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Lawngnome

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Everything posted by Lawngnome

  1. New Zealand... the only place that uses the word "new" just for the hell of it... and if it is "Zealand"... what the hell is a "Zea"... is that an inbred Aussie that was put on a raft and sent East? just curious :cool:
  2. i apologize for the hyperbole concerning the M1 reaching new zealand, i assumed there would be no confusion =) desperate for attention, the US? Damnit i wish everyone would stop thinking about us, we have too much attention... not my fault we are kicking arse in the olympics right now (as usual)... how about that Mens 4x200 swim relay? down to hundredths of a second and the US pulls it off (if you asked me it looked like the Aussies won though...) but it's ok... i have a nice sense of humor, and you deserve to taunt me until the day i go six feet under for that ignorant remark concerning prisoners... i solemnly apologize Mr. Seanachai, sir... expanding waist lines? yeah, i can't deny my countrymen's laziness and putrid appearance... but as is rather plain to the world we possess some of the best athletes in the world as well, so it's not all bad... I'm sure not fat... as a DI i would be a disgrace to have over 3% body fat... i can assure you i am more fit than you are, but i also assure you, Mace, you could whallop me in any CM game that could be conceived... BTW... I have immense geographical knowledge (a hobby of mine) and i have been to every sizeable nation in western and southern Europe (including Liechtenstein).... so yes, I know the difference between the mountainous beauty of Austria and the humble island nation of Australia... i spent 8 years of my life in Europe, but it wasn't my cup of tea... (my culture is too obsessed with cleanliness to understand the European ways) honestly? i never hear any talk about Australia from Americans... we just talk about ourselves, really... we are too busy hating our own nation to worry about anyone else... a generalization, of course, but alarmingly wide-spread.... Do continue the attacks towards me, though, don't let such an ignorant AMERICAN make you quit after just one round!! I enjoy a good "hostile conversation" now and then... it's good to have one with someone besides my wife or teenager...
  3. my AT guys hit their flanks 3 shots in a row.... then the tank crew sees them and with one shot from a kilometer knocks them out and annihilates the entire crew.... but oh well...
  4. realistic unit setting, +1 occasionally... camera levels 1-2 mostly, 4 for planning, but i rarely use the "2D" views.... i have become a real freak about finding every small hill, ridge, or dip in a map to plan my attack/defense, so level 1 sucks up most of my time....
  5. I just completed the scenario "The Defense of Snipe" as Axis... around turn 25 (of 48) i had overrun the outpost and collected a total of 83 prisoners... some surrendered without losing a man out of their squad (e.g. a full 10 man rifle squad and 6 man company command unit)... i resented these cowards lowering my final score (prisoners award less points than inflicted casualties)... so i had to do something... What to do... What to do... Then it hit me... EXECUTE THEM!!! That's right... group them all up in the center and have all of my useless infantry fire mercilessly into the crowd until they all lay dead... well, i had a few problems with the bastards trying to run while i was shooting them, but once i brought in 2 platoons of crappy italian tanks (M14/40's) all 83 of them had the beautiful word "eliminated" suspended above them.. Am i mean? Maybe... but i just wanted a good score... final score... 82-18... Oh Yeah! Am i alone? Has anyone else ever done such a thing?
  6. No, you are right... i never got into the steppe maps... my fault then for my color problems...
  7. Errrr... in theory... you sound correct... but... you forget that the Mp5 was a gift from Odin and could actually... well... no, doesn't make sense...
  8. Hehe... I was in the desert for way too damn long... it's sad that over a year of my life was spent in a crappy-ass treeless land... I just blame Hussein... Desert in CMAK? I take it as a nice change from the green... white... green... white... green... white... of CMBB... it presents more of a challenge and provides more experienced players with an even greater edge... GG
  9. Yeah, but the Brits were kinda desperate... and they were led by the most able alcoholic leader that has ever graced the paths of London... so he knew what he was doing... Aussies are only desperate for attention... nobody seems to look south these days... how is the ozone down there anyway? still have any left? don't feel bad though, ozone isn't too important when you sit inside and drink beer... But the point is... M1's don't have to move... they can just sit in Canberra or Sydney and blow the hell out of Kiwiland without breaking a sweat or wasting too much petrol... as a retiring (20 years, glorious day!!!) US soldier, i can certainly vouch for the effectiveness of those bad boys in combat... captured Iraqis always complained that "we didn't fight fair"... our armor handled most of the fighting at a few miles distance, too far for the eye to see, in the night... sure impressed me at the time, being my first combat experience... poor Iraqi's just held their hands up as we drove up most of the time... we just chuckled and made them strip down naked while photographing them... (j/k, though in retrospect, it might have made the whole ordeal a bit more... tolerable? hehe)
  10. ew... a southerner... Poke it with a stick and see if it moves. Michigan is the home of rejects though, which is why I had to get the hell out of there. Of course, my current location doesn't make me feel much better... don't laugh... but... currently I'm stationed in central Missouri... ugh... never seen so many 70's ford pickups driven by scrawny old men in overalls picking their rotting teeth with a dirt-coated finger before in my life... -Palko
  11. Ami? We are called "Ami's" around here??? Well, I don't think any freakin' Canucks need CMAK... they can go hunt some caribou for entertainment... Me? I'm going to cry. The wife is witholding CMAK from me. She says I need to spend more time with her or some crap like that. I don't get it. This is what I get for putting up with her for 19 years? Hardly fair. Supposedly I will find CMAK under the Christmas tree on the 25th... Until then.... -Palko
  12. Well, by no means am I an expert on these matters... but I have witnessed Abrams in the Gulf War.... and they are just about invincible against standard weapons. RPG-7V?? Kill an Abrams? Nah, the chances are so slim it's not worth mentioning. I remember a few times hearing an RPG go off nearby and the round just bounced off the hull of the Abrams... but im in Chemical, so like I said, by no means am I an expert. All I know is America needs to sell a few dozen Abrams main battle tanks to Israel...
