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Countdown to the Apocalypso: A Challenge to the Four Horsemen


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cue the steel drums

Sorry to have to take this out into the public venue, as it were, but it's the only way to make sure that my Challenge is seen by all the recipients in a timely manner.

Oh, yes, I could have emailed them, you'll say. But most of them have me blocked with their ISP, so that's not the eight-fold path it should be.

I hereby do issue a Combat Mission: Afrika Korps Challenge to that manipulative gang of thugs known as The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypso.

You know them, of course, as the four vicious individuals who control the Combat Mission Forums from behind the scenes. A sort of Combat Mission Tri-Lateral Commission, as it were.

But they are more than that.

I name them now: Michael Dorosh, Michael Emrys, Andreas, and Berlichtigen.

I Challenge you Anthropomorphic Personifications to a game of CMAK. And none of your fixed ****e, silly buggers scenarios.

I Challenge you for control over the Apocalypso itself.

Should I win 3 out of the 4 games, you will acknowledge me as the God of the Apocalypso. You will also periodically then address me as 'Boss'.

Should I lose 3 out of the 4 games, I will acknowledge your power as supreme. I will hold no other Anthropomorphic Personifications before you. And I will write for each of you an ode praising your unique...personification.

None of your 'off the shelf' stuff, either, but an original ode.

Should the Four of You decline this Challenge, you will be revealed for a bunch of nasty little poseurs who between you isn't worthy of the hatred of Iron Chef Sakai.

Now, let the great axe fall.

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Originally posted by Salkin:

Hmmm...Seanachai has delusions of grandieur again.

Challenging the horsemen of the apocalypso...

Well you will be remembered .

Peace be with you "ThePoetWhoWrote2Much".

//Salkin

Again? You mean STILL! We've become used to it but it is disturbing to see him "off the reservation" so to speak. Much like that "odd" uncle that the family tries to keep under wraps but who manages to wander off into the street mumbling, drooling and wearing different colored socks ... actually that's a pretty fair description of Seanachai come to think on it ... of course he doesn't always wear socks ... of course his feet look mismatched even so.

Joe

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Originally posted by Seanachai:

Should I win 3 out of the 4 games, you will acknowledge me as the God of the Apocalypso. You will also periodically then address me as 'Boss'.

Bugger off.

Should I lose 3 out of the 4 games, I will acknowledge your power as supreme.
See above.

And I will write for each of you an ode praising your unique...personification.

None of your 'off the shelf' stuff, either, but an original ode.

Who gives a f***?

Michael

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Originally posted by Berlichtingen:

No Emrys... maybe we should take him up on this challenge. No, I agree, that 'boss' crap is right out, but maybe we can come up with something more reasonable. How's this sound... if he wins FOUR games we acknowledge his existence... y'know, maybe spit on him in public or somefink

And if he loses one, we roast him on a spit? I'll think about that.

Michael

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Originally posted by Michael Emrys:

And if he loses one, we roast him on a spit? I'll think about that.

Well that seems a bit drastic for losing only one... two seems fairer. How 'bout if he loses one we all kick him in the fork and if he loses two or more we roast him?

y'know, it bothers me that Famine is recommending roasting... it just doesn't sound right

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Well, Michael, the way I figure it, since the Gnome issued the challenge, we get to select the weapons, right? So you get to send him the set up. Heh, heh. Are you beginning to see the possibilities here? Elite Sherman battalion against conscript Italian platoon? With you leading the tanks? Someone should be there to record his expression when he opens the scenario and again when the first move is about halfway done. Hee, hee, hee.

:D

Michael

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Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

Is this to be one of those Peng Challenge type scenarios where my beloved Canadians land at the foot of the cliffs on Omaha Beach without ladders (again)?

It's got a certain appeal to it, now doesn't it.

I could even add some reinforcements a la Event Horizon...

In order for it to be a proper challenge, you ponyboys ought to select the parameters, with someone independent actually creating the scenarios. I would be happy to volunteer to create a set of scenarios for you (or you could get four volunteers), since I hate you all equally (though I hate some of you more than the others).

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How very droll.

Now, if you can guarantee CMAK is in my inbox on Tuesday, and my HD is fixed and back from the shop, maybe we'll be in business.

The only PBEM I had with Seanachai was an agonizingly long approach march with Canadians to the top of a mountain, with Churchills in support...

Were you the jocko who designed the "Juno Beach" scenario that was forced on Panzer Leader and myself back in the day? I still haven't forgiven the perpetrator of that one...

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Originally posted by Michael Dorosh:

Were you the jocko who designed the "Juno Beach" scenario that was forced on Panzer Leader and myself back in the day? I still haven't forgiven the perpetrator of that one...

Look on the bright side. At least you didn't have to play Event Horizon. I was afraid to even look at that one, let alone open it up to play. Peng and Sir Bubble Tea were going to come out here and do unspeakable things as revenge for making them play it.

Fortunately they got so drunk in Minneapolis that they forgot who they were and had an existential crisis. They spent a year sitting in coffee houses in the Twin Cities wearing all black, with little berets and goatees, smoking clove cigarettes and going to open mike nights to read drivel that was even worse than what Sir Bubble Tea posts here. They only snapped out of it when Lars managed to take them out ice fishing (in a daring ruse, involving pickled herring, tweed, and a jar of candied mushrooms, illegally imported from Russia) and dunk them in ice water for a while to search for his snowmobile.

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