Seanachai

Goodness, what the...I believe I'm finally having one of those 'flashbacks' the 'Just Say No' folks were always on about...AGGGGGHHHH! THE SPIDERS ARE COMING, THE SPIDERS ARE COMING!!!!

Really, Peng, it could still be so much worse. While you were in the gentleman's at Glueks bar, Berli and I seriously discussed selling you to that horrible woman who was waving at you. I can't remember just now why we decided against it.

Alright, I am puzzled, and, indeed, disturbed (shut up, it's too easy). Noba claims to be Australian, but I just rediscovered this recent post, and I realized what it was about it that disturbed me. Point One: the pumpkin is a New World vegetable/squash/big orange thingy, and Point Two: the only people I've ever in a long life of roaming heard use the term 'pumpkin' as a term of endearment are Northern Ohions! Yes, dear friends, only in Northern Ohio do adults actually address each other in endearment with the term 'Pumpkin'. In fact, most women from Cleveland actually say 'Punkin'! The horror knows no bounds. I accuse Noba of being no true Australian, but from Cleveland, Ohio! [ March 21, 2002, 02:47 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

But doubtless still of the same gender. We support you, Dalem. A man with an earless dog has to take his fun where he finds it.

True, very true. Wasn't it Henry Ford that said, "You can have your type in any color, so long as it is black"</font>

That's right, almost forgot to mark the calendar: Berli beginning no-smoking attempt, time to go into hiding

He gets MORE cranky?</font>

BOOT! BOOT! BOOT! DO YOU THINK THESE GNOME BOOTS ARE JUST FOR DANCING IN DEW CIRCLES, YOU PILLOCK, AND WADING THROUGH THE MANURE OF SQUIRE POSTS?! BOOT! BOOT! BOOT! NEVER, EVER, MENTION A LADY OF THE THREAD'S NAME IN AN INSOUCIANT MANNER AGAIN! BOOT! Also, don't annoy the Berli. He's just taken a new Squire, and this will probably make him cranky.

Really, it's true. I found this especially reprehensible because here's a lad, enrolled in a tournament of Newbies for gods' sake, and he pulls this sort of thing. Now, anyone in the community can expect to run into a few fools, cheats, and bad losers; it comes with the territory. We all just shrug, make a note of the name, pass it on to friends as a warning, and move on. But when someone enters a tournament designed to give new players a hand-up to the Combat Mission community and the enjoyment of PBEM or TCP/IP play, and their first encounters are with a cheat and liar, well, that just does the whole community a dis-service, and is utterly shameful. Sadly, the little toad will probably simply go away and come back under a new screenname and continue to pollute an otherwise fine community. While I wouldn't expect an individual to bother to post this sort of behaviour over a game, I think it's a service to all that SuperTed, after reviewal, did so, and I think anyone running a Tournament has the right to let the community know when a player reveals himself to be a worthless swine. [ March 20, 2002, 02:13 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

As a matter of fact, I did. I have a few menial tasks that needs be done... and that requires a squire. I seem to be all out of squires at this moment, so... hide your eyes Joe I do hereby take the serf, AussieJeff for my squire Thou shalt perform... J) A Quest - You will go forth with your Green Volksturm and Attack each and every Squire currently in training. Each of battle will be initiated with a Shakespearian Taunt and regular reports shall be posted here with full bile and venom for your unworthy opponents. 24) A Task - You shall go forth and find each and every generation of the Immortal Thread and post the links in order. 6^2) A Joust - The details of this will be given when a Knight herein provides a suitable squire. Enjoy the bolding of your name by Herr Shaw for you'll get none of that from me. The only bolding I'll give a squire is the *BOOT*</font>

