chrisl

You ought to know about his loss, since you were ostensibly his second in his ill-fated battle. If you had done a better job he might not have been slaughtered on the 4th turn or so. Nevertheless, I own his name now, and Berli or Seanachai has to win it back. I expected a much better battle out of Berli, but it's clear now that he's probably in cahoots with you to keep The Gates-slut as he is. (edited to get those tiny little letters) [ February 06, 2002, 11:38 PM: Message edited by: chrisl ]

And that would be different from your present existence in what way? You're in line behind The Gnome and in front of Sludge, his Squire.

Get in line. You might have to win back Seanachai's magic gnome hat and Berli's name first, though. The battle with Seanachai has commenced, but no shots have been fired yet. Given the terrain he's going to have a tough, but not impossible task ahead. Berli on the other hand, seems to prefer that the Gates-Pod formerly known as Peng remain condemned to his twitching xbox existence. At least that's what you'd think from the way he's sending little electronic troops to their doom.

I'll send you the picture-- it's actually on my list of things to do, but it's somewhere down after cleaning the gutters and scooping out my eyes with a grapefruit spoon. As for The former name of the Gates-Slut- the only way anyone wrests it from me is by winning it in a CM battle. At the rate Pluto and Seanachai are going, it may be a game of CMBB...

If you have time to blather on like that you could at least select all your troops, make a collective "fast move" across the map, and press go.

Downloaded fine for me-- had to do a save as, since it's not properly tagged for Netscape to launch Acrobat. Because it's a .mil site it's possible that they limit dl's to IP addresses identifiable as US, even though the material may not be classified in any way.

CMBO machineguns are quite effective in a WW1 sort of way if you set them up in WW1 sort of conditions: 1) Create a map with a big open area ~200 m or so across, and woods/buildings on one side, with woods on the other. The woods/buildings will house the defenders (since you can't make real trenches), and the woods the attackers (so they can start in full cover) 2) make the ground conditions muddy 3) put a couple rows of wire between the attackers and defenders (one is often enough) 4) give the defenders a dozen or so machineguns (regular quality). Also give them enough leaders so every MG is in C&C. 5) Distribute the MGs uniformly along the defenders line, inside the cover (trees and buildings). Every MG should be able to cover nearly every bit of the no-man's land with interlocking fire. 6) start a large number of attacking troops on the other side (mostly regulars and green). 7) Set the attackers to run across the open area, and swarm the MGs. 8) Press "GO". Very few attackers will make it across the wire. When I've done this with 2 companies against about a dozen MGs, I don't get more than 1 or 2 squads across unbroken (sometimes the broken squads will retreat forward, since the cover is closer). The wire slows the attackers enough to let the MGs cut them to pieces, which is exactly what the wire is for. For more fun, put some TRPs in no mans land (near the wire) and rain artillery on the attackers as they run across.

Hey Gates-slut-- files sent to your champion Pluto are suffering from delayed delivery. You're going to be stuck a Gates-slut forever. [ February 02, 2002, 05:23 AM: Message edited by: chrisl ]

I'll get to it. I've been rudely interrupted by real life lately, and hardly have enough time to abuse Pluto, let alone go rooting around on my hard drive for pictures of myself. How about one of the cat with only 3 legs?

