Seanachai

That was...well, lad, that was just... Well, mostly incoherent, but I loved it.. We all miss Lorak. And Mark IV. (lest their names grow dim...) Roight, then! Turns are all out, except to MrSpkr, 'cause I just found his. The 'Four Horsemen' thread is doing well, I think. Anyone ever notice how daffy the whole Board gets just before the next game comes out? Joe, have no worries about monitoring Coventry where certain little trolls are involved. I'm fed up, and will give it some notice. A reminder to all that certain whiners who've realized no one can hear them piss themselves if they're not here to make a dribbling sound, are in Coventry. Be sure to see the cathedral there, Gaylord. I hear it's quite nice. Go in and say a prayer for your utter lack of credibility as a person on this Board. Did you know it was completely destroyed by bombing in WWII? Of course, it was rebuilt and reestablished. Which is more than can ever be said for your presence here. Last words ever, little man. Now go whine at someone on the General Forum about how people should pay attention to you, you little puddle of piss.

Hmmm pauses a moment to consider Let's see. Accomplishments: Began the Peng Challenge Thread, now on its tumpty tumpty incarnation, probably 10,000 posts or better, and made MrPeng an International Star. Established a new, secular order of Knighthood that most don't realize is a lineal descendant of the Templars, forging links to the Illuminati. Raised Elijah Meeks to Kingship. Current Projects: Revealed Berli, Dorosh, Emrys and Andreas to be the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, playing upon their status as 'Dark and manipulative figures behind the control of the CM Forums'. Several Cults already begun, with more in the offing. Do you know, eventually I'm going to have to start charging for this sort of thing.

Frunze, you are clearly a thinker, and I have misjudged you. Oh, you're a lunatic, of course, but your points above are very cogent, and I've never had that many problems with lunatics. I salute you, sir. Any harsh words I may have passed upon you in the past are, well, past. They all involved politics, in any case, which is a bloody stupid endeavour for providing the basis for hatred and anger.

No. No treat for you. Go sit at the back of the other 49 states and contemplate how annoying you pillocks are. Alabama and Mississippi are laughing at you.

No. No treat for you. Go sit at the back of the other 49 states and contemplate how annoying you pillocks are. Alabama and Mississippi are laughing at you.

BFC, make the Squareheads stop it. I feel like they're talking about me, and it makes me uncomfortable. Are they talking about world domination? Incontinence? Canada? Make 'em stop. I demand they insult me to my face. After all, it must all be about me, mustn't it? Mustn't it...mustn't it...bugger, that sounds right, but looks awful...

Of course you don't, lad. You just took one, of course, but you don't really need them. It's just that the world seems to function more smoothly when you stay on the medication, now doesn't it? I'd ask for a review of Coventry, but I'm not up for the floor fight.

Er...try to look on the bright side, lad. Ohio! Number one in theft and vandalism! Your State excels...just, possibly, not in a good way. On the other hand, if you'd left 22 'known to be there for a while and unprotected' cars in Chicago, you wouldn't even have found a puddle of window glass when you got back...

Bah! I had nothing to do with that. Who is William Amos? </font>

Gaylord, you must take the pills every day, or they don't do any good. Every single day, on schedule. Sorry to break the ban, Justicar, but a serious issue involving mental health and medication seemed important. So many people think that just because they're 'feeling better', that the medication isn't 'important' anymore. It's just not so, lad.

Second the donkey to be Dorosh's shudder mount. Michael, treat him gently. One owner, but that was himself. We can only imagine the horrors he's been subjected to.

Gaylord, I would never seek to quibble with you when it comes to 'boring'.

Apologies, lad. I have it, and will return it as soon as the stars have come back into alignment. As the beer's nearly gone, I'm sure they'll be properly aligned by tomorrow AM sometime. And never worry about the Horsemen, lad. I've got an 'in' with them. And Berli's not going to shuffle the World off as so much bad rubbish until he gets to watch every single last sodding turn of the game in which he is not simply beating me like a cracked bodhran, but humiliating me in a way that only a great soul like my self could even accept without going mad.

I would, lad, believe me, I would, but I don't want to upstage all the other clowns and lend them some semblance of legitimacy. And what would be the point? If Dorosh, Andreas, Berli and Emrys are preparing to ride out, California's going to be one of the first places to get the Cosmic Enema. Stands to reason.

