Dave H

This was going so well, and then took a positively nasty turn. :eek: Okay, Teddy Bear Windsor, since I'm almost finished losing a couple of my PBEMs, consider yourself slapped on the cheeks (only the ones on your face, maggot) and challenged. Name your terms, sir. QB or scenario, but please no meeting engagements, unless you want one with no victory flags. :cool: By the way, how's the Queen doing on the 50'th anniversary of her coronation?

[serious] Jim, that is wonderful news about your wife. I wish we lived closer together so I could offer more than moral support. [/serious] Now, as Soddball so eloquently stated in a series of grunts and howls, this is really not a so-called Challenge thread. A number of challenges do take place, but this is truly the Cheap Shots at MasterGoodale (the maggot) thread. Other regulars will take their lumps from time to time, but the unifying theme is definitely to pile onto MasterGoodale (the maggot) as much as possible. Anybody who is "serious" about their CMBB gaming should really look somewhere else for the more anal players.

Trust me, maggot, I believe I just found them. AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! :eek: :mad:

No turns from me tonight, maggots. The reason is: Because I didn't feel like it. Maybe tomorrow you'll all find out about the latest death and destruction you've caused. Or maybe not. Did I mention you're all maggots? That includes those of you I'm playing now, those of you I've played before, those of you Waffleheads I've never played, those of you reading this thread who don't post here, and everyone else who will never read this. It even includes members like Mike the wino2, who is only a figment of the imagination of a real maggot in California who confuses tanks with armored cars. So there!! :mad: :mad:

I think your daddy has a lot of explaining to do. :eek: Did he also teach you how not to send turns for weeks at a time? :confused:

Fellow lunatics of the Cheery Waffle threads, we are facing a serious problem. One of our number, a Canuck by the name of Axe2121, is approaching his wedding day very soon. I say it would be a gesture of our friendship for Axe and his extremely lovely and clearly open-minded fiance Paula for us to send a wedding present to the happy soon-to-be Mr. and Ms. Axe. I'd like to make a couple of suggestions, just to get the ball rolling. A pound of Canadian bacon. A Second City TV video or DVD. A case of Molson, the beer that made Canada famous. A hockey puck. A US $10 bill, which is probably worth about $1,000 Canadian. An axe, with their names engraved on the blade. Lets get with it, people. One of our own is facing a life-changing event, and I'm sure we all want to be there by his side, laughing at him.

Soddball, I wish you and mike_the_waffle would get your relationship straightened out. He says you're his daddy. You say he is your wife. This confusion creates all kinds of Oedipal problems for the rest of us. We could all need years of therapy from thinking about the possible relationships between you two. Ick! :eek: :mad: MasterGoodale (you maggot), are you planning on sending another turn now that we're into June? Have you chucked all your TNT and now lost interest in the battle - again? :mad: Or has your poor daughter, forced to share her home with your pet molds and ants, thrown up on your computer again? :mad:

Contestants: mike_the_whatever and me. Battle: Car Wars - choose armored cars and halftracks only, with maximum guns of 20 mm or less. He has unrestricted Axis, I have unrestricted Allied. Turn: #1 Result: At the beginning of turn 1 my ACs and halftracks had already spotted an Axis - are you all ready for this - SELF PROPELLED GUN !! :eek: I really do bring out his gamey side, don't I?

I bring out the gamiest part of you because you are 99 and 44/100ths percent gamey. There's no other part of you to bring out. At least after all of these threads and two completed PBEMs thats the way it looks to me. In totally unrelated news, Keke's Finns and Axe's Romanians are feeling some real TNT chucking. Paddington and MasterGoodale (the maggot) are both MIA, again, so what else is new? _UXcva is administering a severe whipping to my Russians, who may decide to take a powder at any moment. WallyBob continues to fire laser-guided depleted uranium rounds, while my T-34s reply with ping-pong balls or something equally useless. Prinz Eugen can still only look at the far-off Russian train station and wonder how he'll get there. Maybe he can sneak his Germans across the killing zones by disguising them as mailmen. Yeah, that might work! Last and certainly least, Mike Stalin's Kiwi Organ has me playing a scenario where I start out with lots of German trucks, and he starts with a KV already shooting at lots of German trucks. Sounds like something mike_the_perpetual_whiner dreamed up.