  13. I always thought they looked a little plain and ugly... I just stuck them on the seashore and called in rocket barrages to watch them fall.... :cool:
  14. Well, this certainly has made tempers flare... let me give my life story!! <--- loves infantry battle <--- dislikes more than a platoon of armor to control <--- is glad PTO is not being done at this time <--- loves all three CM games, even if they aren't perfect <--- realizes no game is perfect because humans are not perfect That said I think infantry combat integrated with armor combat is what makes this game so tense at times. What is better than charging your Pz IV in for a nice blast of canister in the face of that annoying squad stuck in the trench? How dramatic is watching a platoon of infantry run across a field under fire while their friendly AFV targets their attackers and supports them?? I would argue that while armor combat has been done excellently in this game, it only magnifies the spectacular infantry combat. It is entirely too easy to issue a "hunt" command to your tiger and watch him rip T-34's to shreds like little Timmy ripping wrapping paper on the morning of the 25th, but how much more grueling and engaging is it to plot out an infantry strike?? Am I the only one who gets a huge grin on his face when my carefully plan surgical strike with a fresh platoon of Panzergrenadiers into my enemy's flank decimates him and sends him into retreat? Infantry combat.... more difficult, more engaging, more satisfying.... Yet it wouldn't be that great without those pretty tanks.... -Palko
  15. OMG He just called us hicks. Even if he is right... we can't stand for that. Come on guys... think of a clever comeback... quick!
  16. Yeah, they know the Canucks can't match the fury of the Frenchies.... So they give them damn Frenchies their CMAK a bit sooner to quell their urge to piss us all off... we still love them Frenchies though.... don't we?
  17. Well, I never did any AT work in Iraq back in '90-'91, but I certainly know that those weapons are beasts... The one thing I regret about modern warfare, though, is that the U.S. is so advanced that any future wargames about this period would be grossly unfair...
  18. Hey! Who says we want Canada? Give it to Russia or Japan.... We have enough Canucks beating on our borders trying to buy cheap American drugs.... well, I hereby swear allegiance to the Cheery Wafflers.... henceforth I love you all more than myself.... of course you can always kick me to the curb and curse my name all the while laughing.... i suppose that would be more entertaining anyway... -Palko
  19. well, the esteemed states of Minnesota and Michigan also fall into the "pop" category... I'm a Michigan boy by birth, but I quickly lost my ugly northern ways when I left home... I must say being in Alabama for 2 years was the scariest experience of my life.... get this.... they have roads that AREN'T PAVED!!! That's right.... no pavement.... it's really wierd.... Not since southern Hannover and northern Northumbria have I witnessed such backward ways... Alabama doesn't need a sign to tell you that you crossed state lines.... you can tell by how much your car starts to shake from the shoddy roads... I must say, though, the one populated continent I have never been to is Australia... a disappointment I guess.... I always wondered how a nation founded on the same principles as our state of Georgia would work.... Just get all of the low-lifes and throw them in one place, and within a generation or two they turn good... well, sorta... the Aussies I have known always seemed a bit off in their humor...
  20. Well, Slovakia goes unrepresented, so I am without an army to place my funny name... until then I have to insert "Sgt. Palko Minarovic" into battles as a tiger commander against russian BT-7's and have some fun. -Palko
  21. Bah! Want to insult Yanks? Well, I won't oppose you much. I loathe my countrymen at times, especially our ruling class that "knows how I feel". Seems a bit off to assume I think like the rest of my brethren seeing as even siblings quarrel daily. Public opinion polls, can't live without them. Regardless of my nation's ignorance, and forgetting all of the horrible movies (Saving Private Ryan was the ultimate redeemer, though), we are the center of the world. Love us. Hate us. Or just hate us. Hell, we hate ourselves. Nah... I just hate those funny southerners and their backward ways. Or those wierd northerners and their "pop"... WE AREN'T EVEN A REAL COUNTRY!!! We just thought it would be beneficial to share an apartment. So then you get this wierd thing called America. All of our 1 million accents and all. What is an "American" accent anyway?? They need a poll for that one. I declare the midwestern "plainspeak" as our country's accent. None of that New Yorker crap you guys use for your games ... But, remember, all in jest my friends.... -Palko
  22. Well, im a Combat Mission vet, so this surprised me. The squads were advancing through brush and were in command. Apparently brush is not as effective as it used to be, but I have had regular German squads fare better on ice.... I suppose this could be an isolated incident, caused by something I was unaware of. If it happens again I will be forced to swear allegiance to the commonwealth though...
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