That's a load of crapoopoo ya gnome ya. You haven't remembered anything more than where the catheter fits in months. Why haven't you remembered to go defend our Dear Clothier Dorosh, who at this very moment is under attack in some silly GF thread? Why haven't you remembered that, when you are summoned with no notice on a Saturday night you are to respond forthwith? What do we have to do, rub a frikkin' lamp to make you appear? Bah. </font>

I'm with you, Redwolf. I move that we form the 'Axis of Alternate Evil Control, That May or May Not Be Controlling the CM Forum'. Bloody Emrys. Sticks in your craw, too, doesn't it?!

Well, Gentlemen and Ladies, Grogs and Modders, dogs, chickens and Cesspoolers. I'm sure there's a certain amount of shock on the Forum. A certain amount of trauma and uncertainty. I'm sure many are wondering 'what does it all mean?', and how recent revelations regarding control of the Forum will affect each and every one of us. The revelation that the entire Board is controlled by the recently revealed 'Four Horsemen', or: Michael Dorosh, Andreas, Michael Emrys and Berlichtigen, well...I can only imagine the confusion, bordering on panic that must be taking place out there. Indeed, one anonymous poster recently said to me: At the time I was bemused. I went to Berlichtigen and asked him: "What's he talking about? What protection?" And Berli told me: "That's us. Dorosh, Emrys, Andreas and I. We've been protecting you now for months. Years." I was stunned. "But why?" I asked the Evil One. "You're bloody awful annoying. We find that useful. It's all part of our carefully wrought plans of domination and evil. Now piss off and do me a turn." Well, let me hasten to tell you that you could have knocked me over with the newly ripped off, flung wing of a recently shot grouse. What terrible evil had I stumbled upon? What challenges would this mean for all mankind? More importantly, what would this mean for Canada? But then, as it normally does, my mind turned to other considerations. I mean, it's long been contended that the Cesspool was somehow involved with the Illuminati, and that the members were secretly involved with controlling the fate of Mankind, and, more importantly, Combat Mission. That it should suddenly be revealed that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, figures so terrible that their coming would send the nations of the world reeling should contain two known Cesspool members (including one Olde One of the 'Pool), shouldn't be all that much of a surprise. But then, you have to stop, and consider. Emrys? I mean Emrys?! One of Four Vast Figures of Cataclysmic Impact and Possible Evil Intent? Bugger. I interspersed these thoughts, of course, with reflections on how hard it was to find a good Mortal Enemy these days (you know, one who'd stay focused and hate you properly, without zig-zagging like a drunkard all over the landscape of hatred), and what a thankless position being one of the Olde Ones of the Peng Challenge Thread was when it didn't even get you a proper savaging and accusations of evil control despite long hard hours of posting, but instead gave the nod to Berli, who can't be bothered to string more than 3 sentences together, or someone like Emrys, who, for the love of all the gods, is about as offensive as a bloody fox terrier. And, amidst my musings, of course, it occurred to me, as it has no doubt occurred to you: Well, if they're the Four Horsemen, which is which? So I began to ponder. Dorosh, of course, was easy. Dorosh is Pestilence. I mean, would anyone deny that Dorosh is a plague? Could any virus, bacteria, or germ be more omnipresent than Dorosh? Whether it's a thread on the 'Italian Navy in 1935', or 'The Proper Way to Square Dance' on the General Forum, Dorosh, will be there to infect it. The next choice was a bit more of a tussle. But after much thought, it became clear that Andreas was War. I can't think of any poor sod who's been at the heart of more bitter struggle than Andreas. I imagine that 'Hating Andreas' will be a test sport in the next Olympics. A lot of it, of course, comes from an almost magical inability to understand Andreas's sense of humour. It's like a combination of the all the most challenging aspects of the British and German senses of humour: A fine sense of the absurd, with an unwillingness to suffer fools, capped off with a certain happy willingness to hurt people in the name of a good joke. So Andreas was clearly War. Well, with that established, Berli, of course, was Death. That too fit, upon reflection. He's laconic, and quite untroubled by any passing concerns with people's 'issues'. Like it, don't like it, it's all the same to him. He's rather thoroughly unconcerned with how people take him. Expect to see him carrying a scythe at the next CM get together. Leaving, finally, Mr. Michael Emrys. Or Famine, as he's now known. Oh, many might say, 'Ha, so Emrys is Famine just because that's what's left, eh?' Not at all. When I consider Emrys, I am always taken aback at how little there is to work with there. And yet, someone (nameless), found him so worthy of dislike that he included him as one of the 'Figures' who control the CM Board. Emrys, clearly, leaves our sense of hatred starved, while demanding that we acknowledge him. He is inescapable. When we confront him, his very passivity and reasonableness leave us weak and hopeless. When it comes to hatred, there is simply nothing to get your teeth into. If you're sane, that is. I'm sure there are some who will gnaw the bones of anger and idiocy no matter how dust dry and meatless they might be. So, what then, can we conclude? Simply this, CMers. The End Times are upon us. Their Messengers are among us. We are witnesses to the Great Ride Out. But some of them are currently beta-testing CFAK, and such, so the major concern is whether we're going to be able to play Free French against Vichy French scenarios. If not, then I, for one, consider the End of the Universe to be at hand. And about time. Bad job all round, I say. If it wasn't for CM, there'd be damn little proof of anything other than random causality and Chaos Theory to blame everything on. Emrys. Sodding Emrys. Leaves me hungry to know what his bloody secret is. I mean, how is it Emrys is a figure of over-weaning Evil, and I don't even get a mention? Bloody cheek. You try, and you try. You ask for people's hatred, you invite people to hate you. You spend long hours posting annoying gibberish confident, at least, that Grogs will hate you, and what do you get? Some lunatic decides that Emrys is a controlling figure deserving of ultimate hatred. Emrys. HE DIDN'T EVEN COME IN THIRD IN THE THREE-WAY 'WHAT POPULAR CM POSTER DO YOU THINK SHOULD BE PUT TO DEATH?' CONTEST! [ October 23, 2003, 12:28 AM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