Jason, that's quite an article. As sad as everything else that has happened to this woman, to think that her only surviving sister disowned her for marrying outside the Jewish faith is tragic. Obviously the lessons of the evils of hatred and separateness taught by the Nazis in the concentration camps didn't get through to her sister. Surviving a year of slave labor at the camps and losing your entire extended family except for one sister would break the hearts and spirits of most people. To then emigrate to Sweden, fall in love with and marry a Swede, and have your only surviving sister turn her back on you for religious differences would be too much for anybody. This is one strong woman. :cool: By the way, who are you calling a freak, maggot? I post on the General Forum all the time. I have learned to just post and leave the thread, instead of waiting for the thought police to come along and point out how wrong my opinions are. Anyway, you make nonsensical posts here all the time, and we still like you - as long as you stay far enough away. Mike, I won't even wait as long as you thought. Let me quote you correctly here, "Car Wars" has begun. Dave H will be charging in here in about 2-3 turns telling all what a gamey bastiche I am.....I can hardly wait." Well you're in luck; your wait is over. Mike the whino is probably the single gamiest CM player living in the continental United States. Of course he can't compare in gaminess to Canadians and Finns, but then who can? Stalin's Organ is making me think the alleged people in Australia and New Zealand are every bit as gamey as their northern counterparts.

I give up. How gamey is it? </font>

I'll bet Prinz Eugen looks really butch just like Kevin Costner in his post-apocalyptic postal uniform. Mikko, glad to hear you got the job after all. You didn't have to have anybody eliminated to open up the position, did you? Just FYI, your Germans are still a loooooong way from the Russian's train station. Axe's Romanians seem to be wearing Harry Potter cloaks of invisibility. I had an advancing regular squad almost trip over one of his squads, which proceeded to slaughter my Hungarians. How gamey is that? I thought advancing troops were ready to fire at anyone who got in their way! GRRRR!!! :mad: Mike, a big map is doable. Which side do you want, Axis or Allies? This comment of your's, and I quote, "Sounds quite gamey but with these conditions even a nong like you could easily win." has cut me to the quick. Of course it's gamey; unless I'm seriously misinformed we are playing a G-A-M-E!!! Have another liter or two of wine and it won't matter. Or at least you won't care. MasterGoodale (you maggot), did you send my turn to Soddball by mistake? I don't even have a filter for my e-mail, and I did not receive a turn from you. Do you ever look at your Sent folder to see what addresses you've used on these wayward turns? Or to see if you even sent turns in the first place? Maggot. GRRR!!! :mad:

Mike, a demolition derby it shall be. Want me to send you a setup tonight? My game with Jim Boggs is on an indefinite delay. The game I envision probably won't last more than about 10 turns, as two lines of ACs and halftracks charge each other like knights at a tournament. No VLs. Very few trees, buildings, or hills. No guns over 20 mm. No crews better than green. No tactics, just let the AI fight it out. Think of it as a WW2 Car Wars arena. Sound okay with you? Hey, sometimes my wife's catering business is hired to provide wine for dinners and parties. Are you the MD 20/20 kind of wino, or can you make some recommendations of some really good wine at a reasonable price? I suspect there are some excellent wines readily available, but without the big advertising bucks and name recognition of a few big companies. Since I personally think all wine tastes slightly worse than vomit, I'm no expert on what is a good table wine. For those of you who don't know, Jim Boggs' wife is evidently having very serious medical problems. She had surgery last week, and he was hoping she would get to go home at the end of the week. She is still in the hospital, and he is spending his evenings there with her. I hope all of you can take a moment to think about Jim and his wife and wish them well. Thanks.

Axe, I was afraid you had turned into Gaylord Focker (the maggot) for a minute. Some of your posts on the previous page had all the wit and intelligence of someone trying to increase the number of his posts exponentially. Just like Gaylord Focker! Has anyone ever seen the two of you in the same place at the same time?? :confused: :eek: MasterGoodale (you fury maggot), I sent you a turn on Monday morning. I know you were really busy keeping your vomitorium cleaned up, but come on! :mad: Do you have to come whining for a turn that could even get to your place in two days? GRRRR!!! :mad: :mad: Mike the wiener, as soon as I finish a game or two, get ready for Round 3. It will be glorious, maybe green and conscript armored cars and halftracks duking it out in broad daylight.

