Simon Elwen

Andreas , will you be there tommorrow ? , Thursdays are your usual day ? Simon

Meeting loads of likeminded people to play CM in real life , the BFC crew , etc would be a lot of fun .

Hello Everybody Do you remember the time I crushed Boo 89-11 ?, well I'm not here to tell you about that , but about the time I crushed Harv 71-29 ,well I was only an hour ago , so its only fair that I should share this news with you all . Yet again his forces have managed to pull defeat from the jaws of victory . Of course this state of affairs cannot continue , he will receive another setup tommorrow .

I would like to see 'hasty' barricades that engineers cold destroy with demo charges , as well as the usual ones . Also I would like to see a greater variety of bunkers , without overhead protection , a larger choice of weapons inside them . Come to think of it what about squad bunkers too .

A quotation from "Take these Men" by Cyril Joly which you may find intresting "It was at Machili , just before we entered the foothills of he Gebel that Templeton failed to spot a small Italian 20mm Anti Tank gun which was dug in on his flank . The first indication he had of its presence was the sharp clang of a hit by its very high velocity shot , a gush of flame and fumes which seemed to pass across the turret , just missing his knees , and a further clash of metal as the shot went out the farther side of the turret . For a moment there was silence . Then from inside he heard the startled horrified voice of his gunner shouting hysterically "For god's sake , sir 'ave a look at Clements . 'E's been 'it good an' proper, an' 'e's spewing blood all over the ******* place" . When Templeton looked he saw the operator spawled on the floor of the turret with blood pouring from a huge hole in his throat. As he watched , the last spasms of life crossed the face of the dying man , and with a croak he died . That had been bad enough , but clearing the mess from the turret had been torture of the worst kind . And since our tanks were then much depleted in numbers he had to go on in the damaged tank , with the holes on each side a constant reminder and warning for some days ." The unit was using A10's at the time . Templeton was later killed which was attributed to his loss of nerve/morale .

Evening All . My My a couple of days at work and nearly a whole thread to wade through , a couple of new lads in the dorm too . Updatery A J as if have myopic old men on my side wern't enough he shoots smoke at them too . Harv fun in the fog this ain't Lurk He has resumed his advances towards me , I'm shy and retiring though Lars This is a tough fight , time to smoke em out Noba Glorious defeat will be his again hehehe The Capt I have repulsed his first advances towards me because I'm shy and retiring I wonder why OGSF is waving his urine sample about ? Only he knows I suppose . If I owe anyone a turn , I owe them a turn , I'm sure you will let me know in the nicest possible way

77.56 my trusty calculator tells me

Maybe because it's one of the better verbal sparing partners here lately? Hmmm?</font>

Good evening one and all . I hope your all well and happy . Heres the news Harv is lost in the fog so I'm showing him the way with some artillery shells Noba hehe Lurk I fire a shell he runs away , he comes back , I fire a shell he runs away etc etc etc Lars The slogging match part of this is about to begin , its still too early to call The Capt Still too early too call on this one as well , though I note he has been preoccupied with self abuse , alcohol and psychoanalysis recently . Even the gentle lady folk of Cess have noticed the state he is in . How come Moriarty and R Leete are so interested in the door ? , they never used to be .

for Joe Shaw two things 1 a , 2 Your knowledge of all things Canukian , are you harbouring a deep , dark and dirty secret ? are you a canadian ? .

Afternoon Monkeys A report to Sir Mace that Saskatchewan has been laid waste , Farmer Harv's crops burnt his people driven into the wilderness and his flocks are ours . He was of course crushed and left to wander the wastelands to look for his master who has decamped to Denver with all possible haste to take up with a lapdancing hippy chimp trekkie thing . Other stuff , The ether has finally given up on hanging onto Lurks turn and a reply is on its way

Afternoon boys/girls and others , whats going on here then ? Has the Donk inflated more than he can chew , will he become a lady's lunch ? hehe, don't miss the next thrilling episode . I see that bitter paternity battle is over too . The Capt probably got the parent he deserved hehe although I note he is actually receiving instuction from Fionn elsewhere . Some updatery: Noba He KO'ed my tanks ,Now I KO his tanks Harv Wee.. BOOM.. incoming.. Bang. ,thats me that is , Arrg run away , thats him that is . Lars keeping my burial squad busy with his men Lurk Seems to have dissappeared , is he in detox , therapy or both ?. Capt Too early too comment on yet . Have a nice day one and all.

Afternoon boys/girls and others , whats going on here then ? Has the Donk inflated more than he can chew , will he become a lady's lunch ? hehe, don't miss the next thrilling episode . I see that bitter paternity battle is over too . The Capt probably got the parent he deserved hehe although I note he is actually receiving instuction from Fionn elsewhere . Some updatery: Noba He KO'ed my tanks ,Now I KO his tanks Harv Wee.. BOOM.. incoming.. Bang. ,thats me that is , Arrg run away , thats him that is . Lars keeping my burial squad busy with his men Lurk Seems to have dissappeared , is he in detox , therapy or both ?. Capt Too early too comment on yet . Have a nice day one and all.

Good Evening all , welcome . So what have we here today Ohh look an ijut in a bush , I think its shy , It won't come out to play . A J oh woe how did he pull out a minor defeat , cos he is a bastiche , bastiche and a bastishe , I hates him forever and ever . Lars ho hum , its my church and its staying mine mine mine . Everybody else , a turn would be nice execept for Harpo who knows how to , the nasty man . Are nearly there yet ? we must be near the top by now .