You know, I still remember the time my father's business partner and our family friend of many, many years handed me and my brother-in-law each an untwisted wire coat-hanger and told us we were going to learn how to 'vent ducks'. As he explained what was going to happen next, we kept exchanging side-long glances, trying to decide if this was some sort of 'hazing', 'hunting the snipe' sort of rite of passage thing for our first trip duck hunting, or whether we were being initiated into some strange animal mutilation cult. It never, ever occurred to us that this was something that was actually done. We were all ready to laugh until he picked up one of the recently killed bluebills and...demonstrated. I remember it was very, very quiet there for a moment in the October woods. I mean, it seemed bad enough that we'd taken the poor wee birdies and filled them with #6 shot, without doing...that, after they were dead. But they weren't kidding, and for the next 20 minutes or so, we stood there, wire-coat hangers of defamation in hand, and 'vented' the days shoot. We both joked, and made light of it, but we also both agreed that it was going to be a while before we could eat spaghetti again... [ October 06, 2003, 11:19 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Nibble me. Right here, on the earlobe! Now don't you wish you'd kept your cake-hole shut?

I'm in mourning. My Mortal Enemy just got a warning, and the thread was locked because of him. Well, and us. Grammont even said he felt all dirty after wading in there to lock it. Our work there is done! Let's ride! [ October 04, 2003, 12:13 PM: Message edited by: Seanachai ]

Damn you, Firefly, are you taking the piss out of my Mortal Enemy?! Of course, your remarks would explain his almost total insanity. Not to mention his almost endless attempts to disrupt this Board in the name of being so f'ing weird that most people just stand back and go 'Dude' (yes, I have much younger advisors; they're my nephews), Cabron66 is now declared a useless, 'anything to stir up trouble, and make a fuss about nothing at all' Troll. He's not here to to discuss. He's here to disrupt. Pillock.

Don't you mean... 'he is the Devil sitting atop that freakin' mountain with machineguns and mortars and things that go boom, oh my' </font>

Actually, Seanachai's worth a lot of spit. In fact I could spit on him frequently. Mace </font>

Ignore him... he doesn't know about the manniquin </font>

Here, give us a kiss, Cabron! You were only gone a week, eh? Schedule another round, lad. The Electro-Convulsive Therapy didn't take. You're still angry, aggressive, paranoid, and abusive. Don't use the cut-rate services. Only the true professionals will give you the relief necessary to make the leap to inner peace. Now, stop stalking your imagined 'enemies', like Berli, Emrys, and Dorosh, and try and get back to the business of Combat Mission, yes? I mean, right now, lad, you're looking like you came in here to pick a fight with people who aren't interested in buffing the shoes of nazi-huggers. You may be disturbingly humourless, but I'd never accuse you of being a NSDP groupie.