Well, I wasn't expecting a miracle! That couple you interviewed were very, very lucky. Wind that powerful picks up so much dirt and grit that it actually sands the skin off of animals, including people. :eek: So, do my cooly professional Hungarians owe you a turn, or do your cowardly gamey Romanians have the next move? The only reason I mentioned the weather in our battle is because our first fight was at Soddball's Kneiber Dam at midnight. Now we're fighting at dusk in a driving rainstorm. Someday maybe we'll have a battle in daylight. Edited to add that, come to think of it, my loss to mike_the_whino was in Soddball's Inferno, also at night. My draw with mike was in the snow. Maybe I need to stick to daylight and better weather conditions. [ May 28, 2003, 11:25 AM: Message edited by: Dave H ]

Whoa, talk about your rhetorical questions! By the way Axe (you maggot), take a look at this web site here. If you wonder why I get nervous when the weather gets stormy, remember I was working in downtown Louisville on this afternoon. :eek:

"A manner most fair?" HA HA HA HA HA! Where in the world did you come up with that idea? Has there ever been anything posted on this thread that would make you expect fairness from this crowd? I attribute this remark to the loss of those brain cells you keep pickling with your drunken binges. "A manner most fair?" I can't stand it!! You're a regular Benny Hill! Or maybe more like a Mr. Bean! [ May 28, 2003, 08:01 AM: Message edited by: Dave H ]

Breaker, breaker 10-4. Keep on truckin'. I'm not surprised you like to use trucker lingo seeing as you drive your KV-2s like you're behind the wheel of a big rig out on Route 66 with nary a cop in sight. And therein lies your problem. Maggot. </font>

All the Finns who swarm all over this forum, and none have posted here yet? Come on Prinz Eugen and Keke and Paddington, the wisdom and knowledge of you and your countrymen are needed. Keke, you in particular, being a historian should know about this. Quit shelling my Russians with your Finn battleship guns for a minute and answer 86smopium's question.

Although I agree 100% with your post, I'm not convinced that MasterGoodale's (the maggot) e-mail is positively identified as the problem. We've never had any trouble exchanging turns, except for his usual snail's pace of sending them. Let me be sure I understand the situation clearly: 1. Soddball can send MasterGoodale an e-mail. 2. If MasterGoodale replies, Soddball doesn't receive it. 3. All of the other e-mail MasterGoodale sends gets to the addressee. Only Soddball has trouble receiving e-mails from the maggot. Here's a suggestion: A. Both Soddball and MasterGoodale send e-mails to all the usual suspects on this thread. B. Those of us fortunate enough to get e-mails from these two fury maggots reply. Those of us lucky enough not to get an e-mail can be very thankful. C. We'll see if the problem is MasterGoodale's sending or Soddball's receiving. Or the alternative solution: a. These two maggots can keep arguing back and forth about who is at fault forever. :eek: :eek: [ May 27, 2003, 01:50 PM: Message edited by: Dave H ]

I've got news for you Aximus, a quarter won't do the job in a pay phone. Not that anybody uses pay phones any more. Also, what's a Canadian quarter worth these days in US dollars, about 10 cents or so? FYI, I like these Hungarian troops with 2 LMGs per squad, and lots of cheap HMGs. We'll see how long your Romanian mortar crews stick around when the hot molten lead starts coming their way. Keke, I know you have a SturmTiger or something even bigger hidden over there in the pine trees. I wasn't aware the Finns had access to such heavy artillery. :eek: MasterGoodale (you fury maggot), I could show you my turn and you still couldn't find your way through my defensive line. So far you've come across some halftracks, a HMG, and a light AA gun at only the cost of 4 (yes, four) dearly departed M-17s. Keep pressing forward, and see what is waiting for you. :eek: WallyBob, when my Polish tank shook off two hits from your Hetzer, my morale improved greatly. I may have you outgunned. Prinz Eugen, I think your infantry has a long, long walk across open terrain to reach the train station. Think of it in terms of Pickett's charge at Gettysburg. Except here the defenders have machine guns. _UXcva (see, I remember who you are), your herd of assault guns is being a real pain in the rear to my heroic Russian infantry. I'm hoping to return the favor. Good luck against MasterGoodale (the maggot). Stalin's Organ, I know you're hiding out there somewhere. We'll find you eventually. Paddington, I need turns. Jim Boggs, I hope your wife is doing much, much, much better.

