kessel</a >

Home of „Die Sturmgruppe“; Scenario Design Group for Combat Mission.

[This message has been edited by Germanboy (edited 11-10-2000).]

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PatBoone:

We don't need Grog!

We are fierce historical inaccuracers.

Go out of this Thread, prove your worth by posted non sense and abuse people and come back.

Do somefink!!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Arghhh!! You discovered my darkest secret. I have repented. The other post was the evil grog part of my personality (the anti-Marlow) that I am trying desperately to exercise. I posted, but I didn't inhale. It was a youthful indiscretion...

Nevertheless, I'm not going anywhere. You think it is that easy to get rid of me? I can smell your fear (among other things). Well as the French say, "onward to victory!" No, that’s not right…

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Her Ovaries:

Help! Help! Somebody do something about the outsider. I'm so scared I pissed my panties

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

You worthless piece of bat guano. Are you so little of a man that you must send others in your place to face a challenge. You fancy yourself a Knight of the Pool; however, you seem to me like a (particularly ugly) princess in a tower who must find a champion to do her bidding. A coward who is afraid of the pain and humiliation of being bested by a junior member.

"Oh please don't hurt me Marlow, or if you do, please don't leave any marks, Bauhaus doesn't like to share his toys."

Dare to tilt with me personally, and I will go through your pathetic forces faster than ice tea through Al Gore.

Nevertheless, if you must, in your cowardice, send another do your work. I will grind that squirrel's liver into a fine paste, spread it thickly on your buttocks and let loose a pack of ravenous wolverines.

With regards to your proposed battle, The squires of this pool are so inept that they require Armor to defeat the Sunnyside retirement home shuffleboard team? For shame. It is obvious that your sense of decency is as shriveled and unused as your manhood. I will fight under any conditions, including the sick and twisted battles you proposed; however, I shall not go down quietly. I will slowly torture the unfortunate squire who is hapless enough to draw the short straw and stand in your stead. My old men will die in the longest, most painful, and excruciatingly drawn out manner imaginable. I shall never surrender. Upon seeing my file appear in the inbox, there will be much weeping and gnashing of teeth.

Senility,

I have no time for you. If I wanted any crap from you I would squeeze your head.

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If its stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Seanachai:

[Not sure if he was pretending to be Christopher or Philip; in either case, he forgot the final 'e'.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Seanachai-a-pet,

You illiterate baboon. There is not "e" in the Marlow in question. Dig a little deeper.

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If its stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

[Hakko Ichiu]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by David Aitken:

Whissat?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Parcel of Rogues, Steeleye Span, from the album Parcel of Rogues. Since most of Steeleye's earlier stuff is adaptations of traditional songs, I'm assuming this one comes from something written shortly after the addition of Scotland to the UK in 1710.

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Ethan

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"We forbid any course that says we restrict free speech." -- Dr. Kathleen Dixon, Director of Women's Studies, Bowling Green State University

[jshandorf]

Who is this insipid little mole? Upon my first forays in the pool never did I spew as much as this little pip squeak.

If I recall correctly it was Joe Shaw who commanded (err.. more like asked I guess) Lorak to inscribe my name into the holy tomes of the Cesspool therefore I await by his leave to crush you like the insignificant ant you are. Like a zit on the ass of all Cesspooligans prepare to be squeezed until you pop.

What an annoying little femme.

Jeff

[Herr Oberst]

Originally posted by That Girl:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

You worthless piece of bat guano. Are you so little of a man that you must send others in your place to face a challenge. You fancy yourself a Knight of the Pool;

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Incorrect you snotty-faced pile of parrot droppings! How dare you insinuate that I would aspire to so low a level as that, crawling about limbless among the filth and decay of the Pool.

Such statements do nothing but prove that you are a newbie of the vilest sort. Yes, a newbie! A Rookie, a Cub, a Novice, a Greenhorn, a Wet-behind-the-ears, a Mommy-Please-Powder-My-Bottom (Go a-way Bauhaus, can't you see I'm busy here!) freakin' newbie.

Go forth, and consult the historical scrolls of Pengdom, and when you return, be sure to know of what you blather on and on.

'Twas I who implored Lorak the Loathed to scribe upon the wall of history a third column of outcomes for we peasants. Because you are a newbie, I will forgive that error, but 'tis not true forgivness but rather a sense of, shall we say, "Who gives a rat's ass?" (Goddammit Bauhaus, Please sit until you are called!).

