Papa Khann

Seanachai, Italy is not meant to "win". They are meant to cling to the coattails of their Hun masters. Get it? Papa

Papa actually pays attention to him.</font>

Too puny a meal for dachshunds, to be sure. Perhaps a spittlebug? Papa

Dear MrAmbulanceChaser, And that would be an excellent reason for you to send me a setup. Much as I'm sure it soils my reputation as a gentleman, I am forced to admit that I enjoy a good tossing of a lamer under the treads of the nearest AFV. Especially if I get to swat them about a bit while listening to them whimper. No doubt this can be attributed to some aspect of my inner child that yearns to express it's felinity. Something in Italy or Crete should do nicely. The desert air parches our throat and drys our skin. Also I don't want to burden myself with working up a sweat under a hot sun while putting you to the sword. Papa

You aren't allowed to versify on election night! If that rule isn't already in the official Election Night Rules, then the rules are buggered and I hereby proclaim a new rule. Namely, no versifying for dalem on election night. (Give me a few hours and I'll come up with another rule for why dalem is not allowed to versify on the day after election night. Or the night after election night. Or ever again. Take your pick.) Papa

Dear MrAmbulanceChaser, Apparently in the southern states, your average degenerate is a bit less discriminating than their northern comp<big>L</big>ement<big>AR</big>ie<big>S</big>. I've no doubt your hillbilly kin are equally happy to excise their infernal demons upon the local fauna regardless of whether the victim is alive and kicking, or deceased. Here in the northland, our degenerates are more discerning. Papa

Four quatloos on Joe the Cat! Any takers? Papa

No offense, Lady Sedai, but have you taken a good look at what they have handed us as newbies lately? ... I thought not. Go ahead then, take a closer look. (Watch where you step though.) Now I ask you, who on God's green earth could manage anything of note with these tossers? Why, I'd wager that my cat could cough up something more suited to bettering itself than this lot. Papa

Dear MrAmbulanceChaser, Idjit. In order for Seanachai to "take" anything in the game, we would have to trust him with troops. After having experienced his dice rolling abilities firsthand, I do not anticipate the opportunity being granted to him. A more likely scenario is that the little wanker will be forced to emulate the landmass of Poland. And I will be a Stuka dive-bomber. Papa

Avant-garde gardening? </font>

[lowers the propellers, revs up the engine, then drives through the lillypads... smiling] Papa

Nonsense, Boo. No Repo Man in his right mind would venture into your neighborhood. I'm sure Repo Men are accustomed to living with danger and all that. Goes with the line of work, no doubt. However, everyone has their limits. I would think that the necessity of wiring an I.D. to one's own big toe prior to entering Boo's neighborhood would put most Repo Men off of the idea. Papa PS Those of you responding to the one currently assigned to Coventry, please refrain from doing so in the future.

Great. Now I'm going to spend the rest of the afternoon dashing my skull against the nearest blunt object. All in a vain effort to rid my mind of the image of Boo waving his delicate, manicured, limp-wristed hand (complete with pleated sleeve, no doubt... not that there's anything wrong with that) at his latest manservant, 3.7mm. Papa

You, sir, are correct! As a matter of fact, I was hoping I'd have access to at least 3 clay plugs come this Saturday evening. Though the use I envision for the clay plugs really doesn't require any vaseline. Papa PS So you don't like Geronimo either, eh? I don't know why I'm still surprised sometimes. Given your status as a Patrick Swayze groupie, that is....