Is someone taking my name in vain? I can't even enjoy a nice, peaceful holiday weekend without the slanders flying on this thread full of sore winners. My electronic soldiers are suffering all manner of ignominious beatings. Keke is using gamey Finnish neutron bombs against my Russians, leveling acres of pine forests. MasterGoodale (the maggot) is parading JS tanks in front of my 20 mm guns, assuming the crews will be tricked into thinking they are more M-17s to shoot up. Stalin's Organ/Mike has sent me a scenario in which my men are apparently supposed to throw themselves across the road to keep his Russians from driving away. The rest of you are too low and filthy to even mention. Back to the Sci-Fi Channel's movie marathon.

Why in the world not? Go ahead, let's make it nine for nine as you join the world of runaway maggotitis. Keke seems to be the only Cheery Waffle inhabitant sending turns these days anyway. I have absolutely no preferences for nationalities, and I enjoy using green and even conscript troops. Day or night, clear, rain, fog, or snow are all OK. I do prefer assaults, attacks, and probes more than meeting engagements, which seem somewhat bogus to me. Biltongs maps are beautiful, if you'd like to use one of them. Send me a QB setup please, or a scenario you'd like to try, and let's keep it reasonable. If you send me Soddball's 22,000 point operation I probably won't even open the file. Something like 800 - 1,500 points should work well.

Turns are out to every one of you maggots I'm playing against right now. Game status report: Jim Boggs - taking care of family medical emergency. Has an excuse for delayed turns. Not a good excuse, but an excuse. Paddington - just sent me a file titled paddi_v_axe, which I tried to open and failed. This confirms my suspicions that Paddington is a complete maggot, sending a turn for Axe to me instead. Wake up Paddington, I've got Russian soldiers sinking into the mud waiting for your Germans to do something. _UXcva - just returned a turn to you. I think you have more Stugs than I have infantry men. I swear he has the Hydra-Stug, I kill one and three more take its place. :eek: Keke - just returned a turn to you, too. My Russians have strolled through the tall pine forests of Finland hoping to find at least one uber-Finn to take back for scientific study. It appears all of his soldiers are holed up in the Fortress of Solitude. :confused: Prinz Eugen - quit celebrating the end of the school year and send a turn sometime. His Pz IIIs are all over the map, while my abandoned T-34s sit parked in a neat row. His Germans have chucked more molten TNT than MasterGoodale could even imagine. GRRR!!! :mad: MasterGoodale - obviously 4,500 points of assaulting Russians have gone to his head. He has led his assault with M-17s, which now sit as monuments to 20 mm cannon firepower. I expect another turn from this maggot any minute now. RIGHT??? WallyBob - our small pure armor scenario hasn't gotten very far. My Poles will no doubt crush his helpless Hungarians with no fuss, no muss. :cool: Axe - this Canadian maggot decides to ignore all that is noble and pure and leave for the weekend!!! Isn't there any sense of duty and responsibility up there? Of course, when you consider that our little scenario is a Hungarian probe of a Romanian position, maybe he decided he needed a few days away from the pressure. It just struck me today that I could easily lose all eight of these PBEMs, thereby branding myself the absolute worst CMBB player on this thread. Oh Lord, the humiliation!

I don't think patiently clearing mines would fall into the time frame of a CM battle. In my opinion BFC has handled this correctly; the engineers/pioneers are included in the game as an important combat arm of the infantry. Their engineering is limited to using satchel charges to clear an unexpected minefield which has been discovered in the course of a firefight. Of course, they can use the satchel charges on other targets, too. Maybe CMAK will include some specialized mine clearing AFVs. Until then, mines can hurt attackers big time. Since I enjoy playing defense, I like what mines can accomplish very cheaply, without risking a single soldier.