Goodness What a busy day . Note to Sir Mace Sheep pen raked sheep crutched Fluffy deflyed Flock dedagged Fence repaired Sword polished and sharpened Lady Kitty's litter tray topped up The too warm beer disposed of 'hic' The too cold beer disposed of ''belch' tell Lord Berli he is evil he likes that . "You are EVIL oh great one" . Oh there's more , The 3 stooges........ Captain Queeg Milan ? Frankfurt ? Death in Venice for you , Make your choice The Shirker Pay attention to your masters quest You are to be green Ami's Or old Volks , I can be whatever I like , Make your choice. Farmer Harvthe one from Saskatchewan , the place that sounds like the criminal offence it ought to be . I will sow you lands with salt . Your flocks will be mine . Make your choice . Even added together the above don't make one stooge , Still to all they will have the shame of victory thrust upon them . They will be mocked and scorned by men . Women will shun them and the children throw stones at them , every door will be closed against them , their masters will turn away from them and they will be outcast , for defeat is mine . and just enough time to have five minutes staring at my masters sheep costume before bed

Hell's fire! That is not something you want to say to Mace!</font>

Morning all , I slept well last night and feel refreshed renewed and restored . I wonder why ? Ugh I've been squired in the night . Is there anything you want me to do Master ?

Thanks for a great Demo guys I planned to steamroller the Low Countries and France and then turn East asap and it worked like a charm . As soon as I had Paris surrounded I started moving all available units to the border and also embarked 2 Armies 1 Corps and Rommel who I puchased to sail up the Baltic . With the Fall of France I purchased 2 airfleets and 3 Panzer groups and then lined up on the border as fast as possible with all the armour to the north of the pripet marsh region. After declaring war I attacked the Baltic fleet with both KM units reducing it to 2 and landed the invasion force to attack Leningrad from the south . Army group North went ramming into the russian forces at Minsk with the Luftwaffe in support . Army group south concentrated on the Russian unit to the southeast of Kiev. On the next turn Finland came in with me and Leningrad was surrounded . I was able reduce and capture the city in the last turn , having Rommel there really helped . What made all the difference was the AI which decided to advance the force north of Minsk to Riga and save up its MPP's to buy Zhukov The armoured spearheads bypassed Smolensk and headed straight to Moscow to deliver the knockout blow , follow up troops captured Minsk and threatened Smolensk . Army group south advanced on Kiev , when the Roumanians etc joined in they were tasked with isolating Odessa . I just managed to surround Moscow on the next to last turn , and attacked with a couple of panzer groups which reduced the garrison to 8 . Followup units emptied Smolensk and I got a Corps unit to march through the city which gave it to me , then I had an Air group transport to the city . On the last turn I was able to capure Leningrad and Rommel himself entered the city . With Moscow surrounded I attacked with the Luftwaffe and every available tank unit and with the next last unit I emptied the city My last unit moved in . Hooray Victroy is mine ! but no Stalin zoomed off to the Urals to carry on the fight and I ran out of turns

Oh there's more I beat Boo 89-11 Ijuts come back grr , but he will go away or get made serf don't care which did I mention I beat Boo 89-11 Little Bo Mace had a lamb and A J had it for lunch hehe remind me to tell everyone about the time I beat Boo 89-11

So here we are again eh my updates etc Boo I beats him fair and square 89 to 11 hehe A J He's going to win and ruin his prized record of defeats hehe Lars tried to come to my church and didn't hehe Noba He's winning too hehe Lurker got made a squire hehe that is funny ijut gone away hooray The Capt even one of the gods told him hehe So I still maintain my place as the SSN and Sherpa , good .

The George looks like the venue for the beers , all we need now is a date and a few laptops . It looks like something between the 8th to 12th July would fit in nicely for all , how does that sound to everyone ?.

You know, Simon, everything about you is so stereotypically British, that I begin to suspect something. Name? "Simon Elwen" That pasty combination of coal digging and Tolkien that screams to be tagged to the little boy in short pants who says smart things to his pained teachers on rainy afternoons while London is being bombed. Location? "Tunbridge Wells, England" "Tunbridge Wells" is so British-sounding that I refuse to believe it really exists outside of a Douglas Adams "the editor suggested I leave these parts out" pile. Occupation? "Idle loafer" The only place that knows more than the UK about idle loafing is, well, France. And you didn't mention anything about a beret. Quite frankly I think you're probably an Australian. Only an Australian would put so much effort into being British that he'd end up being an Australian again.</font>

I got 10 cents , DANCE dalek DANCE like you never did before

Because I'm drunk thats why A J HAH he's winning and he hates winning Boo a noble casualty of war Noba I hates him with all my spleen Lars I might hate him I probably will Half where did he come from that spawn , go back there CM Plonker A swede = A vegetable lurkalot and ijut SOD OFF I'M the ssn around here so SOD OFF And whats all this plying for trade like a bunch of olde has been tarts .

It's simple, Simon....... I'm getting a "message is delayed" response for your e-mail addy. Only yours, mind. So hop to it, lad - mend the bugger before too many aeons have passed, eh?? Then we can up the ante, as it were....... AJ</font>