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O/T Just for fun :-)

Guest tom w

By Guest tom w
in Combat Mission Archive #2 (2000)

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Guest tom w

Guest tom w

Posted
Posted

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English

will be the official language of the EU rather than German, which was

the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's

Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement

and has accepted a five-year phase in plan that would be known as

"EuroEnglish."

In the first year, S will replace the soft C. Sertainly this will make

the sivil servant jump with joy. The hard C will be dropped in favor of

the K. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less

letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when

the troublesome PH will be replaced with the F. This will make words

like "fotograf" 20 persent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse

of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more

komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have

always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the

horible mes of the silent Es in the language is disgraseful and that

they should go away.

By the fourth yar peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing TH

with Z and W with V. During ze fifth yar, ze unesesary O kan be dropd

from vords kontaining OU and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to

ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no

mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech

ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!

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Juju Senior Member

Juju

Posted
Posted

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by tom w:

After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no

mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech

ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

you're not German by any chance are you? biggrin.gif

------------------

Juju

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Guest tom w

Guest tom w

Posted
Posted

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Juju:

you're not German by any chance are you? biggrin.gif

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

No, I'm Canadian if British Descent

But I did think that

was SO funny

I should share it with all of you!

-tom w

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Guest Ol' Blood & Guts

Guest Ol' Blood & Guts

Posted
Posted

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Finally spelling would make sense.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I have to jump in here, being the asshole I am. wink.gif

If that was the case, someone should tell the French that. God, I have never seen a language where the actual spelling of a word is just a "suggestion" rather than the rule on how it is prounounced. rolleyes.gif

For example, Benoit? biggrin.gif

------------------

"Fear is the path to the Dark Side.

Fear leads to anger.

Anger leads to hate.

Hate leads to suffering."

--Jedi Master Yoda

[This message has been edited by Ol' Blood & Guts (edited 04-25-2000).]

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Artmann Junior Member

Artmann

Posted
Posted

Ok,

If that was the case, someone should tell the French that. God, I have never seen a language where the actual spelling of a word is just a "suggestion" rather than the rule on how it is prounounced.

For example, Benoit?

I'm not a dedicaced linguist but what I could say is that the so call "suggestion" may comes from these :

- French have many voyels, you know a e i o u, but you also have an, en, on, etc ...

They are called 'nasals' (from nose) if I remembered well ...

- some voyels are composite (I think they are called diphtongue ) when you say them, oi is for something like "oo aa" ;

- French use a lot of mute letters, for a lot of reason, some historical("étymologie"). So in Benoit you dont care to tell the final t (but also you care to write it, unless you are very very low in french grammar and spelling).

- and also there is the accent (those little signs over some voyels, which made for brand new sounds from the original). So 'e' 'é' 'è' and 'ê' are not heard the same way.

BTW, they were some tries to 'simplify' the spelling of french (accent removing, less mute letter and so on). It was a complete failure.

On the contrary, they were law enforcement on the public use of french in commercial products, like software and game software. This was a success.

And moreover, they are not so much english talker, and about german it's worse.

Regards

ARn

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PanzerLeader Senior Member

PanzerLeader

Posted
Posted

Aah, French may be a difficult language but it is also the most varied, beautiful, etc. smile.gif

BTW I really think that English is much more difficult to pronounce corrrectly for the newbie, from the spelling.

"a cow", "a row"...Same letters, yet you don't pronounce the same way!

"death", "mean"...etc

The most difficult language to learn has got to be Latin though. I've been studying it 5 years now and still cannot read Cicero or Cesar...

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tss Senior Member

tss

Posted
Posted

Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Oh no, how could we then disambiguate between words: "tule", "tulee", "tuule", "tuulee", "tuulle", "tullee", and "tuullee"?

Note: all but one of the above words are grammatically correct Finnish words that each have a different meaning. Ten points to the one who can spot the incorrect word. (The last word in the series, "tulle", is so un-Finnish that I didn't include it in the list since it would have been too easy to spot..)

In languages such as Polish, Russian, Greek every letter (or 2 letter combination) has a sound associated with it. In these languages you can read any word correctly by sounding the letters out.

That holds for Finnish too and it is a very nice property a language can have. Of course, pronouncing the Finnish sounds corrctly seem to be quite difficult to foreigners, but at least they usually pronounce them consistently wrong. (To the day I have met only one foreigner that I didn't immedietely recognize as a non-native speaker by his accent, and he was a professional actor that had been in Finland for about a decade).