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

however, you seem to me like a (particularly ugly) princess in a tower who must find a champion to do her bidding. A coward who is afraid of the pain and humiliation of being bested by a junior member.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Yet again, your brash youth in Pengishness shows through. I need no chumpion to lose my battles for me. I am currently perfecting the art of setting up the coup de grace, then turning my back, and frittering away the victory.

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

Nevertheless, if you must, in your cowardice, send another do your work. I will grind that squirrel's liver into a fine paste, spread it thickly on your buttocks and let loose a pack of ravenous wolverines.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ahh, but you see... we peasants of the pool have no work. That all falls to the lowest of the low, the Kanniggetts, and what-so-ever unfortunate Squirrels they deign to have battle. We peasants are our own lot, and we like to entertain ourselves by flinging venom, bile and gore (No, not THAT one, at least not until he loses the election) about in the Pool, and seeing who it sticks to the longest.

And finally, I have no need for decency, so go bugger a sheep.

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To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee...

[This message has been edited by Herr Oberst (edited 11-10-2000).]

[Hiram Sedai]

Wooo hoo

You tellem Hairy Opie!!! You da man!! Sho nuff!! You splain to him about how you're not bright enough to be a squire or a knight!! oh yeah Don't let him get away with thinking that Hairy Opie is to be messed with. Baddest man in da whole damn town.

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For the last cheeto, I wrassle with thee.

-Anonymous

[This message has been edited by Hiram Sedai (edited 11-10-2000).]

[Marlow]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Herr Oberst:

How dare you insinuate that I would aspire to so low a level as that, crawling about limbless among the filth and decay of the Pool.

... we peasants of the pool have no work. That all falls to the lowest of the low, the Kanniggetts, and what-so-ever unfortunate Squirrels they deign to have battle.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Herr OpenSore,

I now see the error of my ways. My grievous insult was not intentional. Since you are not of the rank of kanniggett, I no longer consider you beneath my contempt, merely worthy of it.

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If its stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by JDMorse speaking to Marlow:

Pick out a victim as a pride of lions does, concentrating on the weak, except Hiram, he doesn't count.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

He seems to have taken your advice, Morse, he's having a go at Herr Oberst. He even made some attempt at pithy insults, although they were middling, at best. And, of course, he came totally a cropper at the end of his diatribe and posting when he insulted me, in terms that were painfully inadequate. Poor little tyke. Also, he was confused enough to call Oberst a Knight, which he is, of course, nothing of.

And, of course, the reference to Hiram not counting is solely as regards not picking on him for a fight merely because he is the 'nice' squire (which the ignorant equate with weakness). Hiram's own strange, blended personality, not to mention his position as my Squire, ensures that he will always 'count'. Having said that, I'm still waiting for OSGF's ears. My desk presently lacks these essential ornaments, Hiram. What progress?

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 11-10-2000).]

[David Aitken]

Marlow wrote:

> ------------------

> If its stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

... so then if it's not stupid, but still works, does that mean it is stupid? Or does it just stop working?

[Marlow]

Into the darkness a faint, flicking light shines, the dying beam of the intrepid explorer's flashlight. Before a great expanse of dark and malodorous water. It is the cesspool. Legendary home of the Great Knights of the Peng Thread. The explorer has come to seek the wise counsel on the holy game. The Distant shores invisible in the cold mists. The explorer climbs into a weather-beaten old craft that has been left partially beached in the decaying mud of the shore. He pushes off. Silence and the mist enshroud the craft, and lazy bubbles rise from the depths below. What form of foul and monstrous beast lurks in that abyss? After hours that seem like days, the far shore is reached. The ruins of a once great castle loom in the mists. As the explorer approaches the crumbling gates, strange and disturbing sounds fill the air. Out of the shadows lurches a hunched figure. A wizened old man leaning heavily on a crooked staff. In a wavering voice, he addresses the explorer

"Who approaches this damned and accursed place?"

"It is Marlow."

"Marlow, Marlow … A noble name. Why do you venture to these dark lands brave explorer?"

"To seek the guidance of the wise ones: the Knights of the Cesspool."

"Gahh, wise ones indeed! (he totters precariously in his rage) A bunch of self important fools who couldn't find their ass with two hands and a compass is more like it!"

"Calm down old timer, tell me about it. But first, what shall I call you?"

"I am known as Seanachai, Knight of the Cesspool, for the little that is worth."

"I know that name, a Knight of razor wit, but limited military prowess."

"LIMITED MILITARY PROWNESS!!! WHY YOU YOUNG …" (he loses his balance and topples to the ground, then slowly rises and dusts off his shabby clothes) "If I could, I'd kill you for that remark."

"But you did lose to Peng after all."

"(sigh) alas, you speak the truth, I can deny it no more."

"But why do you look so old? you have only been in the pool for a year or so."

"It is the dark energy of the pool. I have become complacent, and have not the strength to resist its power."

"Your strength is gone then; however, you can still advise this young seeker of the true way of CM."

"Alas, young Marlow, I cannot. You see my mind has become as week as my body. I fear that I can be no use to anyone. But my friend, perhaps you could offer me some assistance. I see that you are well provisioned. I would be most greatful for whatever crumbs you could offer."

"I don't think so (he kicks the old man's staff out from under him. The Knight crumples to the ground in a heap) Your feeble mind and body are of no use to me. I can now see the my journey for knowledge must become a quest to cleanse the pool of the old and lame. We need some fresh blood in this place."

The explorer starts towards the castle gate, stepping on the fallen body of the Knight, and walks on without looking back …

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I have no need for decency, so go bugger a sheep - Herr Oberst

[This message has been edited by Marlow (edited 11-10-2000).]

[Malmvig]

Marlow

Had you ever played this game?

Yo seem way too 'young' for posting at this thread - get out amoung the mob and comeback when you are ready.

Malm

[Mark IV]

There is a peculiar buzzing noise in the pool, not significant enough to annoy in itself, with an inflated (i.e., any) sense of self-worth...

Could it be... an impudent insect? The gentle popping of methane bubbles from some pocket of decomposing egesta? Or the birthing cries of some microscopic new life, chipping with its tiny beak at the filthy walls of its birth-pod? A tender little marshmarlow?

Someone roll up a copy of Newsweek and smash it, please. It's Friday and I'm off to Happy Hour, don't want to splash the clean shirt. Ciao.

[Roborat]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

Well, as it happens, David you have hit the nail right on the head.

I am an avid nude skydiver ...edit for length, read the original, you lazy git... and proceeded to area fire me with potatoe salad....

Why do you think I chose the "Stuka" handle, people? Jeez!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Congrats, mr bent wing german sh**hawk wannabe, that was the funniest thing I have read in at least 20 pages, and just when I was starting to lose hope, what with meeks incoherent but always entertaining rants mysteriously disappearing.

Although, I must reiterate however, that this changes nothing between us. I still hate you, and my mighty arctic gophers (white fur, and have longer claws, needed to fight off polar hamsters) hope one day to meet you on the field of battle (note that I didn't say honour, as we all know that this quality is confiscated at the pool gates).

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"With cat-like tread, Upon our prey we steal;

In silence dread, Our cautious way we feel." -G&S

[This message has been edited by Roborat (edited 11-11-2000).]

[This message has been edited by Roborat (edited 11-11-2000).]

[Herr Oberst]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Stuka:

...

I am an avid nude skydiver ...

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Take this as you may, but I have a longtime friend who was an avid skydiver as well.

After several jumps one day, and even more beers, one of the guys at the jump school (podunk little local airport) convinced Robert to dive nude for his last jump of the day. Into the plane, stripped off his clothes, then we rigged him with a static line (due to the beer) and off we went (I was spectating on this one).

Drop zone arrived and Robert jumped over a piece of farmland near the airport. Truth be told, the jumpmaster set him up. Robert jumped nude from 3000 feet into the middle of a biker-gang summer party.

Needless to say, he was the hit of the party.

[David Aitken]

Herr Oberst wrote:

> Robert jumped nude from 3000 feet into the middle of a biker-gang summer party.

I thought that kind of thing only happenend in nightmares...

[David Aitken]

Ah, now I know why I'm paranoid and teetotal.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Marlow:

Seanachai-a-pet,

You illiterate baboon. There is not "e" in the Marlow in question. Dig a little deeper.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Oh, please. You've come into the Cesspool, and you're claiming roots in "Heart of Darkness"? That's bloody near unpardonable hubris. Be careful, in your journey upriver. Should you actually arrive at your destination in the heart of Schloss Peng, it will be you brokenly crying 'the horror, the horror!'.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[PawBroon]

After weeks of inept postings and mind boggling eMails from the Shag'O'Matic, our game just ended with a Draw.

I did close to nothing on this game and Truth is, it was almost too much for that Son of a Bleat.

