Hakko Ichiu

Professor Doktor Hamster X has allowed me to use my computer once again, but I think I am being watched, so I must be very careful what I say. I am surprised and amazed that no one has commented on the controversy surrounding Schutz's death. While he was tried and convicted after the war, the conviction was in absentia. Some theorize that he was killed by a British Special Weasel Assassination squad which then skinned him and made him into a lovely half-length stole for Mrs. Churchill. This has never been proven, and all records pertaining to SWASs remain protected under the Official Secrets Act. The sharp-eyed will, however, have noted the suspiciously field-gray appearance of Mrs. Major's evening wrap during the 50th Anniversary of VE-Day celebrations. The notion that he choked on a loose femur while eating his own young has been thoroughly de-bunked by Pelzhändler, although Andreas, in his unmitigable ignorance, no doubt still subscribes to this discredited bit of propaganda. Although the absence of Schutz's body has provoked any number of crazy stories, the purported sightings in the woods of northern Canada of an ancient, German-muttering chinchilla with a mean streak remain unfounded rumours. Yes, Professor Doktor Hamster X, I'll get back in my cage now. Just don't put me on the treadmill again... ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 08-12-2000).]

He's not the Führer, he's a very naughty boy. ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

Since we aren't limited in time period here: The Conqueror -- The Duke as Genghis Khan; 'nuff said. Starship Troopers -- enough to make a bug queen roll over in her hive... ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by The Commissar: In light of the little song made up by Hacho Ichiu, I hope this thread does not make ALL people whose names sound Russian look bad. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Commissar, The song was actually written many years ago by a famous singer/songwriter/professor of mathematics named Tom Lehrer. He is very well known in N. America and the UK, and, I'm sure, among Anglophones everywhere. I believe N. I. Lobachefsky was indeed a famous mid-century mathematician who plagiarized from his colleagues. If you can get any of Tom Lehrer's records/CDs, I can highly recommend them, although some of the more famous songs are now a bit dated (e.g., "So Long Mom, I'm Off to Drop the Bomb"), they are still very, very funny. ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

Here is a little song I wrote on the spur of the moment in honor of our new friend, Skorzeny: Who made me the genius I am today, The mathematician that others all quote, Who's the professor that made me that way? The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat. One man deserves the credit, One man deserves the blame, And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Hi! Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach- I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lochevsky. In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics: Plagiarize! Plagiarize, Let no one else's work evade your eyes, Remember why the good Lord made your eyes, So don't shade your eyes, But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize - Only be sure always to call it please 'research'. And ever since I meet this man My life is not the same, And Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Hi! Nicolai Ivanovich Lobach- I am never forget the day I am given first original paper to write. It was on analytic and algebraic topology of locally Euclidean metrization of infinitely differentiable Riemannian manifold. Bozhe moi! This I know from nothing. But I think of great Lobachevsky and get idea - ahah! I have a friend in Minsk, Who has a friend in Pinsk, Whose friend in Omsk Has friend in Tomsk With friend in Akmolinsk. His friend in Alexandrovsk Has friend in Petropavlovsk, Whose friend somehow Is solving now The problem in Dnepropetrovsk. And when his work is done - Haha! - begins the fun. From Dnepropetrovsk To Petropavlovsk, By way of Iliysk, And Novorossiysk, To Alexandrovsk to Akmolinsk To Tomsk to Omsk To Pinsk to Minsk To me the news will run, Yes, to me the news will run! And then I write By morning, night, And afternoon, And pretty soon My name in Dnepropetrovsk is cursed, When he finds out I publish first! And who made me a big success And brought me wealth and fame? Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Hi! Nicolai Ivanovish Lobach - I am never forget the day my first book is published. Every chapter I stole from somewhere else. Index I copy from old Vladivostok telephone directory. This book was sensational! Pravda - well, Pravda - Pravda said: (Russian double-talk) It stinks. But Izvestia! Izvestia said: (Russian double-talk) It stinks. Metro-Goldwyn-Moskva buys movie rights for six million rubles, Changing title to 'The Eternal Triangle', With Ingrid Bergman playing part of hypotenuse. And who deserves the credit? And who deserves the blame? Nicolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name. Hi! ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

"Hakko Ichiu" aka "Ethan" is currently being held by the Hamster Liberation Front. I have taken control of his terminal; you may call me Professor Doktor Hamster X. You don't even want to know what we have done to his cat. We, the Free Hamsters of the world, will no longer tolerate being the butt of all flame wars. What do you think we are, gerbils? We will no longer countenance being compared to SS-Panzergrenadiers or being grilled, barbecued, poached, baked, or otherwise cooked in AFVs (and this includes non-heat intensive cooking methods such as slaking, curing, cold-smoking, and marinating in lime juice). If all disparaging references to Hamsters in this thread (and all others on all BBSs around the world) are not removed immediately, we will begin retaliatory action. Be warned, we are in possession of a tactical plumbing device. If our demands are not met, we will not hesitate to throw the kitchen sink at the forces of Hamster oppression. The time for action has come!!!! And you can tell those @#$#@#$s at the Front for Hamster Liberation that they can kiss my furry @$$. {edited for typos. You try typing on a full sized keyboard when your hands are 1/2 an inch wide and you weigh 2 ounces.} [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 08-10-2000).]