Of course, this holds also to the other direction and I usually can identify Finns who speak English with no problems.

- Tommi

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Guest Scott Clinton

Guest Scott Clinton

Posted
Posted

Hell,

'Fer what its wuth, none of yall talk right 'nuf fer us'ins in Texas! wink.gif

------------------

Please note: The above is solely the opinion of 'The Grumbling Grognard' and reflects no one else's views but his own.

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Guest Ol' Blood & Guts

Guest Ol' Blood & Guts

Posted
Posted

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by iggi:

Wow, the way the english changed really brought out how it is related to german.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Hmmm, just a quick note....

The English language IS a Germanic language. eek.gif

Forgot exactly where I heard that first, seems like it was the History Channel though. wink.gif

[This message has been edited by Ol' Blood & Guts (edited 04-26-2000).]

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von Lucke Senior Member

von Lucke

Posted
Posted

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Ol' Blood & Guts:

The English language IS a Germanic language. eek.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

The word "English" comes from Anglish, which comes from the Angles, who (along with the Saxons and the Jutes) invaded the soggy island that has forever borne their name sometime around 450 AD. And yes, they where all of Germanic origin.

The "English" language however, bears little resemblance to the Germanic tongue it is named for. Mostly because England has been over-run by just about every tribesman with a yen to go adventuring since the first proto-Celt washed ashore on a raft made from bark and sheep-bladders: You got yer Celtic tribes (who later became the Welsh and Scots), being displaced by the Romans, who got over-run by the aforementioned Anglo-Saxon hordes, who got walloped by the Danes, who were later taken out by a bunch of local farmers who are probably best described as proto-English. Then the Normans show up (bloody Franco-Vikings!)...

Is it any wonder that "English" is the most adaptive language around? Because it's a bastard tongue that's already a mutant strain of all the others!

PS: While I'm on the subject of language: Did you know that the Continental Congress (this is US History now!) back in 1780-something narrowly missed making German the official language of the new-formed US? Missed out by 1 vote! Ein! (After the Brits, the Germans have always been the next most numerous European percentage in the US). Now mull over the historical possibilities that one vote changed...

[This message has been edited by von Lucke (edited 04-27-2000).]

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tss Senior Member

tss

Posted
Posted

PanzerLeader wrote:

tss, I may have the answer though I'm not sure. Could it be "tullee"?

A near miss. "Tullee" is definitely a very rare form and I personally wouldn't use it in everyday speech. I have no idea what would be the correct English grammatical term for the form, but it means: "is probably coming".

The incorrect word was "tuulle". It sounds like a valid Finnish word but actually it has no meaning. (At least, not any that I know about, it is possible that the word means something in some dialect).

- Tommi

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Jeff Senior Member

Jeff

Posted
Posted

Funny post and amazing to see our elected leaders playing I-can-make-the-dumbest-decision-of-all-time.

If that's happen why not speak Martian like in the movie Mars attacks. At least it is not as dumb as what the politicians decided.

Artmann : excellent post. As a Swiss, living in the French speaking part, I would like to add that we should not try respelling words because there is a background, a history, a reason behing every single word you write. In French at least. And it is so beautiful like this. Why change ?

BTW knowing 2-4 different language (not all of them very well) I think that the most beautiful one is French and second Italian. Those two sing like the birds in the early morning. Of course if you want to give order, choose German, it is much better suited.

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Guest mch

Guest mch

Posted
Posted

This brings to mind a bad(but kinda funny)

joke I heard.(WARNING:this joke contains many

silly euro. stereotypes!)

What is Heaven?

the English are in charge of hospitality

the french are in charge of food

the germans are in charge of law&order

the italians are in charge of fun&games.

What is Hell?

the FRENCH are in charge of hospitality

the ENGLISH are in charge of food

the ITALIANS are in charge of law&order

and,the GERMANS are in charge of fun&games

------------------

Horrido!

michael

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Guest tom w

Guest tom w

Posted
Posted

Good Joke

made me smile LOL

thanks

-tom w

What is Hell?

the FRENCH are in charge of hospitality

the ENGLISH are in charge of food

the ITALIANS are in charge of law&order

and,the GERMANS are in charge of fun&games

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