For those lacking the will to go do a search on any of Bleat It posts (and God knows that must be the whole lot of us) here is how it started:

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>

I feel it is time I challenge the vile and surilous PawBroon. The time for revenge in mortal combat for the sleight against our nation in the bombing of the Rainbow Warrior back in 84' must be avenged!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Try harder next time...

And thanks to your nerves raking personality, now I know that I'm fit for the Survivor thingy they'll do in France any time soon.

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And NO Bauhaus I didn't say SELF EXPLORATORY.

[Seanachai]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Malmvig:

Seanachai wrote:

Spoken like a gentleman! Come to my arms, my beamish boy!

This is not the way to start a fight! I thought yo know better than this!

You could at least had said something like this:

Well that's just fine, you drunken Danish git. How dare yo enter the portal of pure wisdom! I put you degenerated Viking up for a challange and this time you may which you had been sober! Bloody amateur!

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Ah, good, there's that drunken Dane. I don't think we've had that many of you degenerate descendants of the once great Viking raiders here in the pool, so I chose to welcome you originally in a way that wouldn't send you fleeing back to your dinghies and sculling your way north again while weeping and complaining of the harshness of strangers, like some latter-day Scandinavian Blanche Dubois.

We are not, of course, compeletely bereft of the company of squareheads, as Geier is a Swede, but I cannot say too much about Geier, as he thoroughly thrashed me in a PBEM (I was able, of course, to stave off anything like the now legendary 'Chupacabra Loss', which I understand some other poor fool has recently achieved (was it Moriarity? I hope so, it would serve him right for choosing 'random weather' in our current game).

But I digress. My purpose here, now that we know you won't shame your warriour anscestry with personal displays of whinging and buggering off, is to welcome you in an appropriate way to this, the Cesspool, the Peng Challenge Thread, you Carlsberg spraying, knuckle-dragging dreg of a once great people.

Now, I know that recently I made a statement that nationality was of little importance here in the Peng Challenge Thread, but as I am from Minnesota, and our local landscape is overrun with the immigrant get of people like Geier and Malmvig, I occassionaly must make a personal exception, and vent spleen on those who remained behind in the Old Country (doubtless because emmigrating was too complicated, so they remained crouching in the snow and darkness, trying to remember how one went about pillaging). Here, a man can't make his way down to the Pub without tripping over dozens of Danes, Norwegians, and Swedes, standing in little groups, laughing vapidly, and attempting to form Lutheran brotherhoods. Feh.

Anyway, Malmvig, I make due note of your sloshing about, and fear not, if we do have tea, we shall be pouring ale into your cup, so as to keep your chemical intake up to a level that allows you to function in a semi-coherent, Scandinavian sort of way.

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After witnessing exceptional bravery from his Celtic mercenaries, Alexander the Great called them to him and asked if there was anything they feared. They told him nothing, except that the sky might fall on their heads.

[This message has been edited by Seanachai (edited 11-11-2000).]

[PawBroon]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Schloss Penged:

You've come into the Cesspool, and you're claiming roots in "Heart of Darkness"?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Don't get me wrong but aren't we going a bit downhill lately?

I mean, we already got ourselves women, and I have almost nothing against them evil whatnots.

Fact is, I am very much into them...

But now we even start to attract loonies with some educational background.

We are no friggin Buena Vista Social Club!

Behold Sparrow for not only are you a Grog but your offensive reference to something however remotely intelectual will get us accused of literacy and will spin the Pool into a world of easy quoting and Ichiu-like Haikus.

I can already feel a tremor in the Force.

It's coming and I can't help it.

"Anything approaching the change that came over his features I have never seen before, and hope never to see again. Oh, I wasn't touched. I was fascinated. It was as though a veil had been rent. I saw on that ivory face the expression of sombre pride, of ruthless power, of craven terror, of an intense and hopeless despair. Did he live his life again in every detail of desire, temptation, and surrender during that supreme moment of complete knowledge? He cried in a whisper at some image, at some vision, he cried out twice, a cry that was no more than a breath:

The horror! The horror!"

Arghhhhhhhhh.

What have you done to me?!

The Croda in me always thought Conrad was a former federal agent who ducked it out with the Japs in a flying metal horse named Corsair.

Get the hell out of here!

Go write an essay about the joy of being gyrostabilized or whatever it is you pesky buggers do with idle time.

As the Great Hippie Philosopher who once posted in here would say:

Dye a Lot now...

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And NO Bauhaus I didn't say SELF EXPLORATORY.

[This message has been edited by PawBroon (edited 11-11-2000).]