Now, I have, indeed, witnessed the phenomenon of Mr Peng abroad, as it were. Peng has, in fact, the sort of off-beat, slightly vacuous 'not quite sure what's going on, where's the next round' good looks that you simply do not expect from him. But women, even young and attractive women, respond to him in a positive manner. Our waitress that night at Glueks positively leaned over, and into Peng, so as to present her charms in the most sympathetic way. And she was kind to him, and smiled, which is more than an aging drunken lecher like Peng could normally hope for. But where the fate of Peng is most clearly revealed, is with older, serious drinking women. Peng is quite right about the woman in Minneapolis. She was making a serious play to engage the attention of our favourite curmudgeon. Not that Peng noticed. It was Berli and I who pointed out 'Jesus, Peng, that woman's waving at you'. After one quick, terrified glance, Peng started gulping beer at even more than his normal rate. I am here to tell you, dear friends, this woman was a bit scary. Not many women show up in a German Brew-pub in Minneapolis in late October wearing only plunging neckline leotards and tights. And she was at least as old as the ÜberGnome, and I'm older than two of our States (Hawaii and Alaska dutifully send me birthday cards each year). Not that she didn't have a pert and very feminine build on her. The scary part was when you caught her eyes and found they were as flat and un-responsive as a slot machine, and just as calculating. Not to mention that she looked like she didn't simply come to bars, but that she was as native to them as the timberwolf is to boreal forests, and was there for pretty much the same predatory purposes. So there were Berli and I, nudging him, and saying Peng, Peng, she's waving and smiling at you, lad! And Peng, staring straight ahead and smiling at his stein, was saying 'yes, I'm sure she is, and that sort of smile is the last thing some scuba divers ever see. Shut up, you two bastards, and stop pointing at me and smiling at her. I did not come to Minneapolis to serve as some sort of human sacrifice!' How we laughed. [ March 20, 2002, 01:17 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

You lunatic, the 'Outer Boards' is everything except the Peng Challenge Thread. Lord, our current crop of SSNs is smart enough to know that.

Sod that for a game of tin soldiers. Lyonel, should you actually ever post here, know that the noble brethren of the Peng Challenge Thread stand ready to...er, well, treat you fairly horribly, if it comes right down to it. But not like this lot of poodles. We'll treat you horribly like trained, true, and vicious professionals. Wankers.

Mace is drunk again (still?). Shouldn't that be WBW (for Wild Bill Wilder). And it's definitely 'Sassenach'. Take a few deep breaths, Mace my happy little cockatoo, and try to recover yourself.

Greetings, PoolFroth. Maybe less the Ass rubbing off on him and more a sanguine melancholy for the times that were; a longing fondness for "the good olde days" when he could bank on a regular paycheck. Even now, he may be reduced to pawning his PC for a Gameboy - a frightful thought. Apparently CM does not port well to that platform, however he may yet find solace there, in endless rounds of solitaire "DonkeyKong". So perhaps some pity is due the Olde Feller until he can feel himself again. Thoughtfully, AJ</font>

...and your inablility to defeat any of them. Pillock</font>

Well, lad, you have to remember, I'm the 'Nice One'. That has nothing to do, of course, with being nice, it has more to do with being...well, the Present. Different from the Berli, don't you see, and the Peng. And as for the non-hatred thing, well, you silly little ****e, it's just as well, isn't it? You see, as one of the Eldest, I have no particular need to hate you. You are, by definition, almost beneath my notice. Now, we both know that that's all sophistry, and not worthy of the Peng Challenge Thread. So what it boils down to, in the end, is that my hatred of you is deep, and abiding, and well beyond what you deserve. And that's a given. And, in the end, that allows me to deal with each and every one of you as you deserve. It gives me the ability to welcome some of you useless little sods in, and dismiss others. It allows me take heart in your little triumphs of posting, while calling each and every one of you on to the carpet. Now be quiet. I'm trying to focus in on my Inner Drunken Croda in my hatred of the Australians...

Are you sure 'bout it? I've lived 14 years in the Soviet Union and i'm kinda sure that the sickle, star and hammer was on both sides of the flag </font>

Bah! I wave my hand at you! You are good, but no Master of the Cess, and while you are now with us, you do not dictate Cess. Because I like you (well, not all that much, but more than some, and I haven't actually decided to use the weeks of my severance pay to hunt you down and kill you, so that's very like 'affection' here in the Cesspool), I'll tell you a secret, lad. There comes a point when one casts aside the whole 'Cesspool' metaphor, as apt as it is, and begins to post beyond scatology. A point when you are asked to go beyond the 'Jesus Christ, did you see that?! That monkey just flung his ****e at me! Ruined me vest, he did!' So, Pondscum, let me just tell you this: When you can snatch the ****e from my hand, it will mean you can stay. When you can return it to me as a diamond, it will mean you have arrived.