Mmm, Kölsch...

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Germanboy: Don't think Ethan shares, he is a greedy thingie. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Jah Mercy, Geraniumboy, the words coming out of your mouth show clearly that you are part of the forces of Babylon. None of my harvest for you. Go to Amsterdam if you want to commune with the Thunder and Lightning Love of Jah. Yah, man. Joe Shaw can come share my harvest after my Yardies show his tourist men how to catch a fire. <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>We are fortunate enough that nobody has brought up hamsters yet, but methinks it can not be far off.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> We put the hamsters in the jerk pit, man. Then we eat them with akee and fried banana. Righteous. Respect, man. Now I'm gonna roll me a big spliff... ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 08-09-2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by mscano: Do you think Ditka would actually need the Humvee w/TOW? <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> It is a mini Ditka... ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

Now I and I must lay down the true Rosterfarian line because, Jah Mercy, I and I is truly living in Babylon now. I and I thinks Germinating Boy has been smoking too many of my halftracks and ignoring the good harvest, Jah love. And Joe Shaw, no problem, irie, 'cause my Yardies are going to show you the true knowledge of the Lion of Judah, Haile Selassie, Jah love, man. Chumbawambajerkchickenandcurriedgoat, you be living in the love light of Jah, and Professor Appleton be down with the truth of the fiery flaming Jah Thunder and Lightning martyrdom of the great Bob Marley. Irie! Jah love. And Pascal and David Aitken, lay off the scotch bonnet hotsauce, take a hit of my good harvest and bask in the Zion Coptic Love Light of Jah Mercy and Love. And don't go touching that black goat, she's mine, no problem. ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by PzKpfw 1: Don't go their do NOT say 'best' tank it sparks the endless uber best tank thread ......... <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> No worries, John. Everyone on this board knows that the laurel goes to the Hotchkiss. ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

Best of the non-peaties?? Try Glenmorangie 18-year old (or the 100 proof). Also, Craigellachie is nice if you like your malts a bit lighter. It's hard to find outside of the UK, I think. Has anybody tried the Glendronach? I got some at my last trip through duty-free, and haven't broached it yet. Still luvin' the Lagavulin ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Jeff Heidman: Would Jordan get to wear basketball shoes? Jeff <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I think he'd have to wear leg irons just to make it fair. ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by *Captain Foobar*: Ok then , how about a Mini-Mike Ditka, with infrared goggles, and a TOW equipped Humvee vs. the 1944 Panzer Lehr. I say Mike Ditka 162, Lehr 0.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> But what if we gave the Panzer Lehr Michael Jordan?? ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

Chapel Hill, NC USA. The Southern Part of Heaven, but today it's hotter than the Other Place (95^F/35^C and 99% relative humidity). ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

The accounts of the war that I have read suggest that one tile is of primary importance: -- The manure pile. ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

Do Gammon bombs operate on the HESH principle? Keegan implies as much in his description of paratroop equipment in "Six Armies in Normandy". ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

Second Jeff's recommendation of The Ardennes Offensive. Very elegant, and free!!! ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 08-05-2000).]

Tommi. The martial reputation of the Finns precedes them, but I'm buggered if I'll use any formation that calls itself "sissi". Give me manly men any day. ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by howardb: I Howard Bjerke from the Norwegian office will do my outmost to put diplomatic pressure into this law. The situation as it stands today is not tolerable, I think when I say I got the people of Norway behind me it's not an exaggeration.<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> I'm sure you're both very upset about this issue. And the reindeer are positively off their moss. ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe {Edited for stupid grammatical typo} [This message has been edited by Hakko Ichiu (edited 08-03-2000).]

<BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Doug Beman: Fast, easily air-liftable, carrying guns and missiles, capable of killing its targets and surviving the fight? I think such a vehicle is a pipe-dream; unless Chobham armor suddenly gets a lot lighter, or else cargo planes suddenly quadruple their useful payloads, the main battle panzers are gonna have to go surface freighter. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE> Are you sure about this?? I thought an M1A2 could fit into a C5 Galaxy for airlift. Didn't they do this in the Gulf? ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

36, but you're only as young as the woman you feel, so that makes me...35. ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

Here, Borg-ie, Borg-ie, Borg-ie...

It seems the lawyers are out in force on this topic. To my mind, this is good, because the more time lawyers spend arguing on this board, the less damage they can do to the economy. I am, in fact, thinking of starting a foundation that will ship gratis copies of CM to all members of the plaintiffs' bar -- I leave the likely benefits of this enterprise to your imagination. Having now offended every lawyer on the board, a legal question: To what extent is d/ling pirated software equivalent to receiving stolen property?? From a moral standpoint, I can see no difference in using warez/appz and buying a Rolex watch that "just fell off the back of a truck", or even receiving same as a gift in full knowledge of its provenance. Comments eagerly anticipated. ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe

Congratulations, S&C! As a former management consultant and an author of business books, I love a great small-business success story. I've always believed in the viability of small players in strong niche markets, and it's nice to see that confirmed every now and then. Two points: 1) You need better sales forecasting 2) Delay CM2 as long as possible or my next book may never get written. ------------------ Ethan ----------- Das also war des Pudels Kern! -- Goethe