I feel sad for MrSpkr because... I only get to pick one thing? <big>ONE</big>!! Joe, you cruel bastiche. Well, like it or not, I suppose the instructions are clear. I mean it's not like one of the Australians tried to post them or anything. Mind you, I'm tempted to issue a Seanachai-like diatribe on the evils of an idjit Texas lawyer harboring a farm-girl porn fetish. But I suppose if everyone indulged themselves recklessly, eventually the very fabric of our society would crumble. So I shall limit myself to the following item. I feel sorry for MrSpkr because his beloved state will forever be best remembered for lines in the film Geronimo. Lines written for a character possessed of many prejudices, in reference to persons who had committed unspeakable acts, and delivered with perfection by Robert Duvall. They go something like this... "Who could do such a thing? What form of white man could stoop this low? ...Must be Texans. Lowest form of white man there is." Papa [ October 19, 2004, 12:07 PM: Message edited by: Papa Khann ]

...knees begin to shake and knock... ...throat begins to rattle... ...entire body begins to twitch... ...voice begins to quiver... ...eyes glaze over as a stupid grin spreads across face... Th.. The Lady <big>touched</big> me! Papa

Boo, you say that like it's less than the greatest thing in the world. This confuses me. Then again, you're a known glue sniffer. A true degenerate who's idea of "date night" is staying home to fondle the naugahyde armrest on his La-Z-Boy. Why wouldn't I be confused by you? Papa

Pay attention, you great truffle-eared dolt. I do not cower behind the garnish. I improvise with it. Papa

Why does it not surprise me that MrAmbulanceChaser clearly spends his days scouring the internet for pictures of women from Licking County? Papa

Lars, Lets make dalem invite us to his house Saturday for Drunken Third Reich. I left beer at his house last weekend, so we'd best not wait too long before we get back over there. dalem isn't exactly a paragon of will power, you know. Also, Lars, I shall require a proper whipping boy to spell you when your constitution begins to falter, so I suggest we enlist Seanachai as well. Papa PS And for God's sake, dalem, try to have the proper fruit on hand this time, will you! I'll have you know that it was completely unacceptable to have to use the garnish from the carry-out Mexican joint. Not that it will stop me from drinking the rest of the Corona should you fail in this most simple of tasks. No, mind you, that's not how it would go at all. In fact, I begin to see through your thinly veiled plot, you (pardon me, Elvis) wanker. You have been TRYING to put me off the Corona by denying me the fruits I am so justly entitled to. Hah! So since you're not going to get to drink all the beer yourself anyway, I beseech you to do your duty as my cabana boy and go buy a proper variety and amount of fruit.

Oh yeah I had a question too... When are reruns of The Man Show going to be on? Papa

Given the limited cerebral capacity most of these CessPool speci<big>men</big>s possess, I can hardly blame our good Lady for coming to such a conclusion. But surely She would not stoop so low as to assume that <big>all</big> of us are possessed of the same sloped forehead and protruding jaw that say, Lars, or Boo, or Joe, or Emry's, or dalem, or Mace, or or or... well ok pretty much everyone other than me... tend to exhibit. Surely? Papa

Hey Boo! Rejoice! One of your Ohio teams won one. Now all you have to do is get the league officials to schedule the Ohio teams to play each other every week. (snicker) Papa

Allow me to save you the trouble, Mr. Emry's. Here's a list of answers that should address the questions you and your pack of street urchins will no doubt have questions for. 1) Bathing 2) Deodorant 3) Toothbrush 4) Toothpaste 5) Shampoo 6) Having teeth to use number 3 and number 4 on 7) Clean clothes 8) Having hair to use number 5 on 9) Soap 10) Not living in the back of a van, down by the river Did I miss anything? Papa

And I readily accept the blame. I really must learn not to post with my mouth full. Or after I've refilled dalem's trash with beer bottles and fruit rinds. It always turns out poorly. Not to worry. Last time I checked I had at least two of those. As to the shrubbery, it shall not be an easy thing to manage. But I promise to do what I can. Lars! Front and center! I've a task for you. Stand up straight. Stop chewing on that, whatever it is. And no, I don't want to share it. Or even see it... All right, all right, just put it back in your mouth! There's a good lad. We require a shrubbery for a stiletto clad Lady of the Pool... What? No, no, whatever it is you're chewing on simply won't do, you dolt. Now off to the forest with you, and see that you don't return without a suitable specimen. (I don't expect him back before the spring growing season. Then again, it's sort of a win-win, if you take my meaning.) Papa