Guest tom w Posted April 24, 2000 Share Posted April 24, 2000 The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phase in plan that would be known as "EuroEnglish." In the first year, S will replace the soft C. Sertainly this will make the sivil servant jump with joy. The hard C will be dropped in favor of the K. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome PH will be replaced with the F. This will make words like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent Es in the language is disgraseful and that they should go away. By the fourth yar peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing TH with Z and W with V. During ze fifth yar, ze unesesary O kan be dropd from vords kontaining OU and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Madmatt Posted April 24, 2000 Share Posted April 24, 2000 My god that was beautiful! Bravo! Madmatt... ------------------ If it's in Combat Mission, it's on Combat Mission HQ! combathq.thegamers.net Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PanzerShark Posted April 24, 2000 Share Posted April 24, 2000 I surely hope those letters will not disapear from the keyboard...it's my Quake-setup Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Juju Posted April 24, 2000 Share Posted April 24, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by tom w: After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> you're not German by any chance are you? ------------------ Juju Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tom w Posted April 24, 2000 Share Posted April 24, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Juju: you're not German by any chance are you? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> No, I'm Canadian if British Descent But I did think that was SO funny I should share it with all of you! -tom w Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Speedy Posted April 24, 2000 Share Posted April 24, 2000 Windows 2005 will have to have a choice of 10 different Englishes now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crossfire Posted April 26, 2000 Share Posted April 26, 2000 It makes perfect sense to me. Finally spelling would make sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ol' Blood & Guts Posted April 26, 2000 Share Posted April 26, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Finally spelling would make sense.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I have to jump in here, being the asshole I am. If that was the case, someone should tell the French that. God, I have never seen a language where the actual spelling of a word is just a "suggestion" rather than the rule on how it is prounounced. For example, Benoit? ------------------ "Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." --Jedi Master Yoda [This message has been edited by Ol' Blood & Guts (edited 04-25-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest MantaRay Posted April 26, 2000 Share Posted April 26, 2000 Guess you haven't seen ebonics eh? Ray ------------------ MantaRays 5 Pages Hardcore Gamers Daily Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colin Posted April 26, 2000 Share Posted April 26, 2000 ben-oy-it? bean-wha? ah well..doesn't matter I actually do know how to pronounce it though. I hafta take french is school. Damn school! ------------------ Visit my webpage! http://cm4mac.tripod.com Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crossfire Posted April 26, 2000 Share Posted April 26, 2000 In languages such as Polish, Russian, Greek every letter (or 2 letter combination) has a sound associated with it. In these languages you can read any word correctly by sounding the letters out. (Please pardon my spelling Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artmann Posted April 26, 2000 Share Posted April 26, 2000 Ok, If that was the case, someone should tell the French that. God, I have never seen a language where the actual spelling of a word is just a "suggestion" rather than the rule on how it is prounounced. For example, Benoit? I'm not a dedicaced linguist but what I could say is that the so call "suggestion" may comes from these : - French have many voyels, you know a e i o u, but you also have an, en, on, etc ... They are called 'nasals' (from nose) if I remembered well ... - some voyels are composite (I think they are called diphtongue ) when you say them, oi is for something like "oo aa" ; - French use a lot of mute letters, for a lot of reason, some historical("étymologie"). So in Benoit you dont care to tell the final t (but also you care to write it, unless you are very very low in french grammar and spelling). - and also there is the accent (those little signs over some voyels, which made for brand new sounds from the original). So 'e' 'é' 'è' and 'ê' are not heard the same way. BTW, they were some tries to 'simplify' the spelling of french (accent removing, less mute letter and so on). It was a complete failure. On the contrary, they were law enforcement on the public use of french in commercial products, like software and game software. This was a success. And moreover, they are not so much english talker, and about german it's worse. Regards ARn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PanzerLeader Posted April 26, 2000 Share Posted April 26, 2000 Aah, French may be a difficult language but it is also the most varied, beautiful, etc. BTW I really think that English is much more difficult to pronounce corrrectly for the newbie, from the spelling. "a cow", "a row"...Same letters, yet you don't pronounce the same way! "death", "mean"...etc The most difficult language to learn has got to be Latin though. I've been studying it 5 years now and still cannot read Cicero or Cesar... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tss Posted April 26, 2000 Share Posted April 26, 2000 Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Oh no, how could we then disambiguate between words: "tule", "tulee", "tuule", "tuulee", "tuulle", "tullee", and "tuullee"? Note: all but one of the above words are grammatically correct Finnish words that each have a different meaning. Ten points to the one who can spot the incorrect word. (The last word in the series, "tulle", is so un-Finnish that I didn't include it in the list since it would have been too easy to spot..) In languages such as Polish, Russian, Greek every letter (or 2 letter combination) has a sound associated with it. In these languages you can read any word correctly by sounding the letters out. That holds for Finnish too and it is a very nice property a language can have. Of course, pronouncing the Finnish sounds corrctly seem to be quite difficult to foreigners, but at least they usually pronounce them consistently wrong. (To the day I have met only one foreigner that I didn't immedietely recognize as a non-native speaker by his accent, and he was a professional actor that had been in Finland for about a decade). Of course, this holds also to the other direction and I usually can identify Finns who speak English with no problems. - Tommi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gen. Sosaboski Posted April 26, 2000 Share Posted April 26, 2000 I love it! ------------------ Sosabowski, 1st Pol. Abn. Yes, I know my name is spelled wrong as a member! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iggi Posted April 26, 2000 Share Posted April 26, 2000 Wow, the way the english changed really brought out how it is related to german. I'm surprised the French will allow a EuroEnglish to dominate. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Scott Clinton Posted April 26, 2000 Share Posted April 26, 2000 Hell, 'Fer what its wuth, none of yall talk right 'nuf fer us'ins in Texas! ------------------ Please note: The above is solely the opinion of 'The Grumbling Grognard' and reflects no one else's views but his own. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PanzerLeader Posted April 27, 2000 Share Posted April 27, 2000 tss, I may have the answer though I'm not sure. Could it be "tullee"? I can't quite figure out what it could mean! (I speak a bit of Finnish, my mother being a Finn.) I know all these word relate to the verb "to come" and to the wind... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Ol' Blood & Guts Posted April 27, 2000 Share Posted April 27, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by iggi: Wow, the way the english changed really brought out how it is related to german. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Hmmm, just a quick note.... The English language IS a Germanic language. Forgot exactly where I heard that first, seems like it was the History Channel though. [This message has been edited by Ol' Blood & Guts (edited 04-26-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
von Lucke Posted April 27, 2000 Share Posted April 27, 2000 <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Ol' Blood & Guts: The English language IS a Germanic language. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> The word "English" comes from Anglish, which comes from the Angles, who (along with the Saxons and the Jutes) invaded the soggy island that has forever borne their name sometime around 450 AD. And yes, they where all of Germanic origin. The "English" language however, bears little resemblance to the Germanic tongue it is named for. Mostly because England has been over-run by just about every tribesman with a yen to go adventuring since the first proto-Celt washed ashore on a raft made from bark and sheep-bladders: You got yer Celtic tribes (who later became the Welsh and Scots), being displaced by the Romans, who got over-run by the aforementioned Anglo-Saxon hordes, who got walloped by the Danes, who were later taken out by a bunch of local farmers who are probably best described as proto-English. Then the Normans show up (bloody Franco-Vikings!)... Is it any wonder that "English" is the most adaptive language around? Because it's a bastard tongue that's already a mutant strain of all the others! PS: While I'm on the subject of language: Did you know that the Continental Congress (this is US History now!) back in 1780-something narrowly missed making German the official language of the new-formed US? Missed out by 1 vote! Ein! (After the Brits, the Germans have always been the next most numerous European percentage in the US). Now mull over the historical possibilities that one vote changed... [This message has been edited by von Lucke (edited 04-27-2000).] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tss Posted April 27, 2000 Share Posted April 27, 2000 PanzerLeader wrote: tss, I may have the answer though I'm not sure. Could it be "tullee"? A near miss. "Tullee" is definitely a very rare form and I personally wouldn't use it in everyday speech. I have no idea what would be the correct English grammatical term for the form, but it means: "is probably coming". The incorrect word was "tuulle". It sounds like a valid Finnish word but actually it has no meaning. (At least, not any that I know about, it is possible that the word means something in some dialect). - Tommi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endit Posted April 27, 2000 Share Posted April 27, 2000 outstanding post, I think some cleaning up to the english language it long awaited by everyone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Posted April 27, 2000 Share Posted April 27, 2000 Funny post and amazing to see our elected leaders playing I-can-make-the-dumbest-decision-of-all-time. If that's happen why not speak Martian like in the movie Mars attacks. At least it is not as dumb as what the politicians decided. Artmann : excellent post. As a Swiss, living in the French speaking part, I would like to add that we should not try respelling words because there is a background, a history, a reason behing every single word you write. In French at least. And it is so beautiful like this. Why change ? BTW knowing 2-4 different language (not all of them very well) I think that the most beautiful one is French and second Italian. Those two sing like the birds in the early morning. Of course if you want to give order, choose German, it is much better suited. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest mch Posted April 27, 2000 Share Posted April 27, 2000 This brings to mind a bad(but kinda funny) joke I heard.(WARNING:this joke contains many silly euro. stereotypes!) What is Heaven? the English are in charge of hospitality the french are in charge of food the germans are in charge of law&order the italians are in charge of fun&games. What is Hell? the FRENCH are in charge of hospitality the ENGLISH are in charge of food the ITALIANS are in charge of law&order and,the GERMANS are in charge of fun&games ------------------ Horrido! michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest tom w Posted April 27, 2000 Share Posted April 27, 2000 Good Joke made me smile LOL thanks -tom w What is Hell? the FRENCH are in charge of hospitality the ENGLISH are in charge of food the ITALIANS are in charge of law&order and,the GERMANS are in charge of fun&games Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts