I do find it also very difficult to play H2H real time; A "show all fire lines" like in CM1 would be very useful so we don't have to click one by one all mortars, spotters, Mg's etc every time. It's very easy to miss them when doing an area target.
One thing that IMHO would improve the game enormously would be to create a colour code for the icons to check for morale, physical condition, number of casualties, ammunition, etc. click on morale for example and OK units have green icons, nervous yellow, panic red. that would help : )
In CM1 we had the option of showing the units bigger; I used that a lot to give me an idea of where the action was happening in big battles, you could see a unit covering or shooting immediately that way, in CMBN takes much longer.
My experience in multiplayer is that the lack of visual clues (and sound clues as well, since many weapons share sounds) make it go very chaotic very quickly: You want to advance a platoon, you can't select the whole platoon and give them an order of moving without having to go squad by squad and give them a waypoint, while you're doing this, enemy artillery is falling somewhere else you go there and get your units out of the area, in the meantime the platoon you were moving previously has become separated you get them together again if nothing else happens for a bit.
I think CMBN right now is a real time game with a turn-based UI.
Enemy contacts not seen by the player, disappearing in nanoseconds and creating an unclickable icon does not help either.