Updates on the status of the Gates Slut who will never again be known as Peng: After a long interruption by real life I managed to get a file out to the Gnome. He has to advance across a long stretch of mostly empty map, with a few covered paths that are now bristling with all sorts of defensive implements of destruction. It's going to suck to be him even more than it already does. Pluto has been reduced to sending noises (e.g. Grrr) with his turn by a rather vicious ambush. He tried to get clever and run a platoon around the side of his main attack. They got held up by a few MG42s (who says they're undermodeled) and scary looking jacko-lanterns, then cut to pieces at a cost to me of nothing but a few bullets and a little flamethrower jelly. His main attack is also a bit stalled, as the FT in CMBO appears to be slightly overmodeled: I managed to set a wet dirt road on fire with a few bursts from an FT. Quite the gamey trick that I'll have to remember for the future. The Greyhound that was parked there went up along with it. Now the lord of the underworld has to drive his armor across the wet and bog-inducing ground.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: By that logic you could not win Peng's name in the first place.<hr></blockquote> the former Peng is the oldest of the Olde Ones™, and lost his name of his own free will That is, if you think there is free will. It may also have been predestined, but since it's basically unknowable, it doesn't really matter. The Gates Slut had every right to lose his own name, but if you want it back you have to win it in a battle. Not with some sort of vote of cess covered loons. [ 01-26-2002: Message edited by: chrisl ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Persephone: I am presenting you with my own challenge for the name of Peng. <hr></blockquote> Peng's name can only be won back by an Olde One™ in a CM match. If I can find some time this weekend I might dig around for a picture from the pre-vampire days and send it. In the meantime your buddy Pluto owes me a file.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Who but a professional idiot would actually want the Olde Ones in their house?<hr></blockquote> Taxidermied you all wouldn't be nearly so difficult to deal with as pickled. And Seanachai goes out in the front garden. You're just in a nasty mood because Goanna gave you a bad setup and you'll have to change your name like the Gates-slut.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Gates-slut: With Berlio and the UberGnome flailing around on my behalf in little festering worlds that YOU have created I might as well resign myself to an eternity of Gates-slutdom.<hr></blockquote> Muahahahaha! My nefarious plan is proceeding apace. Soon I will have collected a complete set of Olde Ones™ and can have them stuffed and mounted on my mantel next to the velvet Elvis (the King, in his fat Vegas period, not the cohort of the Gates-slut). I didn't go to Evil Doctor School for nothing!

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Persephone: Chrisl, I am challenging you to send me your photo. I get to do whatever I wish with it and all you get to do in exchange is to be humiliated. I consider this a fair challenge. <hr></blockquote> I suffered a vampire bite as an undergrad and no longer appear in photos. It only got me once before it was staked, so I can go outside in the daytime, and eat garlic and such. Just the photos and mirrors don't work.

Status update on the Gate-slut who shall remain such until further notice The Petty demon soon to be known as Peter and I have traded first shots in the battle for Peng's name. The Über-lizard has put us in a death-match for the name of Peng. Berli has been given what is probably a battalion of high ground- pressure US armor on a very forested map in the rain, with wet ground. I have nothing but sharpshooters and assault boats. One of the VLs is accessible only by fording a stream, and Berli's Fords aren't likely to be able to do it. In our first exchange of fire, he's exposed some big TD that is trying to swing its turret fast enough to pick off a Panzerschreck team. The TD must be a Wolverine then, since a Hellcat has a fast enough turret to track a hummingbird at 15 feet. The schreck team is responding with harsh words and dirt kicked at the TD by the heels of their hob-nailed boots. I've also sent my troop purchases in the Battle for the Gnome's Hat off to Goanna. We should be exchanging files shortly, followed by me winning his cute little magic hat. [ 01-20-2002: Message edited by: chrisl ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Goanna: Hmmm, makes me wonder what I did to the Bard in his game. If I gave him troops at all that would probably be a step in the wrong direction. <hr></blockquote> I think he was supposed to send in his order. I still owe you my troop order. Reality has been impinging excessively on my CM lately, so I probably won't get it to you before tomorrow.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Imagine my shock and surprise when I opened the file of our Meeting Engagement only to see the VLs off in the distance… on the other side of the map. <hr></blockquote> Oh, please. The map isn't that large, and the VLs arent that far away (at least for me they're not). So what if he gave you all high ground pressure armor on a wooded map with wet ground in the snow. If you were honest a pure of heart like Joan of Arc you would have no trouble-- your tanks would levitate across the map, bogging nowhere, never suffering hits on the TC from the land of a thousand snipers. Wait. I almost forgot-- you're Santa! Oops, I meant Satan. Better luck next time. I'm going to have to get used to calling you Peter.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: Demands for a file<hr></blockquote> I'm working on it. I should have it out to you by some time friday. I've been focusing more on freezing hell over for now.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: I certainly will. Right after... D) Hell freezes over IV) My Hellhounds stop begging attention Delta) I develope a fondness for Fosters 4) Seanachai becomes a gnome of few words<hr></blockquote> Be careful what you say there-- D) I do cryogenics for a living...I'm already working on this one. IV) I like puppies. Delta) Not sure if I can pull this one off 4) When I win his cute little hat all the magic will be gone and he'll be a mute little piece of garden statuary. I'll have to think about the Foster's problem, but the rest are under control.