Dirty laundry? Only fools and cheaters would like to see it ignored. Corruption and dishonour cannot survive where dirty linen is hung out for all to see. SuperTed is a true asset to the CM community, donating his time and effort selflessly to try to enrich the experience and enjoyment of others. You are a nasty little blight with no apparent positive contributions at all, except a willingness to sound-off about things that you know less about than honour. In the nicest possible way, can I just say: Sod Off. One wonders if you don't have some sort of agenda or connection to the acknowledged cheater. Oh, and it should be 'don't you folks have anything better to do'. Halfwit.

Grog Dorosh grows old, and strange, and ever stranger, and each day draws closer to entering the Peng Challenge Thread forever, perhaps never to return...

Where's me feckin' turn, Mr Bard? Oh, I get it - you don't like Berli's Roos Hopping The Rhine scenario eh?? Too 'balanced' eh??? Might test your 'mettle' a bit too much this time, with me being on an equal footing and all that, eh???? Pah! Show me some ticker, puhleese! At least Croda has had the decency to send forth his singular troop bearing Crodaballs to die proper. Tap, tap........... AJ</font>

It's true, actually. He hates everyone pretty much equally, extending it, as necessary, out to the more obscure relatives of any given idjit that posts here. Oh, and at no extra charge, he'll hate you pre-emptively, hating you as far back as Middle School. He'd hate you at an earlier period in your life, but it's just not satisfying to hate children younger than 11, as their nature's aren't fully developed and fixed, and there's always a chance that they might turn out differently than you lot of embittered and lost souls. Goanna, Eldest Australian and otherwise irritating halfwit, I apologize for never getting back to you after our last game in which you (undoubtedly) bought your own units and set mine for 'picked by the AI in a fit of giggling arseholery'. Now that I'm unemployed, dead drunk on cheap red wine, with a powerful lust on to once again 'Crush All Australians' it seems only fitting that we should play again. Rather than ponce about with maps, and Seconds, and all that rot, how about just demeaning yourself to create something like a believable QB, not like that last abortion where you got StuH42s, PzkwIVs, StugIIIs, and I got 3 sodding Sextons. I mean, really, lad. That was as near to 'whoops-a-daisy, I've gone and put together some sort of joke QB, let's see how long it takes the Old Gnome to cotton to my all too obvious ploy' as one gets on this planet. A second such result can only result in my asking SuperTed to post an open letter to you. Now, as I remember it, our first game was actually an intriguing battle that I'm still sorry I didn't win. It had depth, it had an interesting map, it had glory, it had desperate maneuvering. Our second, of course, was your whoopy cushion of a QB that shall go unnoticed and unremarked upon lest your good name, such as it is, be entered eternally into the lists of 'those who took advantage of AI pillockry'. Perhaps, this time, I might be allowed to buy my own troops? Then, of course, I have to live or die by my own choices, rather than apply clown makeup and drop trow for your shooters at the behest of the AI. [ March 18, 2002, 04:08 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Oh, fine, yes, I'll give him that, but only if the horrible little man stops trying to do his awful impersonations of German or any other language than his own Australian, as they were all quite horrible and made me want to find him and kill him, and apologize to all the peoples of the world, other than Australia, which should have already been apologizing for him. Seriously, you don't know what embarassed anguish is until you've read his email responses as the 'German' commander of his forces. I'd pay good money, and me unemployed, to never, ever have to see him attempt to post as a 'German' again.

Hiram, lad, I thank you for your thought. I am a bit concerned about the remark that I would find a job worthy of my character and abilities, because that would imply that I'll end up either in jail, or as the next pontiff. I'm an individual of widely divergent tendencies, as it were. I'll take it that you meant I'll end up in jail, as that's the much nicer solution for humanity.