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Seanachai: So I, too, shall play Chrisl (that roight bastard) for the name of Peng. I leave, as is my right, all the details to be administered by my many annoying Australian Foes. Having failed, thus far, to crush them utterly, I'm starting to have a fond regard for them, in the same way that a homeowner who cannot rid the place of rats, eventually gives them names, has the names engraved on food bowls, and buys them chew toys. <hr></blockquote> Yeah, yeah. Fine. At least Berli wasn't so verbose about it. And if you lose? I can't be offering up Peng's name in exchange for nothing to every Dmitri that comes knocking at the castle walls. Berli is going to have to change his name to Peter if he loses (he hasn't agreed to it yet, but he will). From you I want something different. Something unique. I want the gnome hat. With it you become some logorheaic pest who yammers on about things in a faux english accent. Without it you're just another silly lawn ornament. And to you Aussies-- don't forget that Seanachai has it in for your flat little land. Please make the scenario more fair for me than for him. [ 01-15-2002: Message edited by: chrisl ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: I got the map, so the troop decision is yours. <hr></blockquote> I'm defending as Jerries with 1500 pts against an attack. Goanna is selecting the actual troops for both sides, unless you prefer to make your own picks. Then I'll send him instructions as well. Maybe we'll get luck and he'll make give us some reinforcements like in Event Horizon. <blockquote>quote:</font><hr> What do you get? You get to keep Peng's good name. this isn't a meeting engagement, this is you defending your right to keep peng enslaved<hr></blockquote> Peng's name is certainly not good. It makes me itchy to own it, and my cats are breaking out in all sorts of sores since I won his name. Maybe I'll give it to mensch, just to make him suffer a bit. [ 01-14-2002: Message edited by: chrisl ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Moriarty: It was I, not Joe Shaw who found the most evil map and foisted it upon the latter. I selected suitably lousy weather and parameters <hr></blockquote> Shaw was just a lousy enough second to agree to it. He also let you talk him down from assault to attack. <blockquote>quote:</font><hr> Chrisl concocted a noxious OOB that blew the Army of Peng to smithereens. <hr></blockquote> It wasn't even that noxious: 1 part 105 VT, 5 parts TRP, 4 parts AT gun, lots of cheap green squads. Had I seen the map beforehand I could have created an even more noxious OOB. I would have gotten only one platoon of infantry. I think the future Gates-slut probably still had a chance, unless he didn't manage to spot where the AT guns were on the turn I blew up all his halftracks and chased their occupants into the gullies with arty raining down upon them. Still waiting to hear if Berli wants to order troops special or let Goanna pick them. btw--If I lose I have to give Peng's soul, or at least his name, back. What if I win? Can I have Berli's soul, too? How about if Berli loses he has to change his handle to Peter? Berli does, after all, rhyme with pearly... [ 01-14-2002: Message edited by: chrisl ]</p>

<blockquote>quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Berlichtingen: I hereby challenge Chrisl to do battle for the fate of Peng's name.<hr></blockquote> Shall we do a QB, or do you want to round up some seconds to set it up for us? Please, no caps in the handle. I won the right to keep lowercase from Peng.

It isn't up for a vote. I defeated Peng in almost fair electronic combat (his own second, the former Justicar of the MBT Shaw, set him up with a lousy map that ensured his destruction around turn 5), and the price he paid was to become the Gates-slut formerly known as Peng. He lost. He kept his part of the bargain like the honorable pod that he was. As for the name of the thread-- It can perfectly well remain the Peng Challenge thread. Peng is a concept much greater than the drunk Pennsyltuckian that bore its name, and which will remain forever immortalized in such threads as Cabbages and Kings. Any of you who haven't read it ought to read it right now and the anti-smiley thread from the same era. Everything about the Peng challenge thread will then become completely clear, or else your head will explode. In either case it will stop all the "lets get rid of that thread I don't understand" threads. Now back to the Gates-slut formerly known as Peng. That's his official new handle, but as part of the deal, and in order to keep him from slipping into scottish from having too long a name, like OberGruppenStompinFuehrer, I agreed at the start of our challenge that he could shorten it to Gates-slut. He could also use GSFKaP if all of you scots are going to be in such an uproard over having Peng in the name. At least if you are in an uproar only about 2% of the board will even be able to tell through your accents, though the bruises on your wee spaniels will give it away to anyone who visits. If you want his name back, someone will have to win it from me in electronic combat (and in CM ya wankers--none of this IL-2 stuff that's been plaguing the MBT). I would suggest one of the olde ones as a champion for Peng's name. Though if you select Berli you may get the name back, but lose the soul. That leaves you with Seanachai. I don't think I've lost one to him... (I also don't have much time to play before the end of January, so you're stuck with the Gates-slut until then.)